''I'm hugging the tree, i'm hugging the tree''
She felt a sense of calm and tranquility, as if all the noise and chaos that usually filled her mind had melted away. Wrapping her arms around the tree, she felt its rough bark against her skin. Just closing her eyes, she knew the whispers that usually choked her would disappear. The voices would stop, just like before. "Hug the tree tightly," she told herself.
She could feel the roots of the tree reaching deep into the earth, and in that moment, she found peace. It wasn't just the peace of solitude but the peace of connection, the peace of knowing that she was part of something greater than herself. She knew that the tree and the forest would always be there to offer refuge, no matter how violent the storm within her raged.
Suddenly, she heard a loud crack, like a stick snapping in half. Her eyes snapped open, and her heart raced in her chest. The peaceful silence was shattered, and her mind was instantly flooded with noise and chaos.
The voices came back, whispering in her ear and filling her head with doubt and fear. She tried to block them out, to focus on the feeling of the tree beneath her fingertips, but they were inescapable. Her breaths came in short gasps, and she felt a lump form in her throat.
"I'm telling you, we should have sold her on the black market. You can find strange things there, like her."
She let out an exasperated sigh as a familiar noise interrupted her peace. Thank you, Alicia, she told to herself again. She stepped away from the tree and glanced down to find a little rock lying near her feet. Without a second thought, she picked it up and threw it in Alicia's direction, hoping to get her reaction, but because of her shitty aim, the rock ended up hitting Nick, who was standing next to her.
"Ow, why are you throwing at me?! She said that!"
''You deserved it too! i saw you laughing back there!''
''Jesus Fey! it was funny i couldn't control it!''
''yeah it's funny when the stranger humiliates your cousin at a camp!''
She said with a little shaky voice while looking at Nick rubbing his arm after getting hit by a rock.
''Get over with it Fey, it was a silly joke that you should have laughed about too, now you made everything awkward'' Said Alicia with a serious face that looked like she was forcing the words out.
''yeah right! i should have laughed when they mocked me about hearing things and than calling me a liar!''
''but you are really lying all the time?" Alicia confronted.
''What?! no i'm not.''
She in fact does.
''really? you hearing a woman calling Elisora? who the hell is even that? and don't get me started on those ''come save us, we need your help'' play that you hear all the time - ''YOU are the one that needs help Fey!'' - Alicia spoke with a hint of irritation in her voice
''I never lie about those things!!''
''you lied right now.''
''Shut up Nick, no one ever cares for you.''
Nick gasped in silence.
''Whatever, just go i don't want to see any of you right now''
''oh my god just come back and go to your tent-
Alicia's stepped towards to Fey and reached out to touch her. She tried to back away, but Alicia's hand still brushed against her arm. The sensation was overwhelming, and Fey felt like she was going to explode.
''I said i don't like being touched! How many times do i need to tell you that?!!! Why are you never listening to me?!'' Go away!!!
Alicia recoiled, startled by Fey's outburst. Fey started hearing her heartbeat, something was drowning her, she couldn't control the range of her voice. She Immediately turned around hoping none of them saw how red her face and how watery her eyes got.
Aaaaaand she hurried away.
''run, run, run, run, run. Don't look back Fey, I wish they could just disappear, everyone would disappear, they always put me in uncomfortable situations, please just disappear, everyone, every person on this planet, i want to be left alone, i like being alone, please let me be only one on this planet so i can quietly slip away into the next world, free from the noise and chaos of this one. Where the existence of the human is no longer needed.''
Fey was having one of the moments again, familiar, repulsive and unescapable moments. How long would it last this time? and how far would it go? She could no longer hear the screams of Alicia yelling out her name, now she was somewhere else, surrounded by unknown tall trees stretching far into the sky. She realized she had wandered too far from camp, feeling the distance like a weight on her shoulders.
A small lake shimmered in the distance, and she spotted a middle-sized rock on which to perch. With a heavy sigh, she sat down and looked out at the serene landscape. Oh how she wanted to hug all the trees around her right now but instead she turned to one of them and murmured to no one in particular.
''Even you can't help at times like this''
The thing was, her impulsive behavior wasn't because of the stupid jokes they made, no, she didn't cared about the jokes, in fact she couldn't even hear any of them, she cared about the feelings she felt after, the drowning she felt after everyone watching and pointing at her, the only sound she could hear was her heartbeat, and murmurs, and whispers, and probably them calling out her name too and how Nick and Alicia were laughing as well, turns out she could hear everything, everything what was important.
murmurs, whispers, laughing, they all turned into, screaming, crying and yelling. The memory came back. Yet again. haunting and disgusting memory that Fey was cursed of. The smell of smoke and sound of crackling and popping of the flames followed that memory.
~poor girl, who will take care of her now?~
~probably not Leyla~
~Poor her --e y-u --d--g? She needs to go to --il~
~Leyla will -Il her when she h---s~
~L-- h-r, a---ination l--e --r doesn't d------ to ---e~
Words were mixing with each other making Fey more and more scared and hopeless, frightened and anxious, the way she wanted to twist her mind in her own hands and crush it until it was reduced to a pulpy, useless mess.
