It was as though someone had flicked on a switch enabling access of her memory banks. As she began walking through her life, she noticed a small window right at the beginning. It had wooden frames.
The elastic glass opened to a garden view where the foliage was of many hues, the flowing water crystal clear, the green grass expansive and, yet there seemed a prevailing sadness hanging in the air. She could go no further than peep. Her heart ached in feeling a longing to cross into the inviting vista but realizing within she could not.
The rolling images zoom afterwards, covering days, months, and years. A carousel encircling her, showering her in a light that got brighter even as the speed goes higher.
She spied a peculiar slot appearing from the verge of what she thought was the end of her memory strip. One that was a translucent, yet, solid. A blank slot housing some facet of herself she was unable to see. She had the slightest whiff of bewilderment, replaced by feelings of joy in the parts coming before.
Overjoyed, she rolled the reel again from the start, stopping at certain intervals. Basking in the glow of beautiful moments and experiencing the highs of many first achievements. In the periphery of her consciousness, she felt a ripple in the air. An intrusion into her world. Detecting a cold harshness pressing against the walls coddling her. A tiny black dot appeared within the reel.
Curious
She saw the dark spot forming into a shape not unlike her mother's fingers. They used to touch the tip of her nose. One finger turns to two to three into a full hand breaching her space, enveloping her in a cold embrace and pulling her towards a combo of deep darkness and dazzling light so bright…
She opened her eyes and immediately closed them. The light too intense on her pupils. A bit at a time, she told herself. Her eyelids obeying. Felt the cool air on her skin. A voice, hoarse in the distant. A curse at the end of words unheard.
You're not alone here. Wherever here is.
All her muscles felt stiff as though they have not been used for a long while. She began moving her fingers one by one. Limb by limb, she started stretching her aches away. Felt the warmth of blood flowing to every part of her body.
She pushed herself up and sat on the willowy soft yet creaky bed. An intravenous drip on the bedside. Her clothes; a moss green, backless single piece gown. The air she was breathing felt sweet. Much better than it was in her immediate memory.
A hospital? How long have I been here?
A stark realization hammered her as she dropped her legs from the side of the bed, the muscles straining as though going into a cramp. She moved her toes, squashing them, feeling the harshness of the plain blue carpet, thin but just enough for a semblance of comfort.
Who am I?
She saw a glass on the table besides her bed, and decided it looked clear enough to be plain water. She sipped slowly, the water passing through her coarse throat. Saw a piece of paper pasted on the wall on the left of her bed. The word, "Ain" written on it.
****
finally she's awake she's awake let see who I can use
Arman suddenly felt the burdensome weight lifted from his head. In an instant the throbbing was gone. The only thing he could hear in mind was his own thoughts, even as the songs blasting into his ears continued playing. He found himself being able to stand tall and then saw two red lights blinking on the monitor at the reception. Movements trigger by the disruption in the drips applied to the patients.
One was John Doe's female teammate, codenamed Ain. The other, a 50-year-old man sent for treatment by his family who could not stand his delusions of being a woman reborn in the body of a man. Arman recalled the patient had trouble sleeping, his two personalities constantly arguing with each other. Realized his mind was airy and light again.
He's gone? Now what?
Arman realized the blinking lights meant the patients in both rooms were up and about. Grabbing the hospital issued rubber truncheon, Arman rushed out of the reception praying that it would turn out to be of no concern. The knot at the base of his skull told him to be prepared for the worst.
****
Ain heard the movements inside the room next to hers and the chatting happening within. Talking about the girl next door. Her.
she's the bitch who told your son about your sickness tell the bitch to give back your family your life yes you can
She tried to stand up and ended up all wobbly and disengaged. It dawned on her there was just no way her body could be persuaded to sync at a moment's notice.
Calm yourself, Ain. Deep breath.
The floor briefly stung as Ain placed her soles on the floor and stood up. Steadied herself. Saw the build-in closet. What looked like a stack of clothes within. A pair of slippers too. She took two steps and took them out. Sweatshirt and a track-bottom. She hastily wore them as the chats from the trio inside the other room increased in their intensity. A female also within them. Silent viewer.
go and take back what is rightfully yours she is just next door bitch ratted you out
She heard the heavyset foot by her door. Still rooted, Ain saw to her dismay it was one of those unlockable ones. At least, not from inside. She heard hand rattling the knob. Spotted nothing inside the room she could use as a weapon.
she's inside get her get her tell her what's on your mind demand your life back
The door slammed inwards, and a hulking figure came charging in, barreling past her with a pillow in his hands. Without a thought, she allowed him to slide past her with the slightest roll of her body. The move sent him crashing into the closet. Groaning in pain as he stood up. A giant of a man, his weight made his action look cumbersome but still he came at her.
