[sexual implications r*pe suicide sexual content]
callus lays besides Xavier they smiled at eachother callus wrapped himself around him.
they only cuddled once and that was before.
things got worse it all felt like a dream.
how did everything change so fast?
why did Xavier's feelings change?
why couldn't he still love him?
but apart of him still cared- but that disappeared- and he had hurt him badly
that night was so painful- it tormented him
he didn't want to remember it but it was ingrained in his head- and he could only remember the painful words that he had told him- he was so broken- all he wanted was to be happy- he thought he had it with him
but everything turned out this way-
what did he do to deserve this?
he had no choice but to kill him
he kissed him goodbye- he didn't understand why he could still love him after everything
did he like getting hurt over and over again?
he hated it- all the torture he went through
but he still went back to him - why did he do it? did he want to get hurt again?
did he like the pain? but he was happy again right? he got everything he wished for
sex was never required - and after the trauma he went through- he couldn't- but he needed it-
but he didn't want Xavier to push himself
but that's what he did and he got hurt
really badly- both physically and emotionally
it's just like how it was with his wife
and more he thought about it- he reminded him of her- not everything was the same-
for one they never f*cked- or done- "guy stuff"
because she wasn't a guy- and he hates remembering her- but it's like- she's still attached to him- and now the one he loved
is only a constant reminder- of her
he hurt him just like her she used him
never sexually- but he had to do everything for her and she kissed him but he never asked for it- but he bared with it because he loved her
but when they started a company together
she got an idea in her head that he was trying to take over thier company and she got upset
she beat him up until he was paralyzed
he wasn't paralyzed this time but it still hurt
alot- it felt like how it did back then-
he doesn't understand how he didn't hate him
he used him just like she did she said she loved him and kissed him- she used him
until she didn't need him anymore-
and that's how it felt with him-
he thought things would be different with him
that he wouldn't get hurt again- but he got hurt again and again-and he's not sure how to be happy again- he was happy for a bit-
he was proposed to- it was like a dream
f*ck he even wore a dress- and as much as he never admit it- he's glad they didn't have sex
but- that other thing was fun- and he might do it again
when he opened his eyes he was in Xavier's arms and he hugged him tight
Xavier opened his eyes and smiled
"did you have a good dream?" Xavier asked
"it wasn't at first- it was terrifying-but the end was still good-" he replied
"can you tell me everything?" Xavier asked
"I can- despite what I saw and felt- I trust you- but maybe that's false hope-" he replied
"Cal I'm really sorry- you should have told me that you were hurting sooner- and I want to do everything to make it up to you" Xavier replied
"then how about never f*ck me" he replied
"what-but I thought you wanted it?" Xavier replied
"Not anymore- how you did it in the dream terrified me- and it hurt alot-" he replied
"oh- well I won't force you- you were already hurt alot- and I hate to hurt you again-" Xavier replied
"You didn't mean to hurt me apart of me enjoyed it- but I felt as if I was being used
because she kissed me like you did-
and she told me over and over again that she loved me until she hurt me and in the dream you did the same thing- and you hurt me like her- I wasn't paralyzed but it still hurt alot
and you said cruel words too" he replied
"what was it that I said?" Xavier asked
"You couldn't kill me you can't even stand- now
and you couldn't stand up to your wife either if you did you wouldn't have ended up like that-" and ironically I ended up killing you" he replied
"I- Cal that's horrible- I would never say that-
or hurt you again-" Xavier replied
"You hurt me badly- at first I tried to enjoy it
but it was torture- and the only thing that could keep me from focusing on the pain was more pain- you bit me pretty hard and in so many places- my whole body ached- it didn't help that you still f*cked me- and your final words broke me-" he replied
"what were those final words?" Xavier asked
"only you could love a monster like me- you f*cking Masochist-" he replied
"Cal- I'm sorry- and I mean it- and knowing that I hurt you- like this it makes me feel worse-and those things you imagined I promise I'll never hurt you like that-because I love you Cal truly-" Xavier replied
"how can- you love me?-you've only liked my body-that's all I'm good for- I'm just a meal to you- and after you finish you'll just throw me out-" he replied
"No Cal You are more than that- I know it may be hard to believe but I do care about you
seeing you hurt like this it hurts me too
I want to do everything to make it better
I want us to be happy again-" Xavier replied
"but it's impossible we can't be happy-" he replied
"it may seem that way but you know what they say fate is not what it seems" Xavier replied
"You-said it-you said it-" he sobbed
Xavier hugged him tight
"of course I did it was our thing- how could I not say it- now was the perfect time wasn't it?" Xavier replied
"Yeah- does- that mean you're going to propose?" he replied
"What- did I do that in the dream?!" Xavier shouted
"Yeah you even got on one knee- it was so perfect-" he replied
"ha I wasn't thinking that far ahead-f*ck I only thought about sex- and I'm sorry-" Xavier replied
