Ellie
It's been a couple weeks since that day I met Marcus, and we haven't spent a day apart. Each day, when Koga and I greet the morning with a cup of coffee, Marcus comes over with his own. One might think it was strange for a person to walk a couple miles through the woods just to have a morning cup of coffee with you, but I found it invigorating. I look forward to every morning knowing he will be here, and so does Koga; his excitement gets the better of him and every morning instead of a simple good morning kiss from my sweet boy, I get a hyperactive beast the jumps on the bed insistently until I throw the covers off myself. I find the whole act humorous and adorable.
After the first couple days of our newfound routine, I started making breakfast for Marcus. Figured it was the least I could do for him for gifting me with his presence in the morning. It also gives him reason to stay, which he doesn't fight whatsoever. He seems to enjoy my company as much as I do his. The way his eyes seem to glow when he looks at me. Those brown eyes are deep with emotion he won't voice, but I could see it as clearly as I could see the sky. The eyes of a boy who found his lost treasure. That thought brings an unexpected heat to my cheeks.
I try to rein in my thoughts because Marcus is a friend; even though he looks at me in a way that friends don't normally look at other friends. I can see his want for me in every glance. I feel the electric current that dances between us whenever our skin touches, even for a second. More than once, I've caught him staring at my lips. I thought that typically most guys would've made a move by now, but Marcus doesn't seem to have that kind of motive. He's a puzzle.
Over breakfast, today's menu being French toast with eggs and bacon, I ask Marcus to tell me more about our childhood together. I may not remember any memories I made with him as a child but somehow, I remember him. It's so strange. I know he prefers blackberries over any other berry, how his eyebrows pinch when he's getting impatient, and that he can draw but won't show anybody his work – not even me. I don't know how I know these things. It's as if he's a part of me and even if I don't remember him, he is imbedded in me.
I notice the hesitation in him when telling me of my forgotten memories. He tells me about many things like how we spent our time together but when I try to dig deep, he retreats. It's as if he's fighting with himself, not sure whether he should tell me. Like telling me too much would bring on something bad. It only fuels my curiosity. Only that pained look in his eyes when I ask makes me back off. I want to know what is hurting him so bad that he couldn't tell me.
Marcus told me that when we were children, one thing we always enjoyed was telling each other stories; or more specifically, I would tell him stories. He said I would tell him everything under the moon and he was happy to just listen to me and watch my excitement as I told tales. I think back to one of the photographs he showed me when we met – again. The photo of us on a log, my arms waving and his eyes beaming as they watched me. I can almost remember the story I was telling, about a magical kingdom that floated in the sky.
It's moments like this where I am elated yet still frustrated at my lack of memory. I don't deny that Marcus and I have a past but why can't I remember it if he was so intertwined with my life. He has so many stories of us, like we had a lifetime together. It seems almost impossible for me to forget but somehow, I did. I keep getting these short visions, snippets of a time long forgotten, and voices speaking a truth I've never heard. I haven't told Marcus. It's already overwhelming to rediscover a part of my life I forgot with no way of knowing how I forgot it. I don't need to be told I'm going crazy to top it. So I set on distracting myself by asking Marcus to tell me stories. After all, he remembers every story I told him, so he says.
After breakfast, Marcus suggests that before we begin story time, we go for a run. Koga's big ears perk up at his suggestion and he gets excited all over again. I smile and run inside to change into my running clothes, Marcus already being in sweats patiently waits for me to change out of my pajamas. I emerge from the cabin in a black t-shirt and matching black running spandex shorts that hug my backside. I don't miss Marcus' pupils dilating as his gaze travels down my body. My cheeks warm and I have to revert my gaze before he notices my blush.
"Shall we go?" Marcus doesn't even answer me, just nods slowly as he swallows thickly.
I watch him grip the hem of his t-shirt and pull the fabric off. Smooth, olive complexion coating pounds of pure muscle across his back and shoulders. Now it's my turn to devour him with my eyes. He's gorgeous, unlike anything I've ever seen. His body looks like it was chiseled from stone and I watch as the muscles of his shoulders flex as he stretches. I don't even realize that I'm staring so openly until I hear a deep chuckle. My eyes snap up to see Marcus' chocolate eyes staring at me with such amusement and something that looks a little like fondness. His smile sends a whirlwind through my stomach and I have to shake my head to regain my bearings.
"I'm sorry, what?"
"I'm ready when you are." His voice is velvet, sliding over my skin and making me shiver as much as his scent. Why the hell does he smell so good?!
