The wedding flew by it all went so fast I bid my goodbyes to our last guest Ines who became such a good friend of mine she was the only woman who seemed nice and kind and just like me, the other ones and not to judge seemed too sassy and were so mean not to mention that they flirted a lot with that husband of mine.
Not that I am complaining it just made me disgusted I have never liked men who are flirtatious with a lot of women it's so degrading and desperate.
My heart dropped when I saw Haider and Ines getting out of the big gates in their fancy Barbus I have always dreamed of that car but now everything seems worthless to me in my situation.
A harsh voice made me come back to reality
"Did you just say I love you to another man right in my face on OUR wedding?!"
He tried to stay calm I could tell but I was too afraid to turn around and look at him, it makes my neck hurt since he is abnormally tall.
When I didn't reply and just walked to my room he grabbed me by my arm and that made me panic
"Let GO OF ME". I yelled and tried to remove his hand but of course as you would already guess he was strong and that will surely leave a big ugly bruise.
Not that I am not used to violence, come On I came from a Moroccan household, an Arab household in general, we all had punishments and got a flying sandal in our faces but the thing is that that violence was out of love and a way of education but his way of violence is just harsh and cold he just wants to be the boss.
"I fucking asked you something sposa!" He said louder this time and made me madly uncomfortable because he was way too close.
I have never been this close to a male in my entire life, I'm not gonna tell that I got butterflies and romanticize it because what I was feeling was just pure horror for real
"Yes I did and I fucking do love him," I yelled in his face giving him the same energy but that didn't work out for me cause I felt the cruelest slap land on my face
It hurt like hell
It felt awful
I have never been slapped by someone
My head was turned the other way and I was holding my cheek because it hurt so much
I wanted to keep my tears back to not satisfy his sadistic self but he removed my veil violently throwing it on the floor and revealing my caked-up face and loose hair
"NOO!" I yelled at him trying to grab my veil from the floor but he was holding me and I struggled so badly but he just didn't let go.
He just froze
He stared at me so intensely that he made me very uncomfortable the way he was looking at me caressing my long hair and holding my jaw hurting it with his big hand was scary
This man was literally examining me and the silence was so uncomfortable it was somehow very loud at the same time.
I was scared out of my wits
"Why are you looking at me and s-stop-pp touch-h-hing-g m-my h-hair ."
"I can touch whatever and whenever I like at the end you are my wife aren't you?" He grabbed my scalp harshly with his hands which hurt
"N-n-no I-i'm not your w-wif-fe." I shook my head continuously more like convincing myself
He just let put his hands in his pockets and chuckled lowly evilly
"You are Ilan Salvatore Syed."
"YOU ARE MY WIFE MY PROPERTY MY TOY WHATEVER I WANT TO CALL YOU YOU BELONG TO ME " he yelled which made me shake my head continuously thinking about my mother and Rohan.
"No No No No Nooooo!" I covered my ears and shook my head violently.
"NOOOOOO!" I yelled again not controlling my tears.
Rohan's bloodshot eyes flashed in front of me.
The ring that was on my hand reminded me of my mother's last wish that I was too of a coward to make it come true
"Please no Please have mercy on me."
I was now on the floor with my back on the cold wall knees tightly on my chest and my head resting on them covering my ears.
"Cut the drama now let's get to the good part ."
He took me by my arm and dragged me to a big room as dark as his soul.
Everything was black like his heart
Allah, please help me please I know everything happens for a good reason but please help me.
Before I knew it he threw me on the cold floor I was crying continuously not accepting what was happening, thinking it was all just a nightmare then the next words that came out of his mouth brought me back to my ugly reality
"Strip."
He was removing his suit starting by the vest and rolling up his black shirt sleeves.
I gulped loudly realizing what is happening
No no no no
I spent months preparing myself physically and mentally to give myself to Rohan on our wedding night I conserved myself and my body my whole life till marriage for the sake of God and now this man wants to take it all away from me.
Ain't no way
I know this is also considered marriage but it was FORCED which doesn't even count, he didn't have my consent
It took me a while to process the scene when he yelled so loud that his voice can make the ground beneath me tremble.
"I SAID FUCKING STRIP ILAN." The way he said that and finished it by saying my name made my knees weak I knew I was done
I knew I had to accept my fate but I'm not going down without a fight
"It will only be Rohan no one else." I looked him straight in the eyes not flinching to manipulate him that I am not scared at all.
"What did you just fucking say?" He came dangerously close to me and that made me shiver uncontrollably
"I-I will only st-tr-rip f-for m-my-y righ-t-ful-l h-husband Rohan and n-no one e-else ."
I'm so screwed
He backhanded me and I fell on the floor violently.
I was tryna get up but he grabbed me by my hair harshly and made our faces inches close to each other.
"Did you just fucking tell me that you are stripping for a man other than me?"
I was silent I just didn't know what to say. I'm doomed either way so I just held his hand that gripped my hair making my head tilt up to him to make him release me.
"You just showed me a sign of unloyalty which you are getting severely punished for ." He let me go and started removing my Caftan (Moroccan traditional dress)
I struggled but he won't stop he just slapped me every time I did, I struggled and struggled but to no avail. I knew that at some point I will accept my fate but I just couldn't bare the thought that this was my fate
He threw me on his king-sized bed and started removing his dress shirt followed by his belt causing a loud sound.
All that was heard in the room were pleas, my begging for mercy, and my prayers.
He took a candle and dripped it all over my chest I screamed but I couldn't make him stop because he had my hands tied up with his tie to his bed
I screamed so loud when I felt the burning sensation of the warm dripping wax.
He finally stopped
But what came next made me wish he didn't stop because what he did next ruined me
He was forcing himself on me
My pleads and whimpering were all that was audible in the room aside from his loud grunts that made me hate my body even more
I begged him but he won't stop
The only thing that he was saying repeatedly was
"You are mine just mine "
Those words killed me
I begged him so much
"Please don't do this please don't ruin me ."
I begged and begged
I felt so cheap and worthless
But only Allah is merciful
Only he will save me
When I felt an unbearing pain I knew that I should just accept my fate
Suddenly the cries stopped all that was heard were his disgusting words and growls like a hungry animal
I closed my eyes waiting for darkness to overcome me to make me not feel this
But I was awake all the time until he finished
And when I felt blood dripping I knew that it was over
He took it by force
He got what he wanted
And I am just a weak cheap toy for him to play with
I closed my eyes trying to sleep but nothing
After what seemed like hours it finally overcame me but it was scary feeling his arms around my weak body
I will never look at myself the same now
He made me hate myself
And I will make him regret this