"I'm gonna shove this knife up yer ass!" I whoop as I arch my back, the knife wielded by a little homeless girl going into the now vacated space.
"Missed me, missed me, now ya gotta kiss me!" I laugh, twirling around and putting a table between us
"My foot will kiss yer ass!" She snarls while trying to lunge across the table. I snicker at seeing the utter failure it results in due to her being too short and her arms barely reaching halfway across.
"You'll have to catch me first~."
The chase continues, with Two rushing around tables and chairs in an effort to catch me while I foil every attempt she makes. All to the enjoyment of our audience, who are sharing a large bucket of popcorn while they watch.
"Think we should stop them soon?" Himi asks, glancing at Shigaraki and Kurogiri.
"Why should we? It's fun to watch." Shigaraki punctuates his statement by shoving another handful of popcorn in his mouth while Kurogiri lets out a sigh at seeing the crumbs fall to the floor.
"Unlike Tomura Shigaraki, they are not currently making a mess. Nor has anything been damaged."
"Oi-"
The argument between nanny and ward goes ignored by the others, Himi looking at One with a raised eyebrow. He shrugs. "I mean, the only reason I didn't attack him myself is because he helped me realize I have a quirk. Not to mention that the two of you scare me."
Himi nods and crosses her arms. "As we should," she says sagely.
Ignoring her antics, One resumes watching and I give him a little wave as I do a frontflip over Two, which he also ignores. "But then again… I didn't come away with any permanent injuries."
I nod along with his words while Two seems to grow angrier. Guess she's listening to them as well. And he's not wrong. Despite all the tests we did to One, we made sure that nothing left a permanent mark. Two… wasn't that lucky.
Burn scars crawl their way across her shoulders and down her arms, stopping just past her elbows. There's a full wraparound on her collarbone but doesn't extend up her neck. Luckily for her, her legs escaped unscathed. But that's only for the surface injuries. Part of why I'm letting her attack me like this is actually so I have a better idea of how her new scars affect her muscles, movements, etc.
I matrix duck under a wild swing and can't help but frown. Her arms' mobility is down, I think. And she has trouble fully extending her arms. She flinches every time she swings, -does a good job hiding it though- but not when she stabs. The scarring restricts her joints. Sure, I can probably just ask the Doctor to tell me everything, but where's the fun in that? Not to mention…
I shake my head, deciding to put an end to this. On her next stab I let her knife enter my palm, grabbing hold of the handle while she's still too surprised to react. And to force her to let go of the knife, I have a variety of options. I could twist and pull, step forward and intimidate, just raise my arm since I'm tall enough that she wouldn't be able to reach, etc.
But I decide to go with the tried and true method husbands and pimps have relied upon for time immemorial. The simple backhand.
I raise my hand, bringing it down at Two's face-
And get a frying pan to the back of the head.
"Bad Izu! No taking out your frustrations on the loli! You already put her in a coma!"
I groan, rubbing the back of my head while Two dashes away from me, putting two tables between us in a reversal of our positions. "Fine, fine. It would have been funny though!"
"No it wouldn't." Himi shoots me down.
"A little funny." Shiggy acknowledges, raising his hands in surrender when Himi points another frying pan at him threateningly. "Never mind."
I sigh, sitting down next to Himi and pulling her into my lap. "You're right, you're right. Sorry. I guess I'm just upset about Melissa."
Himi nods her head. "And that's perfectly fine. Just don't be going overboard with the group. Instead just ask and we'll go out murdering some people we don't care about!"
I chuckle, tilting my head up to give her a peck on the lips. "We really should. I know how disappointed you were about how little blood got spilled at the USJ, and we haven't really gone on any dates to rectify that, have we?"
She shakes her head, her eyes flashing with some emotion I don't identify before it's gone just as fast as it appeared. "Yeah, things have been pretty busy. Oh, speaking of, Mirko messaged us for a booty call for the end of the week. Think you're up for it?"
I laugh, loud and boisterous. "Hahaha! Wow, you really like her, huh? Didn't she call like, twice, last week?"
She shrugs. "Yeah, but I was busy and you were off brooding. Our trip to USJ is the day before so we shouldn't have any problems meeting her, right?"
I nod. "Yeah, sure. Let her know-"
"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WITH YOU PSYCHOS!?" I'm cut off by Two's outraged shout as she points at me. "This prick threw me inta a burnin' building!" She points at the rest of the League. "Then you pricks sit around eating popcorn while I try an' stab him!" Back to me. "And then you don't even react to the fuckin knife goin into yer hand! WHAT THE HELL!?"
"Ah." I scratch my cheek awkwardly. "Yeah, I guess you aren't used to our antics yet."
"THE HELL DO YOU MEAN 'YET'!?"
"But don't worry!" I wave her question aside since it's unimportant, ignoring the drops of blood that go flying. "Not only will we help you to train and discover every facet of your quirk, but we also won't judge you for however you want to use it!"
I sweep my arm in a gesture encompassing everyone. "For we are the League of Villains, hardened criminals who-"
"Papa! Mama!" Eri bounces down the stairs excitedly, waving her gamepad in the air. "I beat them, I beat them!"
Himi swings off of me, elbowing me in the face as she does so she can get to Eri first. "Who'd you beat, who'd you beat!?" She's practically bouncing as much as Eri is.
