I cackle as I toss back a root beer, slamming the tankard back onto the bar's counter top. "Did you see the look on her face? It was chicken hilarious!"
Down the bar Tomura and One toss down their own drinks, Tomura still dressed like he was for the attack with severed hands hanging off of him. One changed out of the gag costume I got him, though I smirk at seeing how he kept the fake mustache. Maybe I should give him the real costume I thought of? He did do well for his part, and he even stuck a couple of students to the USJ's ceiling with his gum!
A good debut for him, though I'm not sure if he ever introduced himself.
Kurogiri gives the impression of a raised eyebrow. "Did you just say 'chicken hilarious'?"
I shrug, motioning to Himi who's glaring into her cup of juice with a frown on her face. "Well, sometimes the urge to curse is overpowering, but I'm not allowed to. So I need to make up alternative curse words since I still get the pan for curse-adjacents."
"Hmm." He hums noncommittal before bringing out more snacks for our celebratory dinner. Sure, All Might didn't show up like he was supposed to -until after I died, apparently. Typical.- and the Nomu ended up being unrecoverable, but at least I got to traumatize Izumi!
I really didn't think that it would work so well, but since she's deluded herself into thinking she cared, I bet my trick was super effective!
I push down the little voice in my head whispering that it might have been real. Thanks to Bakugou and the Yagis, I have plenty of experience doing that. And even if, in the infinitesimally small chance that it's actually true, why should it matter? I literally killed myself because of them! What right do they have to act sorry and think they deserve forgiveness! And don't even get me started on all those fake 'I cared' lies she told!
I was constantly missing my first aid supplies, I had to start hiding them so I would have enough between pharmacy visits! I never got a single present from anyone except Shoko after I turned four! Cake? Hah! I had to buy it by the slice after saving up for the month leading up to my birthday and eat it at the park by myself!
Yes, sometimes my injuries were wrapped when I was sure I passed out before I could bind them. But what's more likely; the person who gave them to me helped with them, or my body had done it so much that I could even do it passed out!?
I scoff into my root beer, my good cheer dampened from the memories.
Oh, there was the occasional attempt where someone tried to act like family, like when Toshinori was going to take me to the amusement park USJ. But we never got there, instead he abandoned me after we stopped to eat. Sure, I know now that it's because All Might had to fight a villain that popped up nearby, but he could have come back!
Instead I had to rely on the grace of strangers who didn't know that I had an extra toe-joint. Some off-duty rescue heroes stopped by for a quick bite to eat, thankfully, and took me back to the house. Of course, Toshinori never brought up trying to go again, and I didn't think I would be as lucky if I were to be abandoned a second time, so I didn't mention it.
Makes me wonder how they're doing. They're some of the only heroes I won't help kill. Not only do I respect them, but I also like them. Which is such a rare combination, but at least I know I won't have to hunt Stain down for going after them. He doesn't target Underground or Rescue heroes.
"Hey… Izu." I'm pulled from the memories by Himi's soft voice, and I look over to her. She has a strange look in her eyes. One that I haven't seen in the entire time I've known her. Not even when she walked in on my first resurrection.
Uncertainty.
"Are you sure that your sister was lying about all that stuff?"
"..." I slowly lower my cup, keeping eye contact with her. I only speak after it makes a small click upon making contact with the table. "What?"
She takes a breath as she closes her eyes. When she opens them, they're more determined, but still uncertain. "I think that there might have been more going on than you think. I know liars. I know masks. When she was yelling at me, she wasn't either."
I feel my eye twitch and my hand tightens around the cup. "Himiko. You know I trust you. Most people would say to an unhealthy, suicidal degree." I cock my head to the side. "You know exactly how little that matters to me. But this?"
I take a deep breath, letting it out slowly as I straighten my head. "This is something that's personal. You did not live my life. You were not a part of it back then. You have no idea how many times I came close to hurting myself. To seeing whether or not all the rumors of a person bleeding themselves instead of others doing it for them actually helps. The only thing that stopped me?"
I scoff, forcing myself to take a drink. I'm aware that Tomura, Kurogiri, and One are watching, but it doesn't matter. Heck, hopefully hearing me saying this to Himiko will make sure they don't question me themselves. There's a reason I've never told them everything that I went through, why it always comes out in bits and pieces.
