"Ladies and gentlemen," Irwin clapped his hands together, interrupting the hunters strewn across his lawn. "Earlier this week, I was assured that a few hunters would be coming by and talking to me about my, uh, idea. I didn't know a few would turn into a dozen and that dozen would bring almost a hundred hunters into our home. That was my fault, actually, that I fail to recognize how truly bonded and… tight-knit this community is."
He spread his hands and pointed to the table being set up behind him, whereupon Garth stacked a crate of assorted potions and other paraphernalia Irwin had bought a day earlier.
Each and every item within the table was a magnificent resource on their own, capable of discreetly bombing structures or healing minor wounds. Irwin had even found a malleable rubber sheet that could be made into rubber bullet slugs that ejects a spirit out of a possessed person.
"The Protectorate, a placeholder and to be renamed at a later date, is here to… ensure the safety of its members. Think of it as a union of hunters, making sure you can sleep in a bed without bed bugs or eat a meal without worrying whether or not you could pay for it. This is not about being a governing structure that erases your freedom, no. This is about me and my people, accruing the responsibility of humanity's safety. Without you out there, there would be demons and ghosts and other monsters carrying out a genocide of the human race and, frankly, it is a thankless job."
Seeing a few of the hunters nodding along with his words, Irwin burst forth with much vigor. "So long as you sign a magical contract forbidding you from associating with monsters or criminal hunters, and from disclosing the information or resources we give you, then what you see behind you… can be yours for free!"
Once the word "free" was uttered, utter pandemonium erupted out of the party. Hunters left and right waded through the throng of BO and halitosis as they reached out for the goodies on the long table.
He knew that addressing them would be not without its difficulties, but he didn't expect them to be this… ghoulish when presented with mystical items whose nature was unknown to them.
He didn't fault them for their excitement, however, as he, too, was in their place–lesser, even–when he first came in contact with his abilities. Although he didn't exactly feed an unknown yellow liquid to his eldest child like the female hunter in front of him.
"Uh, ma'am, that's gonna make him hyper–Oh, there he goes!" Irwin resisted the urge to palm his face as the kid zoomed through the lawn with unbridled energy.
While half the hunters were fishing around the table, the other half–the more inquisitive and cautious ones–mostly old hunters, bound him and Archibald in questions regarding the authenticity of his words.
It didn't sit well with most of them that Irwin was basically asking them to be employees and paid under the table, having viewed their hunting duty as a form of freedom and giving in to Irwin's demand to be a shackle to said freedom.
Irwin reckoned that it was a good thing that he kept it a secret that he would be tracking them through the smartphone devices they would receive upon signing the contract or they might have begun a shoot-out.
It took an hour for the hunter's persistent dogging to be through, leaving Irwin and Archibald pale and out of breath. Even with Irwin's enhanced stamina, his social battery was through the moment he introduced the idea of giving out smartphones for easier communication.
It didn't sit well with them how easily trackable they were, especially with the NSA supposedly using those phones as a listening device. While Archibald did tell Irwin that it was possible and he had experience with governments doing that to landlines, half of their concerns were basically conspiracy theories that would leave QAnon supporters to shame.
With a moment's respite to themselves, Irwin decided to change his plans.
"You're right. We only need the top-shelves, people who can say something without being punched in the face or can take a punch in the face." Irwin expounded on his thoughts. "Do we–"
"I'll set up motels for the members and others; comped meals, of course. That will certainly intubate the interest in your idea and bring in more good feelings about you."
"God, I lack that, don't I?" Irwin groaned as he felt the crusty side-eyes from some of the hunters. "I both don't get it and understand their feelings."
"And that's what frustrates you." Irwin nodded as Archibald exhaled to the tune of his son's frustration, "Wish I could help you, son–Oh, wait. I actually can!"
Archibald's chortled response piqued Irwin's interest as he asked, "Really?"
The old man rubbed his hands like a Bond villain or a mosquito as he looked on. "I've been ingratiating myself here and there. Besides, with your Uncle Wallace's habits, I've known about half of the old geezers here before you got puberty."
