"Odr?" Freya said as she continued to clutch the boy to her bosom while they watched the waves.
"Yes?" Lyze answered as he leaned back into her and looked up at her face.
"You once said to me that us gods also existed in your world. And that we were quite different in several ways. I'm not interested in the others but..."
"You want to know about your story?" Lyze asked, even though he already knew the answer." Freya's silence was his confirmation. "Are you sure that you want to hear it?"
"Are you afraid that I might not like the answer?"
"You will not like the answer regardless. Because Freya, there has never ever been a happy ending for you in our folklore to my knowledge. Every story of the goddess Freya, even if it started off happy, just ended in misery to be honest. Even with all the good she did, and how much she was revered and loved, fate always seemed to have it out for her."
Freya tensed for a moment upon hearing that. These were the exact words she had been fearing to hear. Because it was not like her story was any different. Her life had begun in happiness, only for it to be torn away by others and for all this time she had walked in both heaven and earth seeking that happiness, to gain it back or to find something even better at the expense of others.
But nonetheless she wanted to know what it was about her other self, about any preconceived notion that Lyze had of her due to the tales he'd heard in his own world. If there was anything bad of that woman's character that was in her, then she would strive to eliminate it. No soul had come along that was as vibrant and heart-capturing as Lyze's.
His soul was just so unique even when you put aside Chaos. It radiated power and magnificence, bolstered by both good an evil. It did not fall upon either side of the spectrum but stayed in the grey area of the two concepts, fully embracing the reality of what they were. Everyone was inherently good and bad, and both were necessary for survival. Sometimes you had to be good to others and sometimes you had to do bad things to bring forth the greater good.
His soul was the perfect picture of life. It embraced if fully...like it was the very image of free will. And it was that kind of freedom that allured her. Ironic as it was, she had to follow her nature no matter what because that was what she embodied. Whereas mortals had the choice to be whatever it was they wanted to be, even if there were consequences of that choice. It was a gift they took too much for granted and wasted away.
"Could you tell me her story?" Freya asked. Lyze looked back at the sea and got comfortable once more.
"Well it is a bit complicated." Lyze said. "For starters, there are several different variations of her story but two are very forefront. And both are equally as effed up as the other. I personally like the second one more. Which one do you want to hear?"
"The first. If the second story is more pleasant, I'd be much happier ending on that one's note."
"Very well. Now there is a point of dispute in Norse Mythology. You see there was Freya, and then there was Frigg. Both of them very similar to the point where there was almost no difference between them. We couldn't verify which was the real name of this common divine figure between the different Viking tribes. Some historians of my time eventually conceded that both people were one and the same...but for a very sinister purpose."
"Sinister? What evil would that serve?"
"Because both of these were married to that sadistic bastard Odin." Freya's fingers drew tight out of horrified reflex. Her fingers however, dug into Lyze's skin instead of clothes as she usually expected and Lyze did not need to turn around to see her expression of mixed petrification and disgust, not when he had the vision of Chaos. "You can see why I don't like this story. It is theorized that Freya had been her birth name, and she was one of the most well known Vanir gods. Do you have those distinctions here?"
"...Yes, we do. We have the World Tree as well."
"But isn't Tenkai supposed to be one massive place for all of you to coexist in?"
"It is. But think of it as...different dimensions for each pantheon existing on the same piece of land. Where our borders ended was where our Laws stopped being applied and instead gave way to the jurisdiction of whatever Pantheon was ruling in that bubble. That's as simple as I can give it."
'So it's like God of War. My theory was right.' Lyze thought. And coming to that subject, perhaps he should even include that story as well. Because that piece of fiction may also be a reality at this point if something as ludicrous as Danmachi was now suddenly real.
"Well, anyway. It was speculated that 'Frigg' was a name that Odin gave to Freya when they got married. Under the guise of a pet name, it's real purpose was to disconnect Freya from her Vanir heritage. The Aesir were always at the throats of other realms and besides the giants, their only real competition were the Vanir. His marriage to Freya, a goddess desired by all men, gods and giants due to her extreme beauty, was a way of truce and treaty between the two warring people.
But of course, Odin could not allow anything good and great done by the Aesir to be attributed in any small way to a Vanir goddess. So whatever great thing she did, instead of being credited to Freya, would be credited to Frigg. Evil, conniving bastard wouldn't you say?"
"Indeed." Freya said as her blood began to heat up, as calm as she was trying to stay for her Odr. "It sounds just like him too."