I hop off the porch and take off before I embarrass myself any further. I can hear Marcus and Koga hot on my tail as we run into the thick of the trees. Everything is rushing past us in a blur, I don't think I've ever ran so fast. I can hear Koga's paws to my right, and I glance to my left to see Marcus running alongside me. He's smiling so big and I can hear him laugh over the sounds of our feet – and paws – pounding against the dirt. The sound is so happy and melodic, I've never heard anything so pleasant. At this moment, he doesn't look like a man whose known pain. He looks like a boy, playing without a care in the world. He looks free. That makes me smile and let out a laugh myself. I decide to let go and play a little game. I also want to feel that happiness. I want to be the little girl he remembers. I push legs harder, trying to outrun him but he catches up almost immediately.
"Trying to race me?" He says loudly to me as we continue to whip through the trees. I glance over at Koga and see him at a full sprint while remaining by our side. How are we running so fast?
I smirk at him and shout, "Catch me if you can!"
Without giving him a moment to realize what I had just said, I skid to a quick stop, both Marcus and Koga going past me. I change course and start running again. Faster and faster. More than ever, I feel so wild and primal. The cage my spirit trapped in unlocking and releasing me. I've been running for so long but there's no sweat on my brow and no burning sensation in my legs. I'm no longer a human, I feel like a wolf. Running so fast that everything blurs as I pass it. My senses are heightened. I could hear Koga's paws so clearly even though he is not behind me, and I can smell Marcus' sweet aroma. I change direction again, challenging Marcus' ability to catch up with me even though I have no doubt that he could.
A force knocks into me suddenly and I fall, but I don't hit the ground. Something warm and hard breaks my fall. I look down to find Marcus, his arms around me and his body under mine. He caught me. He's smiling at me, and I could feel his heart hammering against his chest.
"I caught you." His chocolate eyes sparkle with amusement as laughter rumbles through his chest. I can't help but laugh with him, feeling lighter than I have in many years. The sound of paws coming close turns our focus over to Koga, trotting up to where we laid before sitting and cocking his head at us. We laugh even more, like parents who just got caught doing something by their child. I stand then extend my hand to Marcus, pulling him to his feet. Seeing where we were, he looks at me and tells me that we're close and to follow him. I do, curious to where we're close to. After a few minutes walking between the trees, we break through and find a cliff overlooking the forest. No cities, no people; just a stretch of nature from us to the horizon. It's a beautiful view. I can see a body of water from here – a lake it looks like. Near the lake, I can make out some type of structure. It looks almost like a run-down building but it's too far to see the explicit details. I point to it.
"What's that place? Over there, by the lake?" Marcus doesn't answer me. I look over to him and I'm shocked to see his smile is gone. His face is stoic, and his eyes look haunted, like he's remembering something he wishes he could forget. I'm about to ask him if he's okay, when he says something in a gruff voice.
"The Western Kingdom. What's left of it at least."
I look at the ruins and feel a rush of sadness I don't understand. The name sounds familiar, like I've heard it in a story before.
"Can we go to it?" I can't help but ask.
"You don't want to go there." He says in a voice that tells me he doesn't want to discuss it right now. I drop it and decide to change the topic.
"You promised me a story time." He turns to look at me and the ghosts in his eyes fade away, relief filling his expression and a smile stretching his lips.
"I did. Let's head back before it gets dark. Nothing like story time over a fire."
We made our way back to the cabin, I can't tell if we were closer than I realized or if we were running faster than I anticipated. Either way, we made it back just as the sun was setting. Marcus went ahead to grabbing wood and starting the fire while I stopped a minute to gaze at the sunset. I couldn't help myself. When I've had my fill of the pretty colors, I turned to find Marcus staring at me with a look that made my heart stutter.
"You haven't changed a bit." I heard him say low as if saying to himself, but I heard him, nonetheless.
The stars dotted the sky as the flames cracked next to us. Koga and I laid together watching him intently. Marcus delivers on his promise of story time, waving his hands as his voice filled with wonder telling me of all the stories I once told him. He knew so many tales of wolves, of the moon goddess, of magic and love, it was enthralling. I paid no mind to anything but the sound of his voice and the poetry falling from his lips.
"… and when they finally reunited after so long, it is said that they reigned together until it was their time to pass. To this day, if you look up at the night sky, you could see two stars shining bright and always together. Those two stars are the king and queen, where they live on for eternity." He finishes his current story, a tale of everlasting love. I feel like a little girl again, gushing over a romantic bedtime story, but I can't help it when Marcus is the one telling it.
"Tell me another." I say in a breathy tone.
"That's the last of them, Ellie."
"I find that hard to believe."
"It's the last happy story I know." He said that hoping I would be satisfied, but I wasn't.
"Tell me something sad then." The air shifted into something more … intense. Marcus kept looking into my eyes and I could see the battle going on inside his head. He knows a story, but he's not sure if he should tell me. I look at him expectantly until he sighs in defeat.
