Alex was woken up by the sound of a door creaking open and then shutting. He was disoriented when he first opened his eyes. He didn't remember falling asleep on the couch, and it was much darker than it was when he was last conscious. He thought he had slept his way into the next day, but when he managed to raise himself to a sitting position, he saw that there was still daylight outside. But only just.
Alex turned his head toward the door to see Matthew hanging his school coat on one of the hooks on the wall. After he kicked off his shoes, he tried to shuffle to his room without making eye contact. Alex wanted to let him, but he had made a promise to Mrs. Montoya.
"Um, your mother called," Alex said as Matthew reached the hallway. Matthew stopped in his tracks but didn't turn around. "She, um, was hoping you could call her when you got back."
Matthew stood still for a couple more seconds before turning around and hitting Alex with his oh-so-powerful glare. "You talked to my mother?" He asked as if talking to her was as bad as assaulting her.
"Yeah, she seemed-"
"What did you say to her?"
"N-nothing. I just told her you were at the nurse, and that I would pass along her message to call you back."
Matthew still didn't look pleased, but he didn't say anything else. He just crossed the room to get to the phone and stared at the wall as he dialled a number. His mother must have picked up almost immediately because soon after he held the receiver up to his ear, he started speaking in Spanish.
" Hi ma," he said, then paused as his mother answered him. " Yeah, yeah. I'm fine... Yes, I promise. My stomach was just acting up this morning. The nurse took care of me. You'd like her. Her bedside manner is a lot like Dad's... Yeah, exactly. Why did you call anyway? " Mrs Montoya must have been explaining the same thing she had to Alex because Matthew was quiet for a little while. When he spoke again his tone was a mixture of anger and annoyance. " Safety concern? That's all they said?... Really? Nothing else?... I-I do actually. Someone... someone died... A student, yeah... I do. Do you remember that boy I told you about? Baptiste? " Alex tried not to flinch at the sound of his name as Matthew paused again, probably while his mother consoled him. " Thanks, ma. I-I know... I will be, I think. I'm mostly in shock right now. I've never... I just thought...Well, we hadn't known each other very long but still... Yeah... I don't know. The police are investigating, so they aren't telling us anything... No, I'm fine, ma, I promise. Just tired... Uh-huh... Conrad said he talked to you... Well, I want to know what he said to you!... Yeah, that's what he said too, but he's a worse liar than you... Yeah, why?... But he takes French... Really? " Matthew turned his head around and glared at Alex while he covered the phone's microphone with his hand. "Hey," he said in English. "You speak Spanish?"
"Um, it's not my-"
"It's a yes or no question, Conrad."
"Right. Yes, then," Alex said as Matthew's glare hardened. He was speaking Spanish because he didn't want you eavesdropping, genius, AJ pointed out. "I can leave if you..." Alex trailed off as Matthew continued to silently glare. "Yeah, I'll leave. Sorry."
Matthew continued to stare him down until he got up from the sofa and made his way to his room, grabbing his school bag along the way. He heard Matthew start speaking in Spanish again as he closed his door.
Alex's surprise nap meant he wasn't exactly tired anymore, so he grabbed his language work from his bag and hopped up on his bed. Since Spanish was already running through his brain, he decided to focus on those conjugation exercises. At the moment he had a distracting habit of reading everything in Mrs. Montoya and Matthew's voices.
Enough time passed for Alex to finish both his Spanish and Mandarin practice. As he was starting his Korean work, he heard a short and soft knock on his door. At first, Alex thought he had imagined it. The only person it could be was Matthew, right? But why would he be there? When the knock didn't happen again Alex figured he was right about imagining it and went back to his assignments. After a couple of seconds, he nearly jumped out of his skin when a series of loud and frantic knocks started up.
"Come in," Alex said, though he was barely able to hear himself over the knocks. That wasn't a problem for Matthew. He swung open the door immediately, so hard that the doorknob bumped against the inner wall. He stared Alex down without saying right away, an indecipherable emotion on his face. "Can I help you?"
"You lied to my mother," Matthew said. Not as a question, or even an accusation. Just a statement of fact. Alex thought he meant about Baptiste. How he had said he didn't know anything about what was going on.
"Do you mean-"
"You told her I was nice to you." He narrowed his eyes like that was the worst possible thing Alex could have done. "That I wasn't rude. That I was hospitable. What the fuck is wrong with you?"
"I-I'm sorry," Alex said, a little confused as to why he was apologizing. As to why Matthew was angry about that. "Was I... not supposed to do that?"
"Why did you do that?"
"What?"
"Why did you lie to my mother?" Matthew asked again slowly, sounding very annoyed. "Did you think I would get in trouble with her if you hadn't? If you had told her that I've been acting like a dick since day fucking one?"
I thought hearing him admit that would feel more satisfying, AJ said.
"I-" Alex didn't know what to say, but luckily Matthew cut him off.
"Because that's what friends do. Lie to parents because if they don't their friends will get in trouble. And you and I are not friends."
"I-"
"I gave you money, and you held my hair back while I puked, but that does not make us friends, okay? So, if that's why you did it... Well, you shouldn't have."
"Okay. Sorry."
"... Is that why you did it?"
"No," Alex said. He knew they weren't friends, after all. Things may have felt different these past couple of weeks. There were no more petty moves or agitations. There was that day when Matthew helped him up in football. All the other times they played, and Matthew treated him like just another teammate. There was the loan, of course, and the way Matthew seemed to care about Alex's father being all alright. Even that brief moment when it had seemed like Matthew wanted to console him. Something had changed, maybe, but... No, he knew they weren't friends.
