By this time of the day, the evening sky had stretched across the world, painting the land in an array of colors ranging from red, blue, orange, yellow, and purple, with the night sky just over the opposite horizon. A sky that was becoming harder and harder to see past the thick cover of trees, the two men traveled along a rarely-taken path. Through the sparse forest, Bow took Basil to a part of his property that he had yet to explore. Then again, he never really ended up exploring much of his land. And now that he thought of it, he actually had no idea how much land he owned.
When they finally broke through to their destination, Basil laid his eyes on a river that, no doubt, came from the nearby swamp and trickled down into a small lake surrounded by old willow trees and thick reeds. Frogs could be heard calling out to one another on the many lilypads that dotted and decorated the surface of the lake. A path of stones in the lake leads out into a large boulder at the very center, where Bow happily skipped across while Ball hopped alongside him.
Meanwhile, Basil was finding it very hard to keep pace with the much more spry boy as he was nearly slipping and falling off every rock he would try to hop or extend his leg towards! Bow made this look way too easy. Had he gotten old again, or was he just too tired from training and self-destructing over and over again? Or maybe he really didn't have any self-confidence like the boy had told him. Bow looked so at ease and in peace with himself, and yet...here he was.
Just as he was about to reach the boulder at the lake's center, he took a leap of faith, slipped on the slick stone, and felt himself falling towards the water! However, he never hit the cold lake as Bow's shepherd hook was quickly thrown around his waist, and he was pulled onto the large and semi-flat stone. After swallowing his heart back into his chest and thanking the smiling boy, they all sat at the very center of the large stone, where Bow sat with his legs crossed, and Basil sat on his knees.
With his eyes closed, shepherd hook on his back, arms out, head up, and Ball lying at his side, Bow said to Basil, "Step one to faith training is to relax. Unwind. Open your mind. Let all the thoughts in your head escape and fill it with nothing."
Basil gave it no thought, so he closed his eyes and tried to relax; a task he found much more challenging than he expected. No matter how much he attempted to settle his restless body and mind cooking with thoughts, he just couldn't feel still. Eventually, he gave up, and with a groan, he complained, "Relaxing is harder than I thought."
"You're very wound up. You just have too much on your mind.", Bow told him in an understanding tone.
"You don't know the half of it.", Basil huffed a sigh of aggravation with a hand under his chin.
"Let's try a different approach. Perhaps you are pent up and need to relieve your stress by expressing your emotions.", Bow offered, making the man look up at him where he was instructed, "Now close your eyes, relax your body, and allow all the thoughts and feelings that make you feel sad, mad, and stressed flow right out of you."
Basil again tried to follow the boy's advice and closed his eyes while thinking about everything that made him feel bad. First, it started with his general stress over running and operating the business. Then came his thoughts on obtaining ingredients. Then he thought about providing sweets for the town. Then, the looming threat of the dragon! Then, his past life! His children! His wife! His parents! HIS WHOLE SHITTY FIRST LIFE! ALL THE ANGER, PAIN, SADNESS, AND STRESS IT CAUSED HIM!
Every horrible thing that was done to him by everyone in his life, and the desire for things to be different in this one, but never actually getting that! All of it! ALL OF IT! Causing a swirling torrent of memories and emotions, he had long since hidden away, all coming to the surface and suffocating him again! He was sweating, crying, grunting, and twitching like a person with schizophrenia as he sat on the rock until it all came to a boiling point where his eyes snapped open, and he ran to the edge of the rock to vomit into the lake!
Bow was surprised by this but crawled over and placed a hand on the man's back, rubbing soothing circles as he continued to gasp for air between puking! Once the man seemed to calm down a bit and just lay on the rock while breathing heavily, he said to him, "That was…certainly a reaction."
"I'm sorry, it was just too much for me!", Basil apologized, looking back at him with tears and an embarrassed red look on his face.
