"Aren't you going to attack?" Irwin asked, nonchalantly sweeping his eyes over to his side until he found a rubble big enough to sit on.
He rested his aching legs on the fallen pillars without taking his eyes off the retinue of pagan gods before him. A peaceful smile was still on his face as the same bony creatures crawled out of the central ritual pillars and began to surround him.
Mamu clicked her tongue. "I thought you'd put up more of a fight."
"Because I did my homework about you guys." Irwin leaned back, "Well, not me, but a friend of mine did. He told me all about you and your band of misfits."
The tall, burly man with the regal headdress scoffed at Irwin's laid-back attitude as he strode forward ahead of the others. "Let us off with this fool and begin the ceremony. Our vengeance must be sated within this week."
"No!" Ninsar roared, causing the burly man to stop in his tracks. The two locked eyes and, for a moment, Irwin thought he would have a civil war on his hands. Unfortunately, Mamu and the man's other half took control of the situation.
Irwin rubbed his chest as they conversed quietly, vigorously reprimanding the two not to show weakness in front of the enemy; But Irwin knew that this was what would happen to pagan gods who had succumbed to their natural instinct.
The need and want to consume human flesh to save them from the hunger of being bereft of worship had mutated these man-made beings into monsters. It sickened Irwin to see them argue about the way with which they would eat him, but at the same time, it gave him faith that his plan would work.
He wasn't just here to see them off one last time before he blew them up. No, that was merely a precaution in case the plan went south.
His actual plan was to recruit a pagan god and add another powerhouse to his employ; that will give him another card to play and, plus side, Brunhilde wouldn't be so lonely in the castle in Austria.
Irwin yawned at their display of nonchalance as he asked, "Are you done? I haven't slept a wink yet."
Mamu stepped forward, having been chosen as the representative for the group. "You know, I have to applaud you for all the chaos you have done these past few days. Truly, a remarkable witch worthy of being served upon the platters of our kin."
"Aw. Thank you." Irwin clapped his hands together and bowed gratefully. "I couldn't have done it without Suzianna and her majesty, of course, nevertheless, it's nice to give me credit where credit is due."
There was a twitch in the regal man's head as gave a slight look at his other half. Mamu, however, kept a gentle smile on their face.
"I see. Well, thank the Great Matron that we have… captured the rat within our den." They snapped their fingers and light poured through the ceiling, illuminating the center of the ritual circle.
Tied up in the central pillar was a naked and bloodied Suzianna, the same metal stakes in the same position embedded into her torso. What was different, however, were the four streams of opaque-red energy emitting out of the butt-end of the metal spikes that traveled down into another figure.
Irwin had seen the old woman before in the master bedroom. According to Suzianna, she was a demigod born out of the fractured spirit of Nintur's champion and was a pain in the ass to deal with.
The slowly spinning concentric circles below her undulated with an effervescent crimson light as the Kesh ritual slowly took place.
"So, you've started the ritual and with a sub-par vessel, it seems." Irwin's voice took a harder edge yet forced himself to calm; He was still within control of the scenario.
"Yes and, by the looks of our dearest sister, you've just come at the right time to replace her." Irwin clenched his butt cheeks as Mamu drew closer before the deity leaned back and gave out a thoughtful look. "I must say though, it would be a shame just to kill you so… easily."
"You're playing with the food, sister." Ninsar spat venomously as she rushed forward, wielding bloody butcher knives in both hands.
Irwin narrowed his eyes and tracked Ninsar's movement yet dared not move in his place, waiting for a bell ring that should have arrived seconds before. Mamu's face flared with condemnation as Ninsar passed by them, her feet digging deep into the floor as she waved her knives towards her target.
A familiar buzz halted her footsteps just as her butcher knives touched the flesh on Irwin's cheeks. Blood trailed down into his jaw as Irwin locked eyes with Ninsar.
"Oops. I have a text." He said mirthfully. "Mind If I take it before you kill me?"
Ninsar nodded, rabid eyes undulating to the tune of Irwin's racing heartbeat. Irwin took out his smartphone and read the message Agent Hawley gave him, assuring him that the bag had been retrieved and placed.
