'A lost student, a fresher at campus just as he is a newbie today. In retrospect, I often wondered to myself if I had any right toffee this much attraction towards someone I'd just met.
From the very beginning, I knew I should have avoided him. It's such a shame that then and now, I haven't changed at all. While he spoke to me, surprisingly, I caught the scent of soap coming off of his body. I remember that day like it was yesterday.
He wore me down to the last cell. Every fibre of my being craved to touch an innocent boy fresh out of high school and just like before, he smelled of a different kind of soap when he entered my office and thoughts of him in the shower clouded my mind even whilst scolding him.
As I recall, his skin was taut... It must feel hard to the touch. Still, this was not how I remember him. He used to carry himself lightly as skinny as a twig but now, I'm sure there must be a thudding sound with every step he takes. Who would have thought the shy boy would sprout up as such? The stuttering timid voice had gained confidence... The white hat that made him stand out...
Mashmellow head...' Ari chuckled.
'You still continue to take me off guard despite many years passing on and even while I pretend to be okay, after what Mun had said about you, I find myself remembering the hate I felt towards you when you disappeared.
Because of you, I forced myself to move on, failing to feel the same way with anyone else. You'd secretly tore a part of me and disappeared a long with it that I felt dead in every relationship I got into. Perhaps if you hadn't crossed my path that day, or even offered to help you find your class, maybe then, I'd have... -What I'm I thinking right now?
Like a fool, I looked for you in everyone I met that even whilst in pain, I wanted no one but you because a part of me still thought I'd meet you one day. Of course I forgot you but then as if life is playing tricks on me, you show up and get my feelings mixed up again, looking much more handsome than before.
Aren't you just so cruel? Your body, jaw, breath, hair, eyes, lips...everything! I want them all to myself! Your mere existence is a nuisance and to discover you look down on my feelings...
I hate you to the core.
Either way, there shall be no fraternizing with employees. Committing social intimate acts with members of staff is just asking for trouble, especially for someone in my position.'
"I can smell your impure thoughts Ari." Mun appeared peeping at the door of his friend's office. "Your cheeks are as red as it can get."
Embarrassed, Ari briefly tilted his chin up then sighed. It was a relief it hadn't been another person. His eyes falling back onto his laptop screen, he scoffed bitterly. "Go away. I'm busy."
Mun laughed at his friend's coldness, a side of his character he'd grown accustomed to then entered the office and shut the door behind him. "If you like him so much just tell him. You didn't get your chance the first time and messed up the second time too. Call him on a date then ask him out properly."
"Can we not discuss this here? It's office hours."
"But it seems to be affecting you. If you want, I can transfer him to another department or better yet, have him fired so you can once more pretend to move on."
"That's unprofessional. Besides, he has done nothing wrong to me."
"He is just freaked out by you and I don't blame him either. What you did that day, blurting out that you are gay was indeed something. I would hide from you too if I were him."
Closing his laptop, Ari gave up chasing Mun away and looked up at him in the eye. "That day will go down as the most embarrassing moment of my life. Compared to your statue of liberty spectacle, yours is nothing. Good thing he is disgusted by me so that means he won't be telling anyone a gay guy hit on him in the most awkward way possible. Though, I wonder. Hasn't he asked you how we knew him?"
"Perfect timing with that question. He asked me earlier today and I explained the most relevant parts to him. Turns put he transferred schools because someone was stalking him."
"What?"
"Relax. I didn't tell him it was us. Well, technically it was you. I was merely being a supportive friend."
"Way to throw me under the bus."
"He wasn't my love interest so like I said, I'm a supportive friend."
"Who should be at his desk at this moment? And stop being so sly at work with me. People won't take me seriously."
"They do. It's only your crush that appears rather dissolutioned. He seems like a diligent worker though and is hands on with whatever task we hand him. You are the only indecent human being in this entire department having caught you daydreaming about who's naked butt you're going to shove yourself into."
Ari sighed again, opening his laptop back up once more. "I should have known to never take you seriously at giving a decent advice."
Mun giggled. "Oh yea?"
A knock on the door surprised them both and Mun turned to look at Ari. "No one ever approaches your door or are you expecting anyone?"
Ignoring his best friend, Ari inquired, "Who is it?"
There was a slight hesitation before the person identified themselves and Ari asked for them to come in. To his surprise, Rey was standing behind one of the new recruits Mun had selected to mentor however, it was Rey that caught both Mun and Ari's attention. They looked at each other and hoped they hadn't been too vocal during their discussion.
"Rey," Mun was the first to speak. "I didn't know you were here too."
"I came on a personal matter however, my colleague wanted to inform you about the constant ringing of the phone on the desk..."
"Oh, right!" Mun rushed out with the other new staff. "I was expecting a call! I'll chat with you later Ari!"
"Don't neglect work next time!" Ari responded, hiding his false confidence with the scolding remark. Now, it was just him and Rey. "Do you mind closing the door behind you?"
"I mind."
'Of course a homophobe would.' "How can I help you."
"I came to place in my resignation."
"Resignation?"
"Whilst applying for this job, I had an existing application elsewhere and I've been presented with a better offer than the one I'm currently receiving here."
'Yea right.' "Alright then. May I have your resignation letter then?"
While walking towards Ari, who'd extended his hand to receive the letter, Rey further explained, "I have sent a soft copy to the human resource department and CC'd you. However, seeming that I'm under this department, it is only fair I submit my resignation to you in person as well.
"Then why don't you?"
"Pardon?"
"My hand has been dangling in the air but you aren't placing the letter on it. Or is it that you find me repulsive enough to not want to touch anything I might touch?"
"I... I'm..." Rey hesitated then immediately retracted his hand. "This has nothing to do with that."
"I can see right through you. It's obvious your disgust for me has pushed you to this decision. My guess is there is no job offer you have received. I have a few networks around the area and I happen to know we were the only company hiring for the last three months. If I'm wrong, hand me your resignation but if I'm right, then have the capacity to stomach working with people you don't like. This is work and having said that, you are here to perform and my sexual orientation has nothing to do with how I work. If you can not separate your feelings from your career responsibilities then I have no choice but to fire you without a recommendation. You barely completed a week yet you wish to resign over what? Your boss being gay?"
"T-That's not..."
"Mr. Rey, say a major client is gay or part of the LGBTQ community, will you fail to close a deal because their sexual orientation repulses you? Are you that unable to distinguish work from your your personal opinions?"
Rey remained silent, unable to look at Ari in the eye. He glanced at the white envelope in his hand, his hands sweaty from being thoroughly unmasked. Everything Ari had said was true but still, he knew if he were to explain the misunderstanding from his perspective, it would only make things worse for him. 'It's the fact that I know you have some sort of sexual attraction towards me that makes me uncomfortable. How can you like another man? Aren't you ashamed of yourself?'
"What is it going to be Mr. Rey? My arm is hurting from waiting for your resignation letter."