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Where ever it is I found myself, I couldn't tell. At first I did think it was all a joke, in that did I find hope; Hope that I will be released very soon.
But days turned to weeks, and weeks turned to months, now I am counting years.
No word from no body, Not ruby or her mystery of a father. Nothing from either, Diana, momma, or sky, absolutely nothing.
.
I tried putting together the missing pieces in this solitary confinement but nothing holds….
"I can't wait to have spooky in the underground breaking jaws…". Felix had said, I didn't pay much attention to what he was saying back then, because I knew it will never get to that. I Thought I had a plan.
"hey! Hey! Hey! I heard them shouting. For a whole year I heard them, but never got the opportunity to be among them. I did shout, howl, sing, blow whistles through my toothless mouth, yearning to be heard, no one ever comes to my aid.
I have a bunk bed I shared with no one in the 4 meter sqaure cubicle. The food was awful till I got use to it; two meals a day, mostly rice and vegetables with a piece of steak.
The tea is actually a treat, and to be given that privilege in this prison, make my days here bearable. .
A typical cell, with shower and water closet at the last end. Talking to the one bringing the food, clean sheets and towels, dental accoutrements and toiletries is quite a waste of sweat.
So I did conserve my sweat for pushing up, squatting, praying, meditating, reading and writing. trying to express myself freely in empty pages, I knew no one will ever read.
But at this point, all I have are questions: "where am I ?" I think I am in a cell in a moving ship.
the violent movement, perhaps caused by a stormed at sea, succeeds in making me puke everytime.
This must a vessel own by Lycan heights. And Ruby's father is the key to all this. He had kill feylix and Ziggy right before my eyes.
I was a witness to murder, and therefore expendable.
"and why not put a bullet in your head kuga." "good lord spooky, where have been man."
"I have been in contact with ruby." "wait, what the hell are talking about spooky? In contact with ruby how? You know what? Never mind… lets not go into that. I only want to make a meaning out of all this."
"alright kuga; they are five powerful families right? Now three out of the five team up against two familes which happen to be our side, Ruby's side.
Now, Ruby's father killed one prince from one of the three families because they tried to kill his only two daughters, which you have saved and brought to him."
"I already delved into al that spooky." I know you did kuga, the question is what does it insinuate?"
"why will he imprison me, instead of just squeezing the juice on me right there like he did ziggy and felix.?
"perhaps, he is saving you from the coming hurricane among themselves from the inside. Maybe the only reason why he didn't kill you is because of his daughter, or maybe you are here because of her."
"here because of ruby? How?". "locked you up to make sure the two of you never see each other again."
Nka had kept his promise to me, my life is in his hands now, and he can do with me as he pleases.
He wants to break me. and if this is the way he was going about it, then he is going to win. I try had not to break, but I am breaking bad. Its only a matter of time.
I did remember my third month here, and the next two that followed. The food stop coming… for a whole week, I lived on the salty water from the shower.
Then dehydration set in, taking control of my frail body, draining it to the point where I thought I wouldn't make it.
I couldn't move, I felt so exhausted. There was nothing like day or night anymore. It all felt the same. I drift between lucidity and prolong sleeps within sleeps in nearness to death.
It was around this times, they will come and help me. save my life, feed me well, got me rejuvenated, then the whole cycle begins.
The man was trying to play god, he wanted to show me the graces he was talking about after he did kill ziggy and felix.
One other thing was very clear. There is a world in the ship outside this cell. There are ongoing fighting tournaments in the ship, and I guess this is what Felix was talking about.
What a game this man is playing with my life. Took a whole year from me, arm and disarm me. create panic and hope. Playing with my most subtler emotions.
I could smell death lingering close by. I had always thought I conquered hat fear, but until you are tested you never no it's there. no living creature can conquered this fear.
And this crafty man had succeeded in frightening me to the extreme end of fear. You cant shake it off, its just there, palpable, it has become the realest thing in my current predicament. When is it going to be? when a shall I die?
*****†***†***†***†*******
I think about everyone I had ever encountered in my whole life…. My parents and the pain of loosing them, grandma Makilla and her rich life of blissfulness that thought me most of things I know.
And what I have been fighting for all my life. A company on the verge of liquidation, Wodmax. The calling that gave me focus and direction to be better, to strive to the very top.
I did choose to study business and majored in accounting all in the hopes of knowing the nitty gritty of the corporate world.
How to run a company and kept it rolling on as a going concern? It is the silent promise I made my old man.
Perhaps, I should've walked away when I created DedRox and focus my energies in running it. but I couldn't, because i spent my whole life fighting my fathers battle, instead of creating my own legacy.
I now understand grandma mikilla when she said…. "your momma and papa are the yesterday flames, and you are todays flame. How to keep this flame burning is a power only you can control my boy….?."
It has all become a fairy tale now. nothing had turned out the way I did plan it, destiny had turned its own cause, and my life had gathered it own fair share of life, muddling and sticky life, it makes its mark on you, bend you to its will, and write you off when it needs you no more.
I have a lot of time at my disposal to reminisce about these things in greatest detail in the last twenty years. Its been an illusion up to now.
life will go on without me on the outside. When I die, the fishes in this water will have just another dinner, no fuss about that.
Only one thing had felt real, ludy or Ruby. What do I care, the fact is that she was a woman, one of a kind.
She has also become a dream, my dream, I can still taste and feel it, her essence, passion and love.
Yes love. she did love in a way that sufficed her definition of love, and so powerdul was this love, I had to succumb and let it embrace me.
And how it did crash my protective walls, how it did crack me open from my hard shells, living only my seed in it rich soil from within which erupts my flower of love to her, this one woman.
How many times she did asked me, "tell me what you feel about me spooky?" oh, how I dreaded this question.
What did she expect me to say? Maybe she expected me to say this;
That I could write endless poetry of love in the skies but the words couldn't exhaust the endless space of my feeling for here.
And here comes Diana. I did wanted her too. I can't hide anything from myself now can I? I remembered her hard slap on my face at her pool house by the sea that faithful night we shared a bed.
thinking about the agony of the slap still had the power to turn me on, bizarre as it may seem.
If Ruby is my soul mate, then Diana must be earth mate, or maybe; I am just greedy, and that I will not doubt myself, not in the slightest.
My problem with the feminine is a baffling one; a confusing simple truth that says "I love the feminine, the woman, any woman."
But if I ever go back, if there is really such a chance for me to go back, Ruby will be the only woman I did choose.
I heard approaching footsteps; and The sound of a key turning in the solid iron gate as the door shriek on turning corrosive hinges.
the warm collective smell of underground life rushed into the cell.
In the door way stood a tall imposing figure in sports slacks.
"you are up spooky, get dressed, you are in level one, no rules, fight to win," he said and toss some cloths on the bed and before walking out.