You know, sometimes we're motivated to do things without really thinking about them, things we might regret later.
That's exactly what I was about to do. I was studying for my second year exams when I made the decision to confess my love to Tsuki.
Crazy, right? But I was feeling brave.
I knew it wasn't a face-to-face confession, but a virtual one instead. But I figured, it's the same thing, isn't it? Both are about expressing our feelings to someone.
My friend Yozora always told me not to consider online confessions, so I'm sure he'll be disappointed when I tell him about this.
Also it's going to be our third year soon, that is our last year. I can't waste my time being shy.
I can't pretend that my dad's words alone motivated me to do this. It was a combination of things, but the biggest motivator was a song I heard.
The chorus of this song made me want a girlfriend, and the lyrics went something like this:
🎶This is what I've been talking about, a moment we won't forget. On top of the world, here together, if there ever was a time for a perfect kiss, this is it!🎶
What a romantic verse! And I hope I won't get in copyright problem for using them.
It was a Sunday, and I figured Tsuki Chan wouldn't be too busy with her club activities. That's why I started texting her.
Kousei: "Hey hey, Tsuki?"
Tsuki: "Hey hey, Kousei-kun."
I was a little nervous, but she replied fast, like she always does. I couldn't help but wonder if she was using a bot, but I pushed that funny thought aside.
Kousei: "How are you doing? How's your club activities?"
Tsuki: "I'm doing well, and I'm sorry I couldn't text you these past few days because of club activities. But they're going well. How about you?"
Kousei: "Don't worry about it. I'm doing fine too."
I wanted to keep the conversation going so I could work up the courage to confess.
Tsuki: "By the way, how's your suspension period? Sorry, but everyone in my club was talking about you and some of them wanted to know who the girl was that you saved. Can you tell me?"
She didn't know about Daichi trying to violate her. Yozora was going to tell her, but I asked him not to. I didn't want her to be scared or for anything to affect her hard work.
Kousei: "It's no big deal. I was just at the right place at the right time."
Tsuki: "I heard you saved Akio too. Coincidence or superhero? Haha."
Kousei: "Maybe I am a superhero, haha."
Tsuki: "Haha, yes, you are. I still remember when you lifted me up. I was so embarrassed. Haha."
Kousei: "I was embarrassed too, but you were slapping my head as we walked. It was so funny. That day was the best day of my life."
Tsuki: "Aww, that's so sweet. By the way, I have a question for you, Kousei-kun. I already asked, but it seems like you didn't see it."
Kousei: "What is it, Tsuki? I'm all ears."
Tsuki: "Who was the girl you saved? You don't have to say her name, but was it Kumori?"
PFFTTT... SHE WAS THE PROBLEM!!!
Kousei: "No, that's not who it was. That girl is not even close to who I saved."
Tsuki: "Oh, I'm sorry! I just had a feeling it might be her."
Kousei: "Why did you think that?"
Tsuki: "Well, you know how Kumori is always with me. But she wasn't with me during the school tour. She was with Daichi. And now she says she's taking a break from school and won't be coming or participating in club activities. So I thought maybe she was the one I saved."
Kousei: "I see, taking a break from school can be good for her. But let's not dwell on that. What are you working on for the song club?"
Tsuki: "I'm writing a song! And it's not just for the club. I'm doing it for my solo career. It's going to be my third year now and we club members should get selected by the companies."
Kousei: "That's true! I can't wait to hear your new song. What's it about?"
Tsuki: "It's a sad song about a puppet girl who is controlled by her masters. She tries to save herself but always fails."
Kousei: "Interesting! That's the same thing Yozora is planning to write as his novel. Did you two plan that together?"
Tsuki: "No, we didn't plan it. But there's a secret reason behind it. You'll understand soon."
Yet another mystery to solve! But before we get into that, I think it's finally time. I am ready to CONFESS.
Kousei: "Speaking of important things, I have something to tell you, Tsuki."
Tsuki: "Yeah? What is it, Kousei? "
Kousei: "I don't know if this is the right time or if you'll even understand what I'm trying to say, but I can't hold it back anymore."
Tsuki: "I'll do my best to understand."
