Thrudgelmir stood on his own two feet, a soft smile on his face. He had thought far more intensely than his two companions, on that he was sure.
The Sons of Borr have killed his father, Ymir. For centuries, revenge was but the only thing in his mind and heart.
Frankly, his nature was to follow what path had leadeth him to the forest of truth. To be free of regret, instinct was his wayfarer and pathfinder.
But the moment he had gained his revenge–bisecting Ville at his seams in front of his twin brother–a harkness of doubt and emptiness had filled his very soul.
That was why he left the realms above. Well, that and Odin had been filled with anger when he had found his brother dead.
Instead, settling south of the world, honing his alchemical skills and filling the gap within his soul with booze, companionship, and pears.
As such, when given the opportunity to be granted a wish, Thrudgelmir thought of his son who, at the time of his retreat, was repopulating their quickly thinning race.
His smile turned brighter as he turned to Irwin, full of melancholy and fatherly love.
He opened his mouth.
●●●●●
"I wish upon the lone morning star…" Thrudgelmir began singing a hymn. "...dive upon your bag of tricks and purse of repertoire… A gift for my only born, my son and his newly born… a mantle, a crown, or even a boot with which he can adorn… an artifact to help patch all his sorrow… and help him repopulate our race so that our kin can see tomorrow!"
"Uh, yeah, sure." Irwin pursed his lips.
"Long words for requesting marital aid." Hilde snickered behind his back, earning a grunt from Thrudgelmir.
"I am not, you harlot!" The giant defended himself. "Cease your mouth quivering lest it turn scarlet."
Hilde's eyes widened, aghast by his words. Just as she was about to retort, Hephaestus clapped his hands together.
"Enough." He turned towards Irwin. "Can you do as he asked?"
"Uh, let me check." Irwin resisted the urge to scratch the back of his neck as he surfed the lists of artifacts and consumables.
If he was reading the giant right, then he might have been asking for something that will help him soon bear more children or something to that effect, but affecting the entire race.
Such an artifact was surely worth more than what he had as of this moment, but he would cross that bridge when he got there. All he had to do first was to find it and, since he did not have the search function anymore, manual surfing of the categories would surely take time.
"Give me a sec, guys." He said nonchalantly, sitting down on the cot.
"Ah, alright."
"Take your time."
"I need to fill my stomach."
Time ticked by as Irwin exhausted himself upon his Trade Store. Its novelty quickly wore out as he skimmed list after list, item after item, and spell after spell.
What he browsed with fun yesterday had now become a chore done to satisfy the superlative.
Finally, after a long time, Irwin stood from his seat and gained the attention of the trio. Having been bored with waiting, they had decided to play a game of cards which, by the large pot by Hilde's side, was overwhelmingly one sided.
"I, uh, god, I found a few." He said, rubbing his eyes out. For once, he was not that grateful at having back his sight. "It's gonna cost a lot, but it's, uh, it's effective at what it does."
"Cost? It has a price?" Hephaestus asked.
Irwin showed a sad smile. "Uh, unfortunately, it does. All five options cost a lot of… energy. Usually, I get this energy from monster corpses or, actually, anything of great mystical or sentimental value. Think of it as, like, transforming one form of energy into another and transforming that into resources that will build the item and teleport it into my hands."
"Quite… simplistic." Hephaestus, god of metallurgy and craftsmanship, might have expected a more complex explanation to his abilities, but frankly, Irwin pulled that explanation out of his ass when he noticed how long he had been staring into the air.
They would have questions, of course, but from what he had guessed, they were still reeling from the fact that he was a living Hand of God and had subsequently removed that dangerous power from within him.
To them, he was a mysterious figure, and he would rather have it that way.
"Well, what are my options?" The bearer of the quest asked.
Irwin held up a hand and enumerated.
"First, we have the Cup of Dynasty. A cursed artifact, much like Hilde's belt. It is a gilded waistband with support for the genitals. Once worn by a ruler or someone who leads more than a hundred people, their subjects and their kin will enjoy an age of fertility.
I suspect that there will be a boom in the population in the next hundred years. The downside, of course, is that the ruler, or the wearer of the cup, cannot remove the artifact until the day they die. It also affects the virility and sexual desires of anyone within the immediate family of the ruler."
He breathed out, explaining the artifact and stating its designs and flaws. It was quite peculiar to see the intermittent expression on Thrudgelmir's face as he grappled with the fact that the cup will repopulate his race, but kill any hopes of prolonging his lineage.
"Not that one!" The giant roared almost immediately. Such a callous disregard for the limits of his form caused four bulb-like buttons to appear on his shoulder.
His roar, however, had far more disastrous consequences as the mere echoes doused the fire from the central forge, blanketing the thatched hut with darkness.
