Chapter 11: 1970s
“So here we are home sweet home” Zander said pulling up in front of my apartment building. We exchanged looks, our eyes tired and morose, it has not even been most of a day and we are already ready to turn in. So much happened so fast, and only now in the silence of the car ride were we able to contemplate about the morning exchange.
“I’ll walk you to your door” Zander volunteered breaking the silence that has settled between the two of us. He exited the car, and I watched as he sped walked across the front of the car to the passenger seat to open my door for me. He outstretched his hand to me to help me up and did not let go as we walked me to my door. Zander lead us up the door at a snail’s pace, taking in as little of his usually long stride. Zander leaned against the side of the front door and held my hand in two of his and kissed the back of my hand.
“This is it, I guess I’ll see you on Monday” Though his words had already bid goodbye, his eyes looked deep into me, expectant and longing. The kind of look enough to make my knee buckle and bend to whatever he may wish. I stared back at him, and swallowed, breathing deep and slow, I need to clear my head, and make wise decisions. I gave his hand a squeeze before slipping my hand free from his. I looked up at him and caressed his cheek gently and fleetingly, making sure not to aggravate any of his incurred injuries.
“See you on Monday” I whispered up to him, he stared at me one last time before nodding, he took hold of my hand on his cheek and turned his head, laying his lips on my awaiting palm.
“Monday” he whispered, his lips still against my hand before finally walking away from me and back to his car. I have seen his retreating figure countless times, for many years and many lifetimes, even when I was equipped with the thought that I will see him again, it never gets easy, nor does it get less painful. All there was, is a harsh and cold separation, abandonment, isolation, an endless pit of darkness and longing.
“Please stay,” I blurted out despite my wiser self, I stood there, feeling like a desperate idiot, and probably looking like it as he looked me with his forehead wrinkled in question.
“I mean for dinner, just for today” I tried to salvage whatever pride I had left, I gripped my hand in anticipation, my nails have engraved themselves on the leather handle. Though the wrinkle on his forehead subsided, Zander stayed in place for a few moments before chuckling and jogging back to me.
“I wouldn’t miss it for the world” he smiled to me, and I lead him up to my apartment. I opened the door and offered to take his coat to keep and hang in the coat rack.
“Whoa” Zander ‘s breath was caught in his throat as he stood at the entryway of my apartment, taking everything in. From the baby blue wallpaper, lined with vines of light pink and white roses, to the white moldings of the walls, and the wooden floor to the soft cream couch.
“I didn’t know they had apartment like this.” Zander’s voice exited his mouth like a sigh slowly walking forward.
“They don’t, I had it remodeled to the house I lived in before I moved to London” I explained as I slipped into my apron as soon as I put away my things. I opened my refrigerator to look for things, grimacing at my sheer stupidity of inviting Zander to my place for dinner without even being sure if I had something to serve on the table.
“It’s a beautiful, it must’ve been a wonderful place to grow up in” Zander said sitting himself on the kitchen’s island chair. I froze in front of the refrigerator’s cold air, my heart raced right that very second, as my mind hurried a hundred miles an hour, trying to recall the very specifics of what I have told him.
What did I tell him?
“Uh, yeah, it was” I answered, shutting the door, with a little more force than I intended and glided to stand in front of him across the kitchen isle.
“So do you have any allergies, food restriction or preferences?” I changed the subject, placing the palms of my hand on the surface of the kitchen island.
“Surprise me, I’ll take everything you will give me with gracious and grateful acceptance” he said, making a grand gesture of what almost seem like a gentry bow as he remained on his seat.
“Okay, I’ll go get dinner started you can go do-“ I thought for a second, racking my brain on what do guests do when they visit? I began realizing how totally unprepared I am for this dinner invite.
“Why don’t we start with some music, I noticed you have that gorgeous vinyl record player over there” he stood and ran over to the corner of the room and busied himself with my collection of vinyl records.
