For the first time in his two lives, Jiang Rong knew how it felt to be nervous. Even when faced with an army of zombies or high level zombies, in the face of death when he was betrayed and left to die Jiang Rong wasn't this nervous at all. But now just hearing the voice of that person in this life he couldn't hide away his nervousness, his brain stopped working with no knowledge of what actions to take next. He slowly turned to the owner of the voice, a youthful appearance. One which was free of the tiredness and ruthlessness accumulated from years of trying to survive in the apocalypse was all gone.
Leaving only a docile looking youth full of innocence, one which he was unfamiliar with but all the same it was the person he had been wanting to see ever since regressing back, the one he had been missing day and night looking forward to meet. Jiang Rong wasn't sure of which expression to make or what actions to take now having seen Ye Xuan, was he supposed to make a happy expression or thinking of the night of their deaths was he supposed to show how pained he was. Jiang Rong didn't know but what he knew was he was both happy and pained, to Ye Xuan who died for him he didn't know how to repay him.
"s.... senior" Ye Xuan whispered called seeing him in daze. Jiang Rong thought he was the only one in a complicated mood but what he didn't know was that Ye Xuan was far more nervous than him. Ye Xuan folded his arms pinching it hard, his heart beat wasn't stable and his whole self was in a mess. His eyes was on Jiang Rong intentionally or unintentionally but he was focused to see Jiang Rong's expression, Ye Xuan had always known that Jiang Rong was disgusted with him and thinking about the letter he wrote to Jiang Rong he was more nervous than anything. His meeting now with Jiang Rong was coincidental, he could have walked away when he saw Jiang Rong but Ye Xuan couldn't bring himself to ignore Jiang Rong.
He scoffed and mocked himself in heart "A..... Axuan....let's talk somewhere else" Jiang Rong broke the silence as he stuttered. He wasn't expecting to meet Ye Xuan as earlier as before even the apocalypse starts, but he wasn't going to let Ye Xuan whom he had been having sleepless nights thinking about slip away when he was lucky enough to meet him early. Ye Xuan's eyes widened in disbelieve fearing that he might be hearing things, how could Jiang Rong address him intimately, and what? Talk to him, he laughed at himself thinking he was going senile and hearing things now. "Senior....y..." Jiang Rong felt uncomfortable seeing how Ye Xuan was being very careful around him "Axuan don't want to talk to me?" he asked in a pained tone. Ye Xuan was very shocked hearing that kind of tone from him, Ye Xuan couldn't tell anymore whether it was reality or a dream but his heart told him to answer this unrealistic yet realistic conversation he was having with Jiang Rong.
"En" he nodded. Jiang Rong stood still looking at him with no intention of taking any action, seeing that he didn't get his approval Ye Xuan said "we can find somewhere to seat and talk...." his tone was very low in giving his approval but Jiang Rong still heard him loud and clear. His mood which was very low soared up at once, his lips curved up into a smile. Jiang Rong step forward to his and Ye Xuan's cart and started to push them heading to pay for the things they shopped. There was no longer a need to continue shopping, to him talking to Ye Xuan comes first. "senior i can push it..." "just follow quietly" Jiang Rong cut him off and said sternly when Ye Xuan wanted to push his own cart.
Jiang Rong paid for all their things before walking Ye Xuan to his car, he paused "did you drive here" he asked Ye Xuan who was following nervously behind. Ye Xuan shook his head. Jiang Rong opened the pessenger side for him and he sat in before Jiang Rong fixed the seatbelt for him. Ye Xuan was very shocked the whole time, he was flabbergasted and was very unsure more whether whatever happening now was realistic. Jiang Rong was very enthusiastic and excited, he took the driver side after setting Ye Xuan up and started to drive. "do you live around here?" he asked intending to start a conversation with Ye Xuan to ease up the awkwardness and nervousness of in the car. "ah.. i moved here yesterday, for a new company i apply for here" Ye Xuan answered in a small voice.
He was apprehensive and very careful with his choice of words, seeing him that way Jiang Rong blamed himself. He felt that he was responsible for Ye Xuan's uneasiness, it was the same in the past life, Ye Xuan always degraded himself in Jiang Rong's presence and always saw himself beneath the circle of people around Jiang Rong. Jiang Rong really wanted to slap himself hard in the face "i see. Did you book an hotel or rent an apartment yet, if not why...." he paused in his words. He suddenly thought of something he had neglected, and that was Ye Xuan's approval and permission. Ever since he regressed back he had been planning for both himself and Ye Xuan but he had forgotten that Ye Xuan was also a person with rights and choices. Everything he planned was things he wanted and he not yet asked what Ye Xuan wants.
