Maybe this is the right decision. I might get a good night's sleep after this instead of wasting my precious time thinking about her and worrying how she can do things to me by just staring at my face. I deserve to prioritize my own well-being and mental peace. By letting go of these thoughts, I can focus on more productive and fulfilling aspects of my life.
I inhaled and breathed deeply a few times to calm myself and clear my mind. As I exhaled, I felt a sense of relief and freedom.
And I closed my eyes, and I saw a beautiful pair of brown eyes with those expressive stares that can snowball into a whirlwind of emotions. But instead of getting lost in them, I reminded myself that I am in control of my own mind and emotions. I gently redirected my thoughts towards positive affirmations and gratitude, allowing myself to let go of any lingering attachments or distractions. With each breath, I felt a renewed sense of empowerment and the ability to create my own happiness.
A knock on my door made me come back to my senses .
''Lady Rebecca.''
''Yes, I answered.
''I am Irin, your new personal servant. Can I come in? '' The voice outside my door said
''Yes.'' My simple answer
Why do I feel disappointed?
So does the servant really agree with my decision?
But why am I disappointed?
Am I expecting Freen to disagree and stay?
Is she really that excited to be with Kirk?
''Lady Rebecca.''
''Yes ? '' I ask.
''I have already prepared your bath and clothes to wear. Thank you, Irin. Please bring them in, I replied, grateful for her efficiency. As I prepared to take a bath, my mind continued to wander, wondering why I felt such a mix of emotions about Freen's departure. Perhaps it was simply the realization that things were truly changing and I would have to adapt to a new dynamic in my household.
She came in and got up from my bed. I don't feel like getting up and doing things. But I need to prepare for this because this is the day I'm going to move to the mansion.'
''Lady Rebecca.'' Urgh, why am I feeling so weird being called by this Irin but wanting to hear a cute voice calling me this?
''Yes . '' I answered anyway.
''May I? '' I was surprised she knew how to speak English.
''You can speak English? " I asked, genuinely surprised by her language skills. She nodded and replied, "Yes, I can speak English fluently. It's one of the many languages I've learned over the years."
''Wow, where did you learn that from? I mean, If you don't mind me asking, '' I inquired, curious about her background and language acquisition.
''My aunt taught me ," she replied with a smile.
''Wow.'' I'm out of words.
A knock on my door made me come back to my senses .
''Lady Rebecca.''
''Yes, I answered.
''I am Irin, your new personal servant. Can I come in? '' The voice outside my door said
''Yes.'' My simple answer
Why do I feel disappointed?
So does the servant really agree with my decision?
But why am I disappointed?
Am I expecting Freen to disagree and stay?
Is she really that excited to be with Kirk?
''Lady Rebecca.''
''Yes ? '' I ask.
''I have already prepared your bath and clothes to wear. Thank you, Irin. Please bring them in, I replied, grateful for her efficiency. As I prepared to take a bath, my mind continued to wander, wondering why I felt such a mix of emotions about Freen's departure. Perhaps it was simply the realization that things were truly changing and I would have to adapt to a new dynamic in my household.
She came in and got up from my bed. I don't feel like getting up and doing things. But I need to prepare for this because this is the day I'm going to move to the mansion.'
''Lady Rebecca.'' Urgh, why am I feeling so weird being called by this Irin but wanting to hear a cute voice calling me this?
''Yes . '' I answered anyway.
''May I? '' I was surprised she knew how to speak English.
''You can speak English? " I asked, genuinely surprised by her language skills. She nodded and replied, "Yes, I can speak English fluently. It's one of the many languages I've learned over the years."
''Wow, where did you learn that from? If you don't mind me asking, '' I inquired, curious about her background and language acquisition.
''My aunt taught me ," she replied with a smile.
''Wow.'' I'm out of words. I was impressed by her language abilities, and the fact that she had learned from her aunt left me speechless. It was clear that she had put in a lot of effort to become fluent in English, and I couldn't help but admire her dedication.
''So, shall we? ''
I looked at her, confused about what she meant.