I rub my cheek as I stand behind Himi and Eri turns the screen to show us. "I beat the champion! I'm the Pokemon master!" Her smile is small, but from her it's equivalent to stretching across her face.
"Eeeeh!" Himi lets out a squeal as she pulls the girl into a hug, squishing their faces together. "That's so awesome! Congratulations, Snowdrop!"
I nod emphatically. "Yeah Unicorn, that's super impressive. Especially for how little you've actually played it!" I blink as I realize something, narrowing my eyes on her. "Wait a minute, have you been staying up past your bedtime to play Pokemon?"
"Sleep is for the weak, there is only the grind." Eri rattles off as if by memory, and I shift my focus to Tomura, glaring at him. He waves his hands frantically in defense.
"Don't blame me, I only say that when it's late and the group I'm with wants to get off!"
"And on your streams." Kurogiri adds with a hint of reproach in his voice.
Shiggy gives him a betrayed look before paling when he hears me crack my knuckles. "So~. You're teaching my daughter bad habits. More than that, you're affecting her development. Don't you know that kids are supposed to sleep for at least nine hours a night, or else they won't get taller?"
I smile with my eyes closed and head tilted to the side. "Are you saying you want my daughter to always be the size of a child?"
Before he can reply and seal his fate, Shigaraki is saved by an unexpected shout. "You assholes poking fun at my height!? I grew up dumpster diving fer food! It ain't my fault I'm short!"
I look at Two, confusion in my eyes. "Wait, are you saying you're not twelve years old?"
"I'M SIXTEEN!"
I click my tongue in irritation. "Tsk. Why is everyone I know older than me? I literally had to stab a guy and pick someone younger than me off…the…street…"
I trail off, slowly turning to look at Eri with an apprehensive gaze. "Eri… how old are you?"
I've just been assuming she's around five or six this entire time, but if I'm wrong…
"I'm six, Papa!"
I let out an internal sigh of relief. Good, I haven't been treating a forty year old woman like my child. That would have been embarrassing.
"Anyways, I feel like we got sidetracked-"
"And who's fault is that!?"
"-so let's just get to the crux of the matter."
I look at Two, and this time I'm serious. Seeing the change in my demeanor, she swallows. I speak slowly, enunciating each word to give them the full impact.
"You, have a quirk. It is a powerful quirk, even based on the findings of the single test I was able to conduct." I hold up a hand to stop her objections when she opens her mouth. "I don't care that you were diagnosed as quirkless when you were four. So was I, and so was One. But we both have quirks, and it's easy to prove them. Not only do we have quirks, but they are both powerful, just like yours."
I make my way through the tables, steadily approaching her as I start to gesture, passion filling my words. "We have been lied to! Our quirks were actively hidden from us! Everyone wanted us to think that we were less than them, but the truth is that we are the same!" I shake my head, short and sharp. "No. Society lifts up those with powerful quirks, with useful quirks. We are not the same. We are not less. By their own standards, we are better!"
I place my hand on my chest, bowing as I formally introduce myself. "I am Izuku Midoriya Usagi. The villain known as Midosagi. My quirk is called Undying, and it brings me back to life every time I die."
I gesture to the side, ignoring the way her mouth hangs open in shock at hearing how my quirk works. One steps forward, mimicking my bow. "I am One. I threw away my old name when I became a villain, when my family denied the evidence I gave them about how I have a quirk. My quirk is called Gum, and it allows me to create gum with whatever properties I wish, so long as it remains edible."
I step forward, putting my hand on her shoulder. "You are Two, the second person I've found that has a quirk despite being named quirkless. When I dragged you through one of Kurogiri's portals, we fell from the sky. I died on impact with the ground, but you came out unscathed from the fall. Instead, your impact caused an earthquake that leveled a burning building. Your quirk doesn't have a name yet, but I would suggest Kinetic Transference, for accuracy, or Shockwave, if you want to be intimidating. Dispersion could also work, and would be misleading for the people who learn its name."
I give her a warm smile as I meet her eyes. "The League of Villains can help you train your quirk, learn its limits. We can make sure that no one ever looks down on you for being 'quirkless' again. And if you have something you want to do, that you need to do?" I shrug. "We will help you achieve your goals. Whatever they might be."
She's silent for a moment, lowering her head so that her dark red hair covers her eyes. "...You dropped me inter a burning building."
"And I'm sorry for that. The wind blew us off course from where I thought we'd land. If you'd like to take out your anger on me, I won't object. You have every right to be angry, and I'll do whatever it takes to make it up to you."
"...I have scars. They itch. They hurt."
I nod. "I have scars too. Mental, and physical. I'm not the only one. I truly am sorry for causing them, but I cannot change the past. Only the future."
Silence reigns for several minutes, but nobody moves. Not even Shigaraki, who's been staring at us with a gleam in his eyes this whole time. Eventually, she speaks.
"My name ain't Two."
I try not to let the disappointment show on my face, already coming up with ideas on where we can send her without it becoming a problem for us. Even if she doesn't want to join, I don't want to kill her. But her next words bring them to a halt, and instead a wide grin stretches across my face.
She meets my eyes with her own blazing with determination.
"You can call me… Skyfall."