I want us to move far away from here Ruby…" I tried to cajole her for third time in her office.
"do you have any place in mind?"
"don't tell me you've forgotten so soon."
"you want us to go to the mountains?"
" A place we can start all over, Ruby. I don't want us to mimic the past. I want us to start something new. Our own story…"
"we still be mimicking the past. What about wodmax, DedRox, and the clubs?" she asked
"what about DedRox and the clubs?" I replied, bracing myself for what may follow, I know the look in her eyes so well.
"how long did you intend to keep it a secret?"
"it's not a secret, Ruby."
"yet you never share. You go to the clubs every night to do god knows what?"
"I had to make sure Kogna and slash are running things well down there. we need the money from those clubs…."
"and you want to leave all that behind?"
"no, we are in a digital world ruby. I don't have to be here to run things."
"you are a pimp Kuga, how long will it take for you to get depressed in those mountains?"
"I am trying here lady, this is me trying to settle down and do something great with my life..."
"why all the secrecy about DedRox, I have been Sub-contracting it for the drilling in the oil fields of wodmax, and it has become our partner in lots of projects in the past year.
Yet, you never said a word about your connections to the company...
Diana relished in her diatribe to me about how nothing can stand in the way of you two, because you are connected to her in so many ways I will never will.
How can I be with a man who is a total stranger to me?"
That explains a lot. "it never occurs to me in that sense Ruby, there is so much happening already, and…"
"and what Spooky? Is it about Mika, and how you drink milk from her in the ships? What sort of man are you? a rake, a playboy?…. And there is Berge too, your shadow at wodmax, I can sniff her lascivious hunger for your company…"
"enough Ruby! I thought we have moved pass all this…"
"we have not yet begun Spooky…."
"what is wrong with you, lady!"
"everything Spooky'. I have been director of wodmax without knowing you own the company till Nebulous mention it.
you've made me look like a fool for far too long."
"don't do this to us Ruby…"
"get out of my head, don't even try that with me." she pushed me out from her cognition telepathically.
What is wrong this woman? what is going on here?
"what the hell do want, Ruby? I am here with you in my house, where you refuse me my own bed. This is me Ruby, this is all of me, the part of me you know so well, I can't be anything more than that."
"how will you understand? Who am I to you spooky? And I don't want any glib talk about nothing…
we live under one roof, we work in the same organization, we eat the same food. We rode home together; we talk almost about everything. Great romance. Great sex. Even a great bond. Crappy right? for all the above means nothing to you selfish prick."
"stuff the drama up your ***.... damn, Why can't we just be us Ruby?"
"I am not any woman, Spooky. you already know that, yet all you do is hurt me...." she said with resignation, sighed and lean back on the chair.
"you mentioned great romance or whatever. what is romantic about the way we live now? Crappy right? what is wrong with us?"
"I see things about you, and around you I don't want to see. now you want my answer, there! you have it.... whatever you do with any other woman, I feel it..."
"I am not a single entity Ruby. Lord, are we really having this conversation. I don't to go into these things...."
"we have to talked about these things..."
"you want a confession, okay fine.... I am having black outs okay, I know I am in this person called myself, but something else share the body with, I don't what it is..."
"When was the last time you heard from Spooky..."
"what! what does Spooky has to do with all this?"
The melting golden eyes of the woman hypnotized me in her mysterious gaze, and she said slowly;
"he is no more talking to you, he is now taking charge. You are scared to acknowledge that. However, when it comes to this thing that has nothing to do with him, you are quick to use him as an excuse.... how dare you Kuga!"
if there is some called confusion, anxiety, depression or whatever emotion it was, I couldn't put a name to. all I know is I felt terrible. hellish, macabre tiny ferocious goblins eating me alive from within.
I didn't know what to say. I wanted this woman. I trusted her. And there something, it make me want to go down on my knees and bellow to the woman what I feel about her, but I have know words.
"I am lost". I said finally. the world is probably coming to an end, and I feel it in my bones.
"I want you to cut all dealings with the Diana. Mika as well. I saw the memories you shared with all those women, and I don't want to see any more of those that's why I cut you off from my mind. Till you cleans yourself of those memories, I won't allow you access to my mind."
she dare to tell me that. what nerve. I could smell roasted flesh in my nostrils. A fire of fury started to burn, I couldn't hold none of it anymore.
"what about the bloody memories of you as a panther, Ruby. Horrible scenes of you killing and feeding…. Yes Ruby, I see it all but I am still here, yearning to sleep next to you, and wake up every morning with you…". she claps her palms to her face and started to rock back and forth…
"no, I didn't think I heard that from… tell me you didn't say that spooky. Tell me you don't mean any of that…" she was murmuring to herself.
"oh yes, you heard it woman, every bit of it. and I mean it. We're are broke, creepy, screwed up couple. I've nothing left woman... nothing".
l stood up with a burning stomach, a heavy heart, and a head that seem not to belong to me.
Day light from the slided window pane Shone on her face. She was hurt so bad, the pain felt palpable. I felt like I am bleeding inside just by looking at her.
She internalizes the agony so much, it made her eyes bulge. I want to apologize. But apologies have no place in this kind of terrain. Sweet universe, I am tired of apologizing...
"I guess were are through then. I will bring in my resignation letter tomorrow Mr. Kuga. And I will go and park at the house…".
I nearly broke down in tears. Yet, I went to the door and opened it for her.
"here you go Ruby… walk out to your freedom, and I will live with mine. I think we've both had enough of each other. Goodbye Ruby….".
She paused at the door for a while, her eyes dark. She finally steped out into the long corridors, and walked with spine erect, but feel her whaling inside.
The pain sting excruciatingly, and I wanted to run after her, but I deny myself this treasure I knew I never deserve in the first place, mates or not.
"what have you done kuga?" Nebulous queried in my mind Telepathically.
"Nebulous? are you close." "Yes, I am here at wodmax, come down stairs… I need you in the basement."