"Dam"
"No!"
"So Dam."
"I said no!"
So Dam put down the tray she was carrying, which contained Soo Hee's lunch. She quickly turned around and tried to walk away, but Soo Hee was standing in her way before she could even make the full turn, blocking her from going out.
"Just this once, So Dam." Soo Hee pleaded.
"No, my lady. I came here to bring you your meal, and that is all I will do! I will not let you get in anymore trouble, and you will not get me into anymore trouble!" So Dam insisted, stamping her feet with resolve as she looked away from Soo Hee's face, trying to avoid her gaze as the later had begun to pull a cute face at her, with her small lips puckered up and turned down, while her bright eyes rounded up like a puppy begging for a treat. Soo Hee had been at this for three days, trying to get So Dam to go collect her things from the black market merchants, as the items she had ordered from Qing had arrived. Soo Hee couldn't go by herself because she was grounded. After the last stunt she had pulled frustrating her mother's effort at getting her engaged yet again, the older Lady Kim had been left with no other option than to report Soo Hee to her father. Soo Hee made matters worse when she returned to the house on that particular day, way later than she usually did, and her absence did not escape the notice of her father, Kim Soo Ro, even before lady Kim decided to tell him all about it.
As predicted, Kim Soo Ro did not care about the failed appointment with lady In, he was never in support of the meeting from the start. But then, he was furious at his daughter after he discovered that she had continued to disobey him and sneak out of the house, even after he had forbade it. As punishment, he seized her stipends and confined her to her room. The only time her door was to be opened was when her meals were served, when her chamber pots needed to be emptied and whenever So Dam had to sort the laundries. Aside that, Soo Hee was not to be seen outside, not even for air.
Due to these strict constrictions, Soo Hee could not go for the items, especially as her father had his personal servant watch over her door. And this was why Soo Hee needed So Dam's help, but So Dam would not listen.
It wasn't easy ignoring Soo Hee, So Dam was going through hell refusing her mistress. But she was determined to not play the pawn again. She had ignored her duties too much, and she had let her mistress run wild. Even on that day, after lady Kim had pleaded with her, she had let Soo Hee manipulate her into having her way, and she even went on to stay out longer than usual as Soo Hee would not give up on that damned human kite. So Dam felt partly guilty for Soo Hee's behavior. She felt like if she had done more to reprimand her mistress and keep her in check, if she had played her part as a maid, then the young lady would have become a better woman. A proper lady who would be married already, or engaged at least!
This was the reason why So Dam was determined to turn a new leaf and serve her mistress better, even if it meant hurting her a little. Soo Hee had to get her acts together, and to do that, she had to forget all about her wild dreams and unrealistic inventions. Going to the merchants for her mistress wouldn't be a smart move. It would be an encouragement, actually. Plus, So Dam knew that if she let Soo Hee coarse her into going to the merchants, the young lady would not stop at that. She would have more to demand of So Dam. So, she ignored her mistress, even though it was killing her.
"All you need to do is go get the things I ordered, nothing more. I will not go anywhere! I am not asking for your hanbok. I will stay in here. Please, just go get them for me!" Soo Hee pleaded.
"My lady, there is no need for that. If you're going to remain here, then there's no need getting the items from the merchants. It's not like you are going to use them any time soon." So Dam shrugged. "You must forget all about those now. Just be here presently, please. Don't think about the items from Qing, don't think about the merchants. You don't need those anymore. Please my lady! Your parents will be furious if they find out that I went out to get those for you." So Dam pleaded.
Soo Hee quickly reached into the sleeves of her jeogori and pulled out a single piece of silver. She put it in So Dam's palm and squeezed the later's fingers around the silver.
"Here! Tell them you went out to get me a hairpin. Get one on your way back. Something that will look very feminine, with flower blossoms or a pretty bird. Anything. I promise I will wear it. I will go on any matchmaking they plan in the future! I promise. Please, just go to the merchants for me."
At this point, So Dam was tempted to give in, but then, she quickly came to her senses. Her mistress was over-promising, and that was the first sign that she didn't mean a single word she was saying in that moment, and neither did she have any plans of fulfilling any of the promises she was making in the moment. Soo Hee was fond of making empty promises whenever she was desperate, and So Dam would mostly be silly enough to fall for it. But in this moment, she wasn't going to be the fool again. Soo Hee was desperate, and So Dam could see it.
"I am sorry my lady, I can not do it." So Dam apologized and released her hand from Soo Hee's hold as she began to walk past her mistress.
"If you leave now, I will starve myself!" So Hee declared. So Dam paused just as she was opening the door. She turned around to look at her mistress, and the resolve in the young lady's eyes was glaring.
"My lady!" So Dam gasped. "You must not!"
"I will! I promise you, I will! I will starve myself to death, I will not take a single bite of food nor drink a single drop of water until you have gone to the merchants for me. So, you better not bother bringing me any more meals." Soo Hee promised.
"My lady, please." So Dam pleaded.
"Go get my things from the merchants and I will eat. Until then, I will not take one bite!" Soo Hee stamped.
So Dam looked from her mistress to the tray of meal she had just brought. Then on a last minute thought, she turned around and walked away, shutting the door behind her.
"Ya! Ya! So Dam! I mean it! Don't doubt me, I will starve, I promise you!" Soo Hee cried after her.
Soo Hee was also a big bluffer whenever she was in a tight situation or desperate enough. Comforting herself with that thought, So Dam hoped that as usual, Soo Hee was bluffing. She walked away hoping that Soo Hee would not make good her threats.
