"Raymond, never forget what I have always told you.....never get too absorbed by your science projects..... live like a human t-oo....." I bid my last farewells that was then accompanied by a loud high pitched beep.
But also together with the loud high pitched beep was the wailing of my grandchildren and children, "GRANDFA-" was what they tried to say to call me from my death as my consciousness faded.
---
Darkness....
Darkness everywhere...until suddenly-
*Baby wailing*
(What's that?!)
*Uwaaaa
(A baby?!- wait! why does it feel like its coming from me-) was what I thought until suddenly, light poured into my vision, revealing a scene of several human blurred silhouettes looking my way.
"Our baby!!!" a voice of a man exclaimed with a hint of happiness and exhilaration. The voice came from one of the blurred human silhouettes looking my way.
"Congratulations! he's a healthy baby boy!" a woman voice declared happily.
(A baby boy??! Me??!) I thought surprised inwardly.
I couldn't speak yet, most probably because my vocal chords and muscles haven't developed yet.
"Shizuka!!! Our boy!! He's fina-" The voice of a man I assume to be my father called out to a name that I will assume to be my mother.
The man seemed to have stopped mid-way his announcement for a reason.
"SHIZUKA!! MEDIC-NINS!! Wh- why isn't Shizuka moving!!!" the man suddenly shouted and yelled all over the place pointing out my mother's immobility.
(Mother?... Oh gosh.... did she die because of birthing me?!) I thought to myself extremely shocked.
I feel bad for this poor woman, but I really can't bring myself to grieve because I could barely even see my mother.
But I guess there is still a part of me that says otherwise. A certain personal and emotional connection.
(This... this is the motherly connection..) I thought with a suffocating sensation deep within my chest.
(I bid you farewell...mother...) I bid my goodbyes to my mother.
"SHIZUKA!!!!!" my father wailed hysterically as he tries to wake my mother up.
My father continued to cry and wail as he holds my mom's hands while she was in my birth bed, and ironically at the same time, while she was in her death bed. While crying, he also asks the nurses why and how she died and the nurses explained to him that the cause of her death to be Maternal death, death caused by birth.
Until suddenly, a sound of a door opening could be heard throughout the room, followed by a shivering voice coming from a child.
"Mo- mom.... Dad..." a voice of a boy spoke as he calls put for his father and mother who I assume to be my father and mother.
(My big brother?) I thought surprised as I looked towards a small and feeble figure coming from behind the blurred figure of the nurses.
The child then ran towards mother and father.
"Mo- mom, is she de- dead?" the child weakly said as he looks toward my mother lying on the bed.
There was a long silence in the room after he said that. Until my father broke the silence by saying, "I- I'm sorry your mother, she- she died because of...me".
"No father... she didn't die because of you!... I know it! She- she must've died because of pooping out this baby!" the child said as he looked at me with sniffing sounds.
My father then immediately responded, "No Minato!! You should never blame him!! He hasn't done anything wrong!! it was me!! I was the one who- who put him in her!!" my father yelled at my big brother.
"You- you put the baby in her!!! Father!! mother has always told me that you should never squeeze in what can't fit!! That baby is way too big for mom's belly!!!! Of course she'll die because of that!!!" Minato yelled at my father at the top of his lungs.
After Minato said that, my father just seems to stare at him for a moment just to begin crying again loudly. Minato then followed him after.
(Hahahahah! This child is hilarious! She pooped me out?! Hahhahaah!) I laughed inwardly.
(I can't blame a child! its because he's still not that aware of many things, but I guess it's hilarious that he figured out I was the direct cause...hahahaha!) I thought.
Unaware of my thoughts, the father and son kept crying loudly as they both looked at me and mother.
The nurses just seems to stare at all of us.
(I can't really tell what their expressions are mainly because of this body's underdeveloped eyes.)
---
Eventually they had to move on and send my mother away to the morgue.
