Chapter 4: 1970s
I was forgetting my home, and with it who I am.
This realization weighed heavy on my shoulders, every fiber of my body felt like ice, my body stiff and cold as I prepared through my morning, the whole world on mute as I buried myself in my thoughts.
I need to find a way to preserve my memories, but how? No one from my past would talk to me, and I will die an eternal death before I talk to them.
Pride; is such a toxic trait.
The whole ordeal was a haze of anger betrayal and frustration, and I only realized I have arrived in the office with the sound of Sarah Beth’s shrill voice.
“Can you believe this? This rain is unrelenting, it's ruined my hair so early in the morning and my shoes are soaked” Sarah Beth stomped as her way to her desk next to mine.
“Are you even listening to me, my morning’s a wreck!”
“Good morning to you too Sarah Beth” I smiled at her, my hands automatically going for the papers on my desk to work so I would have the excuse of not listening in on her morning episode of things that can be done better to make her life better.
I drowned her voice out to focus on typing out the newly organized stack of papers on my desk, says a lot when a person would prefer reading and writing about a serial killer than listening to their antics. I let my work dominate my mind and body, to finish as fast as I possibly can, if I was going to leave, I didn’t want to leave with unfinished work on my desk, God forbid the things Sarah Beth will be sharing to the office floor when I leave work without proper notice. I will probably be one of those faceless girls accused of adultery and pregnancy of a married man’s love child.
Fueled by my intent to leave, I was halfway through the paperwork in no time, skipping breaks to avoid unnecessary chatters. I kept myself busy and buried the whole morning, my resignation in my bag unforgotten. I worked through the whole morning operating as if the world around invisible, the only thing that mattered was the typewriter and the next paper.
By lunchtime, I was able to finish the dreaded stack of papers about a notorious serial killer on the west coast but decided to take a quick break to get myself some coffee and a sandwich from the deli across the street. Taking this time to plan my next move, probably somewhere remote where I can collect what is left of my memories and find a way to immortalize them before I forget where I came from or who I was or am.
When I returned to the office, the elevator doors opened to reveal that the whole entire office have gathered outside Jay Zander’s office, everywhere he goes, he always attracts attention, I smiled at the sad thought as I walked back to my desk, eyeing the door of the editor in chief to see if he was already in the office.
“Laura Laura LAURA! Oh my goodness you are never going to believe what just happened” Sarah Beth pushed through the throng of people blocking her way once she found me sitting at my desk.
“Good heavens he is absolutely livid, I have never seen him this angry before,”
“Sorry who’s angry at who?”
“Mr. Zander, he’s scolding Mary Anne right now, apparently he has been waiting for some papers to be typed written when he asked Mary Anne, she couldn’t answer! Poor Mr. Zander he was working so hard on that assignment by the west and Mary Anne and her clumsiness lost his work” Sarah Beth exasperated, hand on her chest as if the situation has physically affected her.
“And to think he had to sit down in a room alone with a killer, poor Mr. Zander, if there was something I can do to ease his burden just a little” Sarah Beth wondered out loud. I rolled my eyes as I looked over her shoulder, towards the door of my boss who seems to be not there.
“Maybe you should get him a cup of coffee or something” I answered unconsciously, then it hit me, west coast, killer? So it was his work that was slumped on my desk yesterday morning. Without much hesitation I grabbed both piles off of the table stacked them on top of each other, and marched my way through the crowd of rumormongers.
“Excuse me sir is this what you’re looking for?” I entered the office unannounced, leaving the door wide open so he can see the fiasco he has attracted the office to. Embarrassed to be caught eavesdropping, everybody scrambled back to their seats but kept an ear out to listen to some juicy details. Swallowing hard, I stood my ground and faced him, or at least him of this lifetime. There he was, tall, broad-shouldered, and handsome as ever, unwavering, and strong, his presence always commands the room he is in and always leaves me breathless. Sarah Beth did not stand a chance. Nevertheless, stood up straighter kept my chin up, and placed the piles of paper on his desk making sure to separate the original files from the typewritten ones.
“This was left on my desk yesterday morning sir, messy and completely out of order. Mary Anne did nothing wrong, I was the one responsible for finishing this task. I am the one you should be scolding for not being able to finish on time,” I said with all the confidence of a defiant employee who is about to leave the company.
“No, I left it on her desk, the third desk to the right down this hallway” Jay stood in the doorway to point at my desk.
“There must be some mistake, sir, that is my desk, and has been my desk for the past year. It might be just presumptuous of me, but I don’t think you understand that in your absence things can change, including sitting arrangement” I snapped back and walked to stand before him by the door frame. Looking up, even in heels I raised my finger to point at where Mary Anne’s desk was four desks behind me.
“That is Mary Anne’s desk.” The look of regret was instantaneous on his face as he realized the mix-up. Sighing he ruffled his thick mane-like black locks and sauntered over to where Mary Anne trembled.
“If it wasn’t on your desk, why didn’t you tell me the first time, you didn’t have to keep apologizing,” Jay asked Mary Anne who was already in tears.
“I-I I am sorry” Mary Anne burst bumping into me by the doorway before making a beeline straight to the bathroom.
“Damn, I messed up, how do I make it up to her,” Jay said sitting on the love seat situated in front of his desk, leaning his elbow on his knees, face buried in his hands.
“You can start by apologizing to her properly, then by remembering where her desk actually is, and lastly by numbering the pages of your work so when for whatever reason gets disorganized, it will be easy to rearrange it back into order” I advised before leaving, shutting the door behind me.
As I shut the door, I finally notice that the editor in chief has already arrived in his office.
I guess this is goodbye then…
I walked to my desk and grabbed the folded letter from my bag, but before I can even leave my desk, Sarah Beth had me caged.
“What happened, is Mary Anne alright, is she going to lose her job? What would happen to Mr. Zander, she is his secretary, he’ll probably need a new one?” Sarah Beth asked barely hiding her glee from the whole ordeal.
“Everything is fine, Mary Anne is fine, she is not going anywhere, it was all just a big misunderstanding” I assured her, with an intoxicatingly sweet smile, fixing her curls back in place before side-stepping her and walking towards the editor in chief’s office.
“It’s really pouring out there isn’t it,” my boss said as he watched the raindrops pitter-patter against his window.
“Yes sir,” since yesterday, the rain had been playing fast and loose with everybody. I wonder how people would react if they knew I was partly responsible for this phenomenon.
“Sit, what brings you here today Laura” he too sat on his chair as he motioned for the loveseat in front of his desk.
“Well, sir I’m sorry if this is an inconvenient time, but I am here to submit notice of my resignation,” I said giving him my signed notice. His forehead crumpled as he put on his eyeglasses to read my notice.
“You’re not pregnant, are you?” he asked placing back his glasses on his table next to my letter.
“No sir, definitely not, I’m just missing home as it is. It’s been quite a long time since I’ve seen my family” I reasoned or rather lied.
“If you wanted to see your family you could have just asked for a vacation, resigning seems a little too…much. You are an asset to the publication Laura. But since I have no reason to keep you from leaving, if this is really what you want I guess I have no choice but-“
“I WANT HER!” Jay Zander announced as he barged into the office.
“Excuse me?”