"It's alright-you still have all the time in the world- I'll wait until you're ready-and you probably wouldn't wear a wedding dress-" he replied
"a wedding dress?! you always imagined me in a dress- did I f*ck you in it?" Xavier replied
"You couldn't I told you what happened before and you didn't want to hurt me-" he replied
"then what did we do on our honeymoon?" Xavier asked
callus was bright pink-
"come on cal- tell me- no need to be ashamed" Xavier replied
"Well you finally got a taste of my big juicy cock and you enjoyed it" he replied
Xavier turned bright red
"how- did- you know-that-I-wanted it?!" Xavier replied
"Well if I didn't stop you you might have done it-" he replied
"I would have- I wanted it badly- to taste it's full length-" Xavier replied
"You did- I shoved it down your throat and I began to rock back and forth you were loving it-and when I filled you up with my frosting
you were in heaven-" he replied
Xavier turned bright red
"I really enjoyed it?-and it sounds like our roles were reversed-" Xavier replied
"I guess you could say that- you liked when I rubbed your nipples too-" he replied
"I-youre not touching them-" Xavier replied
"come on zavi why not?- you'll enjoy it" he replied
"You're not turning me into a Masochist" Xavier replied
"I won't touch you where you don't want-" he replied
"You're going to make me bottom- aren't you?" Xavier replied
"It's whatever you're comfortable with-and I can teach you how to do it right-" he replied
"but I thought you didn't want me to f*ck you?" Xavier replied
"Well not now but maybe in the future- and I don't want you to force yourself - wait until you're ready- and I'm not ready either" he replied
"Well alright- then maybe we'll get married and have a kid-" Xavier replied
[real Xavier and real Cal} commentary}]
"I predicted that way earlier than I thought- and it actually happened-"
"but you never predicted that I choose both of you."
"Actually, I may not have realized it, but I did as well. from the moment you used your pickup line on Malik-and it was both malik and Lorain that had predicted we would become husbands, but it wasn't exactly like how we imagined it - Malik was an afterthought-"
"I never got a chance to in the past, so I took that opportunity and I was the happiest I could ever be-"
"You remember it?-"
"I remember from when I saw Malik and with you talking so much about him and when you told me about it everything fit into place-"
"That means it's getting better and that this is helping that's a good sign - I was worried that you would fully suppress it-"
"suppress it?"
"Cal- you had and still have a lot of emotional and mental problems and it's understandable with everything that you went through-"
"how do you know about that I mean I assume that being with me as long as you have but why does it sound like you know it personally?-" Callus asked
"Because I went through the same thing Cal, and you had helped me through it even though we hurt each other in the process. -"
"oh-I'm sorry-" Cal replied
"it's fine Cal you don't have to apologize all that matters is things worked out in the end-" Xavier replied
callus smiled and nodded
but how is this things turning out well? when I'm on my deathbed?}]
"A kid?!-but-how- would that- be possible?" he replied
"Well Malik did say it was possible-with demons- that is-he- once got pregnant-by one -and it wasn't Satan-" Xavier replied
"so- you met Malik too- he told you this?" he replied
"he didn't go into detail about it-" Xavier replied
"so you want me to be- f*cked by a demon?" he replied
"No- that wasn't what I meant-well unless I was that demon-" Xavier replied
"how would you become one?" he asked
"haven't the slightest clue-" Xavier replied
"It's probably not good- and I remember how much of a monster you were-" he replied
"do you mean when I f*cked you?" Xavier replied
"Yeah it hurt like hell- and I still don't want to go through that-" he replied
"You said you were going to teach me- so does that mean you learned how it works?" Xavier replied
"sort of- but you can't just put your d*ck in
you need to take care of my a** first-
and you need to put your fingers in -I liked it when you played with my a**-" he replied
"You- want me to put my fingers in your a**?" Xavier replied
"Yeah- definitely- put them in-my a** is aching for your touches-" he replied
"You are so shameless-" Xavier replied
"Well I can't help it- and do you only want to f*ck me to see if I get pregnant?" he replied
"I mean- I am interested- but what would we do- if it happened?" Xavier replied
"keep it- I thought you wanted a kid?" he replied
"I mean- if it's possible- then yeah- I don't mind
I keep it- but how would we take care of it?" Xavier replied
"I haven't the slightest clue-" he replied
"but I still want to be a father" Xavier replied
"maybe we can learn together-" he replied
"You're the mother" Xavier replied
"I-but aren't you the wife?" he replied
"Who said I was the wife? You are" Xavier replied
"You aren't being fair Zavi-" he replied
"if I'm the one f*cking you and you get pregnant doesn't that make you the wife?" Xavier replied
"I-but- I want to be the husband-" he replied
"You already had that fantasy- now it's time you go in mine-" Xavier replied
"I never forced you into my fantasies" he replied
"but you forced me in them-" Xavier replied
"Well- yeah you got me there- I imagined a lot of stuff that would make you uncomfortable-
like watching you strip - touching you all over
and f*cking you-" he replied
"You- wanted to r*pe me?!" Xavier shouted
"You wanted to do the same- to me" he replied
"I never do that to you- I hate to hurt you like that- I'm barely comfortable with touch and I can't put you in that state- and I hurt you really bad- I couldn't bare with it- I couldn't take it anymore - I end it-" Xavier replied
