Sho met Hana when they were thirteen. Both attended the same school but they have different class sections. The only reason they met each other was because of common friends.
He fell in love with Hana at first sight.
Hana was just… too perfect. She was what he could hope for in his dream girl.
Sho was like any other thirteen year old. He also wanted to experience love from a potential partner. Even in the anime he watched and books he read, there were some who had partners. Moreover Hana felt like she was the right one.
Every move she made was with grace. Every turn felt like a flower bloomed along with her. The usual dull setting that Sho saw suddenly became so bewitching it was breathtaking.
Her short dyed blonde hair was bright as the sunrise's glow. Her deep blue eyes were like light that could see through his soul. Yet, he didn't feel any resistance from being seen through. He felt happy and free.
"Hey, Sho, this is Hananoame Azamuku, Hana for short. Like you, she has foreign blood. She's from Class 7. She's looking for someone to tutor her. You should qualify."
"Hi, I'm Sho Chad. Half-Yamato, Half-Germania."
"I'll be in your care then." As the two shook hands, Hana showed the sweetest smile Sho had ever seen. It gave the feeling of cherry blossoms suddenly blooming and showered the two of them. It was a magical emotion he didn't expect to experience. It was pure bliss.
"Wow, so you also have foreign blood? It's obvious just like me, you don't look like any local Yamato!" she beamed a smile just like a flower blossoming.
He easily got infected and slowly lifted his lips to form a small shy smile.
The two became close as days passed by. Each day that came to almost an end, Sho would tell the story about it to Asahi.
"Ah~ our Sho is now grown up! Let me meet her when I come there, okay? She sounds amazing."
"She is! Also pretty. She's perfect! But for you… she might be too short. She's petite!"
"Haha! You sound so in love!"
"Hey stop teasing me! I just like being with her and I'm happy when we're together!" Sho was blushing and grinning. He was thinking how Hana accidentally leaned on Sho earlier and when the two locked eyes, time seemed to have stopped.
"Yiiee~ that's the first sign!"
The two best friends would constantly tease each other and Sho never felt normal as he was right then.
Of course, Asahi was the happiest seeing Sho getting back up and starting to act like any other of his age. For Asahi, Sho experienced too much for his age, it would be best to have people that would guide him, and the best guide he could get was people of the same age. Asahi was indeed happy with his decision to enroll Sho in a school that wasn't just for the rich kids.
The school Sho is currently enrolled had more middle class than high class and keiretsu or mostly known as conglomerates. Although the place was nowhere near Sho's school before, it didn't have the spoiled keiretsu brats.
"Hey! Let's play MOBA! Sho, carry us please!"
"Again?" Sho asked, raising one eyebrow. Instead of getting scared like before. His classmates were used to his temperament. Although Sho was a teen of few words, his classmates discovered that Sho wasn't as scary if they kept hanging out.
While he doesn't talk that much, he was quite popular. Especially after the class knew how rich Sho was. There was no end to people befriending him. Sho was actually stumped when people suddenly became enthusiastic to mingle with him. But he didn't think too much about it.
"You're the man! You're so great! Having you would carry us to rank up without hassle! Also, I've asked Hana's roommate for you~" there was a teasing tone in Kenji's voice.
Sho felt his face heated instantly.
"Tsk. Let's go."
Sho was actually happy to play MOBA. It was a new type of game that he just discovered and it still is rising. He introduced it to his classmates one time and everyone got hooked with it. Of course, Sho volunteered to pay for the computer they use. Knowing his classmates' budget, they wouldn't be able to afford one hour per day of rent.
"Aye! We'll go Karaoke later with the girls!"
And so, the group of five went to a nearby computer shop successfully ranking up with Sho as their carry. The group was very happy when they met the girls at the karaoke.
"You're talking aliens again. Hmph" Hana pouted cutely.
Sho grinned and pinched her cheeks. Hana shyly gazed at Sho. "You're cute." he said as he felt beet red.
The group teased them but the two only grew closer. Hana was shy but she didn't show any will to stop the teasing so Sho didn't stop them either. Days like that were pure ecstasy to Sho. Only there was another time where he considered it heavenly.
It was when Sho and Hana would be alone together. Sho volunteered to tutor Hana. What's wrong with helping your crush achieve a greater grade? It was pretty rewarding!
He was happy. And looking at Hana with her huge smile and lovingly eyes gazing at him. He felt it was mutual.
This had gone on for years after years.
Five years later, all of them were already seniors in high school. They were graduating. Everyone got busier and busier. Hana almost always looked for Sho because of the pending University entrance exams. She wanted to attend Yamato University. It was her first choice. And Obviously, Sho would help the girl he likes achieve her dreams.
Five years… but their relationship remained the same. When Sho wanted to clarify their status or confess to Hana, Hana would clumsily do something cute that would break his thoughts. He would forget everything and would only know how she's so cute and lovable. Physical touch became common whenever Hana became clumsy. At first, Sho was very shy and would always become red with raised emotions, but he got used to the constant touch. It became natural.
Sho wanted Hana and Asahi to meet. But that never happened. Whenever Asahi was around, Hana would be busy. And when Hana was finally free and would ask about Asahi, his best friend was nowhere around. For the past five years it was like that. They even joked that they weren't meant to meet each other.