Sitting there, looking at the small lake that shimmered in the distance, memories haunting and torturing her, while wondering when it would be over.
She started hearing.
the clamor of leaves and branches echoed around her, creating a dizzying dissonance. But then, cutting through the chaos, came the soft strains of a violin. The music was enchanting, like nothing Fey had ever heard before. It was as if the notes were being woven from pure magic. Fey's heart leaped with fear, for she was alone in the forest and knew not who could be playing such a haunting tune. She looked around frantically, but all she saw were the towering trees that surrounded her. The music seemed to be coming from everywhere and nowhere at once, as if the very forest itself had become an instrument played by an unseen hand.
She knew she needed to leave the forest immediately, but she felt rooted to the spot, unable to tear herself away from the evil music that seemed to be calling her name. Fey...made a step, forward, then another one...then another...she was stepping forward and forward as the strains of violin kept getting closer and higher.
''Are you deaf or something??''
Everything dropped and Fey turned around to realize Alicia was holding her hand and squeezing hard getting Fey back to reality.
''Do you have any idea how much we ran?!! I can't...i can't even breath anymore! I almost visited my grandma in heaven!'' Said Nick who was breathing fast while holding on his knees with palms.
''I-- I heard a violin.'' Fey murmured with confusion and wondering where the sound so haunting disappeared.
''you- you heard a what? violin? in the middle of the forest? - Alicia could no longer hold but still managed to silence her voice.
''Listen Fey, we need to get back to the camp, they will come looking for you, do you want everyone searching for you? they will yell out your name and you will be looked everywhere, you don't want that right?''
Fey tensed her eyebrows, why was she talking to her like a child? like a little kid? she was the one who was younger than her.
She tried to brush off her thoughts as she remembered what she told to Leyla, that this would be the last time she would go to camp. She had to bear it, two more years, two more years and she would be able to leave forever and Leyla wouldn't even call the police, because it would be her right to leave.
Only two more years. Two more years till becoming eighteen.
Fey nodded softly but still throw annoyed glance at Alicia, who sighed out of relief and turned around to get back to the others.
Nick Alicia and Fey were quiet all the way back to camp, Fey was still thinking about that music she heard that made her detach from reality, the thing that made her question that strange experience was not only the sound of the violin in the middle of the forest, but also the sound of the water that went in sync with the music, she was sure, hundred percent sure that the the sound of the water that seemed like waves weren't coming from the lake, but from the underground instead. Every sound, every note she heard, was a little blurry, yet still around her.
When the trio arrived at the camp, Fey didn't even looked at any of her peers as they were throwing eyes at her, still whispering something about how she was always acting like a little kid. As Fey's cheeks got pink she didn't raised the head from the ground, but went straight to the tent and laid down to forget everything that happened hours ago and go deep into the sleep.
''The Third must save the Arcadia'' She said.
''Elisora! Please!, You have a purpose!'' continued.
''We have to find it!'' Desperation in her shaky voice.
Of course this was a dream. Who wouldn't know.
''Elisora is The Third, She must be found first''
''Fey! She must be found!''
As Fey opened her eyes quickly, she looked around her tent, everything was fine, no more voice, no more her and no more scared lady voice, but still something felt strange, she was kind of...alone. she stood up, opened the zipper of the tent and went outside, to get stuck with...nothingness.
They left. Everyone left, everyone forgot about her. No more grey and blue, big and small tents. Just hers, burned sticks that still had a smoke around them and the prints of the cars they arrived with.
As Fey's heart got faster, the sound was rising up, syncing with her breath, each time. Those strains of violin and those waves. She could hear the waves better now, they got more louder and aggressive.
She started looking around frantically.
''Please! Elisora! You have to find yourself! We need The Third!
And now Fey could swear that the voice of the desperate lady was as real as herself, she was in the need of help of someone named Elisora, but what could Fey do? What did she had to do with anything? find her? bring to that desperate lady that called out her name everytime?
''Who are you! Where are you! What do you want from me!
Fey yelled out her questions as she was trying to find that woman.
''Follow it! There is no time! Just follow it!''
''Follow?! Follow what?!''
the music of the violin stopped immediately as something slipped from Fey's hand, causing a single drop of blood to fall to the ground alongside her fingers. She gazed down, both of her hands were colored in cold dark red colored blood that was constantly dripping onto the ground. Trembling and struggling took over her, Fey felt as though she had lost control of her body, consumed by fear and terror.
Fey's screams filled the forest until she suddenly woke up, heart pounding and covered in sweat.
-It's okay Fey! don't be afraid i'm here! It's okay.
Mary! Mary!
Fey found comfort in her sister's warm hands that was wrapped around her. Cold sweat was taking hold of her body.
Even though, none of it was real, she was the only reason she stopped getting better.
Her sister was everything she needed. The touch, feeling, her sight, only those mattered. and she would not give up her presence only to not see her ever again.
Mary was the only blessing Fey found in her illness.