'' I'll help you take off your clothes so I can give you a bath, Lady Rebecca, ''she said, smiling.
'' Oh, you need to do that; I can manage, I said. I appreciated her offer, but I wanted to maintain my independence and take care of myself.
''Don't worry , Lady Rebecca, this has been my job for many years. I am trained to assist Elites with their daily tasks and ensure their comfort and well-being," she reassured me. I couldn't help but feel grateful for her expertise and kindness, but I politely declined her offer once again, determined to prove my own capabilities.
She really does know her job. I admire it, but a smile appeared in my lips when I remembered an ignorant, beautiful eye who always lost what to do next in terms of doing her task with me.
''You remember something fun , Lady Rebecca? '' Irin asks.
''Hmm, no, just a stupid person,'' I replied with a chuckle.
''You must be really fond of him, Lady Rebecca; you can't even hide your smile.'' Her comment made my brows crease.
''No. She's a woman, and it's none of your business, '' I said, annoyed.
''I'm sorry, Lady Rebecca; I didn't mean to offend you. I was just making an observation," Irin apologized. I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down. "It's alright, just please refrain from making assumptions about my personal life," I responded, trying to keep my tone neutral.
''And please help me pack clothes and things that I will bring to the mansion later. I can take a bath alone; don't worry about me. So after I take a shower, we'll leave so we can get to the mansion earlier.'' Irin nodded, understanding the boundaries I had set. "Of course, Lady Rebecca. I'll assist you with packing and ensure everything is ready for our departure," she assured me respectfully. As I made my way towards the bathroom, a sense of relief washed over me, knowing that Irin would respect my privacy and assist me in a way that made me feel comfortable.
I am now in the bathtub, and I can't help but remember the way she looked at me that night after my bath. Her eyes were filled with a mixture of admiration and tenderness, as if she saw right through me. It was a moment that lingered in my mind, etching itself into my memory like a beautiful painting.
I am going to lose my mind over a maid .
This all started when she saved me from my fiance's hands. Her act of bravery and compassion ignited a spark within me, making me question everything I thought I knew about love and loyalty. As the days passed, our connection grew stronger, and I found myself yearning for her presence even in the simplest of moments.
I only had her serve me for three days. But I only felt so connected to her, which scares me. At first, it was just a curiosity. I was just intrigued by the way she looked at me every time she served me and my family our food at dinner. I was actually about to use her for my escape to this upcoming wedding, but I am guessing I won't be doing that to her anymore, and I can't. And there's no update about what happened to the Maurer family, But my stay at the mansion is still going to happen to escape such an issue. I know my parents will find another way to save face and maintain their social status. However, deep down, I can't help but feel a sense of guilt for considering using someone's feelings for my own benefit. It's clear now that I need to find a different solution and face the consequences of my actions.
I guess this is the best decision I have made at the moment.
And her replacement can understand and speak English, too. At least now I won't need a translator to communicate with my new servant. Additionally, I hope that my parents will understand and respect my decision, even if it means disappointing them. It's important for me to prioritize my own values and principles rather than conforming to societal expectations.
She's better off with that guy too, and I can see that they get along with each other.
That embrace they did on the grassfield has not left my mind until now.
I never felt so selfish before, but with her, it bothers me seeing that site that day.
Her touch, the way her fingers grazed on my skin every time she helped me change, especially the time she helped me change in front of the mirror, was something that felt intensely intimate and personal. It was as if she saw beyond my physical appearance and truly understood me on a deeper level. Her presence ignited a sense of vulnerability and connection that I had never experienced before.
''Urgh, stop thinking about her, '' I groaned, pulling my hair.
I decided to finish my bath and get off her mind. As I dried myself off, I reminded myself that dwelling on her would only lead to more confusion and longing. It was time to focus on myself and move forward, leaving behind the lingering emotions that she had stirred within me.
