Chapter 3 - A mess

Coles POV

After Ana hung up the phone I went to the bathroom and closed the door. I still wasn't sure if it was Ana that came home or if my mind was playing tricks on me. With the excitement of having Elsie over, maybe I forgot to properly close the front door, or maybe I mistook an outside noise for the slam.

I didn't like how weird she sounded when I spoke to her, but I also feel like I know Ana well. She has a very strong personality and a feisty temper. I know her enough that, if she ever caught me cheating, she would never stay cool, calm and collected. She would go for blood.

I turned on the faucet and washed my face to calm my nerves. I dried myself off with a towel and looked at myself in the mirror. I needed to get my shit together. At this point I wasn't sure what I wanted and, sure as hell, I wasn't convinced I was going to leave Ana for Elise.

The affair started as innocent flirting and, As things became too routine with Ana, I began noticing that her friend would stare at me a bit too long, gaze at me with longing in her eyes and when Ana wasn't looking, she would linger in the places I Was in hopes to talk to me.

As the attraction grew, her behaviour would escalate. She would brush herself up against me at every opportunity. Grab the fork I was going for, place her hand over mine as I held the door open, and lean in close when we talked.  It was so apparent that she was into me but Ana never seemed to pay any attention or notice.

When I first started dating Ana,  I was relieved that I was with someone who wasn't the jealous type, but as time went on, I became resentful for what I perceived as her lack of caring.

I began to enjoy the attention From Elise and felt like Ana cared more about her work and patients. As she became more confident in her role as a doctor, I began feeling less and less needed. She didn't ask for my help anymore as she would network and impress everyone on her own.

I reached out to Elise as I knew she resented Ana for her success. I wanted someone I could complain to without making myself feel like the bad guy. All I wanted was for someone to look at me the same way Ana did when she was a nobody.  I wanted to feel that high of being adored.

On My first date with Elise, Ana was away at a conference in Seattle. She was gone for 3 days and I sent an "accidental" message to Elise. Once we started talking, we made plans to meet at a restaurant that no one I knew would frequent. She didn't seem to mind the low-key atmosphere and, as the night progressed, we ended up sharing a kiss in her car.

I drove home feeling a sense of guilt and excitement. I told myself that I made a mistake and would stay away from her, but when Ana didn't call that night, I felt underappreciated and made plans to go for a walk with Elise in the morning.

As time progressed, the meetings became more and more frequent and soon we were both lying to Ana regularly. We agreed that what we were doing was wrong, but felt that Ana was neglectful of both our feelings, and we were justified in seeking each other's support and comfort.

It eventually became apparent that, where I was looking for an outlet for my frustrations, Elise became obsessed with Ana and focused on taking her down. She began to sabotage Ana at work and took pleasure in seeing her struggles. She began pressuring me to leave and lit up at any conversation where Ana would find out about our affair. She would play out different scenarios and come up with ways we could tell her.  I struggled to understand how Ana was so blind and could still see Elise as a best friend.

As she became further unhinged, I became worried about the role that I played. I liked the sex and her desire to please me, but didn't like the obsession. Where in the beginning I considered leaving Ana to start a life with Elise,  I began to question those decisions as the excitement wore off.

Now as the possibility of Ana finding out and leaving became a reality, I began to realize that I made a huge mistake and hoped it wasn't too late to change the outcome.

I took in a big breath and tried to think rationally. She doesn't know, she couldn't. If she did she would have said something. Satisfied with that thought I checked myself over and returned to Elise.