My mind flashed back to the moment Aunt Mary gave me the brief explanation of Mana Maze one and a half years ago.
"If we go into the theory of 𝑴𝒂𝒏𝒂 𝑴𝒂𝒛𝒆, it is essentially just the spreading of mana, pushing it outside of our body, and holding it there with our willpower. There is no actual technique used for it. That and the fact it is an innate ability in all Steelhearts."
I was able to recall every single word accurately as if I had unconsciously engraved them in my mind.
My brain was working on overload, and after being strengthened by the flow of my mana circuit, it felt as if the nerves in my body were unable to keep up with my thought process.
On the outside, however, it still only looked as if I had a tranquil peace of mind, calmy and coldly thinking.
At a rapid speed, I traced my actions step by step, comparing them to what aunt Mary had said, and found that I had directly or indirectly followed everything.
I had forcefully pushed the mana out of my circuit, then I had spread the mana across the room, so why did it coalesce after a bit?
I analysed every word I could remember, trying to see if she had implied any hidden meanings.
But I then realised why aunt Mary had done all of this sadistic training for me. It felt like everything clicked in my head at once. And the answer was always right in front of me.
I needed more willpower.
My goal had always been to find how to use Mana Maze and then finally meet human interaction again. But what if that was not what I needed to focus on? What if I needed to concentrate on forming Mana Maze entirely?
Realising this, I felt extremely foolish in not thinking of this beforehand.
'This can not happen again. If I am to avenge my mother, I can not make mistakes. Not a single one.'
Aunt Mary had cleverly planned my fall to insanity, to put more pressure on my willpower, which in turn would make it easier to master the ability. Realising this I could only imagine exactly what she had in plan for me.
But in the future, I didn't plan to take that spoon-fed even if she forced me to.
I will become strong; strong enough that the world will be at my feet, even if I were in the shadows. Only then I could avenge my parents.
Even after suffering for a whole year, my flames of vengeance had not fully died out.
Yes, my ambition for revenge was still there, but it felt as if a vital part of me was missing, and I could never feel too sure about myself without it.
'This suffocating feeling can only be cured with time.' I thought.
With that, I sat down again, closed my eyes and solely concentrated on the achievement of Mana Maze.
My willpower, which had been honed from extensive isolation, was now that of an indomitable mountain. If I planned on doing something, I will not stop until I do it.
Gradually, the diminishing blue mana core lingering near my heart started to rotate clockwise inside my inner realm. Sparks of blue energy got sucked in like a wormhole, and my mana flowing around my mana circuit started to pump intensely.
My body started to feel the same burning sensation it had experienced a few minutes ago, but my mind was able to suppress the excruciating pain.
This method of using Mana Maze was definitely inefficient and not good for my body, nonetheless, I still carried on. It was my only current option.
I could then feel the overflowing mana in my circuit feeling like it was going to blast, but the pain soon died down as the energy began to escape through my skin.
That wave of overwhelming drowsiness washed over my body once more, and I shakily opened my glowing eyes.
Once again, I could see a beautiful array of glowing blue particles hovering throughout the space, each equally distanced from the other.
This time, the particles felt more stable and connected since they were held up by my indomitable will.
I was able to feel the walls of the room even if I wasn't touching them, the quality of the stagnant air that I breathed every day, and I could even hear my deep breaths as if I was watching the world in 3rd person.
This surreal feeling made me feel calm and relaxed, and I started to appreciate the emptiness of the room.
But it was then that I noticed the silhouette of a figure lurking in the left corner of the room; I realised that I was deeply mistaken.
This room was not empty. No, for all I know, it was never empty.
'Why didn't I notice this the first time I briefly activated Mana Maze? How long have they been standing there? Is it someone I know?'
Questions filled my mind, but out of instinct, I rushed backwards away from the intruder.
Still sitting, I could only push myself back with my hands, and not take my eyes off the figure.
Increasing the remaining mana flowing in my circuit, the brightness of my softly glowing eyes strengthened in the darkness.
Startled, the will on my Mana Maze naturally broke, and so did the particles that were in the air.
Like before, they started to coalesce into the same ball I had seen, and the frequency of the buzz increased exponentially. The glowing blackhole swirled like the rotation of my mana core, and suddenly...
BANG
The blue glow of the explosion lit up the middle of the room, slightly brightening everything for a few seconds like a flashbang.
In those few seconds, even though I could not see the person's face, I was able to witness a devilish smile that could send shivers up my spine.
"What the hell..."
As soon as my Mana Maze stopped working, I could no longer naturally feel a presence in the room with me. The intruder had disappeared like dust being blown away by the wind.
Through shallow breaths of air, my stoic face started to crack under the deafening silence. As a 6-year-old, not even my hardened mind could handle a jumpscare that terrifying. I had not made contact with a human being for over a year, and this was what I was first met with.
I sat in silence as I re-organised my thoughts logically.
CREEEEEAKK
The tapping of high heels echoed throughout the room, slowly walking like the tick of a clock.
The sound stopped, and I started to bring my head to look upwards at the figure.
The lights of the room began to flicker to life, and the whirr of magic abruptly stopped.
"Hello, young man..." the person said, with a genial smirk.
My body which had been pushed to the limits started instantly started to feel the withdrawal symptoms of the magic spells, like an addicting drug the cells in my body could no longer live without.
My stoic, expressionless guise stared deeply into the woman's red eyes. The long, messy hair that now reached my shoulders covered my pale face like a depraved ghost, but behind it, my deadpan glowing blue eyes started to widen.
"This is only the beginning..."
"Mary Steelheart..." were the last words I could utter before I blanked out unconscious. My body could no longer hold it.
'Finally... I can rest.'