''Lady Rebecca , why didn't you tell me you were finished in your bath? I should have helped, Irin said, surprised to see me in a robe. I can see that she is almost finished packing my things. I chuckled, grateful for Irin's thoughtfulness. "I wanted some time alone to clear my head," I replied, giving her a grateful smile. "But thank you for being so attentive. I appreciate it." With that, I joined Irin in packing my belongings into the suitcase.
''Lady Rebecca, please let me do my job. It is not right for you to help with my job. You hadn't let me help you with your bath, and now you are helping pack your things.'' Irin pushed my hand away from the suit case.
It's okay, Irin; I'm used to it; my previous governess and grandmother used to teach me how to do things in case I got married, so no worries,''
I said this while continuing to help her pack my things.
''No. Lady Rebecca, if you want, I can call for help to finish this and help you get a dress, as Irin suggested.
I smiled and said, ''Thank you , Irin. But there are only a few left to pack. Let's just finish this, and I'll let you help me dress.''
She has no choice but to just agree with me.
But the truth is, I am taking my time.
I don't know how many times I looked at the door.
Is she really not coming to at least say goodbye?
Or confront me for kicking her out?
She's not going to react?
''Are you expecting someone? Lady Rebecca? '' Irin asks.
''I'm not. why? ''Irin looked puzzled at me and didn't say anything.
Irin's puzzled expression made me realize that I had been staring at the door for far too long. I shook my head and replied, "No, I'm not expecting anyone. I'm just lost in my thoughts."
''Okay, ''she said, all done,'' and she straightened herself up. I hadn't even noticed we were done packing my clothes until she mentioned it. "Thank you for helping me," I said, feeling a mix of gratitude and guilt.
''It's my job. Lady Rebecca: I should be ashamed of letting you help me do my tasks.'' Irin said so shy at me.
''It's okay, not a big deal. Now help me get dressed. I just need your assistance to put on my clothes. '' I said.
Until the time we were finished with my dress and hair, I don't usually put on heavy make-up, so it was easy for Irin to do it all. No shadow Freen ever appear.
Then I guessed that's it.
The servants are now carrying my baggage to the wagon. I'm grateful for their help, as it saves me from having to carry everything myself. With my belongings safely packed, I feel relieved and ready to embark on our journey.
But then I noticed I forgot something really important, so I had to go back. to my room.
''Lady Rebecca, where are you going? Irin attempted to stop me, but I waved her off and hurried back to my room. I couldn't believe I had forgotten my necklace, a family heirloom that held immense sentimental value.'
''I just have to get something important in my room. Just wait on the wagon. I'll be back in a moment," I assured Irin, my heart pounding with anxiety. As I rushed back to my room, I couldn't help but feel a sense of urgency to retrieve the cherished necklace before our journey began.
It's not just the necklace; the box contains an important memory too. I have been carrying ever since I could remember.
I don't know if she's a dream or just my imaginary friend, but I've carried her presence with me until now.
This is the main reason why I wanted to go back to that mansion again. I want to relive the memory with the crown flower girl.
As I entered my room again, I saw the box that contained the most precious memories of my existence in this world.
But I couldn't reach it.
It's on top of the closet.
I tried to jump in order to reach the box.
Poink *
Poink*
Poink*
I then understood that a ladder was required in order to reach the box. However, looking for a ladder right now will be a major hassle, and I don't want to bother anyone for no reason.
I put my hands on my hips, blew my hair, and focused narrowly on the box above me. My dress is too tight and heavy; I'm already perspiring, and I've been jumping.
And I saw a chair on my desk. I hit my head for my stupidity and started to drag the chair near the closet, just below the box.
And finally, with sparkling eyes, I opened the box and saw everything was still there, especially the withered crown flower hidden at the bottom of the box in an old piece of paper where I hid it from my parents. I jumped off the chair out of happiness, climbed back over the chair, and pretended to do ballet standing on my foot using my toe, turning while holding the box like in the music I usually saw.
''Lady Rebecca ''
''Oh my god''
Blogz
''Ouch!''
And that's it. I fell to the ground.
Of all the times, why did she have to appear in such a situation?