#Chapter4 #Chasedbacktohometown
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"Abort abort, they're coming" I yelled like a soldier.
Dad still carrying mom on his shoulder turned and together we took the back exit.
Still chased we got out and instead of dad, I took the driver's seat and drove away.
Luckily for us, we escaped the cops but I know you're wondering where did I learn how to drive?
One of the pieces of training I had from my dad was, he taught me how to ride a car when I clocked 15. It was his birthday gift for me and it was quite fun, not for him.
I maintained a straight driving position if there's something called that, drove straight to our family house somewhere in Sedona city, also maintained a non-silence mode between me and dad.
It was a long drive. I made many thoughts, many decisions, and lots of inward crying and anger.
Exactly 30 minutes, we got to the streets of lake road which was very dark and quiet. I drove slowly with my eyes glaring and glancing at both sides for any suspicious activity.
Getting to the house, I parked and swiftly came out of the car. I went to the back of the car while Dad took Mom out of the car. Together we took a route to the back of the huge house. It looked ancient. There were many cracks and holes in the wall.
According to what I was told, the house was built by my seventh great-grandfather in the year 1689. Since then, it was passed from generation to generation and I guess dad would want the same for me..... I wish.
With the shovel I took from the back of the car, dad started digging while I sat on the bare ground pointing a torch light at him and also placing mom's head on my body. I mean dead head, caressing her hair with tears on my face.
I wasn't scared though the chirps of crickets were nearly enough to scare me. I was emphatically lost to the fact that I lost my mom. I can't still believe it.
We had to bury her on time because according to our tradition, dead people must be buried dead in the night. Legends as it that any blood of Navajo tribe that dies must be buried at midnight so that their spirits could travel into the next realm.
Some minutes later, dad finished digging the ground with an accomplishment of creating four feet of depth. He walked slowly into the garage with a dirty and smelling body and came out with a long white dirty blanket. He took Mom and wrapped her gently, tying both her leg and hands.
We made a prayer in our language as a sign of offering appeasement to the gods of the realm for a safe transfer of her spirit. Two minutes, we ended the prayer and dropped her body into the hole.
After covering her with the sand, dad dropped the shovel and walked towards me. He sat on the ground where I squatted staring at her grave. He thought since we had not talked about mom's death, maybe this would be the right time. Realizing he was about to say something, I quickly cut him off.
"So what is it gonna be Uhh? Mom's gone, you've lost your job, and we're back in our hometown, looking at what just happened, seems like I'll be away from school for a while. So tell me, what is it gonna be?" I said with anger but I never showed it.
"Blaze I'm pained and not happy with what's going on but I want you to know that whatever life brings, I'm still here for you"
Hearing that, I turned and stared at him with my brows furrowed together
"Did you just say here for me?" I paused with my mouth wide open.
I wasn't expecting an answer so I continued "you never supported me, you never cared for me, you never show concern about what I do, same for mom. You were never there for mom" I tried to express my feelings to him not when he interrupted.
"I was always there for your mom Blaze"
"But she's dead" I pointed at her grave with a scoff "Don't you get it? In case you don't, I'll put it to you that you killed mom" I stated with drops of fluids coming out of my mouth.
"What? why will you say that?" he asked with his brows raised.
"That's because she died due to your goddamn work. Maniacs at your workplace thought of the best thing to do to bring you down because you're the all-mighty genius and all they could think of is to kill mom"
I barked my voice getting loud. My veins were now throbbing hard. It was like I should hit him but I couldn't even though I could.
Yeah, I'm in grade 11, a grade away from my last class which would trigger me to college. So you could say I'm a bit built to hit my soon old father.
"It's not what you think Blaze" dad continued.
"Then what is it? The only person who ever understands me is gone. Gone dad! Do you know what that means? I'll never get to see her again"
Dad felt so devastated and burdensome as he didn't know what to do or say. Instead, he broke into tears
"I'm sorry Blaze, I-I- I am. I never thought that things would go on like this."
Seeing dad in tears made me pissed. I shook my head with my teeth gnashed together and shockingly I said what I had always wanted to say to him
"I am not sorry to say this Dad, I hate you, I hate you for the death of mom, I hate you for being wicked to me, I hate you for everything!" Angrily I rose and walked into the house. Dad also stood up and followed me but couldn't keep pace. He was getting close to me yelling my name when I got into a room and shut the door in his face...
I rested on the door with tears falling from my eyes. I felt like hitting him but I couldn't. I had no choice but to bang the door repeatedly with my fist, till I fell to the ground. The pain of knowing that I lost mom was too much. I couldn't save her "she died in my place" I thought to myself.
I felt my heart beating very fast. It was so painful that I had an attack. I held my chest in pain, grasping unto the leg of a wooden table. This is the end for you, my subconsciousness kept telling. Then I thought, it's better to die than live with a devil in the flesh.
But I was disappointed. The pain suddenly stopped and it felt like ice water was poured on my chest. I sat up and rested my head on the door, with my eyes closed. Inhaling and exhaling were what I did repeatedly. Then I stopped with my eyes open, staring at the ceiling which was painted white. The room was surprisingly neat except for the cobwebs which were at the top edge of the walls. Aside from that, everywhere was arranged but was dusty.
It was now past 3 and I was feeling sleepy. I wanted to reflect on past adventures and moments I had with Mom but I couldn't. My eyes were getting weak so I decided to close them for a moment. Next thing, I woke up due to the reflection of the sun that came through the crack of a window. I felt so sleepy that I fell and wanted to doze off, not when a voice yelled inside my head "It's time you get your butt off the ground and start a new day"