Everything felt perfect for Sho. He was really glad to open his world to meet people. Even when he still has hobbies of watching anime, reading manga or novels. Having interaction with others was different. And having interaction with Hana was like fantasy.
***
Graduation Day.
Finally, the seniors achieved their graduation. They would start a new life at the University!
Everyone was sad, happy and fearful at the same time.
Sho was no different.
"It's time you confess!" Kenji said. The five of them were currently in the corridor outside their senior's classroom. Only the five of them remained there. All the students went to their respective graduation party. The five didn't proceed to the graduation party yet because Sho was tagged by his friends. They wanted him to confess to his longtime crush and first love.
"Yes! How long has it been?!"
"I'm sure the feelings are mutual!"
~Thump-thump-thump~
His heartbeat was palpitating wildly. Just imagining his confession made him extremely nervous. But he couldn't deny that his friends were saying sensible things. Each of their words were encouragement. The more they talked, the braver he became.
"Look! Hana's coming! You do your job! Don't regret anything!"
"Right! Secure the relationship! You don't know what will happen in University!"
~Thump-thump-thump-thump~
His heartbeat became faster and faster as Hana came close. Her charming delicate smile made him think of wanting nothing but to protect her. Her previously dyed blonde hair before was now back to her natural black-brown hair. She maintained them long to dress herself up for this graduation. Her hair was curled making her look like a doll.
She looked absolutely lovely.
"H-h-hey." Sho blushed realizing his stammering voice.
On the contrary, Hana had a huge smile on her face. It was encouraging to see her like that. So before his courage disappears, he blurted out everything all at once.
"Hana, I love you! Please go out with me!"
~Thump-thump-thump-thump, thump-thump-thump~
His heartbeat was the only thing he could hear. It was suffocating. But he was happy. Finally, he was able to say what he had in his heart! He was over the moon!
But soon, he realized that something was wrong. Everyone was silent, except for soft chuckles coming from his friends. He knew their laughs even when he was not facing them. They had been friends for five years.
But he couldn't care less for them. What he cared about was Hana's face and reaction.
There was a snicker in her face! A mocking smile. It was different from the Hana he knew that he thought he just hallucinated. He blinked and blinked. Trying to remove that image off his eyes. But the mockery didn't disappear.
"Such an idiot." she whispered. His friend's laugh became so loud they echoed in his ears.
The bright and colorful place slowly turned dull. Second by second the color disappeared replacing black and white. "W-what…" he whispered. He sensed himself wanting to just watch everything from a distance, but he was hoping… praying that he was mistaken.
"Did you think I would like you?" another sarcasm in her tone.
Hana seemed like a snake who just shed her skin.
She's not my Hana…
Sho stared blankly at her. He felt the perfect image of Hana in his memory started to crumble. Cracks appear indicating a mirror that is close to shattering.
"You really are an idiot. Good thing we would go our separate ways. I had enough! Everytime we touch I feel a cringe in my skin! Yuck! You're so gloomy! Do you really think I would like you?"
"Why…"
"Why? You're really an idiot for someone who's so smart. I just want to tell you don't contact me anymore. I don't want to do anything with you. I'll be starting a new life in Yamato. I don't want people to think I'm crazy for sticking with someone who goes to a psychiatrist like you! It would be better if you don't go to Yamato at all." Her voice was low but Sho caught everything she said.
Each word was like a knife stabbing his heart. It was painful. And so, he decided he didn't want to take the pain. He watched the scene as if he was watching a movie.
He dissociated.
Why didn't he notice anything before? Every move she made, every tone she said, everything felt perfect for him.
The watching Sho felt like crying. Because even when Hana was very different from her usual self, Sho still felt she was perfect. He still loves her…
He refused to listen to any more of what they said. The ridicule of his "friends" was like the buzzing of flies to him. Hana shot him one last look, her eyes were full of disgust. As if those times they were together were stains in her memory.
The group walked out, leaving Sho standing blankly alone.
He heard their distant mockery and laugh, but he couldn't care. He was just there, spacing.
Blank.
Nothing.
He couldn't feel anything.
He didn't want to do anything.
He just stood there with a blurry vision of his surroundings.
Seconds passed by. Then minutes. Then hours. It became darker but he still didn't move. He had no energy.
Everything was just a lie.
He was no dumb.
He knew the talks behind his back. Five years, he chose to ignore it. He chose to act like he knew nothing. He chose to trust his "friends" and Hana. He chose… the wrong path.
He was at fault. And he didn't want to accept it.
He refused to accept any pain!
"Sho? What are you doing there? You should be heading out to your graduation party, no?" Asahi's jovial voice could be heard in the lonely corridor. Then Asahi noticed that something was not right at Sho's back-figure, he immediately jogged towards Sho and proceeded to stand in his face. "What happened?!"
But Asahi knew that asking was useless. When Sho dissociated, he closed himself outside the world.
"It's fine to cry…" Asahi whispered. Asahi knows Sho all too well.
