April 20, 2025
2:34 pm
John Buddy Ford, this boy is growing and I'm all here for it.It's exactly what Aileen would've wanted and I know she is looking down on us seeing such beauty walking.I was wearing the same outfit from when I lost Aileen but had a button up blue striped shirt underneath the jacket.John had on a blue Skechers sandals with white socks and Star Wars shorts with a tank top for his size; he also had on a sonic the hedgehog hat on and had on a Mickey Mouse backpack; he looked adorable.I parked the car in the parking lot of the cemetery that Aileen is buried at.We walked up to her grave as I held John as he still didn't understand much of what's going on but he's seeing happy to be here.I had a batch of roses as I placed them next o her grave as a pile was starting slowly as I had thrown out the ones that were dying out.There was candles and stuffed animals next to her gravestone as I shed one tear and said
"Ahh it's been tuff without still baby but I'm trying…I'm really trying …. Just for you ….I love you, he loves you….we all do and we miss you…:this little bastards going to be what I couldn't be, he's gonna be something …I just know it "
I stood there for a moment as I snapped out of it and said my goodbye as I told John say "bye mama…" she waved goodbye as we walked away.I carried him back to the car as I took off his backpack and looked through it,with the help of my sister as she helped me raise this kid; I had raised some good money for us.Last year I moved us out of Aileen's old home and lived with my sister again for a bit but like I said, I bounced back; 35,000$.
I have 35,000$ In hundred dollar bills inside this Mickey Mouse backpack.I put it in the passengers seat as I placed John on his baby seat as he giggled as I said"what's so funny fucker, you okay ?" He nodded as I rubbed his cheek with my thumb as I put his seatbelt on tight and secure.I got in the car of as I forget to mention I finally got us a new car like I said I would; a 2020 chevy blazer LT.
Well the question in mind is how I have such money, I went to a quick trade school on top of still working the two original jobs for a while.I graduated in a job in Billing and Coding; I can't lie I also had a bit of fortune with an accident I got into and the case settled as I got a payout of 125,000$ after all the lawyer fees and such.I got ran over and injured badly but only messed up my back, doctor said I was lucky to still be walking.
Well yea I have some good money now that I wish I could be sharing with Aileen.I also have to mention the enjoyment of being sober for nearly two years in her name; I did have moments when I nearly relapsed but didn't, I fought hard.I've been with this boy for every day he's been alive; I never left his sight in this world yet.I'm still young and he's still growing and I'll be for all those memories with him that I know she would've loved.
His first word was thankfully with small training, it was "Mama " it was so amazing as it was in the living room of my sisters home as we played with his toys as he just burst out and said it so casually as I jumped and yelled
"He said his first word, he said it- he said mama- he said mama ! " I remember I got him up and spun around with him in joy as he laughed.
"He said mama !" I said again as my sister and her kids cheered him on.
"Good job Buddy !" Said my sister as I couldn't let go of him in that moment.
I love him now as he's in the stage where a baby couldn't talk much but can understand what people say.He either nods laughingly or shakes his head in anger; it's delightful to see at times.Well I'm sorry I got off track with this all but back to present time.I was on the rise to drive us to an open house nearby as it was 7 minutes away.The plan was to live near this home that is near This elementary school that is close by my work.
I got to the place as I parked outside in front of this nice neighborhood that reminded me of back home at gothic avenue.I got the backpack and John out as I put the backpack back on him.We walked up to the home as we see the sign for the open house.We entered as the woman asked
"Oh- oh hello there, you here for the open house ?" She asked as she noticed John as he held my hand and stood there confused.
"Uh yes, I'm Sydney Ford, I think I had this for a Sunday, April 20th for 2:45 pm I think I'm a few minutes late which I'm sorry about…" I said as I shook her hand and she understood my timing to get here as she went over to get a bowl of candy nearby as she replied
"No you're totally good, all good- would you like a lollipop ?" She asked John as he took the lollipop as I jokingly
"Say thank you …." He got shy a bit as he unwrapped the lollipop and began to eat it.
"I'm sorry he doesn't talk much yet…." She was fine with it as she put the bowl back down and walked us around the home.
From what I can see it's a one-story home with an article and three bedroom, two bathrooms.It has a nice backyard with a gray cement wall and I did notice the nice white-picket fence when we entered.I loved the inside as it was a simple design with the walls colored white and the floor being wooden.The living room is spacious and the kitchen was sizable and I just know John will enjoy the backyard as he can play around with his furry pets he has.
3:25 pm
I got up to the front door as the real estate agent escorted us out nicely as she got s lollipop again for John as he took it again.
"Well I do hope to hear from you too again, and stay cute John …" she said to him as she tried to pinch his cheeks but he backed away.I shook her hand again as I replied
"Oh I do hope so too, I'll gladly be in touch soon; have a good day …."
I walked out as she waved me goodbye, I did the same routine with John and the backpack as I got in the car afterwards.I drove us out of there as I said to John on the drive home,
"You hungry ?" I asked as i see him nodding through the rearview mirror as I got to a red light.I was a few feet from my sisters apartment as there was a fast food spot right across her home.
"Alright we'll go eat right now okay ?" I asked as he nodded again as he kept eating that second lollipop.The light's green as I drove up to her apartment as I took a left turn into the apartment and entered the parking lot.I parked in our spot as I went in I saw her husbands car parked in the street.
I got John out as I put on the backpack on as I looked through it first and got out an hundred dollar bill.We walked as he held my hand, I then called my sister as I walked past her apartment and headed for the fast food place as she answered,
"Hey I'm getting some burgers and fries from across the streets, want me to bring you and the kids something ?"
I got to the sidewalk stoplight that is stopping me from getting food as I pressed the button with my elbow as my sister replied
"Yea get like four hamburgers with no onion or pickles and get me two chicken sandwiches with no mayonnaise and get like two large fries for us; thanks …" I said
"Damn…alright I got it…. Bye I'll be home soon …." I hanged up as the light was green.I looked both ways regardless because these drivers are reckless regardless of the color of the light; I should know.
I felt so at peace with John B. Ford knowing this my life now; raising him and making him the man his mother envisioned.You can picture it now as we walked aside each other I took my pace with him as he walked slower and I always have to hunch s little bit for him but it's worth it as I asked
"You want a big ass burger John ?" He nodded in joy as I added
"How about fries ?" He nodded again such a dumb look to his face but he was just smiling.
I can't believe my life has changed so much in nearly three years.From going to buy some records to making my record known on this world with this boy.From arguing with Aileen to arguing with myself about what I could've done different.What you won't ever see but I can say is I have small tattoo on her honor.Near where the skin is located of the trapezium bone I have her initials engraved with a heart around it.It isn't
noticeable at first but given a good glance you could see it.I've had many people ask what it means as I explain it with serious detail who it's meant to represent.Some cry, some don't react and others feel my pain.Well we got across the street as we were in front of the fast food place as I recalled moments with Aileen again.She would've loved this, being here with us.I can never say I took it for granted but I can admit; it's a disease to feel such a way in life.
My true love please remember what I've said, our paths will cross one day soon and I'm ready for it.
THE END