"It was All Might's message. The belief that no matter what happened, there was a chance I could become a hero. If I tried and failed, then it would have simply been because I was too weak. If I tried it and they refused to accept me, then I would know that I do have what it takes, but society wouldn't let me. Either way, I would have had faith that things could improve."
There's a crack and my hand gets wet, but I ignore it, grinding my teeth as old feelings bubble up from the abyss I forced them into. I was done with them! I didn't want to remember that I even felt them! And now Himiko is saying that I didn't know what was going on!?
"The moment All Might destroyed my dream, I realized something. Do you know what that was?" I don't wait for her answer, already knowing that she doesn't. "I realized…that it didn't matter."
She blinks in confusion and I let a twisted smile grow on my face. "None of my pain mattered. All the suffering, all the abuse. Every. Single. Fucking." I grab hold of the pan she instinctively tries to hit me with, both of us knowing that this time is an exception for our usual rule. "Thing. I went through everything they put me through for nothing. I wouldn't have the chance to try. To prove that I matter. Because being a hero? That would have been the only way to show people. The only profession that gets enough attention that people would have to acknowledge that I exist as more than an outlet for a quirked person's frustration."
I suddenly break out into giggling, hunching over the table as I bring both hands to cover my mouth, ignoring the blood pooling in my palm and how my face is getting cut. Once I get it under control I turn them over, letting the glass shards and blood land on the bar. My eyes are wide as I stare at Himiko with a wide, blood-soaked smile.
"When I came back to life, I thought that I would finally, finally, matter. But you saw what happened. It was the same. They didn't even give me a chance to tell them. And that's when a new realization set in." I spread my arms out to my sides, looking up at the ceiling as if showing off a major reveal. "Quirks don't matter. People don't matter. Beliefs don't matter. The only thing that matters, are actions."
I snap my head back so that I'm looking at her, seeing that her mouth is hanging open. "You took my corpse home with you to drain my blood. You cared about me even before I came back to life. It's your actions that made me fall in love with you. And everyday your actions cause me to fall even more deeply in love. Over, and over, and over."
I reach out, grabbing her shoulders, unseeing of her wince. "The only thing that matters to society are actions, so I will make sure my actions can't be ignored. No one will be able to say otherwise. They will see that I matter. That you matter. We'll teach them that not only do our actions matter, but so do we."
My face abruptly turns into a frown as I whirl around, taking a step away from her while looking at the ground. "But now, you're saying that Izumi's actions don't matter. That because she deluded herself, what I went through isn't accurate!?"
I take a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "Do you remember our promise?" I say suddenly. "The one I told you needs to be kept?"
I wait for an answer, eventually getting a quiet yes from her. I look at her over my shoulder, ignoring the way the room seems to still. "Have you kept it?" Another quiet yes answers in the positive. "Well, there's a reason I never let anyone see my back. Maybe keep that in mind, next time you want to think they weren't as bad as I remember?"
I sigh deeply, heading for the door. "I think… that I need some time by myself. I'll be back later." I don't let any of them speak, to try and stop me. I walk out of the bar with heavy steps.
It's not her fault. I trusted Izumi too, once. Even after the bullying.
Never again.
`~`
The rest of the League stares after him, even All For One from through the tv, though he's kept quiet after getting the overview of what occurred. Each of them has their own thoughts on what Izuku had said, but they all share a single feeling.
Worry.
"We really need a healer in our party." Shigaraki's mutter seems to echo in the silence, prompting the others to speak as well.
"I get that none of us are really, y'know, normal, but maybe we should kidnap a therapist or something? And his face…" One trails off, incredibly unsettled. Not at Izuku's speech, but rather…
"I do not believe he was aware of them." Kurogiri states in a calm tone, though the undulations of his misty body convey just how worried he is about what he saw.
"I do not believe that what we saw is possible without the aid of a quirk." All For One muses, his own concern tempered by two centuries of experience. "That or modifications done by the Doctor."
Himiko is silent for a moment, her eyes fixed on the door. Kurogiri reaches out with a cloth to clean the cuts the glass in Izuku's hands caused, but just before he touches her she stands, startling the others. When she speaks, her voice is determined. "There's more going on. I know there is. I don't think any of them know the full story."
She makes her own way to the door, her form becoming engulfed by the sludge produced by her quirk until she's taken the form of a random teenager. "But I'm going to find out everything."