"It's okay. These things happen…sometimes.", Bow assured him while petting his head like a guilty dog. "You must have more than a lot on your mind but also a deep past with heavy baggage.", Bow thought to himself.
Basil, who heard his contemplation, replied while wiping his mouth, "Understatement of the year."
"Okay, let's take it in steps.", Bow told him while clapping his hands. After Basil washed his mouth, the two boys took their sitting spots, and Bow instructed him, "Now, do what I told you before, but this time, focus on those thoughts and emotions individually."
Basil was more than hesitant after the first episode, but not wanting to cast a spell in his sleep and explode his whole house, he listened to him and shut his eyes. Right after he did this, he entered a dark world that was quickly filled with the memories of his past. But the memories were not swallowing him up this time. Instead, they were far far away and projected the emotions tied to them, causing immediate discomfort in the man.
Suddenly, he heard the voice of Bow outside his mind and asked him, "Now tell me, what do you feel?"
Basil stammered a bit, flinching at the pain of each emotion as he answered, "Bad."
"Be more specific.", Bow prompted him.
The emotions began swirling around him, biting, pinching, and prodding at him like a swarm of ravenous bugs! Feeling them over his brain and body at the same time! So he answered honestly, "I…feel…sad, and mad, and other things. It makes me want to cry. To puke. To scream!", Basil slowly began to lose control of his senses as he quickly began to spiral into another breakdown.
Suddenly, he was shaken out of his mind when he saw a worried-looking Bow holding his shoulders. The boy let him go when the man's eye snapped back open and sat back while staring at him in concern. Basil's face was red again, his eyes streaming with tears while his body shivered. Bow had managed to catch him before he divulged once more.
Once Basil had calmed himself down after several minutes of deep breathing, Bow told him, "Okay okay let's dial it back a bit. Now, I want you to look into your mind of minds. Look inward and tell me what you see."
Basil took a deep breath to steady and prepared himself, closed his eyes, and sank again into his mind. There, he appears again in the dark void where he doesn't see any of his memories or feel the emotions. Instead, he saw a small light at the end of a tunnel. Moving towards the light, he saw a strange type of flower he had never seen before, planted into the ground.
"I see…a flower. What is it?", Basil asked, unaware that he was saying this outside his mind just as much as inside.
"It's you; this is how you see yourself. Now what else do you see?", Bow's voice prompted and asked him.
Looking at the flower, Basil saw his memories and emotions all swarming around the flower like flies on a rotting carcass! A maddening swirl of color and sounds that merged into even more that he couldn't describe in words! As he watched the horror unfold in front of him, he told aloud, "I see…and feel…all my memories and emotions connected to them. They're attacking the flower. Making it sick and dying. It doesn't even look like a flower.", Basil could feel the emotion begin to crawl towards him like many spiders and snakes. He was watching as the memories began to leave the rotten pile that was once a flower and start making their way towards him, making him sweat in fear and anxiety. "I want to make it stop!", he shouted as he began to back away from the oncoming memories.
"Why though?", Bow casually and calmly inquired over the slowly growing storm of sounds and colors.
"Because…because…because.", Basil stammered out, trying to back away, only to fall to his butt and curl up into a ball.
"Go on.", Bow lightly prompted him.
"It's bad.", Basil finally found the words as the memories flooded back around and into him, once again pinching and biting like many bugs.
"What is?", Bow's gentle voice once again asked him through the insanity.
"The feelings. I don't want to feel them. They remind me of the past…and the present.", Basil continued.
"No no no. These feelings aren't bad. Not bad at all.", Bow assured him.
"But I'm not supposed to feel them!", Basil yelled as the memories closed around him, slowly drowning out the sound of his own voice.
When he thought he would be swallowed up for good, Bow's soft and kind voice cut through the maelstrom like a hot knife through butter as he told him, "But you can. You should. You should allow yourself to scream and rage when you're mad. You should cry bitterly when you're sad. You should just lie down and do nothing when you're stressed. These are normal feelings, and they shouldn't be contained."