"You can't really tell if Freya was happy in that marriage at all to Odin. But what joy she did have was the children she birthed by him. There was Hermod, the messenger of the Aesir, who shared a very similar name and history with Hermes, My people considered them both the equivalent of each other given that both religions came from the same area and both names were probably derivatives of the forgotten name of the original god. But regardless, Hermod was his name. Then there was Hod, a blind god of night and darkness who I'll come back to later for good reason.
And then there was Baldr, Freya's firstborn and the apple of her eye. For he was a god of beauty and wisdom and light. He was the most perfect of ALL the gods, beyond a doubt. Someone in my world once said that the firstborn son is a mother's last true love. And it fit perfectly with Freya and Baldr.
But like I said, her stories are full of misery. Because Loki the god of evil and mischief, who is predominantly a male in my world's mythology, had Baldr killed. Baldr himself foresaw his death in a dream, and out of terror and love for her son, Frigg demanded an oath from every object and every creature in existence that they would never harm Baldr. And so he became invulnerable to everything...all but the mistletoe because she believed that it was too fragile a thing to be able to harm him. The trouble was that Loki had followed her when she was doing this, and out of his great jealousy of Baldr discovered what would be his one weakness.
And thus Loki tricked Hod, Baldr's younger brother, to kill his own eldest brother by hurling mistletoe at him. I don't know much of what happened to Freya after that but it was the beginning of something very terrible, because in several iterations, Baldr's death was the signal of the beginning of one thing...Ragnarok. The end of the realms. I imagine that even if she found no happiness after her son's death, she would not have lived long after it anyway."
Freya by now was trembling a little at how horrible that story was. The idea of children of her own was tantalizing enough, especially that firstborn son...
"Baldr." Freya repeated wistfully. "That's a lovely name. I myself would definitely want a begotten son called that."
"And tempt fate even after what I have told you?"
"You are a child of Loki, my Odr. And even though I know her much better than you, and I can say for certain that doing what she did in your world would be the last thing she'd ever do...from your own experiences, do you think she would do it?"
"No." Lyze said. "She's definitely trouble and mischief...but she could not do all that. Still though, I didn't expect you to be taken by that name so much. In my opinion, it isn't all that..."
"But it's a wonderful name." Freya argued as the very word itself suddenly sounded like music to her ears. "A name I would certainly give only to a child of my own blood. But unfortunately...goddesses can't have begotten children in this world. That is the unfortunate reality we are made to live in. Much is given to us, and much is taken as well."
Lyze pursed his lips, contemplating if he should reveal yet another secret he'd kept under wraps. But by now, Freya had come to know when he wanted to say something but found it difficult to spit it out.
"What is it, Odr?" She caught on immediately.
"...I'm about to tell you something Freya." Lyze said. "But it remains between us and us alone...only until I'm ready physically and mentally to have that out in the open."
"And what is it?" Freya asked as she tried to glean some insight on what it was based off of their recent conversation. She in particular focused on what she had said right before he became all fidgety. It then dawned on her exactly WHO she was talking with and she glanced at him in quick anticipation. "Wait! Don't tell me-"
"With the power of Chaos, I could change that little bit of reality." Lyze said. "And...I could impregnate you, and give you your own child, born of your blood. A true son or daughter to call your own."
...
His words rang true in her head, filled with no lie or deceit or idle pleasing. Her heart started beating fast in her chest as suddenly a whole new world opened in her eyes and she looked at him pleadingly.
"Then if I-" She began but was cut off.
"IF you win my heart to that degree, then I promise that to you. And whether it is a boy or a girl, you can name it whatever you like."
"But didn't you say you love the Sword Princess?"
"I do. But Ais has many thing that she chases in life. Even including the possibility she'd ever want to be with me, children would be the last thing on her mind. That's just who she is. And you...you have been tugging on my heart always. But I am too occupied with my objective to give much attention to you. From a subjective perspective, I'm being a repulsive scumbag...but I am trying my best Freya. Why should I deny you a child if I can give one to you when you have won my heart?"
"You have just given me incentive to keep trying." Freya's eyes sparkled with delight. "You know I will definitely not stop now, even if I keep this to myself."
"Then I wish you the best of luck." Lyze chuckled. 'Already I'm starting to lose.'
"I'm feeling so much happier after that story." Freya said cheerfully as she began fantasizing over what their child would look like if they were a boy or a girl, and the things she would lavish upon either should she ever give birth to one.
Now more than ever was she confident in him being her Odr. What greater happiness could any person have than a child to continue their legacy? What else could make the heart softer than the love a parent could have for their son or their daughter? Of course, her Odr could only ever be the one physically capable of delivering that by ways of defying reality as she knew it.