But when So Dam returned with Soo Hee's dinner in the evening, she realized with dread that Soo Hee had not been bluffing. She found the meal tray untouched and Soo Hee was sitting on one end of the room far away from the meal tray, slouched over her knees, her arms wrapped around her legs as she hugged them to her chest, as if she was trying to restrain herself.
Soo Hee's eyes were sunken and her lips were so dry they looked like they were going to crack. She had barely touched her breakfast, so now she barely had any meal in her system.
"My lady!" So Dam cried as she put the new meal tray down and rushed to Soo Hee's side. "What have you done?" She said as she tried to pick her mistress up.
"I told you I would do it." Soo Hee said faintly as she began to slowly unfold herself like a snail coming out of hibernation. "I told you I will not take one bite." She smiled.
"My lady." So Dam cried. She led Soo Hee to the mattress and sat her down, leaning her against the wall. She hurriedly reached into the dinner tray she had just brought and fetched the bowl of porridge which she scooped up and tried to feed Soo Hee. Soo Hee turned her face to the side, averting the spoon of porridge.
"My lady!" So Dam cried in frustration.
"I said I'm not having one bite, until I see my items from Qing." Soo Hee insisted. She spoke weakly and slowly, but a smirk stayed on her face.
"My lady, how will you live to see the items from Qing if you do not eat to remain alive?" So Dam asked.
"Then, you better hurry and get them soon, before I starve to death." Soo Hee said.
"Please my lady! Just eat! I'll be on my way first thing tomorrow morning. Just eat and live to see me return with them." So Dam pleaded. Soo Hee still insisted.
"If I eat now, what is the assurance that you will go tomorrow as you have promised? How can I be sure that you will take me seriously after I have had your sweet porridge?" She asked.
"Because I gave my word, and because I am not you. Unlike you, I keep my word." So Dam said. After a brief hesitation, Soo Hee sat up.
"Fine then." She said. "I will trust in your word. But if you fail, I will starve for the rest of the year." She promised, then she reached out her hand. "Pass me the bowl of porridge." She demanded.
So Dam hurriedly passed the porridge, but before Soo Hee could scoop any up, So Dam lifted a bowl of drinking water to her lips. "Here. Have some water first." She suggested. So Hee obeyed without hesitation, then she went on to eat the porridge in large scoops. So Dam waited until she was halfway through the bowl before she spoke up.
"I have one condition though." She said. Soo Hee dropped the bowl of porridge and looked up at her maid with suspicion. She feared that So Dam had just tricked her into eating her meals, and was now about to back away from the promise she maid.
"Ya! Don't be like that!" She cried with a full mouth, then she swallowed hard and continued. "You can't change the conditions after we have already..."
"I am not changing any conditions. I just think that there are a few things that I would want to make clear, my lady." So Dam assured her.
Soo Hee eyed her suspiciously, but then she gave in.
"What is it?" She asked.
"I will go to the merchants tomorrow as you have asked, and you will continue to eat healthy as we have agreed. Nothing about that changes. But then, you made one promise earlier, that I want you to keep."
"What promise?" Soo Hee frowned.
"After tomorrow, you will cooperate with your mother, and you must always be available for every matchmaking."
"Ya! So Dam! That is not part of the promise! You cannot bring that up now, after we have already agreed. It's not fair!" Soo Hee protested.
"My lady, you mentioned it earlier, before we even had an agreement." So Dam reminded her calmly.
"That's my point. It is not part of the agreement."
"It is now." So Dam shrugged. Soo Hee eyed her vengefully.
"Ya! So Dam! Look, you are in no place to want to strike a deal with me. You should be happy that I reached an agreement with you. Do you not know your place? I am your mistress you wench. Your mistress! What right do you have to bargain with your mistress? Ya, look!" Soo Hee nagged.
"My lady, I believe that I have all the moves here. I am just being lenient and generous to you, because I care. If I decide to be a good maid and report you to your father instead of to strike a deal with you, I get rewarded. Even if I do not report, but refuse to go for you, your items from Qing will remain there until whenever your father stops being angry at you. And who knows, the merchants might decide to sell it off to a present buyer if you continue being a no-show. I have nothing to loose either way. Rather, I have a lot to gain." So Dam explained with a smug smile. "So you see, my lady. I have all the moves here, I am just giving you room." She said as she winked at Soo Hee. The young lady's face went from being red with anger to being pale with dread. She drew closer to So Dam and put her arms around So Dam's.
"Ya, Dam, you don't have to this." She pleaded.
"You are right my lady, we must not do this." So Dam agreed. "So, let's make it easy. Agree to my terms." She urged. Soo Hee pulled away from her and pushed her in protest.
"Ya! Why are you being like this? We already talked about this before. You said you would no longer disturb me about getting married again until I am ready! You don't know how to keep your word after all!" She complained.
"My lady, I am not trying to bother you. No! I am just trying to help you get ready, in time since time seems to be running out." So Dam laughed. Soo Hee sat on the edge of the mattress, sulking and glaring down at the half empty bowl of porridge. She was beginning to regret giving in to So Dam's request.
"So my lady, do I have your word?" So Dam asked. Soo Hee glared up at her outstretched arm.
"I will remember all that you have done to me when I get out of this confinement! I will pay you back in gold and silver!" She promised, then she slapped So Dam's hand away, reached for her bowl of porridge and continued scooping it up with a vengeance.
So Dam smiled as she sat beside her mistress, watching her eat stubbornly. She was so relieved. She knew that once again, Soo Hee had dragged her into doing her biddings. But then, what could she do? This was probably her destiny. Maybe she was born for this. Doing Soo Hee's bidding, being her partner in crime, taking her place and getting in trouble for her.
So Dam wanted to be a better maid. She wanted to serve her mistress better. And maybe, this was the only way she could serve her. There was nothing else she could possibly do.