"Then why?" Matthew repeated, sounding less angry and more morbidly curious.
"Because... because your mum seemed nice."
"... She is."
"Yeah, I could tell."
"And I mean nice. Not..."
"Not whatever twisted kind I am?" Alex suggested. Matthew frowned at that.
"Twisted is a bit of a strong word," he muttered without meeting Alex's eyes. "You just..."
"Just what?"
"Never mind. And why does my mom seem nice to make you want to lie to her for my benefit?"
"It wasn't for yours. It was for hers."
"How?"
"She... sounded worried about you. About whether or not you offended me. She seemed like she wanted to hear you had been nice to me, so that's what I told her. I'm sorry if I crossed a line."
"You did."
"Then I'm sorry that I crossed a line."
Matthew narrowed his eyes. "You say that a lot," he said. "Too much."
"Sorry," Alex said, half instinctively, half intentionally.
Matthew let out a sharp laugh, one that he looked surprised by. Angered by, even. He held up a hand to his mouth like he had more laughter than he was trying to hold back. Maybe something else, too.
"Baptiste liked you," Matthew said suddenly. His voice didn't betray any emotion. "He thought I was wrong about you. That I should give you a second chance."
Did he give you the first one? AJ wondered.
"I'm... flattered," Alex said, mostly because he didn't know what else to say. "He's... I'm..." Alex let out a sigh. 'I'm sorry for your loss'? Really? That was the best he could come up with?
"Do not give me your condolences," Matthew said. "That's not what I need to hear right now."
"Right... What- what is?"
Matthew looked thrown off by the question. After a second, he shook his head as his mouth twisted up into a pained grin. "Welcome back Mr. Montoya, you've been in a coma for the past seven months?" He mused. "I don't know. Something like that."
Alex let out a chuckle that made Matthew stop looking angry for a moment. Or maybe that was Alex's imagination.
"Yeah, I wouldn't mind hearing something like that too," Alex said. Seven months? AJ added. I wouldn't mind ten years.
"Guess until that day comes, we're just stuck in this coma nightmare." Matthew turned like he was going to leave but stopped and spoke again while looking at a spot on the doorframe. "Would you even want to give me one?" he said, so quiet Alex almost didn't hear.
"One what?" Alex asked, thinking for a moment he missed some part of the conversation.
"A second chance. For acting like a dick. Would you give me one?"
"Oh. No. I mean, not no I wouldn't. I- I don't need to give you one. Because I get it. Why do you act like you did? Even at the start. And then... Well, I messed up at the party. You were right, I was thinking too much about what my family wanted from me. Not about the right thing to do. I know I can never fix that."
"Well, I didn't give you a reason to want to help me, did I? I shouldn't expect people I kick in the gut to stick their neck out on my behalf."
"... Matthew?"
"Hm."
"Are you... Do you want me to give you a second chance?"
"I don't know," Matthew sighed, suddenly looking very tired. "There's a lot of shit I don't know right now."
"Well, if..." Alex started, but he didn't know if he should say what he wanted to. Matthew just looked so frail at that moment. And not acting on his impulse was what got him in trouble last time. "If there's anything I can do for you, let me know."
"What can you do?" Matthew said, his tone bitter and way too similar to Alex's mother. It made Alex visibly flinch like he'd been slapped.
"Right," Alex said in a shaky voice. "You're right. Sorry, I... Sorry."
Matthew closed his eyes and pinched the brim of his nose. "Fuck, no," he said, sounding frustrated. "No, I'm not right. You're just... I'm... I shouldn't have said that. I'm supposed to... He wanted me to... Fuck, why did I say that?"
Matthew brought both his hands up to grab his hair like he wanted to pull it out. His palms were covering his eyes, so Alex didn't realize until he saw him shaking that Matthew had started crying. He didn't leave, or even turn around. He just stood there and quietly sobbed into his half-clenched fists.
Alex felt some empathetic tears threaten at the corners of his eyes. What was he supposed to do? Two seconds ago, Matthew had seemed like the last thing he wanted was Alex's sympathy or comfort. But he had apologized for that. Kind of. And he had just said he didn't know what he wanted, right? So maybe Alex should just act on what he wanted. For once.
Before he could talk himself out of it, Alex brushed aside his assignments and hopped off his bed. Matthew must have heard the movement, but he didn't move. Alex approached slowly as if he was afraid of startling him. Once he was right in front of him, he hesitated for a second before bringing his hand up to squeeze Matthew's shoulder.
"What you let me do," Alex said, genuinely answering Matthew's earlier question. "I can do what you let me."
Matthew didn't move or say anything at first. Then, he lowered his hands away from his face for a moment. Fat tears were coming out in streams, like the grief he had been holding on to since that morning was all pouring out at once. Alex almost started crying at the sight of him. Matthew moved forward, and for half a second Alex thought he was going to shove him. But he just crashed his head into Alex's chest and let out a couple of sobs that made Alex start tearing up.
"I just..." Matthew choked out. "I just saw him yesterday. We... we were supposed to... I didn't..."
Alex brought his arms around Matthew and held him in a semi-awkward hug. He was worried Matthew would pull away, but he leaned in harder instead. After a couple more seconds, he even brought his arms around Alex's waist.
"I didn't..." Matthew continued, shaking like he was in a snowstorm. "I never got to... give him flowers."