Sofia.
3:47 AM
I jolted awake, gasping for air, hot tears ran down my face, my choked sobs and cries muffled with my palm.
Another nightmare.
It had been a few months since I had one that vivid. It felt like I relived it, the abuse, the starvation, the mental and verbal torture.
It was like the last two years away from them were just a dream that I conjured and that I was still stuck there.
My tears turned to soft sniffles and the light was turned on suddenly making me flinch from the bright light. I removed my arm that was shielding my eyes and peeked through my red-rimmed eyes to find Nikolai turning to me, sitting up.
He scanned my shaking form, worriedly and reached a hand to my face, I flinched away, squeezing my eyes shut.
"Kitten, open your beautiful eyes and look at me," his voice deep resonated with worry and a mere delicate whisper.
I shook my head ferociously cowering, a headache forming, my breathing coming in short pants, palms sweating as the flashbacks hit me like a ton of bricks.
All the indications of an upcoming panic attack.
"Love?"
No.
He was going to hurt me just like they did.
"Breathe, my love, breathe, in and out. Come on, baby. Be a good girl for me and breathe," Nikolai soothed slowly petting my hair.
My breathing was out of control as fat tears rolled out of my eyes.
Nikolai murmured soft notions running a calloused hand down my back comfortingly.
A few minutes later, my tears and shaking died down as I sighed and ran a hand down my face wiping all the remnants of my tears from my cheeks.
Slightly comforted, I opened my glossy eyes to peek back at his hazel ones. My physical need to cling to his bigger form was palpable and clear as my scared self and thought that I'd feel safer in his arms.
"C-can y-you hold me, please?" I croaked out my voice hoarse and coming dry making me cringe inwardly.
"Here let me get you a glass of water first, my love," he announced before getting out of the room in a haste.
I changed positions on the bed seeing that the other two sleeping soundly, their backs turned to the same side and Nial's leg draped over Nadei's leg with his arm over his face.
Now, that was fucking hilarious.
I knew that Nadei would've kicked Nial's ass for it because he's the grumpiest one of them. I giggled quietly, wondering how the hell were they sleeping peacefully with all the crying and talking?
Even, when I thought they would've heard me by now but I guessed that they were heavy sleepers.
I heeded the door opening slowly, Nikolai coming into view with a tray containing a glass of milk another glass of water, and a plate of chocolate chip cookies.
Now, that was how he won my heart at that exact moment.
Just kidding he'd have to do more than that but this kind gesture made me feel cared for and loved.
He placed the tray on my lap and gestured for me to drink the water. I gobbled the glass of water greedily and mumbled a 'thank you'.
"Anything for you, love-" he waved off sweetly but his mood changed and he peered at me tenderly, my nerves gliding. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"No," I curtly and shamefully refused turning back to dip one of the cookies in the milk and munch on it.
I completed the glass of milk and Nikolai got up removing the tray from my lap and I skulkingly made my way to wash my hands in the bathroom.
Splashing my face with water drying it with a towel and proceed with going into the room finding Nikolai glowering heatedly at the bedroom door.
His jaw clenched, eyes hard and lips pressed into a thin line. I ignored it and climbed into the bed, the other two shifting to change their positions their backs facing each other.
Nikolai turned to me, his arms wide open sending me a soft smile full of understanding, my heart clenching at the look.
"Here, love."
I cleared my throat awkwardly and moved to his side clinging to him, my body relaxed in his warm embrace making me sigh comfortably
"Thank you," was the last thing I mumbled before meandering to a deep and peaceful slumber.
And the last thing I heard murmured back was, "Always kitten," with a wet peck on my forehead.
And I fell asleep with an instinctive smile on my face.
-
I didn't know what the hell I expected to wake up to but this, this was fucked up on so many levels that I couldn't even explain.
A warm heavy weight was on my stomach, another nuzzling my neck, light stubble bristles tickling my neck and the mop of soft onyx tousled hair caressed my shoulder and an arm warped tightly around my waist.
I stiffened.
My eyes snapped open alarmingly to find the triplets all cuddled up to me. Nadei's head nuzzled my neck, soft snores coming out of his slightly open mouth.
Nikolai's arm draped around my waist, face first on the bed and Nial that was literally sleeping on top of me, his head pushed onto my stomach and weighing on my squished legs.
And the first thing I thought was,
Did I look like a fucking pillow?
Aggravated, I tired untangling my very very uncomfortable self from their limbs that were warped around me tightly. Their grip was almost suffocating.
Nikolai tightened his grip on my waist when I tried to remove his arm and mumbled sleepily, his velvety voice coming out with a slight rasp. "Sleep love."
"No," I hissed forcefully needing some space to breath and free myself from their possessive grasp.
Why the fuck do they think that it was okay to cuddle their captive?
I heard the other two grumbling under their breaths waking up unenthusiastically as I pushed myself against the headboard, clasping my head in my hands sighing frustratingly.
