I was watching my image in the mirror as my eyes locked on the wardrobe mirror in front of me. My bloodless face was lifeless and soulless, as if it belonged to a dead person. With the white eyebrows above my dull eyes and the white eyelashes around my eyes, my face looked even more terrifying than it was. It was contributing to this on my faded light purple lips. My jet black straight hair, while it was more messy than it was, became fluffy and electrified. This was the first time my mood was reflected on my face. I was spiritually screwed up and my mirror image didn't argue against it, unlike usual.
Startled by my mother's kiss on my hair, I turned my gaze to her in the mirror. Her light blonde hair fell in waves over her shoulders, and she looked like an angel in her white satin nightgown. He was reciting prayers from the Bible as he took me in his arms and hugged me tightly. Even though he knew I was not a believer, he was doing this to comfort me. I felt a little relieved by the effect of his hug. But the soulless expression in my eyes did not go away. It didn't look like it was going to pass.
My brother, who entered through the open door, approached me without taking his eyes off me. He rested his warm fingers on my forehead. He was checking to see if I had a fever.
"How are you feeling?" ' he asked in an uneasy voice.
"Like shit." I said without looking at him. Later, I remembered my mother's existence and regretted what I said. As I heard my mother's negative voice, "Sorry." I said looking at my sister. Shaking her head, she just shrugged.
"Are you sure you've seen someone? Perhaps you had a hallucination or something as a result of a dream you had." said my brother, sitting on the edge of my mother's bed. I didn't know why they brought me here. I woke up and was in my mother's room instead of my own.
"Two years…" I said in a low voice, straining. I cleared my throat and tried to speak. "Oh... I've been seeing that thing... for two years," I said as I took a deep breath and puffed up my chest. While my brother's thick brown eyebrows were furrowed, a small letter Z formed in the middle of both eyebrows.
"Why are you just saying this?" he asked sternly.
"Because I was just seeing. I didn't know that nobody saw it but me. But today I showed it to Stella and she said there was nobody where I was looking. She was just in my room…" I was like going crazy.
He brought thin fingers through his reddish-brown hair to his chin and began to scratch. My mother had finished her prayer as her gaze went between me and my mother.
He stroked my hair with his soft hands and kissed me.
"Mom? What are we going to do?" ' my brother asked, in a tone that contained the last vestiges of hope.
Mom took a deep breath as she sighed. He brought his soft fingers to my forehead and smoothed the strands of black hair on my forehead. Then she pressed her fingers to my temples and began massaging them slowly. "We can go to the church and see the priest." she said uncertainly.
"This is what's in my head." said my brother, blinking at first, then rubbing his red eyes. The hour and minute hands were on three as my eyes darted to the large brown clock hanging on the wall.
"We'll get it done tomorrow. You go to bed if you want, I'll stay with Matilda," my mother said in a tired voice.
Nodding his head in agreement, my older brother rose from the end of the bed towards me and placed a disgusting wet kiss on my forehead. After giving my mother the same kiss, she said good night and left.
"For some reason I feel like you're going to have a hard time sleeping." said my mother.
"You might be right," I muttered. I didn't think I could sleep for a long time.
"Would you like me to give you one of my sleeping pills?" he asked, continuing to massage my temples. I did nothing but close my eyes and mutter in approval.
One of my mom's hands was pulled from my forehead, and even though I couldn't see it, I could feel her arm reaching for the nightstand next to me. As I opened the drawer, the creaking noises made me frown, and within seconds the drawer squeaked shut again. The water flowing from the tall thin glass jug was pouring into the glass, flowing like water in my thoughts. I kept my eyes closed as my mother parted my lips and placed the pill on the tip of my tongue. I felt the coldness of the glass stick to my lips as I grimaced at the bitter taste of the pill. I parted my lips, took two big sips of the warm water, and sent the pill along with the water into my stomach. My mother put the glass back on the nightstand and laid me on her pillow and covered me. A little later he lay down next to me and pressed me against his chest, smearing me with the scent of lilac.