Kousei: "I've been a fool, holding everything in and trying to run away from reality. But here goes, I have to say it."
Tsuki: "You're starting to sound like Yozora now with all the build up! Haha, I'm ready to hear it."
Kousei: "To be honest, I wasn't excited when I got into this school. I was feeling lonely and surrounded by darkness on the first day. But then something happened that I never expected."
Tsuki: "I remember you telling me about not being happy. What happened?"
Kousei: "A shining moon came and rescued me. It chased away the darkness and made me want to shine like a star."
Tsuki: "Wait a minute! Haha, what happened to you? You're talking like Yozora now, with all the star and moon stuff. Are you Yozora? Is this a prank?"
Kousei: "Haha, do you know what my mom said when Yozora spoke like that? She asked if he was an astronomy student or something. His characteristics are contagious."
Tsuki: "I know, right? Haha, I used to copy his style too."
AHAHA WOW! I AM STUPID DUMB ASS... I JUST CHANGED THE WHOLE SUBJECT.
However, she brought it back.
Tsuki: "But to get back to what you were saying before, I think I understand what you're trying to say, but I'm not sure."
Kousei: "Umm? What do you think it is? Say it XD"
Tsuki: "I'm sorry if I'm wrong, but it feels like you're trying to confess your love. That's not going to happen, right?"
Dang! That is a checkmate! What should I say now? Should I just confess?
I don't know what to do anymore! There is no need for more dramatic dialogues! I should go straight to confession!
Kousei: "Well, actually..." I took a deep breath. "Tsuki, I love you. You are the one who brought meaning to my life."
My heart raced as I finally mustered the courage to confess my love. This moment will forever be ingrained in my memory as my first ever declaration of affection.
However, my excitement was short-lived as I noticed that Tsuki took longer than usual to reply. As I anxiously checked my phone, I saw that she had gone offline for 10 minutes. I was filled with a mixture of nerves and hope as I waited for her response.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity, she came back online and replied to my message."
Tsuki: "Are you serious?"
Kousei: "Yes, I'm being 100% honest. You saved me from the darkness, and I've fallen in love with you."
Tsuki: "Why me? Is there a specific reason?"
Kousei: "Yes, because you saved me. I mean it with all my heart."
Tsuki: "But that's a cliché line that everyone uses, right? Is that the only reason?"
Kousei: "It may be cliché, but it's what I feel. I love you, Tsuki. Do you love me?"
Tsuki: "Kousei-kun, I don't know how to answer that."
Kousei: "Take your time. Just be honest and make a choice that makes you happy."
Tsuki: "If you really want an answer... it's a no. I'm sorry. You're a great person, but we've talked only once in 2 years in person. You care for me so much, and I appreciate it, but it's not enough for me to fall in love with you."
I must admit, her previous message left me feeling a bit frustrated. The way she said that we haven't been talking as much, struck a chord with me.
I understand that her intentions were not to hurt me, but my nervousness got the best of me and caused me to misinterpret her words.
In the heat of the moment, I regretfully made a statement that I shouldn't have.
Kousei: "Talked only once? Well, it's because you always hang out with Daichi. I saw you two holding hands at Tanabata festival."
Tsuki: "Oh, that hurts, Kousei."
CRAP!! GOOD JOB ASSHOLE. YOU MADE HER SAD.
Kousei: "No- I didn't mean it like that. But it was heartbreaking for me to see you with Daichi. Even Yozora was shocked."
Tsuki: "It seems like you don't know anything about my life. Maybe you should ask Yozora to tell you more about me."
Kousei: "I'm sorry."
And with that, their conversation ended.
"Sorry", It is the final message exchanged between us during our school days
I felt the urge to scream, to cry, and even to give up. However, I chose to channel my feelings into action and grabbed my phone, texting my friend, Yozora.
Kousei: "Heyyyyy Yozoraa!! Tell me more about her! Tell ME MORE ABOUT HER!!"
Yozora: "Ehhh?? OKK!! Sure, but can you meet me at the train station? Let's talk in person. But be there as soon as possible. RUN KOUSEI RUN"
I quickly changed and ran to the train station, eager to learn more about the girl I loved.