“How do you feel like pasta?” I called out to him,
“Like heaven” he called back, I began preparing in the kitchen.
“You have quite the collection of classics here”
“I’m a bit of an old soul” I replied. My taste has been questioned so many times, my mind almost automatically answers with that phrase.
“It’s all good and well, but have you ever heard of ABBA?”
“Who?” I asked looking to him to be met with a look that can only be pure shock.
“Don’t tell me you don’t know ABBA, Stevie, Elton, Marvin Gaye, the Rolling Stones” he listed down unfamiliar names with me as he walked towards me and back on his seat in front of me.
“Oh, come one, you must have heard some of them, they play it on the radio all the time, you do have a radio, don’t you?” Zander exclaimed, though the latter of his sentence turning a bit more cautionary.
“I do, it’s right over there, I just don’t listen to the radio much, so I am not that familiar with their names of the names of their songs” I laughed at his theatrics and nodded my head towards the general direction of the radio.
“Oh, you are in for a treat” he said and started combing through my apartment for that lone radio in the corner. He tinkered with it for a few minutes the sounds of whirring and a few squeaks filled the silent room until finally the sound of upbeat instruments filled the room.
“This is the sound of the decade” Zander said spreading out his arms, I must admit, the way the instruments played together in a jolly upbeat manner send my spirits livelier. In the rush of the music, Zander walked to stand next to me in the kitchen, rolling up his sleeves.
“What are you doing?” I asked him incredulous.
“Helping out, I can’t let you do all the work when I have two perfectly cable helping hands around, so what can I help you with?” I stared at him, hoping that he would get the clue and stand down, but the innocently mischievous look in his eyes told me that we could have a good stare down and he still would not budge, so instead I gave in to him and instructed him to wash the vegetables for the salad.
“You know around you way the kitchen” I commented as I secretly watched him from the corner of my eyes as he prepared the salad. He worked in the kitchen the way he worked in the office; I was almost impressed.
“My mom would have me help her in the kitchen from time to time, reminding me that we may live comfortably, but we should always know how to do things ourselves, that was especially helpful when I moved to the big city for to attend university, alone” Zander explained.
“Wise woman”
“My dad would definitely agree” he said finishing the salad, but he did not leave the kitchen in favor of leaning against the island helping himself to a handful of olives.
“So, what about you, what was your childhood like” Zander asked and for a moment I thought about what to tell him. I can lie and tell him I was an orphan and grew up alone but lying to him tasted worse than a bitter melon pushed down by an overly roasted coffee on a hot summer’s day. In contemplation, I began to remember what was life like in the beginning years of my existence.
“Well, I grew up with a few siblings, we were pretty rowdy especially in the ha- spring season. My oldest brother would take us out to picnics while my sisters gathered flowers and my brothers’ played games.” I answered honestly as vaguely as I can, smiling as I remember the memories of a chilly wind and the hot sun intermingling as we ate the sweets made for us.
“And you, what did you do, did you gather flowers or were you one of the mischievous boys” Zander asked.
“Well, I would probably just sit and watch everyone, then when everybody’s busy I would sneak away”
“To where?”
To be with you…
“To watch the sunset on the best view… up the tallest tree in the garden” I told him, leaving out the fact how exactly I got on the tree.
“So you’re siblings, they don’t visit you here in the big city?”
“We’re not exactly in good terms” I replied, slowing to a still.
“Well, that finishes this, why don’t you set the table and wait for me there while I plate up everything” I cut off the deafening silence.
“Chicken Parmigiano with a side of pasta marinara and with your help, caprese salad” I presented the food, before opening a bottle of red wine from Italy.
“You’re not the only fond of the wine selection from the region” I answered his questioning eyes as I let the wine breath.
“Everything looks amazing,” Zander sighed closing his eyes as he chewed the slice of chicken.
Throughout dinner we exchanged our tastes on music, wine, and food whilst outside the evening slowly turned to the night.