*
Contrary to usual, this time I wasn't laughing as I stared at my reflection in the mirror absentmindedly. Whenever I wore this costume, I felt almost like a Goddess. Or like a very marginal girl. The second one was more suitable for my image in the mirror, I think. I wore a short blue wig on my head, huge black sunglasses on my eyes that had obscured half my face, and a dark lipstick resembling eggplant purple that made my lips look fuller than they were. I would often do this when I was bored or depressed. I created a fake account, a fake character on social media. After a while, it became a popular person and thousands of people started watching my live broadcasts and videos. I took the thin black cigarette from the nightstand drawer and placed it on my lips. Without igniting the cigarette, I continued to hold it between my lips and turned on the camera. Looking at my image on the camera, I took a deep breath and grinned broadly. I definitely looked like I belonged to the camera. Before we even started talking, the comments had already arrived.
"Hey, you haven't been seen in a long time, bluehead."
"Our cool, sexy girl is here."
"You look really sexy beauty."
As the men's comments continued in this way, I looked at the colorful hearts forming on the screen. As it continued to increase, I took the cigarette between my lips between my fingers and played. I started talking without looking at the camera. It was easier to explain that way.
"Hi... I'm not going to tell you anything nonsense this time. I'm not sure I mentioned it before, but I thought I was being watched by a kid for two years..." I said, looking up from the cigarette and looking at the comments.
"You said it. Someone in black."
"Yes, you did, Blue Head."
Ignoring the nasty comments from the comments, I read a few more comments and started playing with the cigarette between my fingers again.
"Yesterday when I was at school, I was in the girls' bathroom with my girlfriend and she was sitting in the cafe across the street watching me. When I showed her to my girlfriend, she said she didn't see anyone and said that I might have seen ghosts. I don't really believe in such things, but..." I swallowed hard and turned my eyes to the phone screen.
"Ghosts aren't real, you idiots."
"Of course there are ghosts."
"If he's handsome, he can look to me too, baby."
"I think that's normal since you're a blue-headed bitch."
While the comments continued to be obscene and suggestive, I no longer cared for the profanity comments. I turned my eyes back to the cigarette between my two fingers.
"But he was in my room last night and he tried to strangle me. I was at a loss as to what to do, what to think. I don't understand... Does anyone know about this?" I said and kept quiet. As I continued to stare at the cigarette in my hand, I could hear the voices of comments, but I didn't seem to care much. I turned off the live broadcast without looking at the phone too much. As I lay on my back on my bed, the wig slipped off my head and fell on the bed. I bought this wig a time when I was making Copslay. But then I opened the Bluehead account and continued to wear the wig, creating a personality quite different from my own. The blue head was loved more than the real me. This was an indisputable fact.
I picked it up over my stomach as my phone on my half-opened shirt began to vibrate. I smiled and answered the caller on the screen.
"Hello, dear?" said Stella.
"Hi darling."
"Why didn't you come to school today? Did something happen?"
"Umm, should we go skating?"
"Fuck! Something terrible has happened. What happened?"
"How about if I tell you when I'm skating?"
"Okay okay. Be in the park in ten minutes."
"Okay, see you."
I hung up the phone and got out of bed. I took the wig off my head and put it in my drawer, which I opened randomly. At that time, I had a selpak in my hand. I quickly wiped the lipstick off my lips and untied the bun in my hair. While I was releasing my black hair, I dyed my eyelashes and eyebrows. I sprayed a light perfume and left my room.
When I looked at my mother, I realized that she was making cake mix in the kitchen. As I slowly approached him, the smell of cocoa cake filled my nose. I hugged my mom's waist from behind and folded my hands on her flat stomach. I pressed my forehead to his back and placed a small kiss.
"Honey." said my mother, reflecting the smile on her face in her voice.
"My mom." I muttered, hugging her flat stomach even more. This woman was my reason to breathe.
"Are you okay honey?" ' she asked as she put down her mixer and turned to me. My head is now resting on his chest. He took my face in his hands and placed a small kiss on the tip of my nose.
"I'm fine mommy," I said, unable to stop my tearful eyes. I took a deep breath and blinked my misted eyes.
"Don't worry everything will be alright." She said in an assuring tone. He placed another kiss on my forehead, caressing my cheekbones with both thumbs.
"We're going skating with Stella." I said, resting my head on his chest again. I listened to his heart beating in a slow rhythm as his soft white hands gently ran through my hair. It sounded like a lullaby to me. It's so soothing and warm.