"You kill yourself?! he shouted
"what other choice would I have? I can't live like that- I love you Cal and if I truly hurt you-
I couldn't live with myself- you treated me so well- you loved me even if others couldn't-" Xavier replied
"but you always had someone who loved you-" he replied
"But they didn't at least not like you- you never once gave up on me- I could feel I was hurting you but I couldn't stop- but you still forgave me- I stopped loving you and I told you that I still loved you- because it was what I believed-
but I've changed- thanks to you- and I'm able to love you again-and you didn't give up on the other me did you? even after everything he did?" Xavier replied
"You're right- I don't get it I should hate you-
but I know you never truly wanted to hurt me-
but the other you did- and I had to kill him" he replied
"You did say that you did- and I can understand why I did and said all those things
that's why I kill myself- but you did-you were so sad and broken-" Xavier replied
"how did you know that I was-like that?" he replied
"because I know you- and how could you not be? I remember what trauma your wife brought
I may not have hurt you like her but I still hurt you-" Xavier replied
"I'm glad you changed-but- it's still hard to believe-" he replied
"what can I do to make you believe it?" Xavier replied
"hug me- please-" he replied
Xavier leaned in and hugged him tight
"I promise I'll never hurt you like that- because I love you-so much-" Xavier replied
"I know but I was so scared- the last person I loved hurt me- and they were just like you-
but- you are different too- you are much better than her- you can make me laugh and you're so shameless and you're so caring- and you changed yourself for me- but in a good way
you knew you were hurting me and rethought your actions- and I'm glad that you love me-" he replied
"I'm glad too and I know you tried to change for me but it wasn't good- you ended up hurting more- I want you to be yourself again-and it's okay to not be strong- I'm not going to hurt you- you don't have to suffer because I'm here for you-" Xavier replied
callus began to sob into his chest
Xavier hugged him tight
"It will be alright we'll get through this together I promise" Xavier replied
callus let out all his feelings-
he was so broken- and it wasn't real
but it- felt like it- but also not real at the same time- it felt like a really bad dream but it still had a happy ending- how could he be happy after everything? why didn't he just give up on him? because there wasn't anyone else
and he didn't want to be alone again
and could he be happy again?
he wanted that- but he was so scared
everything he had seen- told him- that there was a happy ending but something bad had happened first- and he didn't want to lose him
callus held on tightly and Xavier petted his hair stroking it callus looked up at him
"are you feeling better now?" Xavier asked
"mhm- I'm glad you're here- I was scared I lost you- and I'm still scared- how can we be happy again?" he replied
"You have me now and I love you and you love me- and that's enough isn't it?- we don't need more than that- right?" Xavier replied
"Yeah- you're right but I'm going to miss it-
but I'm good for now-and I still want to do more things but I'll wait for you-" he replied
"I don't feel like doing those things anymore-
I never liked those things but I did have fun
and I don't want to hurt you again-" Xavier replied
"I'm not going to force you and I want you to just love me for now- I know what I want but
I'm not ready for that-either-" he replied
"yet you wanted me to play with your a**" Xavier replied
Callus turned bright pink
"Well- that's because what you did- and I liked it alot-" he replied
"but you liked it alot when I bit you-" Xavier replied
"No- Zavi please don't- bite me again-" he replied
Xavier hugged him tight
"I'm not going to bite you- if you don't like it anymore then I'm not going to-I'll do whatever you're comfortable with- you always let me do what I wanted and it's time I do something you want-" Xavier replied
"then Can you please put them in?" he replied
Xavier slid his fingers down his back and grabbed his a** he squeezed it
callus let out a moan
"You like this don't you? you're so needy-" Xavier replied
Xavier moved his fingers in between his a**
callus let out a few more moans
he moved his finger over his needy hole
"are you sure you don't want it?" Xavier replied
"f*ck- you cockblocked me so many times-and you never gave me it- and I thought you never suck my cock- you made me want it badly- so don't tease me-" he replied
"your quite interesting Cal- you say you don't want it and then you say you do- you better make up your mind or I might do it now" Xavier replied
callus was bright pink-
"You don't have to force yourself for me-" he replied
"I'm not I want to do it-and you didn't let me do it-and now is the perfect time-" Xavier replied
"are you sure? don't just do it because it's what I want-" he replied
"I want it to I've been waiting so long to enter those sweet buns of yours" Xavier replied
"f*ck me Zavi-my a** wants it now-" he replied
Xavier pushed Callus down
he pulled down his pants along with his underwear and did the same
Xavier pushed in putting his full length in
callus let out a moan
and Xavier began to rock against him
callus rolled his eyes back enjoying it
Xavier hit his sweet spot over and over again
callus let out a few more moans
it felt amazing- so much better than last time
there was no pain at all- he was in heaven
he was so happy he had someone who loved him and he knew that person wouldn't hurt him again and he hoped the could live a happy life together- but that isn't happening
and this moment callus knew that was true