I spend the rest of the day indoors in my room, thinking about seeing a doctor when I have the chance.
I remembered, I caught a knee on the same spot, playing basketball in my university days.
Naked under the sheets, I pressed a wet cold towel on the spot, praying the pain will subside.
My phone buzz, and I picked it up. it was Kogna.
I did try connecting with the hit man, but he was off the grid in every possible way.
"hello Kogna, where in God's name have you been, man?".
"I went off grid, spooky. Dangerous streets out here man. Way too cold after them take out Ziggy, and lock you up on the Mars, for I did scavenge the earth, but smell you nowhere..."
"about ziggy, I am sorry Kogna."
"hell yah spooky. Why did you do it?".
"did what?"....
"snitch on a brother like that. I knew the guy went against you, but he didn't deserve to die like that you know, like a dog."
"I never snitch on nobody Kogna. It was just a tactical decision on the last minute. Damn Kogna, the bastards wanted me nailed on the cross and you knew it, or you did rather prefer I die and they walked free?"
"word is Mikey made the hit? and I know the man spooky. Man is a bully, but scared of his own breath to make such a hit."
"how is lyza coping, Kogna?".
"whatcha wanna to hear spooky. Gal is tuff, but she with child man. Boy is two, quick like his papa," Kogna said and paused on the line.
If I didn't know the man very well, I would've concluded I sensed controlled emotions at the other end.
For the first time since Ziggy died, I found my eyes moist at his memory, and this new realization.
My inner world came tumbling and my heart wrenched in pain as the weight of the truth hit home.
Out there in the lonely alleys of the ghetto is a two-year-old boy, that will grow up without a father, who did fight his whole life to escape the hood.
"spooky, I gotta go. Catcha later…".
"where are you now, Kogna?"
"a place you can't find me."
"what does that mean Kogna? I need to know, we are on the same page Kogna. Lets set a date and meet, I need to see lyza and the boy…".
"looking for a way to wipe your guilt, right Spooky?"
"damn you Kogna, to hell with you. you can think whatever you want to think."
"hell yah spooky. Me and you, we are square. No beef man, but you definitely aint my friend. For lyza and the boy, I will call you and tell you where to meet" he said and hang up.
I heard a gentle rap on the door, "please can I come in, kuga." the plea in tone of Ruby flow into the confined space like a breeze.
"come in, Ruby." I replied, drawing the sheets up my chin, very conscious of my nudity under the sheets.
An impulsive act, rather than a calculated act of modesty.
"oh, I didn't know it was this serious kuga."
"nothing I can't handle Ruby," I offered encouragingly in an attempt to wipe off the contrite disposition of the puffy eye woman.
she did been crying. Only tears can get her eyes to look this enchanting.
"do you mind if I called the doctor?" she manages in a flat tone.
I am sorry Ruby in here in my heart; I wouldn't apologize to you though.
"I am fine, Ruby. I just need to get lazy on bed for a little while till the pain melts away." Ruby stifle a smile at this comment, and sat on the edge of the bed beside me.
"you smell onions."
"I am cooking jollof rice in the kitchen. Can you walk?".
"yeah. When my navel stop pulling."
"is it that bad, kuga."
"you happen to hit on an internal scar I did sustain in my college days."
"oh my goodness kuga. I truly am sorry. I will have to call in the doc after all."
"no Ruby, just get me some ice cubes from the freezer." In guided emotions, she walked out of room silently and came back with the ice.
"thank you ruby." she sat beside me again. Our silent thoughts exaggerated the time span, making it stretch into forever.
"say something Kuga, anything. Its unlike you to be this quite."
"I don't know what to say ruby."
"I want you to yell at me. slap me in the face, or rain insults on me… smash my heard on the wall and hurt me. that's a familiar terrain I know so well, not this...." she broke up in a sob.
"what are you talking about Ruby?"
"story of my life with a bastard call D'mick." I sat up against my will, "son of gun… did your papa know about any of this?"
"Kate and Diana advise me not to tell him." Maybe that's why Diana gave her the gun to protect herself.
She was shivering as the tears flows freely, and her body trembled with the recollection of painful memories.
That explains a lot. I had a feeling that her story is but a little piece of the broken glass though.
For the first time in my life, I wanted to kill a man with my bare hands.
"at first, I thought it was going to stop, but it only got worse, till I got so frighten of my own shadow…. And I thought maybe I deserve that….. I…"
"its okay ruby. Don't say it anymore. I now understand why you want to forget your past…" my voice came from a deadly place within me I never thought existed.
Her pain gnaws at my soul, eating it raw, enticing me to roar like an extraterrestrial monster.
We cling to each other, "it's okay to cry babe, cry…. Let your tears curse this accursed felon… and I sincerely apologize on behalf of all men Ruby, especially me.
I would never have spoken to you the way back in the garden had I known what you've been through in the hands of this demon.
I was simply trying to draw you out from your melancholy…."
Turning around to face me eyeball to eyeball, her expression solemn. she said;
"I am scared kuga. I could barely stand on my two feet before you came. But I promise myself to gather my scattered pieces, and focused on building my career. I keep telling myself, I need no man…."
"but you showed up, being nice to me, the feeling felt familiar, but I am way too damage to recognize that.
I treat you like a worm from the dirt, yet you stayed.
But the truth is no matter how hard you try, your efforts remain specious in my experience.
I dare not believe again. What if it happens all over again? When I knee you on the crouch back in the garden, I didn't know what I was doing.
It was pure instinct. I felt it was him, and he was going to hurt me if I don't attack first.…"
In streams her flows down to mingle with nasal discharge. Impulsively I wipe her face clean off the mess as she sat quite with more tears coming.
Knowing the woman wouldn't stop weeping any time soon. I draw her to me and we lay on the bed.
when our eyes meet again I couldn't help but took her by the lips. Warm and soft, velvet and slick, garnished with the earthly scent I know so well.
Initially she didn't react. But as I prop her delicious mouth gently with my long tongue, she gave in, and closed in on me.
As my phallus start to stretch in girth and length, I felt a sharp pain forcing me to stop.
Hungrily however, Ruby feasted on my mouth passionately. I have never felt this worthless on bed, hitherto, I like the fact that I can use that as a leverage to prospone this premature conjugation.
She heard my whimpers and stopped abruptly.
"oh, where are my manners, sorry kuga. The rice should be ready by now, I will be right back," she said shyly, and I saw a faint white smile, that reminded me of the rutby, I know.
Yah right babe, I can't wait to have you back.
At the door, she turned around and asked; "I called the realtor, and they confirmed your ownership of the place. how did you do it?".
"I did nothing Ruby. I just made them aware the previous owner is still alive. You will get back the amount owe to you after they are through with all the paper work."
"why this place, kuga." "this is my home ruby."
"I guess I have to start packing then." "stay Ruby. I need you here."
"what were you like? Being spooky, I mean?".
"hang around and find out for yourself". She blushes at the comment before walking out, and I downloaded the pleasant image into my psyche.