"I don't need to say be careful, do I? Take care of yourself. Be very careful." she said while stroking my hair. I shook my head lightly on his chest and turned my eyes towards him. Her hazel eyes looked wet and tired. I lift my head from my mother's chest and let her lips press against my cheeks. He presses his soft lips to my forehead and says, "I love you so much honey." she said in a hearty voice.
"I feel like a kitten, mom..." I said, smiling bitterly. She smiled, running her thumbs over my cheek, looking me in the eyes.
"You're my kitten anyway," he said, pressing his lips to my cheeks.
"Mommy..." I said before I could stop giggling.
"My honey."
"I love you so much, I'm glad you're my mother." I said with a sentence that made her frown.
"Oh, I love you too, my beautiful girl." she said, smiling.
"You've kept me busy. I have to go, mommy," I said, reaching out a little and kissing her cheek.
"Come early." she said as I walked towards the coat rack.
"Ok." I said, taking my black skates in my hands.
*
"This is it." I said loudly to Stella. The wind caressed my skin as I slid along the shoreline as the drizzle drizzled across my skin.
"We need to start talking to the ghostbusters. I'll see what I can find on the Internet."
"I still can't believe this is happening." I said with a sigh of relief.
"It's starting to get dark. Shall we go back?" ' she asked, turning the chocolate browns into the sky. A few raindrops turned to me, blinking her long eyelashes as they landed in her eyes. Her cheeks were completely rosy from the cold weather.
"Sure," I said, getting a response.
"I hope it doesn't rain too much." she said as she swept her nervous glances over her purple roller skates.
As if the sky had heard what Stella said, it roared. We both screamed and fell to the ground in response to the sudden loud thunder. As I continued to lie on my back, rain fell on my face like water from a broken glass.
"Oh fuck." I said while closing my eyes.
"Great, fuck this weather. I hate it here." As he continued to curse, I averted my gaze and let my hair get wet.
"I thought you were against it there." I said, grinning like an asshole.
The chocolate browns staring at me dimmed and shrunk almost to the point of being invisible. He lifted his arm above my stomach and straightened to the side. There was a smacking sound when he quickly slapped his hand on my forehead.
"Slut!" she hissed, hitting me once more.
"Did you tell me that?" I said with narrow eyes. I straightened up like him and snarled, showing my teeth. The only reason I growled was my love for the vampire realm. That's why I liked being white a little more.
"Yeah bitch." he said, imitating me and growling.
"I'll show you now me!" By saying that, I had to throw myself on him. I sat on her calves and started tickling her, not caring if we were wet or washed away by the rain.
"You bitch…" I said, laughing and continuing to tickle.
"Matilda…" she gave a long laugh, then struggled to speak again. "Matilda.... Fuck it, let me go!" she said in one breath and started laughing.
I pressed my head against his wet shirt and stayed that way for a while. Not long after two minutes, we both heard a splashing sound.
"Look guys... Two sweet girls." said a man with a deep voice.
As I got up from Stella, I picked her up off the ground with me. Our slippery skates made our work difficult in the pouring rain, we managed to hold on to each other. I gripped Stella's hand tighter as I stared at the obviously drunk men standing in front of us. When I heard her cry-like sob, I forced my gaze to her. His face was pale, and his rain-drenched face was bathed in tears.
"Oh, little girls…" said one of the men. I grabbed Stella's hand tighter and started running, as her gaze that pointed at nasty messages swept over both of us.
"We're fucked," Stella said in her trembling voice.
I just tried to slide faster without giving any answer. But the wet road with some water lakes didn't help me much. As I slipped and fell on my back thanks to the skate, I reflexively pulled my hand away and placed it under my head. I knew I was peeling off the top of my hand when I fell to the ground. The pain was fresh and unbearable. It must have been a pretty deep tear. My gaze turned to that side with the sound of thump coming from my side. Stella was lying on the ground with her head on the floor, dark blood seeping from her blond hair, gliding across the wet asphalt.
"Stella!"
A hand stopped me as I tried to crawl over to him. When I looked at the owner of the stopping hand, I saw that it was one of those men. I started screaming when he tried to pull me towards him with laughter. The man was saying something, but I couldn't understand what he was saying as the screams kept rising from my throat.
