I arrived at Deans around noon. I would have gone in the morning but I figured he probably has not slept very well after the whole ordeal. I wore a face mask and large sunglasses to hide my face. I tucked in my hair into my dads old baseball cap to hide it considering it was a distinguishing feature.
After returning I could not shake the feeling of being watched so I took it as a precautionary measure. Soon enough Dean ushered me in. "Hey sorry I was in my room so I did not hear the door. Did you want something to drink?"
His hands were wrapped tightly in white bandages. It seems to be the only part of him that is physically injured.
"A water would be great thank you." I take off the cap and fluff out my hair. I also remove the mask and wipe the bridge of my nose to remove any markings from the mask. "How are you? Holding up ok?"
He gave the glass and sat on the edge of the arm rest from his couch. He had a baseball in his hands and was messing around with it. "Doing fine, I am no stranger to pain so thankfully I am doing well. The wounds seems to be healing up nicely so I can't complain."
He smiled but it did not fully reach his eyes. "Ahh I see." Truthfully I did not really have a need to come here. I could have video called him or even texted to confirm this but I felt the need to be here. "So I have a question but its not for me."
I sat down on the couch, after hearing my families opinion as well as my friends, as much as I processed my feelings I still felt conflicted. I wanted to wait until after the wedding but it kept eating at me.
"Sure, shoot." He sat down properly next to me, giving me his full attention. "So I have this friend who is sorta in a arranged marriage deal." I knew he knew it was me but Dean played along. "And the guy is nice but she is having second thoughts. I guess its too much and there are some signs that he may not be exactly saying the truth."
Much like my conversation with my Dad I kept my eyes forward. But unlike my Dad, Dean kept his eyes on me.
"So she wants to say something but with her circumstances she wants to wait until later to deal with it. But she doesn't know how to approach the ordeal. From what she has told me, she partially wants to continue as things are going but also wants to stop."
Dean sighed and threw the ball to bounce against the wall. It rolled back to him. "So what does your friend want to ask? What I would do in her situation?"
I tilted my head a bit finally turning to face Dean. "Yes." He rolled the ball between his palms which despite his injuries did not seem to bother him. "My advice depends on context. Why exactly does she want to continue? Also is the guy being a total douchebag or being an asshole to her?"
That was the hard part. The why. Somehow Dean managed to find his way into her deepest fears. "Ahh from what she has told me the guy has been fine to her but its just been a few instances where things felt.. off. Its almost like he knew things she never told him."
He raised his eyebrows at me and clenched his fist seemingly angry at Dante. But as for what, I assume for his guesses on what he thought my words implied. 'I suppose Dean never had the best first impression for him.' "Ok but what about my first part of the question. Why choose him."
It was uncomfortable facing the truth and even more so to say it out loud. "Well, and now I can only... assume... because she never flat out told me. But. I think its more so about age and what to bring forward to the table."
His brows furrowed at that. "What do you mean?" I scrunched my nose and scratched my neck. "Well for her I guess she thinks she is getting too old to be single. Besides myself her other friends have already reached those milestones. She thinks she is being left behind."
"As for bringing things forward tot he table. She says that she is not sure she fits the type of woman he wants. On paper things look great but its more so about the skeletons in her closet that he would never know that could be an issue. As for what those are I will be mum with that information."
I drank more of my water as Dean contemplated my response. "Well tell your friend that life is not a race."
"We all grow and do things at our own time. A painter never rushes his creation. Even if in the eyes of others its ready, only the painter will now when it actually is. Being single is not shameful, your friend is just too good for some bum to settle down with. Having standards is good because you will have a better and healthier marriage."
"As for the skeletons, if that man really loved her, which is the whole purpose for getting married, then they would not matter."
I flinched at his words. "If it were me my person would never have to worry about whether they bring enough or fit my type. Just by being with me it is enough. My love is not conditional. It is not to be means to an end, or for dumb political reasons for benefit. I have yet to marry because I want to marry someone I love with my entire being."
"Your friend. Tell her to not wait on pulling the trigger. That is more cruel than just getting it over with. Talk it out and if he can't be the man you need then he can fuck himself and find some other person to do it for him."
His eyes looked deeply into mine, swirling full of passion and heat. He meant every word he said. I felt my ears flush. The same feelings I repressed many years ago broke out of my soul and clawed straight to my heart. It coiled and wrapped tightly never intending to be locked up again.
This was what I was waiting for and I knew what I had to do.