If I'd been outside of the tutorial world, I would have reacted differently, vowing never to use those abilities again. As it was, I had no choice. The fear and uncertainty pricking under my skin were rolled up into a bundle and tucked away even as my chest lifted and fell frantically, and my hands trembled.
I bit out before my uncertainty and dread could pull me back below the surface: "Wave."
Another chunk of my energy disappeared as my right leg swung back, my hands reaching forward. They clasped, and I felt my magic pull on the air. As my arms moved back, the water particles in the air moved with them, forming a small wave that battered at the Bad Apple's head.
The connection between me and the wave broke, freeing me from the confines of my body. I collapsed slightly in on myself, my hands resting on my chest, feeling each unconscious breath as I greedily sucked in the air. I tried to convince myself my body moved unconsciously all the time, pumping blood through my veins and exchanging a wide array of nutrients and signals.
It didn't work. There was a clear difference between unconsciousness and a complete loss of control, and I knew it.
"Ice dagger."
My body straightened, hands pulling back, my magic leaving to tug on the water particles in the air once more. Crystalized water formed in one smooth motion from point to hilt as my hands moved back. The movement in my hands reversed at the same moment I lunged forward, sending the ice scattering at the Bad Apples before me. They pierced the Bad Apple's skin, sinking into the rotten core with a grotesque crunch as purple poison bled down like blood, dripping to the floor.
The ice daggers vanished the moment I regained control of my body.
"Explosion."
My hands moved up as if to cradle a ball in the air. Magic prickled, and my hands shot out; the movement echoed by the explosion. The faint smell of burning charcoal tickled my nose at the moment of release, the muscles in my jaw leaping and jumping under the force of my strain.
In my mind, I could only see the vast stretch of power and knowledge that separated me from everyone I knew. My uselessness was doubling as I was dragged down by the fear and despair that attacked me, leaving me frozen each time I used an ability.
I'd always been like this. Frozen by fear, unable to do much of anything, really, as others did all the work.
Except…that wasn't always the case, was it? A glimmer of light plucked away at the dark anxiety eating away at me. In Heirs, I'd gone after the green gem all on my own, had stolen it and escaped, breaking Octavia and Aurora out in the process. I had crafted a plan to save Sera's life and had led Octavia and the soldiers to where Sera and the others fought for their lives. In What Lies Ahead, I hadn't stayed hidden when the Mayor came after us but had snuck up behind him, ambushing him. When Cove was knocked out, I'd confronted the berserk robot head-on.
Even now, as the fear pulsed beneath my skin, something was propelling me past my fear to repeat the motion I despised with all my being over and over.
What was this feeling? This hidden strength? Whatever it was, I balled it up, forcing myself to use an ability once more.
I wouldn't let myself be held back anymore. Not here, in a simple training environment, and not out there, in the real world either.
"Gust."
My hand jutted outward, sending the Bad Apples flying until they smacked into an invisible wall.
My ability points dropped to zero at the same moment, and I felt as though the world was tipping beneath my feet.
[All Bad Apples have been defeated. Congrats! Do you wish to try again?]
"Yes," I snapped.
[Use Mage abilities to deliver crushing blows to 5/5 Bad Apples!]
[0AP left. Restoring…]
[Ability points restored.]
"Teleport."
It would be a lie to say that I got used to the feeling. Each time, as my body was pulled by the current into position, I felt the profound loss of control. My doubts nagged at me, hounding me with whispers that claimed I'd never been in control of anything. It was only right that my body wasn't mine anymore. They carved and hollowed me out, leaving me empty.
I pressed on anyway.
Once I was no longer reeling from the use of magic or stumbling as I regained control, I turned my attention towards strategy. In the future, I'd need to smoothly switch between abilities and classes, flowing from one to the next without a wasted, human, movement.
They did no damage to the Bad Apples, but I snuck some basic attacks in any way, learning to mix and combine my attacks until the transition between movements was smooth, and the Bad Apples had little time to recover.
[All Bad Apples have been defeated. Congrats! Do you wish to try again?]
In my heart, I didn't feel comfortable with the attacks. I wasn't sure I ever would. However, my movements were as fluid and powerful as I thought they'd ever be.
"No."
To get a feel for them, I went through the gunslinger, swordsman, doctor, engineer, explorer, and thief class basic lessons twice each.
[All basic lessons have been completed. Would you like to attempt the final lesson?]
"Yes."
[Use everything you know to clear the dungeon!]
[50/50 enemies remaining]
A massive forest splayed itsef open before me, the enemies dotting over the minimap. A pillar of light pierced through the tips of the forest, indicating where I needed to go. Branches snapped up ahead, and I ducked behind a tree, studying the paths of the enemies on the map and planning.
Quietly, so as not to alert the nearby Bad Apples, I used the menu to switch to the thief class, to make use of it's quieter and stealthier attributes. I'd confirmed earlier that passive abilities could still be stacked to greater effect, and I used this now.
Master of disguise allowed me to pass as a 'friendly' to any enemy from a distance. Vanish allowed me to sneak up behind enemies, hidden from their sight. Combining the two meant that I could sneak unnoticed within feet of the Bad Apples, and, if I struck from a blind spot, remain hidden even after attacking.
Still using the menu, I switched from thief to doctor, grateful that passive abilities held during class switches. From there, I used a time-limited power-up and boosted my physical attacks with electrolite boost. It didn't do much on its own, but every inch of strength counted.
Finally, I switched to the mage class and crept forward until the Bad Apples were in sight, jittering and chattering in the trees where they hid, waiting to strike me down. I wouldn't give them the chance. Gust knocked them from the trees, doing double damage in the process. I followed it with wave, which smacked into them, sending them crashing to the forest floor, where they were thrown back up with toss only to be hit with gust once more.
They smacked into the trees and vanished in clouds of poisonous purple smoke.
[45/50 enemies remaining]