--- this is a scene where Amachi remembers he past life in the dreams ---
The Choral Song I Heard at the Graduation Ceremony
The choral song "Heart's Eye" was playing at the graduation ceremony. Scenes from my life that had left an impression on me flashed back. I, who had just graduated, was in a deep sleep. It was like I was recalling memories from a past life, and I was looking at them from a detached perspective.
"You're always useless!!" The usual threats were hurled at me, and the documents I had created were thrown in front of me. "I'm sorry," I muttered, and I cleared my mind to make it through another day. I was constantly being bullied, scolded, and insulted. It was a daily routine that was wearing me out, and my heart felt like it was being rubbed raw. I began to wonder what was the point of living this way.
I was one of many in the bustling crowds, just another background character in the swarm of people. Late into the night, the tall buildings were lit up, and I was tormented by loneliness in this place where the stars were invisible. There were so many people, yet I was alone. I was all by myself in this world.
"I'm someone who's not needed in this world," I realised. There was no one, not my family, my loved ones, friends, benefactors, nor respected individuals who I could count on. I couldn't even perform my job satisfactorily. I couldn't even become one of the necessary parts in this world's machinery.
I was unable to fulfil even the basic role in this world. I was tired of walking through life. I wanted to collapse on my knees and close my eyes forever. I wanted to disappear into nothingness. If there was anything that I, who felt helpless and defeated by my life, could do, then I wished to know what it was.
"If there is a second life"
could I become someone who can live for the sake of others?
I may not be a noble person...I am nothing but a mere existence.
The news that flows every day is filled with tragic events and accidents, giving off a sense of despair. Since I have no power, there is nothing I can do for those who are involved in such events and accidents. I avoided looking at them, thinking it was someone else's problem.
I have neither the capacity nor the power to assist strangers on the other side of the world.
But still!
The heroes of justice that I admired in my childhood saved those people. In fiction, there are people who are saved. But reality is cruel, merciless, and heartless. Real life is harsh and brutal. There are no heroes of justice. Even if there were, they would be destined to be erased by the villains and the world.
There is nothing that we weak, ordinary people can do. We have been forced to become domesticated dogs who find small happiness in this false order world.
However, I cannot help but dream. If only I had the power to save someone's life, if only I had the power to see the future...
"I want to save someone and then die."
In the end, I may be selfish and arrogant, but I will be satisfied with my death.
My heart had already been worn out from the harsh life and was already dead.
---Fade to black---
The footage changed like changing a TV channel.
I joined my hands in front of a gravestone and closed my eyes.
"What do you think happens to people when they die?"
Suddenly, the monk asked such a question.
"Well, they just return to energy, don't they? Calories. Or maybe joules? Humans are living creatures that operate with mechanical motion based on energy, after all. Come to think of it, everything in the universe will eventually return to nothingness."
"Unbelievable. Don't you have any emotions?"
"I come from a natural science background. Talking about things like heaven, hell, and reincarnation is absurd. Besides, this kind of ritual has become nothing but a formality."
With a flick of my hand, I stood up and smirked. I loosened my tie, which was part of my mourning attire.
"You're just making excuses... Aren't you sad?"
"Give me a break. Of course, I have feelings of compassion for the deceased. But as living beings, we can only continue moving forward, even while reflecting on the past."
"You're contradicting yourself."
"How so?"
"You're eloquently making excuses, yet you're still wearing mourning attire and praying with folded hands. You seem to be carrying more of the past than anyone else. You seem regretful."
"Enough already."
.
.
.
I was daydreaming. For a while, chaos continued. I was doing something in my dream. I was facing a huge shadow with several others. The sky was blood-red like hell.The land was barren, with a wasteland stretching out.There were countless piles of corpses.
I started running, already beaten up, I couldn't catch my breath. Pain coursed through my body, so intense it felt like I was going mad.
My limbs were starting to rot,I gritted my teeth and walked, tears in my eyes, but I couldn't stop.
I couldn't afford to stop.
"Sharpen the eyes of your mind. I still have..." There was still something I could do.
"...faith in tomorrow! Come, my final comet!" Seven-colored magic. Red, blue, green, yellow, orange, indigo, and violet. Dull silver light mixed with seven-colored magic.A rainbow enveloped the area, giving all weapons that would be fired soon a shining brilliance.
"You're lucky. This is the Megashuva's ultimate technique. You can see the deepest depths of it."
The one thousand weapons were dyed colorless as if all the colors in nature had mixed together.
"Don't underestimate me! This is my trump card! The blade that cuts through darkness, Silver Bullet!"
A column of light appeared behind me, and a huge crack appeared in the burning red sea of clouds. Sunlight shone in through the crack.
A rain of colorless swords tore through the massive shadow. The sunlight that shone in burned the shadow.
The shadow was cut up, burned, and let out a dying scream. I ran and leaped.
I held a strange, magical sword that emitted a twisted light in my hand and plunged it into the forehead of the massive shadow...
-Instant-
-A flash of swordlight shone-
I woke up abruptly. I had awoken.
"Where am I? Who am I?" Let's leave those questions aside for now.
"Seriously, where am I? What was I doing?" I found myself standing in the middle of a crowd, having awakened there.
"Sleepwalking? No way. That's funny."
I don't remember how I got here. I have no memory. I feel like I was wandering around in a dream, but I don't remember anything.
"What's wrong?"
"Huh?" I was approached by a voice from beside me.
I slowly moved my gaze and tilted my head. The person who spoke to me was an unfamiliar girl.
... Who is she?
"You were muttering weird things and staring off into space. What's wrong?"
"Who are you?"
"Ah, damn. You've gone crazy again. Is that normal for you?... Oh, right. This is as far as I go. You had something you needed to do, right?" The girl looked sad and forced a smile while looking down.
"No, it might be okay like this. I'm a little sad, but we'll meet again."
"Um, what happened? Are you okay?"
I was flustered by the girl in front of me, who seemed about to burst into tears. The small girl took a deep breath and lifted her face.
"You'll always be one of us. It's just a temporary farewell. I have to leave because something strange would happen if I stayed. Until then, don't cheat on us! You pervert!"
She kicked my shins with all her might.
"Ouch!?"
"Bye then! ...Suguru. Thank you. I'm glad I met you." She said something incomprehensible and then ran off, disappearing into the crowd.
"Ha?"
I stood there, completely stunned and unable to do anything. I felt like I had been attacked by a thug.
.
.
.
For a whole day, it seemed like I had been wandering around like a sleepwalker, with no consciousness of what was happening. The last thing I remember is drinking the tea that Maria gave me.
After that, my memories are completely blank. It seems that I was with a mysterious girl during that time. I was terrified of myself.
I feel like I have finally reached the end. And on top of that, it seems that I skipped the written test on the first morning of the exam. I rushed back to school and, despite the surprise of Maria, Nikubu, and Garino, I took my designated seat.
"If I don't adjust my score...I'll be expelled. Do I have no choice but to get a perfect score from now on?" I know the content of the exam is in my head.
It's a bit confusing, but I can handle it. Stay calm, me. There's a class competition this weekend.
Before that, I decided to concentrate on the test in front of me, sweating nervously.