"My name is Silimoore Wintson I'm 16 years old and I am 100% a guy. My mom named me Silimoore because she wanted a girl but instead got me, who is not a girl. I kind of like the name though, she said it means soothing star in the language of her hometown. Ah, well maybe I've been raised so I'd like such things, oh well.
My dad abused me and my mother eventually leading to her death, I think I was raped like at least once or twice by him? Anyways it's too bad he died in a car accident because I honestly wanted to kill him myself. Hmm.. let's see what else.. oh yeah.
My relatives took custody of me and while they weren't as bad as my dad they were still really fucking lazy, and couldn't bother to take care of me. My cousins bullied me and as I grew older it got worse, they left me outside once but I honestly don't think it was that bad.
I think the bullying got worse around the time when I was supposed to take my aptitude test, I was around 13 if I remembered correctly. And it's probably already obvious how well it did! A fucking F rank, almost so low I would have been classified as having no aptitude, well It's the same thing for me because I would have been bullied anyways.
Humans can be so cruel ya know? I know there's good in the world somewhere but I'm just too tired to look for it. I'm just too tired to do anything, it's honestly a surprise how I managed to climb all the way up here.
And well, I guess that's it, plenty of other stuff has happened to me but it's honestly not worth mentioning…
Oh yeah! And guess what?
This is my 50th fucking attempt."
And then he fell, Silimoore felt like time had slowed down, everything he saw seemed to be very detailed and beautiful, his heart was at peace. 'I though I would be scared now that I actually know it's gonna happen, but I feel so nice and warm inside.' He thought. Tears began to well up in his eyes until he broke out into a crying fit. All his suffering and grievances would disappear, he could finally rest forever.
"Ah. I hope I never wake up." He said smiling with his eyes closed.
.
.
.
.
He'd been falling for quite a while now, in fact he felt as if he was laying on something hard, it felt a little bit like asphalt…
Silimoore opened his eyes with confusion written all over his face. ???
'Could it be this is hell? I did kill myself after all… Was hell always so bright? And gray.. and…
Abandoned-like????!!!!!!' Silimoore immediately sat up in shock. And that shock soon turned into despair.
"No this can't be happening, I even planned everything to the tiniest detail…" He was too flabbergasted to even be angry or sad. "Shit, why does this world even care about me being alive or not!? Why won't you just let me die!! Die die die die die die-" Silimoore slammed his head multiple times on the hard asphalt floor, blood coated his entire body because of the fall, yet he still had enough strength to try another suicide attempt right after his last one.
"C-could it be that I'm just too beautiful to die..?" He said as he laid on the ground, clearly not in his right mind.
[Ding!]
"???"