Reality has always been a complex flow of information that cannot be controlled alone. No one is capable of this except, one who created this current. Naturally, we are talking about the primordial, supreme creation, which doesn't have a single appearance. Today he is kind grandfather, giving a chance, and tomorrow he is violent teenager, unable siting still because of his incompetence.
— Do you mean how I knew that?
It's extremely difficult for me to explain exactly what is happening, but after going through swing of fate, I suddenly became a stone. And not quite simple, but real fragment of wisdom that existed for centuries on mortal earth. All experience accumulated by inanimate creature seeped right into my thoughts and mixed with my memories. If I were a person who received so much knowledge in instant, my head would be torn into small pieces. Because relative to time line, my whole life is no more than a grain of sand. A grain that doesn't have much weight in the universe.
The whole mountain has been through a real hell. Lava, wind, water, what wasn't endured. Deformation, submission, resistance, with pronounced coloring accompanied days, years, centuries… The story through which inanimate objects pass is boring and monotonous, but at same time fascinating. In fact, I felt like, starting with big bang, planets began appear, including the Earth. But these feelings are as far away as they are complex. If I saw everything from a third person, like some kind of documentary, then "Wow effect" would never come to end, to very climax.
Unfortunately, my senses are blunted, and concepts of reality are stretched. Eternal haze consuming remnants of my soul proves that life of the smallest piece of that mountain, though filled with incredible adventures, is still dry and lonely. Monotony and everyday life suffocated with incredible force, not even allowing you to try influence reality and get out of the eternal darkness of dark abode…
Having turned every moment of existence this object, you only begin understand that in reality you have become a stone because some God's trick. How should I feel? Am I angry or upset? At the moment…
— Nothing.
That's right, stone doesn't have any emotions. This is what soul and all chemical interactions in my body are deprived of. Those who try say opposite, squeeze out a simple falsehood, especially in this case. I don't feel hungry, I don't have sight and hearing, I can't even contact outside world. All a piece of cobblestones have is its history. All events are reflected on it, even if is not alive and has no nerve endings. The deformation itself presents information about environment. Even though I am in void, when even the smallest piece of my body breaks off from foundation, sadness is experienced too.
***
How long has it been? Is it day or night now? Pitch darkness absorbs, but abyss still doesn't let go. Nothing changes, this world is static. Chained to the bottom of reality itself, I understand that there is absolutely nothing to do. World and its very concept mean more and more to me…
I haven't moved for an uncounted amount of time. All I'm waiting is for someone come and pick me up. It will return, as if it's a terrible nightmare of playful puppeteer, and not reality. He will say: "It was a prank!", and I myself was lying in coma from an electric shock. How is my family? My parents, even if they didn't devote so much time to me, were always loved by me. There's a lot I haven't done with them yet…
I also remember about my sister Alice. A real beauty who continued go to school after the ninth grade, although, like me, she was dissuaded. When she found out that I had entered the best university in country, she wanted follow in my footsteps... I don't know how much I just want to find her and hug, even if she is against it.
My brother Nikita has been working for a huge company for a long time. I never said goodbye to him, as well as to Dima. We parted on terrible note, never meeting again... Childhood friends, never spill the water... Brothers… They were equally important to me.
— And how long are you going to lie like this?
How long or how fast... What's the difference? I'm not even a stone anymore, it turns out I'm just a ghost floating with the flow. So, there is something in my life that hasn't allowed me reach true success. Maybe I had too easy path. I was never able get in touch with my fellow students. Many of them are still offended with me because of opening speech. And I still feel awkward about some colleagues at work. I don't remember at all what I was doing that evening... Alice, bearing same name as my sister, became my girlfriend. I loved my little sister more than anything in the world, so this name became personification of warmth and kindness for me. Everything that I exalted in another girl, head of the student council, was reality. She matched every selfish greed as if it were given. Daydream for which I was ready do anything.
I don't think Kostya is blame for this outcome. I didn't know him at all, and I didn't glow so that they held grudge against me. Blaming another person, especially someone you don't know very well, is a baseness that even I won't go for. Fedor... they say there are no perfect people. He is young, ambitious, eloquent and attracts a lot of attention, although he needed simple communication of non-blinded person. Danya was just a friend. And the ex-girlfriend has nothing to do with it. What was I wrong in that I was electrocuted to the point of losing my memories? So much so that even voices in my head seem to be…
— I'll ask you again, how long are you going to lie like this?
The timbre of that voice changes with each remark. Space itself was distorted, transmitting waves of sound. And view… I was still blind and couldn't see anything else, only deep black.