And I hoped to whatever gods above to give me some patience.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" I groaned meeting their eyes, my light-colored gaze clashed with his jade-green one lastly. Nadei rubbed his hand on his face tiredly groaning.
"Look, we might've changed positions in our sleep, we're sorry for making you uncomfortable," Nial apologized kindly, his hand moving to hold my own.
Fuck, no.
I retracted my hand before he touched it and got up from the bed grumbling a 'whatever'. I made my way to the bathroom to have a shower closing the door behind me.
Moving to look at myself in the mirror, the sight greeting me made me wince with repulsion and self-hate. I traced the hickeys that they left on my skin reminding me of what I let happen.
"Gods, what the hell is wrong with me. People don't fraternize with their freaking kidnappers much less let them touch them!" I growled frustrated and angry.
I undressed hurriedly and swiveled the shower head feeling the water cascade over my form and thick steam covered the glass shower as I began washing myself hoping to erase every thought concerning the three dumbasses ruining my life.
And parading my head with wrong, dirty thoughts.
____
Yanking a huge fluffy bathrobe from the fancy cupboard wearing it after drying my hair with a towel slightly. I tried to rid myself of the excess water that was dripping from my long dark brown mane and walked out of the bathroom to an empty room.
I was glad that they actually gave me some very much-needed space. I truly needed it.
I strolled into the closet to raid it and pulled up a black hoodie, boxers and a tee to wear underneath. As I finalized getting dressed, I heard a knock on the door and walked out to open it.
Camille's tall frame came into view brightening my sour mood. The woman was truly an imbodiment of sunshine, she just reminded me of how carefree I was a few days ago. Not knowing that saving one man would do this to me.
"Hi, Sofia!" She chirped, happy to see...me.
She pecked me on the cheek as a greeting and wished me a 'good morning' then, strode into the room with a bag of clothes plopping down on the bed with a soft sigh making herself comfortable.
"I brought you some clothes to change into," she giggled sheepishly, "I just guessed your size. We're going out shopping later but for now let's go get us some breakfast," she added standing up as fast as she sat.
Sonic the hedgehog who?
"Okay," I nodded affirmatively, my face emotionless but the thoughts of me escaping obscured my brain and a glimmer of hope grew within my chest.
The ghost of smile almost graced my lips in relief.
Camille didn't catch my fast change of moods and dragged me, barefoot, out of the room and my attention zeroed on the small barely noticeable cuts on my feet from two days ago.
We descended the stairs with her holding my hand babbling about some things that I didn't necessarily care about. I could've listened but I wasn't sure if I'd understand what she said with how fast she talked.
It was indearing how she warmed up to me so fast but kinda usual. Maybe it was the mistrust kicking in. I didn't have the nicest experience with women or men, you see, trauma did things to people.
And in my case, it gave me more than one reason to not trust or believe anyone. It was some sort of a defense mechanism against all horrors I had to go through and was preparing me to face even more.
Life just liked to fuck us in the face and tell us to suck it up.
As we entered the dinning room, I glimpsed Nadei sitting at the head of the table sipping his undoubtedly black sugarless bitter coffee with Nikolai on his right side discussing with Nial and Dimitri that were facing him cracking light smiles on their faces at whatever he said.
The men heard our approaching footsteps as they all looked up. Dimitri's eyes were on his girlfriend that let go of my hand patting my back to move to his side and situate herself on his lap.
And again, I blushed embarrassedly, my eyes drifting to the other three pairs of eyes staring back at me with longing.
I made my way to the empty seat next to Nikolai that smiled down at me and I refused to reciprocate it making him frown.
Mumbling a soft 'thank you' to him as he served me a plate of pancakes, scrambled eggs and a mug of cinnamon tea. I held onto the warm mug as we ate in silence.
Uncomfortable silence.
"So, Sof-uhm, can I call you Sof?" Camille drew my attention back to her, her smile unfaltering yet nervous.
I smiled back at the nice woman and mumbled a 'yes' making her grin.
"Anyway, Sof, how has Russia been treating you, do you like it here?" She curiously questioned me taking a bite of a strawberry.
She didn't know?
"Uh-I-I," I stuttered, shocked and frozen in place. Camille took in my fidgety form and glanced at me worriedly but Dimitri averted her attention back to him. Luckily.
"She has just been here for three days, sweetheart, I don't think she's been anywhere outside the mansion--" he continued turning to ask the un-bothered trio, "Did you give her a tour of the mansion?"
"We haven't yet but we will," Nadei reasoned swiftly casting one more longing look my way.
I briskly turned back to my plate finishing my Nutella-covered pancakes and thought over how cool and collected they seemed about this and the fact that Camille didn't-- still didn't know.
I mean would she help me run away?
No, I wouldn't bet on it, I mean why would she? Sure, she didn't know me as good as she knew them but then again, why did they hide this from her?
Would she try to convince them to let me go I'd she heard what I had to say?
I wouldn't hold my breath on it either.