Wow these people are loud. Why's it such a big deal to them that Mirko wants me to intern with her? Midnight mentioned that there were heroes interested in me (non-sexually) yesterday, so it shouldn't really come as a surprise. Or maybe they're surprised because it's Mirko? I would be the first intern she's chosen to take, so I guess it's not completely unreasonable for them to be shocked.
I clap my hands to try and get their attention and quiet them down, but it's lost in the wake of their shouting. This class is really unfriendly to people with sensitive hearing. Speaking of…
Mirko accomplishes what I failed to do, courtesy of doing a quick roundhouse and putting her foot through the blackboard. The sudden onset of wall assault is enough to stun everyone into silence, and I give Mirko a thumbs up. Too bad she's too busy scowling at the class to notice it.
"You brats are supposed to be aspiring heroes. Act like it! Don't just lose your shit the moment you're confused about something! If you've got a question, take turns and ask!" The rabbit hero glares at the students while she pulls her foot out of the wall and shakes off the plaster. Hesitantly, hands start going up and Mirko points to one at random. The grape stands up.
"Will you step on me?"
Mirko's face twists into an expression of disgust. "Hell no! Nasty ass creep, I have to deal with enough villains who are like that!" She looks at me. "Can you do something about that?"
I hum thoughtfully as I tap my chin. "I can definitely get him to stop acting like a pervert, though I'm not sure if it would get him to drink his 'Respect Women' juice," I shrug. "But once I pull that card out it can't go back in, so I'm going to give him the rest of the week then see how he is when he comes back from whatever poor hero gets stuck with him during internships."
My declaration gets a worried look from the grape in question, a scowl from Mirko, and grumbles from the rest of the girls. I wonder how they'd feel if they actually knew what it is I did that can get him to stop?
Mirko points at the Iida, who chops the air with his hand immediately after standing. "Why would you wish to tarnish your good name by associating yourself with a villain? Do you have no pride in your status as a hero!?"
Mirko stares at the legacy child with an expressionless face for a full minute before she speaks. "Does it hurt?"
Iida is taken aback, blinking in confusion at the sudden question while I smirk at knowing what's coming next. "Excuse me?"
Mirko's expression doesn't change while she explains. "The stick up your ass. I mean, I'd assume that it's far enough in there that it would be pretty painful, but maybe you're just used to it?"
"""Oh DAMN!""" Three shouts break the sudden silence caused by Mirko's completely justified concern for a student's safety. I mean, that stick has to have been up there since yesterday, at least. It can't be healthy to have a stick up your ass twenty-four seven. Maybe that's why he's always so robotic?
Ignoring the boy's angry sputtering, accusations, and whatever the heck else he's saying, Mirko turns to the class. "Listen up, brats! Flexibility is an important part of being a hero! If you can't adapt to a situation, best you can hope for is to screw up whatever it is you were trying to do. Worst case? You die."
She turns her focus to Iida, who's fallen silent. "At this moment, Izuku Usagi is not classified as a villain, but as a hero student at UA. As such, he is afforded the same rights and opportunities as the rest of the student body. This includes taking part in an internship. Yes, there will be differences because his history as a villain needs to be accounted for, but it doesn't change the fact that he is in the hero class of UA. If you can't think outside the box, then you shouldn't be trying to keep it safe in the first place."
Silence pervades within the room, everyone becoming contemplative on the experienced pro's words of wisdom. I have no doubt in my mind that once they fully understand what she said that they'll become leagues more competent. So what is there for me to do in this situation?
I'm gonna mess with 'em.
"I think you're putting a bit too much stock in these guys," I say. "Big thoughts like that are meant for people with a more… developed skill set."
A number of glares are directed towards me, though I'm surprised to see that Izumi, of all people, is actually nodding along. Fuck you. "Bro, that's not a manly thing to say!" Kirishima frowns at me with his arms crossed. I just raise an eyebrow at Mr Rocks.
"I'm not insulting your abilities, it's just a fact that none of you have enough experience or are trained enough to fully understand what Mirko means."
"Watch it Green," Jiro frowns at me while jabbing one of her jacks in my direction. "We did have to deal with the thugs you and the League brought to attack us at the USJ, so I'd say we're definitely more experienced than most people our age."
I nod in agreement. "Exactly. More experienced than people your age. But you're all first years, which means that doesn't account for much. I mean, how many of you have realized that one of you got replaced?"
To my surprise, Kaminari raises his hand. He looks at the rest of the class who are staring back with clear doubts. "What?"
"You seriously expect us to believe that Jamming-Whey noticed something before everyone else?" Jiro voices the opinion of the class and I can't help but frown.
"You do realize that the mere fact he managed to get into UA means that he isn't dumb, right? The curriculum for even the gen ed student is much more advanced than other schools, and then the hero course's workload is even more advanced than that. So nobody in this class is dumb. What's with the hate?"
The violete flushes at being called out, tapping her jacks together as she answers. "Um, ok. So I get that, but you've seen how he gets when he overuses his quirk!"
