Oh, I feel like a zombie. When I looked in the mirror I found dark circles under my eyes and my face was a little pale because I couldn't sleep last night. The image of the attempted rape continues to haunt me. And damn I can't act like a five-year-old girl who runs into her parents' room when I have a bad dream. I had to swallow all the bitter pills myself and let my night get really bad because I couldn't sleep at all.
And today I can't work well in the office because I don't feel well. Everything Alscot did in the past few days had a lasting effect on me physically and mentally. Because my body was in pain, I couldn't work properly and I made a lot of mistakes which made my workload even heavier. Besides, I still can't forget all the things Alscot did to me. It was my first time, so naturally I'm still very traumatized by that incident. Even now I feel a little anxious when I run into men I don't know. They glanced at me a little, I reflexively inched backwards while hiding beside my secretary's body.
I don't know how long this feeling will haunt me. I'm really, really scared right now. My thoughts of a beautiful and trouble-free world are slowly fading away. This world turned out to be very cruel, full of bad people hanging around me. I can't trust someone through his good looking face. All of that is deceptive. In fact, there are a lot of johns around me. Which makes me the object of their dirty fantasies. I wouldn't be surprised if my dad became very protective of me. There are many reasons behind all the annoying over protectiveness. Dad wanted to protect me, but in a way I really didn't like.
Haha! Exactly what kind of life I want! I feel my dad is too controlling, but on the other hand I feel it is a good thing. At least after what happened to me, now I understand a little the reasons behind my dad's overprotective attitude.
"Ivy, why did you cancel your partnership with Silas Corp?"
"Dad. Usually you never come to my room without notification. Or usually you will directly call me to come to your room." I looked up from all the documents scattered on my desk and smiled tiredly at my father who had just come into my room.
"You seem very busy. Why did you cancel that lucrative partnership, Ivy?"
As expected, dad would be suspicious of my sudden decision. But I can't tell dad the truth. That would make daddy worried and angry. I'm sure dad will be angry and won't look as relaxed as Axel when he finds out that his daughter was almost raped. But if I tell dad about that incident, dad will tie me up even more in his golden cage. All my plans to gain freedom will fail.
"Silas Corp does not match our company's vision and mission. And Alscot Silas also has a bad reputation among business people. I just found out after finding out more details about his profile."
"Since when do you care about the vision and mission of this company?"
Dad took a place in front of me and glanced at the documents scattered on the table. From the look in his eyes I could tell that my dad was quite satisfied with what I was doing. All of those documents are the second quarter financial reports that just came in. All of that fantastic value and fattening our accounts all the more.
"Since I worked in this company of course. If we don't work with a company that has the same goals as us, I'm afraid it won't go smoothly in the end."
"Besides that you also commented on Alscot's personality. Why?"
"He has a severe personality defect," I said coldly.
Am I not lying? That jerk does have a very severe problem with his personality. If only I could, I want to put that crazy man in a mental hospital right now.
"Alscot Silas is a notorious jerk with women. Even though he didn't cheat in the company or manipulate anything, but I'm afraid he might make me his next target. I'll be in charge of the project anyway. We would meet often and talk about business stuff. If he has a bad reputation among women, I don't even want to get close to a man like that."
I tried my best not to put my emotions into this conversation, although to be honest I really wanted to scream in front of dad that that bastard almost raped me on my own table.
"Did he? It's a shame, even though I really hope our company can work together with Silas Corp. How is your relationship with Axel? It's been one week, in three weeks you will get married."
God! I forgot about that guy. We haven't kept in touch since that day. Axel seems incredibly busy out there. He never called me to ask how I was doing. And I also don't want to think about it anymore after he showed such a disappointing attitude in front of me. I don't think our relationship will go as smoothly as I thought. If at the start of our relationship he seemed that indifferent to my pride, then what about our married life? I really can't imagine it. Besides I would be constrained by her aristocratic life, my self-esteem might also be crushed even more if I forced myself to marry him.
"I don't know. I am not sure. Can I step back?"
I lowered my head while playing with my fingers like I used to do since childhood when I got nervous to speak in front of my dad. I don't think I'll be ready to get married this year. Everything suddenly felt complicated and not at all as easy as I had imagined so far. It turned out that finding a future husband who fit the criteria I wanted was very difficult.
"All members of Axel's family have agreed with your wedding plans. Even Amora, Axel's mother, has ordered a wedding dress from a famous designer in Paris. Don't disappoint Axel's mother and family, because the trust they give to our family is far more expensive than even the most precious treasures."
Trust? I think your daughter's pride is worth far more than anything in the world. It's a shame I can't say that right now because dad would be sad. Axel is the only man who managed to get my dad's blessing to marry me. If I cancel it, I don't know what will happen to dad.
"I didn't know that Axel's mother had ordered a wedding dress. Axel hasn't called me lately. Nobody told me anything."
"He's been busy. You should be able to understand his work."
I don't understand! Never understand. God, I'm so mad right now. I want to tell dad that Axel is a goddamn jerk who doesn't even stand up for my pride. And about the busyness out there, I will never understand it until whenever. All of that cannot be used as an excuse behind his indifference to my life.
"I really don't understand. Even Axel canceled our planned trip to Columbus indefinitely."
"You seem very angry at Axel and not enthusiastic about your wedding? Ivy, ready or not, you still have to get married this year. Someone has to take my place to look after you because I feel I'm getting old, and probably won't be able to take care of you much longer."
"Dad... what are you saying? Don't say that. Forever you will continue to look after me. Don't say as if you're going to leave me soon."
I don't know why my heart ached when I saw dad suddenly turn into this. Did something bad happen to dad without my knowledge? No! I don't want to hear any bad news.
"Don't be naive, Ivy. I'm getting old. I can't keep looking after you. Even though I love you very much and don't want to lose you as my daughter. It's hard to let go of the only pearl in my life for another man. What I've done so far is solely for your good. You are my very beautiful daughter, many men out there are attracted to you. It's actually hard to be in this position. But I can't deny that when you were born, it was the happiest moment for me. The most beautiful day as long as I live in this sick world. Your loud cry made my chest thrill with emotion at that time. You are the most beautiful and precious treasure I have ever had. I love you so much, Ivy."
"I love you too, dad." I held my dad's wrinkled hand tightly.
Oh God, my eyes started to heat up and my tears urgently will drip down any minute. Why suddenly dad said like that. From the expression on his very serious face, I was sure that this time Dad really meant his words. His face showed the radiance of sincerity I had never seen before. I feel very native to him. I've always thought my dad was mean and cruel. Always restrain me, and never give me freedom. But now I know that all of that was done because my dad really loved me. Oh, I'm sorry dad. Really I never knew if you loved me more than that.
"You're not going to back down from this match, are you?"
"No."
"Very nice. Keep being my sweet daughter."
Dad squeezed my hand back, then walked out of my room. He let me wallow in guilt that was eating away at my heart more and more viciously.
Maybe after this I will consider my plan to defect from this matchmaking plan. Huh, I have to be a little patient with Axel's attitude. Yes, it's the only way I don't disappoint dad. To keep me married at the age of twenty-four. Just like my dad wanted.