What if..... He quickly dismissed that negative thought, there was no what if, there was only Ye Xuan being with him whether Ye Xuan permitted it or not. Jiang Rong had already decided and made plans for their living in the years to come. Ye Xuan just had to comply with his plans for the both of them, he couldn't bring himself to think what if Ye Xuan disagrees. Jiang Rong wasn't going to let that happen, he wouldn't accept any form of disagreement from Ye Xuan. Thinking about all that he couldn't tell whether it was love that he felt for Ye Xuan or self blame.
Either way Ye Xuan was bound to him and there was no way to break away, Ye Xuan was his and will forever be. "senior, senior! Sénior!" he was brought out of his thoughts when Ye Xuan waved his hand over his sights, he turned to him and smiled. "Pang" Ye Xuan's hand froze and his heart skipped a beat, he quickly took back his hand and sat back in the seat honestly. He looked out of the window curious "senior where are we going?" he asked seeing that Jiang Rong had drove into the community of the wealthy families where someone like him couldn't afford to come carelessly. "home" Jiang Rong answered lightly, Ye Xuan's face reddened up from hearing that, he turned sharply and looked at Jiang Rong with his lips pursed.
No one knew what he was thinking about, Jiang Rong grinned happily seeing him dumpstrucked and flustered. They got down from the car after he parked in the garage "let's go in" he took Ye Xuan's hand into his "we're the only ones at home now" he emphasized. The tips of Ye Xuan's ears turned red and his neck blushing red like tomatoes, Jiang Rong smirked satisfied with his reaction and pulled him along as he walked into the house. He sat Ye Xuan into the couch before walking into the kitchen, Ye Xuan who was left alone felt his heart ponding loudly in his ears. He couldn't bring himself to believe that he had coincidentally met Jiang Rong in the supermarket and Jiang Rong brought him to his house, nothing felt realistic to Ye Xuan from their encounter and to him siting on the couch in Jiang Rong's villa. Jiang Rong walked back to the hall with a tray of two glasses of water and a plate of cut fruits after a while, Ye Xuan could see that the fruit was cut by Jiang Rong seeing how they were cut unevenly, he suddenly remembered Jiang Rong's words of them being the only ones at present.
At first he thought Jiang Rong was just teasing which was a surprise to him that Jiang Rong could stand the sight of him and even tease him, but now he couldn't help but think that Jiang Rong was just telling him the facts and he was the one putting more meaning into Jiang Rong's words. Ye Xuan fidgted with his fingers laughing at him inwardly for being delusional 'why would he be friendly with you, he's disgusted by your mere sight' his heart wept. He felt heartache again as tears suddenly pooled in his eyes, Ye Xuan held them in as they threatened to fall. Jiang Rong set the tray on the coffee table and took a seat beside him. "Axuan have some fruit" Jiang Rong urged him. "...en" he answered in his nasal before picking up a piece of apple with the toothpick. Jiang Rong sensed his voice wrong when he answered and his mood seemed wrong too, it made Jiang Rong grimace thinking he must've have done something wrong again.
"Axuan..... are you alright? If there's something you want to say just say...okay?" Ye Xuan's action froze and he glanced upwards at Jiang Rong, he nodded and proceed on to put the fruit into his mouth. His eyes widened in surprised as he bite down on the fruit, before he could have a chance to enjoy the sweetness and fragrant taste of the fruit Jiang went on to say "your letter, senior... i read it. You confessed...." Ye Xuan swallowed the fruit in a hurry as Jiang Rong started to say making him feeling extremely dreadful. His forehead was covered with sweat and his palms became sweaty. He felt tension deep within feeling his heart beats fastened, he looked dazed at Jiang Rong without knowing that he was in tears. Jiang Rong jolted seeing him in tears his tears poured out uncontrollable, he saw Ye Xuan's gaze focused on him yet his was deprived of any emotions looking like an empty case. This Ye Xuan stunned him to the extent of making him loose his cool not knowing what to do, Jiang Rong was at loss forgetting about himself and the will to speak.
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