"And?" I don't lose my frown, crossing my arms as I stare her down. Yes, she seems cool and all, but I don't like bullies and it's seeming like she bullies the blonde.
She squirms at becoming the class focus of attention, planting her face in her hands before letting out a groan. Her jacks stop tapping and point to me instead. "Look, can we get back to the part where he said someone got replaced and Ja- Kaminari said it's true?"
I side eye Mirko, who just seems to be enjoying the show, while the students turn back to look at me. I let out a sigh before shrugging. "Kaminari, I'll leave it up to you. We dropping it or confronting her about it?"
The boy looks a bit confused at the loop being completed by going back to him like it was at the beginning, but he answers all the same. "Uh, I mean… That's the kind of thing to talk about in private? So our replaced classmate is probably better to talk about? Or, well, not better, but we should switch back to that?"
I shrug in the face of the slightly fumbled refocus. "If you say so." I clap my hands, startling them with the unexpected noise. "Now then, who here can identify who got replaced, and when? Kaminari is excluded since he seems to have already figured it out."
The students get into groups to discuss among themselves, completely disregarding the possibility that one of them might be the replacement and sabotaging the others' chances of figuring out who it is. Not that it should be hard, given how obvious it was that something was different about them. Even I could see it and I'd only known them a day! Of course, that also might just be because I know Himi so well.
She's so cute when she gives people hints~.
Eventually the four groups seem to come to a consensus, and their representatives stand up to face me. Before they can give me their guesses though, the door opens and Tsu walks in with her eyes sweeping over everyone, lingering on Mirko and myself for a moment. She opens her mouth to presumably ask a question but I hold up a finger to my lips and shush her. "Shhh! Everyone is going to guess who got replaced in class today! I want to see how many of them got it correct."
Her mouth closes and her eyes dart back to the standing students. She hesitates a moment before seeming to accept it, her eyes conveying her own sense of curiosity tinged with something more as she stands next to me. It's obvious that the others are curious about the interaction, but the false student takes precedence in their minds. Yaoyorozu clears her throat, stepping up to the plate first.
"I believe that it is Mr. Aizawa who is the fake. Though he'd begun using his quirk on the…" she blushes. "On the man who entered, he was still able to use his quirk. As such, it reasons that he did not actually use his quirk, only simulated the signs that it was being used."
I nod along with her explanation. "That is very well reasoned, and if someone hadn't brought up the teacher being a fake I would have been very disappointed. But…" I cross my arms in front of myself and make a buzzing sound. "You are WRONG!"
She looks taken aback and opens her mouth to argue but I shake my head. "Nope! You got your chance, and you missed it! Next contestant!" I point at Aoyama. "Go!"
The possibly false Frenchman poses, sparkles shining around him. "Tis' obvious, monsieur~. The false star within the sky is clearly Monsieur Tokoyami! During the flash of light, Dark Shadow vanished and has not been seen since~." Said quirk girl pops out of the bird boy's chest, glares at the boy whose sparkles vanish, and flips him off before going back inside.
I wonder what it's like inside of Tokoyami? She's clearly not just sleeping in there, if she can hear what's going on and react. Does she share Tokoyami's senses, like she's watching a show from a first person perspective? Does she have some sort of living space?
"Two down two to go!" I point at Uraraka. "Mochi, I choose you!"
"If you're offering!" She smiles at me and I nod, easily accepting the fact that I'll be getting her mochi at lunch. "I choose Shoko! Normally she's much more calm and collected. At the very least she would have waited until Bakugou actually made a move before freezing him, but all he got to do was shout!"
I raise an eyebrow at her. "And what about her quirk? How would a fake manage to utilize it?"
She doesn't back down, meeting my eyes with confidence. "Shoko's quirk is half hot-half cold, but all we saw her use was ice. Not to mention that you never said the fake person couldn't use the real person's quirk!"
I snap my fingers and point at her. "That's the kind of out of the box thinking that makes a skilled and competent hero! You're wrong, but that was excellent reasoning and identifying of potential unsaid information!"
She pouts at being wrong but seems pleased at the praise. It's adorable. She's like a pet! "And the final contestant says…?"
Iida scowls at me, chopping his hand at me angrily. "I believe that this is an elaborate trick to waste our time on a pointless thought exercise, and you simply wish to distract us so that you can conduct some dastardly plot!"
I sigh, rolling my eyes at the boy while not even dignifying that with an answer. "Kaminari, if you would?"
He seems surprised at the fact no one else has gotten it right, and he rubs the back of his head while looking uncertain of himself. "Well, I mean…" He raises his hand and hesitantly points at someone. "I'm pretty sure that it was her?"
The class looks at the girl he's pointing at, then at him. There's a collective shaking of heads that causes me to sigh and gently pat Tsu's head. "Don't worry, it's not that they aren't your friends, Himi's just great at mimicking people. And your classmates are mostly idiots."
The frog girl doesn't respond other than with a sad croak, which is understandable. I mean, only one of her supposed friends managed to realize that she'd been replaced all morning.