"Gelmir!" Roared Hephaestus, showing an astonishing amount of restraint. "Sit the fuck back down, fool!"
The god pushed the giant-kin back to his seat, huffing away as he sauntered over the forge.
He then began the special process to light up the forge before turning towards Irwin and saying, "Don't mind me. Continue."
"Alright." Irwin's eyes quickly adjusted to the dim light as he walked forward, closer to the other two. "If you don't like that, then we shall head to the second item."
"Unlike the first one, this item is a consumable; meaning that it can only be consumed once, losing its effect after, but, in exchange, its effect is much more pronounced, potent, and, in most cases, particularly efficient."
"Oh, like handheld cannons!" Hilde remarked.
Irwin pointed towards her with a grin. "Exactly. Anyway, this item is called the Will Of Lomasa. A potion with five drops. Each drop is a powerful aphrodisiac to be drunk by a fecund creature. If impregnated within twenty-four hours, it is expected that the creature will be pregnant with at least triplets. The number of babies depends on how much the body of the creature can take."
Thrudgelmir cooed, brushing his beard with a contemplative look. "Any known side-effects?"
Irwin shook his head, "Unfortunately, I only know its effect and creator. Nothing else."
"Should I take it?" Thrudgelmir asked Hilde to the side. He looked tempted by the offer.
"Eh, what's the harm in taking a look at the other three? It's not like you'll get it in this instance." She replied, rolling her eyes as she looked directly at him.
Hephaestus snickered as he lit the forge, illuminating the hut with the ethereal flame.
Seeing as they had agreed upon continuing, Irwin continued on his presentation.
"Third, we have The Phallus. A literal golden dick statue, ornamental and ceremonial in all aspects, but one. It is said to have the ability to impregnate one woman per day, on the basis that it is fed carnal pleasure daily."
"Maybe you should trade your belt for that Hilde!" Thrudgelmir japed, earning a weird look from Irwin, an irate glare from Hilde, and an exasperated sigh from Hephaestus. "You might–what? It's a joke, you child!"
Irwin certainly did not expect such misogyny from Thrudgelmir, but, as he thought that Jotnars like him were literal personifications of natural forces, was not surprised he would make one.
"Don't do that again." He warned, quite forcefully. "Anyway, I think if you pick this, your people will have to copulate in front of the statue. That way, it gets to feed and the couple will have their baby."
"How does it choose?" Hilde asked.
Irwin sucked in his teeth, "I don't have that info. Although it does say that the range is about three hundred meters."
"Oh, that's a lot. Your son could put that in the middle of a temple." Hephaestus suggested being more than familiar with statues of that kind.
Thrudgelmir shrugged his heavy shoulders. "We are an unruly bunch. If implemented, the plan will probably fail before lunch."
"Alright, then let's see the fourth item. Much like the first one, this is an artifact that not only increases fertility within the denizens of its boundaries but also blesses the births with good fortune and great health."
"What's the catch?" Hilde asked. Her interest in the pseudo-auction grew greater than Irwin anticipated.
Irwin smiled awkwardly. "It's an artifact used to be owned by Freja and is as expensive as all the other four items combined."
A series of winces, laughter, and growls were soon heard echoing the thatched hut. It took a full minute before the trio came back to normality. Some–mostly Hephaestus and Brunhilde–barely able to keep themselves in check.
"Let's go to number five, people." He clapped his hands, earning their attention. " This is a magical spell, actually. A ritual that grants a certain village or state an audience with a fertility goddess. Although I do not know the specific ingredients and offering to be used, it's a bit… I don't suggest this. I don't think the power of a pagan could actually help you a lot since… you know."
"I agree. Even when worships were pouring in, the birth rate of the Jotnar was less than ideal." Thrudgelmir was serious for once. "I have a lot to think about since… this still feels unreal."
"That's alright." Irwin turned his attention towards Hephaestus. "Have you thought about what you wish for me to acquire?"
"No." the pagan god replied with a shake of his head.
"I see. Well, you–"
"I do not have a wish or an item I want you to acquire for me." Hephaestus continued, slapping his legs as he stood up with a stern expression on his face. "I agree with your conditions. The three of us will help you in your pursuit of vengeance, but remember this human, if you ever betray us three, then there is no place in the mortal world where I will not hunt like a dog and flay you alive."
His eyes glowed with a thunderous light; not like lightning in the sky, but more like the light emitted from every strike of a hammer against hot-red metal. It was as if the very air dropped as hard as it could, forming little pockets of vacuum that made it heard to breathe.
They were strong alright. Maybe even strong enough to contend against Dagon.
Irwin gave the pagan god a nod. His face locked with grim determination.
"I understand."