With every word that Bow spoke, Basil felt something resonate in himself. These words he'd never heard before in his life, and he knew they were true. Replaying these words in his mind caused the emotions to back away and swirl around him at a healthy distance, but never leaving. Basil finally looked up from his ball and saw what was happening, surprised to be at the eye of the storm, so to speak.
"You can feel it and see it, right? It's like a wild storm.", Bow's voice asked him.
"It is.", Basil confirmed. "How do I make it stop? How do I make it go away!?", Basil feverishly asked at seeing the memories try and get closer.
"You can't. It doesn't go away. It's something you keep with you all your life.", Bow told him, making a hard shiver and feeling of dread and hopelessness wash over him until the boy followed up saying, "But! Do you let it control your life? That's the question you must ask."
Looking around himself with quick eye dartings and head turns, he asked again, "But how do I do all of it? Should I control it or let it loose? It sounds like a bunch of contradictions."
Then Bow spoke once more, and all of Basil's anxiety was put at ease when the boy explained, "It's all about balance. Balancing the good with the bad. The expression with the control. The thought and the feeling.", Basil looked out over the storm before him and watched as it all slowed down bit by bit until he came to a crawl. "These thoughts and feelings have affected you but don't define you. You are not your past. You are a gift of the now. That's why it's called the present.", Bow told him as the area was now filled with soft glowing light, causing the emotions to freeze in position. "Now, choose which emotions and memories to express and which to control.", Bow instructed him.
Basil rose to his feet, walking towards the emotions floating in the air, and began to reach a hand out towards one. But he quickly brought it back as self-doubt filled him once more, and he asked, "It's so hard. There's so many!"
"Then take your time.", was all Bow told him before his voice went silent, leaving only the man and his thoughts to sort out.
Basil took a deep breath to center and ready himself for what would come. And with determination in his heart, he set out into the sheer mass of memories. He took the ones that hurt him the most, the ones that he couldn't process with, and locked them away. He let the ones that didn't do much stay. Even still, after all his work, he looked back to see memories and the emotions tied to them from his far past and current present clustered around his head space. Slowly floating about in the soft glow of the light around him. It still hurts to have these memories, these worries, still lingering inside of him. But he felt like he could handle it. At least these ones. At least….for now.
"I think I did it.", Basil called out to Bow.
"Good. Now what do you see in your mind of minds?", Bow inquired.
Moving to where the flower once stood, now a black pile of sludge of its former self, he described, "I see the flower again…but it's dead and gone. But there's something else.", he followed up upon seeing something peek out from under the sludge. Moving it aside, he observed aloud, "A sprout. A tiny sprout. What does it mean?"
"It means you're in the process of becoming something new. Something better than before. But with time and care, you'll be something and someone else.", Bow informed him, making a ping of hope spread through his chest, causing the area around him to grow a little brighter. "Now open your eyes.", Bow's voice called to him.
Basil finally reopened his eyes to the real world once more and noticed how it was very late into the night and that he was holding onto Ball like some kind of life support! Looking at the animal's wool, he noticed how it looked like he had been grabbing and pulling at it from various angles and directions. He must've been squirming around in his mind, causing his body to react. But why did Ball come over and offer its soft and calming wool for him to pull and pinch with all his might during his episode?
Then he remembered how empathic animals were and must've come over when he was distressed. For that, he was extremely grateful. He also noticed how his hands were covered in scabbed-over cuts in his fingers and palms. He must've been digging into himself during the first half of his episode before Ball came in and offered himself. He even saw dried blood stains on the strange sheep's wool.
He also felt like he had run about 20 marathons at once! He was covered and drenched in his own sweat, eyes red and puffy from crying. Nose dripping and throat dry from mouth breathing. He had really been put through the emotional ringer. He was just glad it was all over. However, he couldn't help but feel an overwhelming sense of relief.