A smile grew in his face as another ding rang across the chamber and the elevator doors slowly opened up. "Oh, what's that inside of the elevator? A suspicious bag in the center of the floor with no other occupants in it? My, how intriguing?"
"Back away, sister." Mamu narrowed their eyes. "He's enacting his Plan E."
Ninsar withdrew and sheathed her weapon just as fast as she had drawn them from her bandoleer, wariness flashing across her eyes. Four of the bony pillar monsters crawled swiftly towards the elevator and scrutinized every inch of its chambers but one, the immediate area surrounding the suspicious bag.
One of the bony monsters crawled above the bag and embedded its clawed foot in the ceiling before towing its heavy, puss-riddled snout on the zippers of the bag, sniffing intensely every few seconds. The four seemed to converse with one another, growling and mewling alike, before one of them retreated towards Mamu and growling an indescribable message.
Mamu turned towards Irwin and, for the first time since they met, they showed a frustrated frown. "What is inside the bag? The Annuki couldn't even describe the power hiding within that container."
"C'mon, Mamu. I told you… no one survives Plan E." Irwin chortled, delighted that the agent had come through.
If he was being perfectly honest, he could have and should have just made Garth or Scott do the drop, but having a federal agent do a bad deed in the name of money had been surprisingly funny to him.
'Oh, why don't I do it with Agent Henderson? He seems like the strict lawman type. Bet it'll feel nice to have him be conflicted in his need to serve justice and the idea of monsters running around wantonly. God, no. That's too much.'
He shook his head free of his thoughts as he cleared his throat. "Sorry. I wasn't listening to you all yap about. What were you saying?"
"What do you want?" Mamu was clearly terrified of the bag, seeing as they were willing to tone down their hostility. "Clearly, you are here for a purpose and I know it isn't to save our dear sister."
"Oh, no. Fuck her." Irwin stood up and wiped the blood away from the already healed flesh wound. "I'm here to offer the god a part in the oncoming war between Heaven and Hell."
The regal man scoffed, "Why–"
"Silence." Irwin shushed the man with a Command. He was surprised that it worked on a pagan god, seeing as it halted the man's words and actions. Still, he kept focus on his speech.
"Before you get preachy, you know full well that you won't survive the wrath of the whole Host of Heaven and the wiles of the Demon Princes–Fuck, you'd be massacred if the Archangels ever get their hands on you. They've lived longer than you, more powerful than you. And no matter how many times you purport to be "gods", we all know that there is only one true God and he… boy, the old testament downplayed all the shit he's done to humans."
The regal god tilted his head. "And you are offering a way to save us from destruction? What makes you think we will participate in the war in the first place?"
"Uh, because the other pantheons are going to... eventually, I mean. I've seen it before" Irwin answered, as if the question was a dumb one. "The Aesirs, the Olympians, and the Enneads are already jumpy from the sudden increase in demonic and angelic activity. Hell, one of my people, an Exile, got offered to rejoin a pantheon to bolster their ranks and they're not even thinking of joining the war."
His words made them pause as Mamu gazed at Ninsar with a conflicted look. Mamu sighed and nodded at the regal man.
"This is your domain, Marduk. We will defer to your judgment." They said,
"Thank you, sister." Marduk took off his ceremonial headdress and locked eyes with Irwin. "The Great Matron's revival will usher in an era of glory and we will be there to support her cause. Your arguments may be sound–"
Irwin scoffed, interrupting Marduk. "C'mon. Nintur's been dead for centuries and she would want to spread her wings and let everybody know she's back. Who do you think she will hit to spread her infamy, huh? The barely alive Assyrians? The Asuras who are locked in a war against the Sabbah, the Immortal and his caliphate sect? Oh, what about the dragons? I hear they've been making rounds up north."
Marduk stomped his feet into the ground, causing a gust of wind to stop Irwin in his tracks. Thin black lines crawled out of Marduk's sandals and dove into the concrete, infecting the very ground with undulating tendrils of green puss.
"Do not mock us, human." Marduk growled, "You're only alive because of your knowledge of the world's inner workings."
"No, Marduk." Irwin shook his head. "Only God can kill me and, believe me, you're just not it."