"Have you ever heard the story of the lost lunar princess?" He asks softly, almost too quietly for me to hear. I shake my head and he takes a deep breath, preparing himself for what he's about to tell me.
"Hundreds of years ago, the wolves were not simple predators of the wood. They were gigantic beasts whose howl could shake the earth. But they could also shed their fur and walk on two legs as humans." I widened my eyes at what Marcus was saying, immediately intrigued, "Back then, their population was so vast that they split up the land between the east, west, north and south. Their packs created kingdoms."
The Western Kingdom. I think to the ruins we saw on our run today.
'It's a real place. Does that mean …'
"In the west, the moon goddess blessed the King and Queen with a child. A daughter. The first princess. It is said that no she-wolf could hold a candle to her beauty and no flower could match her grace."
He smiled as he said this. His eyes held a glimmer of pride when describing the princess. I wondered what that was about.
"She was sought after by male wolves of all the territories, for her beauty and power, to breed the most powerful pups to ever exist and rise their respective kingdoms to power. But she rejected them all. All except for one."
This story feels familiar, but I don't remember reading it or hearing it before tonight. I want to ask Marcus, but I stop myself. The air shifts and he's no longer looking at me. He's staring into the flames as he continues his story.
"The Prince of the Eastern kingdom fell in love with the beautiful Princess the moment their eyes locked, and it was a blessing from the moon goddess that she fell in love with him too. They were fated mates, destined to love each other for all of eternity. But they had to keep their love a secret."
Something changed in him as he said that last sentence. His tone was no longer light and almost reminiscent, it was sad and full of – regret.
"Why?" I ask softly.
"Can't say. That part of the story has been lost." The words sounded robotic; I can't help but feel that is not true. However, I don't push it. I nod, letting him continue his story.
"They loved each other in secret for 150 years."
I gasp at this. I wonder how it is possible, to be alive for so long but to also keep a relationship a secret for so long. It's baffling to me and I just know that something is missing. But I don't interrupt him. I want – no – I need him to tell me this story.
"The Prince and Princess mated, consummated their love and in return, were blessed with a child." Marcus' eyes grow dark, his tone carrying so much weight it hurts me to hear it, "They were to wed and bring together the East and West. It was to be announced on the night of the blue moon. The night of the Lunar Festival." He pauses, taking in a deep breath before resuming, "But that night …" I watch as Marcus chokes on his words. A heavy pressure on my chest makes me scared to hear his next words, "The Princess was attacked."
I don't breathe. I don't blink. I don't move. I'm terrified to hear the rest, but I must. I don't know why, but I just have to know.
"The Prince held the Princess in his arms as she bled, weeping … at the loss of their pup."
I bring my hand to my mouth, trapping the whimpers I want to release so badly. I have to let him finish the story.
"The Princess was powerful and one of the gifts she held was the gift of healing. But she wasn't healing now. Her time was running out. And instead of telling the prince who was responsible, who had hurt her, she used her final moments to tell him how much she loved him."
I can feel the tears silently sliding down my cheek.
"'You are my light in the darkness. You always have been. The time we've had together is … everything and I wish we had more. I will love you – even in my death and I pray that the moon goddess blesses us to be together in another life' "
'All of us.'
"'… all of us …'. Those were her last words to the prince before he felt her last breath."
"Th-then … what happened?" I choke out through my tears.
"Her body disappeared from the prince's arms. It is said that she flew to the sky, where the moon goddess called to her."
I can't hold my cries in any longer. I don't break, I shatter. A cold darkness falls over me and I sob into my hand as the sorrow overwhelms me and holds my heart in a tight grip. The feeling of helplessness, devastation and grief fill my body at lightning speed that I can't feel anything but pure, unadulterated pain. It runs through my veins like poison and seeps into my bones as I fall apart. I can feel Marcus embrace me, his warmth enveloping me as his scent fills my lungs. He tries to soothe me, whispering sweet words in my ear and rubbing my back in circular motions. But it's not enough. I cry and cry and cry like I could never stop. Gods, I want this pain to stop. An awful howl claws its way out of my chest, and I release it into the night sky, crying out at the moon that shone bright and full above us.
'You must rest, my child.'
Past my howling, I could hear a soft voice whisper in my mind.
'When you remember …'
I don't know what the voice is saying, I don't understand; but I'm too far gone to care. Marcus tightens his hold on me as I cry, I can feel his desperation as he tries to hold me together. His fear that if he lets me go, he will lose me all over again. I cling to him, just as desperate to stay whole. To stay here with him.
"I got you, baby." He whispers repeatedly in my ear and it's his voice that guides me home.
"Don't let me go." I say between my sobs and what he says next makes me feel something that I have never felt before. Something that I just know, only he can spark.
"I'll never let you go again."
I feel safe.