With just one sentence, Sho's tears rain down his eyes. There was no noise, no sign that he would cry. But as Asahi pushed the button, Sho's barrier collapsed.
He silently cried. He didn't want to. He was just about to turn eighteen years old but that age was enough for him to act like an adult. In society, a young man crying was no good. So, he soundlessly let his tears fall down. He was shaking, but he refused to make any sound.
It was painful. Having his heart broken was painful. It was a different pain. It was a pain that no one knows how to cure.
Silently, with a shaking shoulder and body, Sho's face became wet with tears, his eyes didn't even want to blink. He just let the tears flow. But soon, the pain in his heart grew stronger, he closed his eyes and bit his lips, stopping any sob from coming out of his mouth.
Asahi didn't say anything else. He just looked at Sho sharing his heartbreak. Although he didn't know what happened, that didn't mean he couldn't share the pain.
Sho was ashamed to cry. So he bowed his head, biting his lips tighter and his shoulder shaking more intensely.
A man shouldn't cry!
"There's no gender requirement for tears…" Asahi whispered at the right time. He knew Sho all damn too well.
And with that, the dam that Sho was barricading suddenly collapsed. Shaky voice of sob escaped his mouth. More tears flowed in his eyes. He didn't know how to stop the pain so he hammered his chest, thinking that a physical pain was less painful than an emotional pain. He struck and struck, but after the third strike, Asahi couldn't watch Sho hurting himself so he stopped him.
Sho still felt the pain but having finally sensed Asahi, he slowly calmed down. He knew that Asahi didn't want him to hurt himself. So he just wept his hardest until no more tears came in his eyes.
Time was null to someone who is grieving. The two didn't care about the time at all.
"T-thanks…" he uttered. His voice hoarse from crying.
"We are best friends. Now, tell me, what happened." It was the familiar voice of Asahi who was trying his hardest to control his anger.
Sho looked around. No one was there. Everyone was at the graduation party already. He sighed in his heart. Having no courage to face Asahi while narrating what happened, he decided to face the window before starting. He left no details untold.
Even without facing Asahi, he knew the guy wanted to explode from anger when he talked. "You don't deserve her."
"I know."
"They are not your friends for laughing at you and leaving you here."
"I-I know." his voice quivered.
"You met the wrong people. But they're not the only people around. They're just the minority. They used you. And now that they're done using you, they want to dispose of you. They're the wrong crowd."
Sho knew Asahi was right, but he didn't say anything. It was too much and he was still absorbing everything. He was just about to be eighteen, he was still in his teens, in the law of Yamato, he was still a minor.
He decided not to attend the graduation party and rest until he got better. When he was better, he went out and wanted to confront his "friends" but was left stunned.
Everyone viewed him as their enemy. Hana vilified his image with everyone. Even his "friends" backed it up. All his classmates and schoolmates saw him as a villain who took advantage of Hana's kindness.
The story they circulated was that Sho went mad when Hana rejected him. They said that Sho couldn't accept Hana's rejection. Hana just wanted them to be friends. She said that she felt they were just like siblings, that's why she was comfortable with him. Sho took the wrong signal and said Hana played with him. Because of his rage, he didn't attend the graduation party.
Everyone saw him as a villain. Even those who don't know him, when they saw him on the street, glared at him. Countless rumors emerged from him.
That he was an arrogant rich kid.
That he was a game addict that couldn't separate games from reality.
That he was going through a psychiatrist because he was crazy.
More and more rumors came out. Some were true while most were exaggerations. Even his teachers tried to scold him even though he already graduated. The teacher close to him saw him pretending to be a sheep in wolf's cloth. They thought it was a pity and "tried" to correct his path. No one listened to his reasons. No one asked.
His last attempt of reaching out was blocked when he heard his "friends" on their usual hangout talking about him.
"Hahaha! Sho is so funny! He's so naive!"
"Ahh~ too bad we won't have anyone to carry or pay for us anymore."
"It's better he's not here. It's always suffocating when he's here! I'm almost always cringing when he acts nonchalant with us but when Hana is here he would talk and talk!"
"Hahaha! True! True! What do you think, Hana?"
"Hmph. Only good thing about him is that we've got a lot of free stuff. He even volunteered for my exam fees. I just hate to pretend that I like when we touch! Gross!"
"Haha! He surely didn't have any idea that it's your plan all along for us to befriend him! With us hanging around, no one else was able to get close to him."
"I hate it the most when others mention how he's so rich and they're jealous of us hanging out with him! Yuck!"
"Ahahaha!"
"I hate that Sho! The heck! He would laze around but still get an almost perfect score! What would happen if he didn't laze around! If I have his mind, I'll be the star! I'll be called a genius!"
"Good riddance! I hope we don't see that genius anymore! Being near him makes me feel so little!"
"SAME!"
Sho, realizing that the world was just a pain to handle, he gave up on his University and started to play with the stock market while holing himself up once more in his castle.
"Being a hero is not for everyone. I feel like I seeked my own death, acting like a hero. I should stop playing the hero."
Sho sadly muttered. He realized being a hero is not for him. Not everyone was destined to be a hero. It was his mistake thinking he was a hero whenever he helped his "friends" and Hana.