"Then perhaps it's time for the second one, which is relatively shorter." Lyze said. "Freya was not married to Odin in this version. She stayed where she was in Vanaheimr but she was still desired and fought over by men and giants. No matter what they did though, there was nobody who could win her heart...except one.
Odr.
Also known as Óðr. There are some disputes on whether he was another god or just some wandering mortal or perhaps a mortal that became a god. If he was a god, he was known as the god of Passion and Fury, as well as Divine Madness. Whichever it was, she fell madly in love with him and he became her husband.
And by him, she begot two daughters, Gersemi and Hnoss who themselves were goddesses of beauty. There are some who say that again, Baldr may have also been a child between her and Óðr but I've never verified it. But with how mysterious and ambiguous these stories are, I wouldn't be surprised if there had ever been a tribe that accepted it as fact. But it is undisputed that these two girls were her children by Odr specifically. And indeed they were one happy family."
"So what makes this story sad?" Freya asked confused because what she was hearing was even more beautiful than the first.
"It is because of Odr himself. There are two common narrations that explain what happened next. I believe again that it may have been the second more likely because I have little reason to believe the first. Some say that Freya did something that was very disliked by Odin, something considered a form of betrayal even, and Odin banished Odr from Valhalla as a result. Again, Odin is being given authority here which I vehemently oppose as he is Aesir, not Vanir. But the second, even though it is more acceptable a narration, is by no means easier to digest.
Some say that while he loved her very much, Odr felt chained down by his obligations to her. The one thing he loved more than her was Adventure and Chaos, something that his Domain of Madness yearned for. And like you said, gods are meant to follow their nature. Eventually he left her and their children. The heartbroken Freya set out after him, but she would always miss him as he was practically invisible to her vision. She wandered the realms desperately for a very long period of time. But she never did find him. And thus was she destined for all of eternity to keep looking for him but never reuniting with him, or so some people say. I like to believe that with the immortality she had, if she did exist in my universe, then she eventually found him again. But yes, it is a sad story nonetheless."
Freya hugged him even closer, as if she were forcibly trying to make him a part of herself so he'd never part from her. She started trembling and as she placed her face on his shoulder, he could feel a dampness on her eyes. Her chest then started contracting over and over again, as she quietly sobbed.
Freya herself would not dare allow anybody, even Ottar to see her like this. It was true that this story was so much nicer than the first one, but it resonated more with her and fit her own story quite well. All except that she had no daughters and she'd never known her Odr before she began looking for him. Only now did she find him, and half of her tears were of happiness that she did not end up like that woman, that she had found her Odr and at last found someone who truly understood her. Was it any wonder how Lyze saw right through her when they first met? He already knew her based on the multiple stories he'd heard in his own world...
Wait, if she had chosen him as her Odr...could that mean that he-
"No Freya." Lyze said as if he'd read her mind, which he probably had. "In that world, I have never ever met any mortal called Freya, let alone a goddess. I never was an Odr of any kind until I met you. So if I am the Odr you've sought all this time, then I am your Odr alone. Not another Freya's."
"Could you promise me what you promised Ais Wallenstein?" Freya asked, her voice muffled into his back. "Please Odr, I need that promise just as much as she does...if not more..."
"I have accepted this world as my home now." Lyze said. "Much has changed with me since we last spoke on this. So I will not be leaving you in the sense that Óðr did. Honestly, if anything, perhaps there is reason for you to be afraid of me..."
"Afraid of you?" Freya asked confusedly as she looked up in surprise. "How?"
"Because there is a very disingenuous and very disconnected version of the first story, but a version regardless. In it, Freya divorced Odin and he'd cursed her as a result. But she'd escaped from her bondage to him. What remained of her connection to him was the only son they'd had, Baldur. The one thing she loved more than anything else in the world and the only thing she would die to protect.
In this disconnected version, she'd actually placed a curse of invulnerability on him as a means of protection when she'd found out he would die a meaningless death. But it was one that literally nullified every sensation but for his sight and his hearing. Meaning he could not taste, he could not smell, nor could he feel pain or enjoy the warmth of the flesh of women. It drove him mad and he came to hate her with this dark, twisted, black kind of hatred. There is nothing nature reviles more than a child that kills its parent, more so its mother. But that was all Baldur wanted to do, despite all the suffering she'd already endured.
Betrayed by her people when she'd sacrificed herself for their sake. And then she was continuously abused, misused, and dishonoured by Odin during their marriage. And now to have her own son whom she loved more than life itself hate her? What was even worse was that when the curse was broken, Baldur STILL wanted to kill her and make her pay. And she was open to it. If it would bring her son peace and circumvent a future where he would die, she was willing to stretch her neck and allow her son to strangle her to death...all the while she professed her motherly love to him."
