My breathing is heavy when I wake up. I'm in my bed. I gulp and panic. "Please don't be here Malachai. Please.." I beg, I grasp the doorknob and swing open the door. I scream and run to my bed. "No, no, Rose it's me. It's Rowan your roommate." he pulls me up and tries to calm me down. "Are you seriously alright?" I nod not meaning it. Tears ran down my face. Terrified. "I have daily hallucinations and nightmares.", "Is this the girl you were on about?" a voice speaks up. He looks at me. "This is my friend. Adam."
He walks over to me. "Wow, you look crazy." Rowan kicks him. "Who are the hallucinations and nightmares about Rose?" I sort out my breathing before I can talk. "M-my father." Rowan tilts his head. "He abuses me. This is my only getaway. College is my only time to escape him. But he's here. I know he is. He wants to kill me. Ruin me. Torture me I just can't take it anymore. He's made me terrified of men forever." he leans in and hugs me. I don't hug him back. I didn't do anything on Sunday. I was too scared to leave my room.
So I slept. And ate. And called Aaliyah. All. Day. Long. I was scared to go to class on Monday. When I'm I ever not scared. I don't put any effort. I just put on sweatpants. T-shirt. And throw a hoodie over the top. I can't be bothered to do anything productive with my life anymore. I look at the photo I took of the map that was displayed at the front of the school. I walk through the pretty garden again and into the main building. I hear footsteps but I don't pay any attention to them.
Until I bump into that person. The nudge makes my phone slide out of my hands. I look up. Oh? "Rosette. The girl that got lost." I smile. "Mr Carlsen. Loud and obnoxious strict English teacher." he cocks an eyebrow. "I'm joking." he nods. "You alright?" I nod and bend down to pick up my phone. "Just uh, lost again." he grins. "Room 343" his eyes widen. "I'm covering a class in room 343. Walk with me?" I nod and start walking alongside him. "So. Where are you from?" such a basic conversation starter. I get it all the damn time.
"Jacksonville, Florida.", "What about you? You're definitely not from the US." he laughs. "No, no I'm from London. Hence the accent." I smile. And feel my face go red, "London boy wow." he chuckles. "You got any family still in Jacksonville?" I sigh. "Uh. Yeah. My grandmother." he tilts his head in confusion. "No parents in the picture?" I think of something else to talk about. "How long have you worked here." he studies me for a while, knowing I changed the subject because I felt uncomfortable and scared. "Since I was 19."
"I'm 21 now. 22 in April." my head shot up at him. "Your birthday is in April?" he nods. "What date?" I ask. "21st?" I gasp. "No way!" he looks at me confused. "Mine is the 20th." he laughs realising our birthdays are a day apart. "I'm still older though." he teases. "Well duh, you're a teacher. A student cannot be older than a teacher." he smiles and nods. "Exactly." we reach the classroom and he opens the door letting me in first. I walk over to a seat and sit down. "So. Any friends yet?" I nod.
"3 girls. And potentially my roommate." he sits down. "Potentially?" I shrug my shoulders. Everyone starts to walk in. So I stay quiet. Once everyone arrives, Mr Carlsen starts talking. "I'm not good at maths in any way shape or form. So I guess just get on with something number related." I don't know what to do so I just get out my diary and start writing about my thrillingly terrifying weekend. Exciting right? Wrong. My head starts to go fuzzy for some reason. I all of a sudden feel extremely dizzy.
I drop my pen. I look up to see if I could get Mr Carlsen's attention. But all I see is Malachai. I scream and fall off my chair. I hear running footsteps. "Hey, hey." I can hear Mr Carlsen's voice. But all I can see is Malachai. "LEAVE ME ALONE MALACHAI!!" I break out of the trance. I look at Mr Carlsen. I'm confused. "Who is Malachai? And why do you seem so terrified?" I stand up and start to pack my things away. "I shouldn't have come into class today. I'm having serious hallucinations. I need to go."
I run out of the class and straight to the stairs. I hate this school. It's too big and spacious. Too many stairs. Corridors. Places I could die. I won't stop running. I run downstairs. Out to the garden. Into the dorm building. I remember where the stairs were thankfully. I run. Fast. Up the stairs. I'm hearing things again. It's louder. The voices. They're telling me to run. To run faster. So I do that. I run as fast as possible. I never knew I could run this fast. I finally reached the top floor. I run even faster.
The running footsteps I was hearing before are quickening. Faster and faster. I don't look back at all. At all. I reach my door. My hands shaking from the adrenaline. I couldn't get the right key. I look to my right and see Malachai slowly walking towards me. Hallucinations. I finally open the door and then slam it shut behind me. I lock it and run to my room. Locking my bedroom door as well and collapsing under my covers. I don't know if that was him or just another damn hallucination. But these are always so damn terrifying.
I don't think I'm ever gonna get rid of this shit. Ever