control his emotions anymore; he wanted to cry but he couldn't. His heart had stopped beating when she had touched him, and he was terrified that he might lose control of his feelings once more.
Suddenly, his eyes flew open as realization finally dawned on him.
The woman…she must have felt that something was wrong.
And that had made him panic.
Shaking his head vigorously, he tried desperately to calm himself down and clear his mind. He needed to focus. He needed to stay calm.
But how was he supposed to remain calm when he saw that woman again? How was he supposed to hide the tears that threatened to spill from his eyes again? How was he supposed to pretend that he was alright with their situation? And more importantly, how was he supposed to convince himself that he was fine when he was so far from it? Because he clearly wasn't.
Hearing the bedroom door opening he quickly sat up, trying his best to act normal.
"Hey, mom. What's wrong?" he asked as his gaze moved from side to side, searching for whatever danger had entered the room. He relaxed when he saw his mother standing by the doorway. As she noticed his concern, she smiled and approached him.
"Nothing, son. Nothing at all. I'm just coming in to check on you. Make sure you get enough sleep. I know you haven't been getting much lately."
'Yeah, probably because you aren't letting me take care of myself.'
"Thanks, mom." He replied quietly as she placed a kiss on the top of his head before turning away and walking towards the window. As he watched her leave the room, he couldn't help but feel slightly hurt. She obviously cared about him, but he didn't understand why. Wasn't it obvious that she still thought of him like a child, despite the fact that he was almost twenty years old and that he had grown taller than her during the last couple of weeks? Or maybe it was just because she didn't know the truth. Maybe she thought that he was still that little boy who used to follow her around and listen to everything she said.
Maybe she thought that he wasn't strong enough yet.
He shook his head, attempting to rid himself of these thoughts. He wouldn't allow himself to think such things. If he allowed himself to dwell on those thoughts then nothing else would be possible, and he would definitely break down and cry again. That had happened the last time too, and it had nearly broken him completely.