"That...is even worse than the other two." Freya exclaimed her eyes wide and the tears almost dried. "But why should I be afraid of you? What significance do you have in that story?"
"Because in that disingenuous variation, a Greek god called Kratos who had destroyed his own pantheon, which included killing Zeus and Hera mind you, had escaped to those lands where the Norse pantheon dwelt. He sort of befriended Freya after she saved his son from dying due to a sickness. In payment for that service, Kratos was willing to protect her, and do whatever it took to prevent her from dying to anything...even her own son."
"...What did he do?"
"He reached out with hands that had crushed an entire pantheon and brought it down in flames, took Baldur by the skull and snapped his neck. Baldur would be sentenced forever to roam Helheim, tormented by the sins of his past. Because in this iteration, he was no god of wisdom and beauty, nor was he perfection by any means. He was a hateful, deceptive, bloodthirsty god who was at the end of the day another tool of Odin even though he was the bastard's own son. Something she came to realize when she reconciled with Kratos during the events of Ragnarok, but regardless, she had still lost her son."
"Again, what does that have to do with you?" Freya asked. "I understand that your standing is very connected to the Olympians, which is very ironic considering you are in Loki's Familia."
"Because I have a skill called {Cratus}, which was a contemporary name of Kratos, who wielded the blades of Chaos. And it is written upon my soul." Lyze looked back at her. "My name is Kratos in that sense Freya. Skills are not a result of coincidence. We both know that. They have a meaning to them. And so one of my names would be Kratos, King of Chaos. And honestly, I would love to wield the blades of Chaos myself. Call it a childish vanity but it is besides the point. What if I am in actuality, not your Odr but someone destined to hurt your children by another person?"
Freya could only stare at him with a blank face, her mind still trying to absorb this really horrible story she'd just heard.
"Of course it is still quite disingenuous. Very disconnected." Lyze said. "Stories like these have no place in the real mythology. Why, there is even a written tale where Odr is a mortal from another world flung into Freya's world, but he is afraid of her and who she surrounds herself with, and he actively avoids her thanks to a special sense he has that detects whenever she's around. He even joins an entirely different Familia altogether!"
"That doesn't fit in with the character of Odr in the other stories."
"These kinds of stories are not written as historical fact. They are disingenuous misdirection, interpolations, fabrication etc. But still, there is some form of truth to everything. Lies can still change fate. What is the guarantee that somebody else might be your Odr and I'm someone who is destined to just slaughter your children at some point?"
"No. I refuse to believe it." Freya hugged him closer. "I am not those Freyas, nor are you that Kratos. You are dark Odr, but you would not hurt me. I have full confidence in you. Unquestionably so."
"...You know, a couple of weeks ago I would have said that your confidence was misplaced. But I don't know now." Lyze looked over the froth that brewed on the sea. "I've gone against so much of what I thought I stood for, what I thought I knew. You are right, everything about me and our situation would point more to the fact I wouldn't be the same as that guy, even if I do like him a lot. In fact, that Kratos suffered so much more than I and he committed even more evil than I have and he still became a man of righteousness and honour, somebody who learnt from his mistakes. I don't know if I could be the same."
"I believe you are. And you know why?" Freya turned his chin towards her as she smiled at him with a happy smile, a smile he expected from Syr's face now on her own. Yes, Syr Flover was her real personality.
"What?"
The fact that you can be so happy now Odr, and that you can talk like this. And that you can actually have a meaningful relationship with your Familia members and even acknowledge your feelings for one of them. That you have come to accept your circumstance and even embrace this world as home means one thing Odr." Freya placed a hand on his cheek. "You're healing Odr."
"I'm...healing?"
"Yes. All the sorrow and all the suffering you've gone through, the pain you've carried in your heart. It is being replaced with love and loyalty and acceptance. You shine so much brighter in both body and soul. It's not just an effect of this goddess form. It's the condition of your heart. Accept the truth for what it is." Freya stroked his cheek with the back of her fingers while tears began to run down her face again. "You're healing Odr, just as much as I am. And when we are both ready, we will make this world a better place for all our children to live in. I can wait for you Odr, I can wait until you've healed."
Lyze detected, with the power of Chaos still pulsating in him, the truth of her words. The sheer love, honesty and sincerity that Freya was projecting through her words as she opened herself up and laid her entire being bare before him, both body and soul with no help of her Arcanum. That she could put herself into such vulnerability and yet still be this truthful and sincere and that she could recognise what he had failed to notice.
It was only a matter of seconds before he broke down in her arms as he too came to the same grateful realization.
He was healing.
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