I stayed in the hospital to be taken care of for months and even longer, because I am still a newborn baby. But I guess they made me stay here longer than any other baby because they can't just send a baby to a house of only guys, for development reasons.
I thought that they maybe are training them to take care of me, and it's taking a little while.
---
It's currently nighttime and I'm still in my baby bed beside many other babies in their own baby beds in a dark and comfortable room.
(I could stay here forever, it's way too comfortable) I thought inwardly while in a comfortable baby position.
(The only uncomfortable thing is mostly about the fact that this baby's muscles are still underdeveloped, meaning, my movements are still stiff) I thought to myself.
(One thing I learned from living in this world, is the fact that these people are Japanese, they speak Japanese and somehow I could understand them, and though I still can't see very clearly, I can tell that this world has already kind of modernized, because earlier, I saw a blurred object being held by one of the patients, and it seems to be a dextrose holder)
(Maybe a God has brought me here... Really? gods are real huh...) I guessed inwardly.
I've never been a religious person, I've always been a rational and logical person. And I just thought that believing in beings or things that have no evidence of existence was a waste of time and energy. My motto was to live life for you and your loved ones with your own effort and luck.
I needed those skills and traits as I handled many businesses back in my previous life.
I started from scratch, selling scraps of small gadgets in sidewalks, up until I gained a family and steadily built up my business skills to the point when I have already established my own electronics business.
I then steadily gained more experiences and lifted my own company and my other companies to become formidable. My main company became a worldwide electronics and smartphone production business, and my other big company became a rocketship building corporation while my other smaller companies became supplying or franchised companies.
My past life was quite eventful, full of enemies who wants to take me down, full of happy memories with my family and friends, together with the fact that there was a time when I was almost killed by a sniper trying to shoot me down.
I met various important figures, from presidents, to prime ministers, and even kings and queens. Not only leader of nations, but also other leaders of other big companies, and even powerful aristocratic families of other countries.
I became friends, I became enemies with them. I became a hero, I became a villain from their point of view. Many people hated me, many people also loved me and looked up to me, an average life of an important person in the society back in my previous life.
But despite becoming someone big, I still spent plenty of time with my family, I bonded with them, took them to beaches, I took them to visit the White house, the Blue house, Malacañang Palace, and other important and beautiful artificial or natural infrastructures and areas of the world.
Before I died I'd have already prepared to equally divide amongst my family members my riches and properties. None of my family wanted to kill me for them unlike the ones I watched from many movies. Up until my deathbed they loved me and stayed with me, so I loved them back...
Or...did I?
I have always felt this small part of me, a part of me that maybe small and unnoticeable but is actually a major part of me. A part of me that tells me dark things whenever I experiences stress and frustration. The part of me that turns off my emotions whenever I needed to do things overly rationally. The part of me that temporarily kills my humanity whenever the need arises.
As a child up until my elderly life, I barely felt emotions, I may have gave my family the love that they need, but is it true love? More like superficial love...
They loved me back and I gave it back to them, but It was always the same feedback. Its like someone giving me a box of donuts, and I gave it back to them the exact same, exact number, exact flavor, exact shape, exact sizes and proportions. But another thing is that, I never ate the donuts. I gave it back, without savoring it, without feeling it, but it was more like i couldn't savor and feel it. I had and still have no ability to grasp love, i was in a way, inhuman.
Love for me, was something obligatory, so in accordance to obligation, I gave them their love back, just not in my own way, because I don't have my own way, because again, I couldn't and still can't feel love. And that's why I will give back their love in their way, and it's really surprising that they all thought it was sincere.
None of them even knew that I was barely human, none of them knew that I could barely feel emotions, none of them knew that I was abnormal.
I hid it well, I never gave any clues and hints that I couldn't feel them, I was too careful to never put any ideas onto their feeble brains that I was actually an empty husk.
( I wonder, how I am going to live my life this time... Though I wonder again... How was I able to keep my past life memories intact?...) I thought to myself wondering.