"Right. Wallace." Irwin shook his head. "You think they're hesitant because we used to be full of werewolves?"
"That may be part of it. Hunters… they're a superstitious bunch. Which, in their line of work, words really well, but, yes, that is part of our past and, unfortunately, we cannot run from it." Archibald sounded almost guilty when he said those words, an emotion Irwin thought he shouldn't be feeling.
If anything, Archibald should be proud that he killed his brother to save his family. Not overly proud since it sucked that he had to kill his brother to save his family, but proud nonetheless.
Irwin clapped the old man in the back. "How about you help me with the task, huh? Little father and fake son bonding?"
Archibald showed off his teeth, "Why the hell not? Let's start with the big one…"
●●●●●
"Toni Collete. Born in Canada since his parents' can't afford premium healthcare and his mom was still Canadian at that point. He's one of the few hunters who actually has a life outside of killing monsters."
Standing at six-foot-tall, the brown-skinned, bald man crushed a can of Dr. Salty–this world's version of the eponymous-condiment soda–on his head, much to the amusement of a couple of middle-aged women swooning around him.
"Turner told me that he's the only hunter in the world to ever kill a vampire and werewolf couple in a single night."
"Couple? Like…"
"Romantically involved! The couple adopted seven consecutive children for them to raise for a few months before eating in a feast, the only time they ate humans."
"How'd he found out about them?"
"His wife, Marry Anne, a long-time Cleveland resident, was a social worker and found a series of undisclosed, cold cases of missing state children."
"Wow. Anything we can leverage?"
"Unlike other hunters, he has three kids and is very much a law-abiding citizen. At day, that is. At night, he goes out and hunts monsters around their area. I checked earlier with LA. His eldest son is on his way to a state-funded college somewhere in Cincinnati. Got rejected from his dream school and his backup, poor lad."
Irwin smiled as he strode past the patch of lawn littered with beer bottles and greeted the man, "Welcome to the manor, Mr. Colette."
Toni went ahead and shook Irwin's hand with a vise grip as Archibald continued, "I heard a lot about you from a mutual friend of ours. Would you like to join us for dinner? I'm sure we can tell you about our newly opened Greythorne Hall in UPenn."
●●●●●
"Next up is quite a legend in your ranks, or so they say, he's name–"
"I know this one, Archie." Irwin stepped forward for a handshake. "Asa Fox, as I live and breathe. Nice to meet you, sir!"
The fully bearded legend regarded Irwin with a hint of doubt, but nevertheless shook his hands. "Nice to meet you, too. I didn't think you would recognize me."
Irwin laughed aloud, "Who wouldn't? It's an honor to meet you. You know… not to brag, but last week, I killed three Wendigos in a single night!"
A series of groans rang around the hunters near Asa as they took a shot of their drinks, much to Asa's delight.
"Well, that's a fine achievement, but, uh, still couldn't beat me!" He tapped Irwin's shoulder playfully. "Now, what do I owe the pleasure?"
"Greythornes, friend of Bobby and the Winchesters."
Asa's eyes widened for a moment. "Winchester? John or…"
"Mary Winchester. I think she went by Campbell when you met her." Irwin smiled, noticing the peculiar emotion in Asa's eyes. "Listen, I'm sure you've heard a few stories about her and her family, but Archibald over there actually met her once."
"Really?" Asa grinned. "You mind telling me some?"
"Sure, why don't we do it over dinner?"
●●●●●
The next hunter was as mafioso as they came, complete with a rancid under shave and a gilded pinky ring that shone brighter than the golden upper molar in his mouth.
If Western Europe had the French Hexer, Virgo, then the west coast had…
"Edward Pengliotti, newly christened soldier of the Seattle Mukaragi. Not that it'll last."
Irwin had to give the man some an inch of approval, given that he was bouncing around criminal organizations without so much as an ounce of magik in him. A real American scumbag, armed only with a sawed-off shotgun and a lucky cross-cum-vampire-stabber.