Ain kicked out, her right foot slamming into her assailant's groin. This time, his weight advantage worked for this time. Adding momentum to his charge and Ain went bouncing off with only the wall stopping her from falling. The spring in her own step prompt a quick recovery as Ain readies herself for another attack. She held herself back when she saw his face contort in a grimace as the pain of her kick registered.
Why are you doing this! Please stop…
He stared at her. Cheeks all puffed up and reddish. Veins snaking under sweaty skins on his forehead. To her surprise, he cowered with his back towards the closet as though in fear.
what are you doing don't let the bitch in be the man and get her kill kill kill kill
She took the pause to inch towards the door. Heard another shuffling in footsteps and loud music as another arrived at her door. A man with a stick in his hand.
get her get her get her get her get her get her get her get her you are so dead bitch ahahahahahahahahahahahaha
The hatred had returned in her assailant's face. Gone was the almost feminine look she had just seen. He clambered up from his prone position and charged at her. Ain grabbed the closest thing to her hand and threw it at him. The plastic glass bounced off without any impact, but it was enough to stall him.
She turned to face the new entrant. Surprised to see him raising the stick in his hand and slamming it hard on the other man's head. It bounced off as her attacker who retaliated with a wild swing of his fist. Clumsy and flailing, it still caught the newcomer squarely in the side of his ribs. The stick flew from his grip as both men tumbled down, blocking the entrance.
My gown….
She grabbed it and hastily spun a lash. Lassoed it around her attacker's head and then, feeling a tug of the makeshift rope in her hands, rolled herself across and off the bed. Heard a snap as she landed on the floor. She turned around and saw her attacker on the floor. Body in spasm, contorting in a yogic position with the knees splayed out. His head tilted at a distorted angle.
lucky bitch lucky but he was a lumbering idiot bet can find someone quicker so some many more to play with will you kill them all hahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Who the hell are you? Why are you doing this?
Her supposed savior rolled the dead patient off him and staggered to his feet. Eyes bloodshot red from the adrenaline rush. He coughed and then spat blood on the floor. Held out his hand towards her. A pair of earphones plugged into his ears.
"Are you hurt? It's okay, I'm a staff," he said.
Ain guessed he was in his early 30s. His left hand massaging his side where the dead attacker had connected.
"Where am I?" she asked, eyes peering into a semi-lit area of many doors.
"You're in a hospital, but I think we can exchange information later. We need to get out of here before he strikes again. Please. I don't think I can hold him out. Not like this," he said, hand on his side.
"Okay. You can fill me in later," she answered. Kept hearing music playing but it calmed her. She caught him having chaotic chats to himself.
I'm reading their minds. No wonder.
Calmer, Ain discovered she was able to focus on what she was hearing. She sensed the silent observer was gone while the vile one stuck in the empty husk of a man with two personas inhabiting the same body.
She scooped up the stick her savior had used as a weapon and understood why it didn't have any effect on her assailant. Rubber. She almost shook her head at the incredulity of arming oneself with a toy. What kind of a hospital is this? The many jumbled thoughts pointed to messed up minds.
"What about him? We can't leave him like this," she said.
They glanced at the dead man sprawled at the door. Blood was seeping from the gown around his neck and onto the floor. The man shook his head, sighed. Ain nodded her understanding of the situation.
"Let me lead. You're hurting. Just tell me where to go," she said.
"Left and then straight through the lobby. The exit is on the right of the main door. My key card will open it," he said, limping slightly as he followed her.
They both heard a door opening and hastened their exit, the darkness and a smattering of lights welcoming them. She was struck by how the eerie quietness appealed to her with the soft murmurs of those sleeping providing a blanket of comforting atmosphere.
Her companion came up beside her, hand pointing towards a pickup. Its silhouette framed against an empty space fronting sparse shrub and a white wall.
"That's my car over there," he said.
Shit I hope I have the keys with me and here they are.
Then another song played, disrupting his thoughts coherence, as she followed him to the pickup. By then, the ruckus from inside the hospital had increased.
"Can you drive?" she asked, pointing to his injured side.
He nodded as they both got in. The inside of the pickup was clean, with only a trace of the stale leftover scent of food possibly taken on the go. The engine came to life as he strapped himself in. Asked her to do the same and they drove away from the parking lot.
Ain saw him glancing towards the hospital. She turned around and saw the main door remaining closed, but the lights in the hallway switching on. The pickup hurtled past a small building and turned left at the junction. The road, empty. Trees lining it began to swallow all remnant view of the mansion as the pickup sped past them.
i'll get you yet you cannot outrun me you bit…
Ain shut him out, blanking the babble she's hearing and focused instead in pulling her own thoughts into a tight rein.
Who the hell was that? Who am I, really?