(Well I guess I can't really answer that as of now.. hopefully who or whatever entity put me into this world has a goal, or if even that entity exist, but I guess believing on the latter will make my life easier, so I'll go with it) I concluded inwardly.
(Pondering and wondering and yondering will never explain anything at all...) I closed off my thoughts.
After concluding my thinking session, I decided to sleep, after all, thinking too much will make you tired.
---
Sleeping deeply, I was currently in my dream world.
Looking around my dreamland I could already recognize the place, it was my mansion.
The mansion that I myself am the only one who knows about. It was a big mansion in a North Atlantic island that I bought for a couple of billion dollars back then.
A lonely house in the middle of a small island surrounded by a calm sea, there were some hills but the island was still pretty flat. But its height from the sea level was relatively safe, there were barely any ocean storms that is why these heavenly conditions are the reasons why the island hurt my bank back then.
The mansion was definitely modern, but there were some rooms and parts here and there that was a little bit traditional looking in style, but overall it was very modern, there was even a balcony with glass railings that has its own fountain with the water coming from the infinity pool on the roof.
"This mansion might be a little lonely, but it was still the most comfortable place that I owned back then, but WOW this place - is really detailed!"
I then looked at my hands, which were no longer the hands that of a baby, it was the hands that I had back then, the hands I had when I was still in my 50's.
"This is...."
I couldn't believe that I was currently dreaming, I could barely tell apart what was the difference between my body back then and this dream.
I then interacted with all the objects within my house. Doors, windows, cabinets, light switches, to books, to the beds and bed sheets, to the kitchenwares, to the clock and to even my smartphone, Everything.
Everything was interactable and detailed....actually, too detailed that it was very terrific.....
"Aha!" I then shouted out loud as I had a bright idea pop up on my mind.
I then picked up a knife from the set ontop of the kitchen island and unknowingly said, "If I just use this knife to cut my ha-" I then paused from the sudden realization.
"wait!" I shouted to stop any thought processes going on in my mind.
"What?! How?!" I yelled surprised.
I looked around to analyze what the hell is currently happening.
I then walked up in front of a mirror and told my reflection, "I don't get it...".
I checked my mouth and moved my jaw hinge up and down while holding it.
"I...i...I can't think!!" I shouted out loud to confirm my speculations.
"No I just can't! I can't Think!" I shouted to no one.
"Everything I try to think about automatically comes out of my mouth!!" I shouted holding my neck.
I then looked around out of reflexes and pouched my lips out of being embarrassed of the fact that I'm literally talking to myself.
"How the hell is this possible?! This... this feels weird.." I declared to no one.
After freaking out screaming a little bit here and there, I then came back to my composure and concluded, "OK this is horribly weird but in this dream, I can't seem to speak inside my mind as somehow, my mouth just immediately and automatically voices out my thoughts.."
After a little while of over thinking I then came to another realization and said, " A clock....a clock, I remember seeing a clock" I spoke to myself while walking around in a circle.
I then stopped randomly walking and concluded, "I knew it!!!!"
"This place is not a dream! when I tried to cut my hand earlier with a knife, I didn't proceed but I still felt it, a sharp pain that subsided immediately as I was distracted earlier about another topic.." I concluded.
"This place is definitely not a dream, but what is it?!" I asked fascinated.
As I was contemplating and speculating of several reasons why this place is not a simple dream or not a dream at all, suddenly, a bright light poured out onto my vision and everything was filled with light.
And I woke up.
---
As I was beginning to open my eyelids, I heard the voice of my father saying, "Are we allowed to take him home now?" he asked the nurse.
"Yes! as per your grades regarding baby care" The nurse happily answered.
"Yey!!! we're finally bringing back Kaito!!!!" Minato shouted and chanted happily.
After he said that, I was already awake, and couldn't help but wonder about the name.
(Kaito?) I asked inwardly as a baby.