"How do you feel?", Bow asked, allowing Basil to collect his bearings.
"Lots of things.", Basil said in a small and dry voice.
"But how do you feel here?", Bow prompted, pointing at his chest.
Putting a hand over his soggy clothing and touching his heart, he answered, "Lighter? And like….I can? Whatever that means."
"Now try your magic again.", Bow suddenly said in excitement.
Surprised and taken aback by the sudden request but not wanting to deny the pure and honest excitement in the face of the boy before him, Basil obliged begrudgingly. So he decided to use Fire Bolt again, and this time, he held out his arm as far as he could while shutting his eyes tight and turning his head away. Upon calling the magic for the spell, his fingertip glowed with a small light before a small blot of fire and sparks flew from the tip and crashed into the lake! Realizing what had happened and that he wasn't on fire for the thirtieth time, Basil slowly looked at the young boy, practically ready to jump out of his skin!
"It worked.", he whispered.
"It worked!", Bow exclaimed in a shout as he hugged the man.
Returning the gesture back, Basil said to him, "Thank you, Bow."
Pulling away from him, Bow informed the man, "Of course. But like I said. You still need time and care. And the more you work on yourself, the more faith you'll have."
"Well, I'll be damned to the nine rings of hell! You didn't explode this time.", the voice of Hagson said from behind.
Quickly jumping to his shaky legs and turning around, Basil was surprised to see his two magic teachers standing behind him and…on the water's surface. Hagson stood on a small ice sheet while Gossamer casually walked atop the still water like Jesus. Basil really should be used to seeing stuff like this, but even when he thinks he's seen it all, something new slaps him across the face.
"Excellent job, Basil.", Gossamer congratulated him.
Quickly looking between the two creatures, he asked dumbfoundedly, "How long have you two been there?"
"The whole time.", Hagson answered simply.
"I had faith you'd pull through.", Gossamer tried to reassure him.
Narrowing his eyes at them, Basil demanded in a shout, "Speaking of that. How come you two didn't tell me about this faith stuff!?"
"Because…we didn't…know about it.", Gossamer answered while looking off to the side awkwardly.
"What!? But you've studied magic since you could read!", Basil points a convicting finger at Hagson before pointing another at Gossamer and exclaiming, "And you're practically made of this stuff! So what gives?!"
"Why don't you ask your new druid friend.", Hagson tried to shift the blame after he and Gossamer began to look suspiciously unsure and stressed.
Before Basil could open his mouth to question the boy, Bow answered his question, explaining to him "They already have faith since they were born with or into magic. It's a bit different for monsters."
Everyone stopped and blanked at the boy for several seconds. Wondering how he even knew their conversation, where Hagson asked aloud, "Wait. Could he…understand us the whole time?"
"I would think so; I mean, I can understand you two perfectly.", Basil replied.
"But I'm speaking Sylvan.", Hagson clarified.
"I speak telepathically, and only with you two.", Gossamer also clarified.
Basil slowly turned his gaze back to the boy, only to see his "head empty, no thoughts" expression on his crossed-eyed smiling face, causing a shot of fear and uncertainty to run through him. With a slight shiver, Basil whispered to his friends, "Druids are scary."
"But not too bright.", Gossamer put forth.
Now feeling righteous anger for the boy, he snapped his head to the unicorn and proclaimed, "He just helped me through a big hurdle in my trauma. How is he not wise!?"
Gossamer snorted through his nose and clarified, "I didn't say he wasn't wise; I meant he's not intelligent."
Basil rolled his eyes and rhetorically asked, "Oh please, what's the-.", before he could finish that thought, he turned back to the boy only to witness him standing at the edge of the boulder and picking up a red mushroom with white spots. Staring at it for a moment before popping it into his mouth, chewing it, and suddenly falling on his face with foam coming from his mouth and rolling back his eyes. Basil made an uncomfortable expression at him and finished saying, "Difference?"