Olivia fanned herself with the copy of a local magazine as she made her way downtown, through the human traffic. It was a warm and humid summer afternoon, and Olivia was burning up even though she was wearing very little, dressed in a sleeveless silk shirt, mini skirt and high heeled boots. Her hair was tied in a tight knot high up in her head, she didn't want a single strand touching her body.
Everyone in the city seemed to be feeling the heat, as it was that time of the year. But the heat that Olivia felt wasn't just on the outside, but also from the inside, as her heart was boiling over in rage. She was making her way to the office of her interim agent, Collins, who was in charge of securing the modeling jobs she often got, and the magazine in her hand was a weapon for the fight she was about to stage against him.
In the past, while Olivia was still working at the Grand View hotel, her agent Collins had always had jobs for her, which she often had to squeeze out time from her hotel shifts to do. Sometimes, she had to turn down some of the offers just because she couldn't make out time. So when Olivia lost her job at the Grand View hotel, she had hoped that she could fall back on gigs from her small modeling career to sustain her financially, while she tried to find a new job.
When Olivia told Collins about her new plan and how she would be more available for jobs, he had been very excited.
"This is great news Olivia!" He had told her. "I have a lot of jobs lined out for you! A lot of the local magazines and brands seem to be very willing to work with you, a lot of them have been asking for you, but I kept telling them that you were unavailable because you could not make out time from your job. Trust me Olivia, I know that being the next top model is not your dream, but now that you have a lot of time on your hands, trust me, you are about to climb so high in this profession and then, you'll have no desire to ever return to a fulltime job again! You have great potentials, I promise, you'll get no breaks at all!" Collins had promised her.
But since that time, Olivia never heard from Collins again. Every time she reached out to him, he always had one excuse or another to tell her. Olivia hadn't been so concerned about it, especially as she was so preoccupied trying to secure a job, and besides, she wasn't exactly interested in modeling after all. Olivia was getting by just fine, concentrating on being stressed out by her endless job hunting, until one afternoon.
Olivia was sitting at the lobby of a hotel where she was attending yet another interview, waiting in frustration on the long line, for her turn to finally get interviewed. The interviewee sitting next to her was going through the copy of a local magazine, and Olivia immediately recognized the model on the cover. The model was one of the few models represented by Collins, and the fashion house the girl was modeling for was one of the jobs Collins had promised to Olivia.
Olivia couldn't believe her eyes at first, so she picked up her cellphone and dialed Collins' number immediately. When she asked him about the job, Collins confidently told her that the job had been canceled, and that he was no longer in charge of contracting the models for that job. Olivia called up the model who had done the job, and after much persuasion, the girl confessed that Collins was still in charge of the job for the fashion house.
So, Olivia was on her way to understand why Collins had been lying to her. It was clear now that he had been knowingly avoiding to give her jobs, while lying to her all along. But what Olivia could not understand was why?
Collins had always been her biggest fan and support. He had scouted her himself when he visited her former workplace, and since then, he had been trying to convince her to give up her distant dreams of becoming a designer, and become a proper model.
"You can always be a designer, any other time. Even in your fifties! But your youth is precious, and this is the perfect time to be a model! In fact, you can create your own path to becoming a celebrity designer while modeling! It's a win-win!" He would often tell her.
So why now? Now that she was ready and desperate even, to do as he had always advised her to. Why was Collins being so shady and deceitful with her? Olivia couldn't understand this. She had not wronged him in anyway!
When Olivia got to Collins' office, he was not around, so she sat at his door step, waiting for him. As she waited, her mind went back over how tough her life had been recently. Nothing seemed to be working out, nothing was going right for her. Ever since she lost her job, everything had gone south speedily, with the flash of light. She had never been this low in all her life. Even when she had to move from one foster home to another through her childhood, she had never hit this low. She was a survivor! She had always been strong and though and innovative, and she always found her way around every difficult situation. But lately, she had been feeling so helpless and hopeless. It had never been this bad for her. It wasn't just the fact that she couldn't find a job and earn money. She was also having a hard time because of her friend Ellie, who she had practically dragged along on her way down. The fact that Ellie too was finding it difficult to secure a job, and then there was her sister's hospital bills which was pulling up, all this was making Olivia uneasy too. Thankfully, the good new doctor was being so benevolent, too benevolent for a professional doctor. He was literally treating Sally completely on loan. It wasn't like Olivia was complaining though, his benevolence was keeping a lot of weight off Ellie's shoulders for the time being, so Olivia was grateful for that. But she also knew that the doctor could not be benevolent forever. At some point, they would have to pay the bills, and this troubled her.
Still, it wasn't the burden of the financial crisis Olivia was in that worried her the most. It was the constant sadness that wore her out the most. The constant feeling of sadness that she could not shake off no matter how hard she tried. She was feeling so depressed, more depressed than she had ever felt in all her life. Depressed, sad and frustrated, as if she was ready to give it all up. And even as she sat in front of Collins' office, waiting for him, that heavy feeling of depression came on her again. Uncontrollable tears began to trickle down her face, and Olivia found herself sobbing.
"Olivia?" Collins called to her as he walked into the hallway and found Olivia sobbing at his doorstep. Olivia looked up at him with teary eyes. Collins quickly looked away as guilt began to tug at his heart.
"What are you doing in front of my office, crying like that?" He asked, trying so hard to sound nonchalant. But he peered at her out of the corner of his eyes, as he felt very concerned.
Olivia rose to her feet and walked towards Collins, tears still pouring down her face. She put the magazine out in front of him and pointed at the model on the front page.
"Why have you been lying to me?" She asked, her voice cracking. "This job was supposed to be mine, why did you lie to me?" At this point, Olivia couldn't hold herself together anymore, so she just gave into the tears and broke down completely.
"Is that why you are crying?" Collins asked. He reflexively reached out his hand to hold her and comfort her, but he quickly pulled back and cautioned himself. "Olivia, it's just a job. You shouldn't be crying over it."
"No, Collins! It's not just the job!" Olivia retorted, flaring up. "And no, I am not crying over this! It's just that I've been going through the toughest phase in all my life, for the past couple of days, and I am tired, and depressed and drained! I have been trying to find a job for the past couple of weeks now, and it's been testing my sanity! And then, you had to rub it all in with this kind of attitude! I was hoping on you, banking on your assurance, and you let me down when I needed you the most! But no, that's not why I am crying! I am crying because I am tired of my fucking life! I am so tired, like completely tired!" Olivia lamented, then she fell to her knees and broke down completely.
Collins watched her crying for a while, fighting within himself whether to comfort her or not. Then at last, he gave in to his conscience and bent over Olivia, putting his arms around her.
"Livy, Olivia." He called to her in the fond way he usually called her. "Look, I swear I am not doing this to you willingly." He said softly.
"Then, why are you doing it?" Olivia asked.
"My hand was forced." Collins said. Olivia wiped her face with the back of her palms as she immediately got curious.
"What do you mean forced?" She asked.
"We should go into my office, you don't..." Collins began to say, but Olivia quickly interrupted him.
"I don't want to go into your office. Just tell me already! Who forced you?" Olivia asked.
Collins sighed heavily, then he looked around cautiously before he whispered.
"Look, Olivia. I don't know what you've been up to lately. But girl, I think you got on the wrong side of some real powerful people."