I thought my cheek was on fire as the man's right hand exploded between my left cheek and ear. My head was tilted to the left, I continued to watch the man with my eyes half unconscious. The man's hands gripped my dysfunctional arms as the smell of my blood dripping from my ear to my neck filled my nostrils. Someone was sitting on my stomach when the rain started to drizzle on my blank eyes. A scream of pain escaped my throat as my brain forgot what had happened for a moment and recalled it again. It was the last scream I could throw at that moment. As soon as I screamed, another man clung to my lips, silencing me. I inhaled the pungent smell of alcohol as tears flowed from my eyes to my neck. Immediately afterwards, relief came and the smell of alcohol was gone.
When I saw the man sitting on my stomach being badly beaten by the children of our school ahead, I was overwhelmed with surprise and joy. A moment later, I glanced at Stella, who was still unconscious. He was still lying on the ground, covered in blood. When I turned my eyes to those who were fighting, I saw that there were ten in total. Three people were fighting for us. I turned back to Stella and crawled over to her.
I pressed my palm to Stella's cold forehead, pushing away the bloody hair from her face, revealing her cold face. As the tears flowing from my eyes quickening, I pull her into my lap and press her face to my chest.
"You're coming with us, brat." A voice said, starting to pull my hair like it was holding it. As I screamed and tried to get away, I heard a sound like a stick breaking. And the man's vacant blue eyes fell right next to me. My whole body felt numb as the pained expression on his face ended in a violent trembling. I just watched the man for a few minutes. He wasn't moving. It wasn't moving at all. His chest was not going up and down. A lake of blood began to form where his head was. I bowed down with all my courage. A shiver ran through my body as my hands touched the man's warm wrist. We had no pulse. As I slowly stood up, my eyes were on the face of the man whose last thing he saw was mine. It was as if his soul had been withdrawn, as blood began to flow from his mouth, I slowly turned my head towards the murderer of the corpse, with the strange energy I felt.
The stars, imprisoned in the pitch-black darkness, gleamed as if they had found freedom in his black eyes. He swallowed as he looked at me with a worried expression on his face. I swallowed hard too. I was looking at a familiar face now.
"You?" I said in a frightened voice. As my gaze shifted to the corpse of the man lying on the ground, he too looked at the man he had just killed. As she approached the man, she muttered a few strange words I didn't know the meaning of, and bent down and grabbed the man's armpits.
"Matilda, are you okay?" I realized it was from North. He started bleeding from the punches he received on his chin.
I nodded, not taking my eyes off the man dragging the body. There was an Audi just ahead, and it looked like it belonged to him. The killer opened the trunk of the car and lifted the corpse he had left on the ground as if he were lifting a pillow and stuffed it into the trunk. When he closed the trunk lid, his eyes turned to me and then he got in his car and drove off.
"Is this Stella?" With another male voice I heard, I took my eyes from the direction of the disappearing car to where Stella was. One of the tenth graders whose name I know is Mike was trying to pick Stella up by tapping her face.
"Cry." said North. I wasn't sure when I started crying when he wiped the tears from my face with his fingers. "Okay, don't be afraid." she continued, resting my head on her chest for support. As I felt his woody perfume, his warm skin, I remembered the man's cooling skin. My crying got worse. I felt him lift me up as his hands rubbed my back. I didn't realize when I fell to the ground.
"Matilda, give me your phone." I just cried when he said it. "I hope it's in your coat pocket." he continued, looking into the pockets of my coat. "Okay, he's here. Mike, you need to reach out to Stella's family."
She was talking to someone on my phone as she continued to cry against North's chest. Although I couldn't hear who he was talking to, I was sure it was my brother. As I hung up the phone and put it back in my coat pocket, the rain had begun to slow down.
"You're safe, don't be afraid." North said, I lifted my head from his chest at the sound of a car.
I thought he came, but no, it was my brother. As I got into the car without saying anything, I heard my brother talk to North, but I didn't listen. The back door of the car opened again and they let Stella inside. When I looked at my friend who had come to his senses, he was looking at me with tearful eyes. When I turned around again, I continued to cry.
***