"I have talked to my friends in Seattle an hour ago and they told me that he's supposedly a weird one. " Before Irwin could ask the reason for his weirdness, Archibald had leaned in. "He fixes things for them discreetly, like any other soldier does . Only that he handles the supernatural stuff. A poltergeist haunts any of the family members or lets a werewolf sniff out cocaine contrabands. That kind of thing."
"That's not weird, Archie."
"No, but he does jobs for free. No payment at all." Archibald got conspiratorial at the last bit, as if he himself was thinking that something was wrong. "I do believe that he's doing something every time he works a job."
"Maybe he causes the job, makes sure he gets in the good graces of the mob." Irwin whistled, both impressed and scared of this world's criminal underworld. "Does that mean the bosses know about the supernatural?"
"Only the old ones. Most of them prefer the supernatural not to interfere in their business, seeing as if every Tom, Dick, and Harry had access to magik… Well, it won't be good for business."
Irwin nodded. "Do we have anything on him?"
"Local Georgian gang are after him after he knocked up their leader's sister and left her for dead in a ditch." Archibald snickered. "And Deputy Mayor's Greene's friends were just informed of his arrival in town."
"Sounds like we don't need him."
Archibald shook his head. "My friend told me that there's a rumor. The sister was possessed by a specter and he was just helping her get rid of it. He failed and, well, he didn't seem to bother to correct their knowledge of it."
"So the Russians mean business, huh?" Fast as a hungry jungle cat catching up to its prey, Irwin swooped in and ensnared Edward with his powerful arm over the latter's shoulder. "I'mma borrow this guy for a minute, huh?"
Irwin stowed his magical energy, causing the nearby hunters to feel a sudden discouragement from acting up. He tightened his grip on the mobsters as he leaned in close.
"Am I supposed to know you, tough guy?" Edward smiled as he asked threateningly. "You don't know–"
"I heard the Russians are after you?" Irwin's words caused Edward to lose his momentum. "I know you're connected and all, but you don't bring that kind of trouble in my fucking town. Do you understand?"
"I don't know–"
Edward tried to placate Irwin, but the Greythorne heir invigorated his magik and sent an undercurrent of energy into the former. "Shut up, I'm talking. They're gonna kill you, Edward, and I'm going to let them. I'm going to give them your head because you disrespected–Oh, hey, Ella."
"God, so many people!" Ella grinned as she passed by them, winking at Irwin while holding a tray of fresh sausage and burger meat. "Who's your friend?"
"Oh, him?" He shook Edward loose for a moment. "Introduce yourself."
"Uh, hey. I'm, uh, Edward, yeah, Edward." Clearly rattled by Irwin's power, Edward was somewhat dour and dull in his response, yet still found it in himself to give Ella a business card. "You have any problems you wanna fix with discretion. Call me and I'll be there."
Ella pursed her lips and looked at Irwin with doubt as she took the card, "Alright. Thanks, I guess."
Irwin waved to Ella as he took Edward past the party and into the little vegetable greenhouse next to the armory. Seeing as they were alone in private, Irwin sent a punch to Edward's gut.
Edward doubled over in pain as Irwin grabbed a handful of his thick, nauseatingly sticky hair. "What the fuck were you thinking, huh?" He asked rhetorically. "You think that being in a town full of hunters would keep you safe? The balls on you. I don't even fuck with the mob, and you set them loose in my home?"
Irwin smashed his shin into Edward's side as the latter tumbled over, chest heaving heavily from the pain.
"I-I'm… sorry." Edward cracked out an apology, pushing his hands towards Irwin in a vain attempt to stop another attack. "I-I didn't know…"
"I don't need that kind of problem, Edward. What's your business shouldn't be my business and it sure as hell shouldn't fucking affect my family." Irwin knelt down and leaned in until he was in Edward's face. "You're gonna bow out of the Mukaragi, and fix every problem you've caused to line your contacts with jobs. Tell them you get cancer or something. I don't care. The next time I see you here, its in your car with everything you will ever need to live."
"W-what?" Edward reached for the nearby flower pots to stand up, but before he could, a foot stomped his chest. Pain surged within him, radiating in his chest and undulating past the rest of his torso.
"That's right. You work for me now!"