Oliver the groundskeeper went into town every Sunday to buy his groceries. He was kind enough to sometimes pick up a few things for Alex too. Mostly milk and the spices he needed for his tea if he ever ran out at odd times. Alex ran into him on Saturday as he was leaving the library after his language lessons. He didn't want to burn through Matthew's whole prayer candle, so he asked Oliver to get some unscented candles if he could find them.
The prayer candle was also a little distracting when he tried to use it on Saturday night. He would be trying to focus on the memory and his breathing like he was supposed to, but instead, the sight of La Virgen would make him think of Matthew. Of whether his giving the candle was a peace gesture or just an act of self-interest. Of how he had been acting... different since Monday. No more petty flatmate moves. No more death glares. It was eerie. He was too passive. Too neutral. Too unlike himself. Though Alex supposed he wasn't the best judge of that. He had only known Matthew for two weeks. Not exactly enough time to know someone very well.
On Sunday morning Alex was walking back from a bit of practice on the archery range. The team wouldn't start practice and competitions until spring, but Alex liked to go at least once a week to keep himself from getting rusty. Instead of taking the direct route back to the dorms, he decided to swing by the stables. He hadn't seen the horses since the weekend before classes. Coming from the archery range put him at the back entrance of the stables. The horses back there were only slightly interested in him. A couple raised their heads over their pens, but most were more interested in the hay they must have just been given. Alex was about to round a corner to see Murphy and Popcorn in the front, but two voices stopped him.
"-get you a therapy dog," one said. Alex tried to groan when he recognized it as Matthew. Again? AJ complained. He's going to think you're following him again. "My cousin goes to school with a girl who has one. For panic attacks and stuff." His tone was strange like he was trying to be lighthearted when he was really upset.
"Not the worst idea," another person said. Baptiste. Alex risked being seen and peeked his head around the corner. Baptiste was standing in Murphy's stall, leaning against his side as he ran a brush over his coat. Matthew was standing outside the stall at a bit of a distance. His arms were crossed over his chest, and something about the way he stood was strange too. Like he wanted to stand even farther back but the wall was in his way. "My neighbours had goats I would escape to back home when my powers went rampant. It's better than being around people, but they can be spiteful little devils. These beasts are a lot calmer."
Matthew glanced at Popcorn. "Even her? She sounded ready to throw down last time I talked to her."
"She is just hungry, I think."
"You feel better?"
"Much. Thank you, for coming with me... I know you have been wanting to avoid me."
Matthew shifted his weight. He wouldn't look directly at Baptiste. "I just... I don't want to make things harder for you. I doubt I'm very pleasant to empathize with right now."
Baptiste hummed in contemplation. "I would not say that," he said, though he didn't sound so sure. "Can I... can I ask what is bothering you? What do you feel... guilty about?"
Matthew didn't say anything, and it looked like he wouldn't. Baptiste seemed ready to accept this when Matthew finally answered.
"I didn't... I didn't help someone," he said, closing his eyes as if pained by the memory. "He got hurt, but I was too scared and... God, I'm such a hypocrite."
"Hypocrite?"
"Nothing."
"Have you apologized?"
"That won't change what happened."
"But it could change what can happen. Comprenez vous ?"
"He doesn't know what I did. Or, what I didn't do. And I'm too chickenshit to tell him."
"You feel guilty about not helping, and about not telling."
"Yeah."
"It is too much guilt, Matthew. You have enough weighing on your heart. Talk to him. I am sure he will understand."
"You don't even know who he is."
"I have an idea."
"Of course, you do."
"He is kind, Matthew. He wants to make things right with you too. And I did not need my powers that night to know that despite your best efforts you enjoyed talking to him."
"Enjoy is a bit of an exaggeration-"
"Matthew."
"Fine," Matthew huffed like a child being caught in a lie. "It was alright while it lasted, I guess."
"There is no reason it cannot start again."
Are they talking about you? AJ asked. What does he mean, you got hurt?
Maybe he's talking about someone else, Alex thought back.
"You just think he's cute," Matthew said, smiling for the first time.
"And?" Baptiste said, not sounding embarrassed at all. He raised an eyebrow and smiled at Matthew like he was issuing a challenge. "So do you."
"I do not!" Matthew said in a way that made it sound like he did.
Oh, yeah, AJ said with absolute confidence. They're not talking about you.
"It is okay," Baptiste said as Matthew tried to look less flustered than he was. "I am not jealous. He is very, very handsome."
"... Should I be jealous?"
"Hm. Maybe. If you do not hurry up and make a move, I may be persuaded into the arms of another."
"Nothing stopping you from making the first move, genius."
"I prefer to be wooed."
"Yeah? How?"
"Hm. Fleurs. Et chocolat. Comprenez-vous ? "
"Yes, I understand, oh patronizing one. You know, you don't hear me giving you shit for being shit at Spanish."
"I am just now learning. What is it... Floras y chocolate. Cómprame floras y chocolate. "
"That is very demanding of you."
"Yes. I am very high maintenance."
"I see that."
"Still interested?"
"Yes," Matthew said without hesitation.
"Make your move, then."
"Flowers and chocolate, huh? Isn't that a bit... cliché?"
"They are classics for a reason."
"A dozen roses and a little heart-shaped box?"
"My favourite is poppies. Red poppies."
"I'll remember that."
"Feel free to get more creative, since I am too simple apparently. I like many foods and sweets."
"Croissants?" Matthew asked in an exaggerated French accent. Baptiste rolled his eyes.
"So long as they are not mouldy."
"They were not mouldy!"
"My affection will be harder to win than your fraudulent A."
"I'm gonna get you artisanal shit. Parisian shit. Frencher and fresher than you've ever had before."
"I look forward to it," Baptiste said around another chuckle.
You should leave, creep, AJ said. Alex wasn't inclined to argue. He should have left as soon as he realized they were in there. He didn't know why he didn't. Maybe because it was nice to see Baptiste enjoying himself. Using the animals to keep himself from feeling people's emotions was a good idea. Alex hoped it would help him find a long-term solution.
Alex backed away from the corner before he could be seen and returned the way he came. When he got back to the dorm there was a grocery bag with the few things Oliver had gotten for him. He picked it up as he walked inside and took out the small pack of candles Oliver managed to find. He placed them on the coffee table and grabbed the prayer candle to take it back to Matthew's room. He didn't know if Matthew would be upset about him going in there without permission. So, he just left it in the corner of the hallway, right next to the doorway.
As he walked away, he looked back, unsure if that was the right place to put it. He noticed it almost looked like one of those memorial shrines. Like the kinds you would find laid out on a street corner for someone who had died there. It unsettled him for a moment, but he shook off the feeling and walked into his room to finish his school assignments.