— What's difference? Do I have a choice?
All I have do is scream in my mind, and creature will hear me. I don't know if it reads all the thoughts or not, but it will be more ashamed if it understands whole picture of what is happening.
— Choice? You need it?
Indeed, have I become so famous as a herbivore that I am not even worthy of choice?
— All that I managed to achieve has sunk into oblivion. Friends, relatives, relationships, studies. I felt really lucky, but I paid for it. Why is that?
— It looks like you haven't remembered everything, let's start from beginning.
Unfortunately, I'm not only sobered up, but also fully realized events of hundred years that I was abandoned here.
— I remembered or not, what difference does it make, the world no longer has colors, life no longer exists, and I... became a stone at all. Everyone has already forgotten about me.
— You still remember.
The shock of the current knocked my memory so much that I mentally went back a few months ago. I experienced such a shock once in my life… I would like say, hopefully, for the last time, but… This was the last one.
— Tell me, God, who is blame for my death?
— ...
— Kostya? Or maybe Fyodor deceived me?
— ...
— Danya? Alice? Dima? How many names should I say?
—....
But God didn't answer. Silence simply corroded and continued pressing on soul with a crushing crack. I really can't feel anything, but in depths of my soul, only one emotion was born — anger. Anger is different from usual one. Only he is an indicator that I am alive and only he brings truth. This is not an accident. I was killed by deity himself…
— You can change your appearance as much as you want, but you know, I feel everything. Even a desiccated stone will don't be able bind my thoughts and mind. So who am I if God contradicts himself?
— What are you talking about?
— Don't pretend, you're not good at it. You can't bring me back, right?
— …
The deity was silent.
— I finally began to fulfill a dream, the only one in my monotonous life, I made friends, girlfriend and even thanked almighty. But this is how you repay me?
— …
— Well, you shouldn't be silent, even soul has way to leave body, especially if it is immortal.
— Really you…
— That's right. My life doesn't make sense anymore. There isn't the slightest desire to do anything. I will dissolve into stream, and my soul will leave cold shell. I won't do anything. Absolutely.
— Don't you have the slightest desire to live?
Doesn't it look like it me? What's point of me living a hundred billion lives in stream of reincarnations if I'm not happy? Meaning me…
"Even if I say there's way to get back?"
— ...
Now I was silent.
— If I said that I can fulfill wish, it doesn't mean that there are any restrictions.
— ...
Still silent.
— Think about it.
***
Perhaps another decade has passed. All this time I lay in silence, completely motionless and not even thinking about different things. I have nothing else to do, and when even idleness turned into torment, I could no longer be silent. Probably, another moment has passed for God himself, unattainably small and fast, as if the world itself hasn't changed from fact that I have been stuck for hundreds of years, being a rock.
— Tell me, please, how do I get back?
Hatred was replaced by sadness. I'm not at all happy be stuck in stone.
— In words, everything is simple, but...
— ...
— You need to become deity so that you can allow yourself change reality.
Great, just become god. Even before these events, I was thinking how to pass the session, and now I have go through impossible paths no less abstract things.
— And how is it possible for an ordinary person become supreme?
In fact, nothing. At least, you can't do without magic here. Although, stuttering about this in presence of creator of world isn't best idea.
— Don't worry, you don't need ascend.
Thank you also for the fact that I will not repeat plots of religious books. The fate of main character there is not fun at all, far from what everyone wants go through on the way to becoming omnipotent.
— How much pain I still have experience.
— Who knows? All I can say is that you have go through scenarios of worlds and then your soul evolves.
— Scripts?
— I think you'll find out soon enough. I need get everything ready, so don't worry.
And after that I didn't hear any voices for a long time. Why exactly votes? Well, again, the deity doesn't have a single shell and it's difficult somehow designate him. Will I become same thing? I wouldn't like lose my appearance after all that awaits me.
I signed something terribly troublesome and endless. I remember isekai was popular in my world? How much would a story that is so unpredictable and has no end become a break in template? I sincerely hope that I will be able achieve my return back and do those things that I didn't realize at time. I am ready think over millions of forks and hundreds of actions just in order to find the meaning of life again.
Although I am quite persistent, I am sure that my soul will not be able to withstand so many magnitudes. These aren't just flows of force, as in Physics, obviously, I am not the first to move in this way. Why do I hope that most colorful and…
— Everything is ready. From now on, your journey begins on behalf of my apostle.
Apostle? Wait, we didn't sign up for this! Should I spread religion or what?