JIEGO
The next days were pure chaos. Atty. Sumayo told me to quit the job at the convenience store and now I’m in a computer shop making a resignation letter addressed to my boss at Daily Grind Convenience Store. I haven’t told anyone yet. As what you know, Sheila only took it as a joke last time I tried. I mean, who wouldn’t?
Atty. Sumayo also told me not to say anything to my parents, or as it turned out, my adoptive parents. I still have mixed feelings about that. When you suddenly woke up one day and discovered that everything on your life was a lie, you won’t see things the same way. There’s a slight trigger in your gut that would make that happen.
“…for the chance and trust that you gave me. I am thankful for the learnings I had in the long time that I was under your employment…”
I was reciting the letter out loud. I haven’t sent one before as I spent two years in the convenience store. After more than ten revisions of the original, I finally did the last edits on the punctuations and spelling. When it’s already good to my liking, I stood up, pushing the chair back and went to the counter.
“how much is for the printing?” – I asked the lady with the chewing gum. I has to repeat the question the second time because I realized she wasn’t paying attention at all. Her eyes were glued on the computer screen in front of her where she was playing a digital game about zombies and snipers.
“P5.00 per page.” – finally, she responded.
I think I still have some spare coins on my pockets and I was right. The resignation letter only got me a page and I paid. When it finished, I got out of the computer shop and bought a long paper envelope from the nearby bookstore. I plan to give this to Sheila this morning. I was informed by Atty. Sumayo that I need to pack my things tonight as he’ll move me to a different place tomorrow. As to where, he didn’t give me a clue. What I just know is that it’s a better place. Hell, anywhere would be a better place than the apartment I was tolerating to stay at.
And then my phone rang. It was from Sheila.
“hey, Shee.”
“WHERE ARE YOU?” – I have to pull the phone away from my ear. Man, this girl needs to chill
“I’m coming there… but as what I texted you last night. I’ll only pass the resignation letter. I won’t be working there anymore.”
Just like that, there was a pause on the other line. She did read my message last night, didn’t she? I’m sure I sent her one.
“Shee? Hey Sheila, are you still there?”
“w…why? I just… I haven’t noticed your text last night. I just read it now. why?”
There was a change on the tone of her voice. Suddenly the perky and loud voice was replaced with a gloomy and a gentle one.
“I didn’t have the time, and well… I’m kind of busy these days. Slipped my mind. Anyway, I’m coming.”
I ended the phone when she became silent again. It was the same time a cab stopped in front of me and then I slid in. The envelope that would end my employment safely kept on an even larger brown envelope I was holding with my left hand.
I gave the address of the convenience store to the driver while I was scrolling through my phone. There were three new messages from Atty. Sumayo. I opened them one by one. The first two were only reminders to resign from work today and pack up by night. He said he’s picking me up tomorrow morning by 8 am and that the new place I’ll be staying is already prepared. I don’t know what to respond to the first two so I only focused on the third one. It was an address:
412 Street, South Harbor, Metro Manila.
Just that? I think there’s something missing with the address. It did not contain the block number of the place. I guess it would be an apartment. Also, South Harbor? That’s a city away from here. it would mean I would really leave this place and live in a new one?
“we’re here, sir.”
“oh, thanks.”
I gave the fare and alighted the vehicle. The convenience store was there right in front of me, the door with the sign “OPEN” calling me in. I don’t have any separation anxiety issues so I have nothing against starting over in a new place, yet I cannot deny that Sheila and I had been good friends all these years. I guess this would be hard for her than for me. Still, we cannot go on in the same place forever. At some point, we have to move on. For the better. Even when the better comes with confusions, pressure and unending questions.
The wind chime sounded when I pushed the door open. Sheila was dealing with a customer and she only gave me one look. I approached but only stood at the side of the counter, helping her wrap up the boxes of butter the middle-aged woman purchased while she was giving her change.
“thank you.”
“please come again, ma’am.” – Sheila said and handed the purchase with the receipt stapled on the outside part of the wrapper.
And then, we were alone.
“why will you resign?” – she asked, directly looking at me with crossed arms
I gulped, not knowing what to say. I already told her why and she only dismissed it, thinking it was a joke of some sort. I mean, anyone would take that as a joke. I can’t blame her.
“personal reason.”
“and how long have you been thinking about this?”
“just recently.”
She nodded, looking down on the table. I’m sure those weren’t the only questions in her head. We’ve shared a lot of years with each other and those weren’t easy to just set aside. At the pit of my stomach, I admit that I was feeling the guilt.
“I won’t insist on what’s really your reason, Jiego. Perhaps you’ve already thought about this enough. you’re a reasonable man. I just hope you told me sooner.”
I frowned. Why is she too sad about this? I already told her last night, and I told her again now. I didn’t keep her in the dark, did I?
“well, I… you’re right. I already made up my mind.”
I confirmed and finally, handed her the brown envelope. The edges were wetted, perhaps with sweat from my fingertips. It wasn’t crumpled nor soiled at all, though. I’m sure the wet blots would just dry up later. And with that, I hope Sheila would be fine.
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Night came swiftly as I lose count of time.
The windows were closed and I had already finished three huge cartons of random things. I hate packing, to be honest… that’s why I stayed in the same place for how many years. Secondary to the reason that I cannot afford a better place with better ventilation and cleaner water. I don’t know how many hours it took me but I started at sunset, right when the colors of the sky resembled autumn, and now, the view outside the window was nothing but pitch black… with small bots of stars twinkling.
I looked at the boxes and sighed. It wasn’t the sad type of sigh, it was something more of being fulfilled. I’m doing it. Finally, an offer of change. With the half-empty duct tape, I sealed every carton. I didn’t see the need to label them one by one as I didn’t organize them according to what it contains. I just dumped my things on one carton until it’s filled and then move on to the other, then to the next. Now the shabby apartment was empty, highlighting the patches on the wall where the paint has faded and the dripping tube under the sink. The bed was now bare, the windowpanes rusty. The roof where constant dust was falling from the slightest shake now looked blank and old to me. For the first time, none of those things bothered me. Rather, it made me hopeful that I am finally leaving this place.
What comes after I move?
What was the truth about my parentage?
What other things am I not aware of?
Most of all, what comes after tomorrow’s huge step?
With those thoughts, I slept on the bare cushion of the bed. For the last time.