Chapter 5: Honeymoon
It didn't take long before I must've fallen asleep. My dreams took me back to the alley where Dorian had saved me, only he didn't save me. He watched the men use me and then used me himself laughing cruelly as he left me on the dirty ground. When I woke I again was alone and in my own room, knocking on my door startled me as I heard my ladies talking outside the door.
"Princess? May we come in?" Sirona's sweet quiet voice asked through the door and I heard Nina tell her to just open the door.
"Y-yes." my voice croaked out as I stood up out of the bed. Between my legs was slightly sore as I moved around and I shuddered at the feeling. All four of the girls entered all of them dressed in simple cotton dresses, which I wasn't used to seeing. Usually they wore dresses that were more flattering to their shapes. Their hair even seemed less done than usual.
The dress they pulled out for me seemed simple as well. Though still slightly fancier than what the ladies wore.
"It will take the whole day and some of the night to get to the other castle. Want you to be comfortable."
Cara smiled as she helped me slip the dress on over my head as I slid my feet into some simple flats.
"Your cloak." Makenna wrapped the cloak that Dorian had given me around my shoulders pulling the hood up over my head.
"The royal carriage itself has been fixed for you. So that you may ride comfortably and the sun should not get into the windows." she said as we all started heading out down the long hallways to the exit. I wasn't sure how I would ever learn my way around this place alone. Even being here for a week it seemed to me everything looked the same besides the different portraits. Though I did notice any windows on the hall of where my room was were covered with multiple dark blue velvet curtains, the only sun coming through was on the floor just under the curtains.
"Now while at this castle your and the prince's job is to basically come back with the prince's heir. The King has sent one of his advisors to be sure you and the prince are working on making an heir nightly." Nina talked as if it was the most normal thing in the world, as though making an heir was just something on a daily checklist.
"So just more of being watched then." I sighed as Sirona took my hand squeezing it.
"You two are young I am sure it won't be long before you are with child." she whispered reassuringly.
The rest of the walk was quiet until we reached the carriage's outside. The king and queen were there talking to Dorian. The queen smiled when she saw me giving me a tight hug. There were three carriages, I could see a man sitting in the one in the front, I assumed he was the king's advisor. Dorian stood by the one that was in the middle which I recognized as the one we had come here in, the third I assumed was for the ladies. I was disappointed that I would not be traveling with them as I wanted to get to know them better. Looking around I frowned when I didn't see my family there to say goodbye.
"Aylin, it's time to go." Dorian said as he held his hand out for me to help me into the carriage. When my eyes met his I was shocked to see the dark circles under his blue bloodshot eyes. I imagined he looked much like I did at the moment.
"Do not come back until she has a child in her womb." The king ordered as Dorian went to climb into the carriage he froze his eyes meeting mine again a sad look in them.
"Yes, father." he mumbled, slamming the door shut behind him, the inside of the carriage dark almost as if it were night time. His body seemed to be shaking with anger as he sat in the seat across from me, his fist clenching and un-clenching as they rested on his legs. I heard the horses start to walk and then the carriage began to move at a steady pace. I could hear other horses trotting next to us which I assumed were guards. Dorian leaned forward reaching for something under my seat and I flinched sliding to the other side away from his hands, my breathing quickening, only to feel foolish when he pulled out a picnic basket. His face reflected how hurt he was by my action and I frowned feeling guilty.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to offend you."
"No, I understand." he whispered almost so softly I couldn't hear him as he set the basket on the seat next to me, opening it to reveal it was full of food to eat on the way. "Please eat, you didn't eat much yesterday you must be starving." he mumbled and leaned back into his seat pressing himself into the corner as though he were trying to sink into the wall.
The rest of the ride consisted of this. Him sitting almost so still you would think he was a statue, I made sure to eat, then dozed slightly as the carriage seemed to lull me in and out of sleep with its rocking. When night fell I was happy to open the curtains and watch as we passed trees and soon were in an unfamiliar village. Though it was dark I enjoyed watching the unfamiliar sites. The night was clear with a slight breeze blowing rustling the trees creating a calming atmosphere. When the castle came into view I was in awe of the beauty. Though it was smaller than the other one, this one was much more beautiful. The stone was a light tan almost white color. Ivy and flowers crawl up the sides of the walls almost covering all the stone on the front. There aren't nearly as many windows from what I could see which I certainly appreciated.
"This is home for a while." Dorian mumbled as we climbed out of the carriage. He helped me down by dropping my hand quickly as we waited for everyone to get out of the carriages. The man the king had sent looked to be about our age or at least not much older then us. He was short and stocky with mousy brown hair.
"Your nightly duties sir." he looked between Dorian and I.
I tried to focus when we walked through the palace where the halls were and which way led to the room I would be staying in. Though this palace was smaller it certainly was just as confusing. As Dorian opened the door to the room he stepped aside letting me in first. The size of the room was amazing, a canopy bed in the middle with of course white and silver silk sheets, my hands brushed over the canopy fabric as the advisor cleared his throat.
"It is getting late, I am sure we would all like to go to bed." he sounded impatient and yet hesitant as the prince groaned and kicked his boots off as well as pulling his shirt over his head. The advisor went and stood on the side of the bed closer to the wall as if to make it as though he were not there.
Again I found myself standing in front of Dorian, apologizing as he pulled my clothes off over my head. As he pulled the sheets down, laying me down and climbing on top of me, the man's voice interrupted again as Dorian tried to pull the sheets over us.
"Sorry, my lord, the king ordered no sheets, however you can pull the canopy closed."
A growl left Dorian's throat as he pulled the canopy shut on the side the man was standing, the sheer net like fabric only creating a see through barrier between us and the stranger. Unlike the night before Dorian seemed to be taking his time moving slower. I could feel the wetness in my shoulder and knew that like me he had tears coming from his eyes. When he finished he climbed off of me immediately covering me with the blanket as he pulled back the canopy towering over the man.
"Leave now." he growled out, causing the man to scurry out of the room.
I curled into a ball pulling the blanket closely around my naked body.
Three weeks seemed to pass almost in a blur. I spent most of my time sleeping or wandering around the palace with the ladies. The only time I saw Dorian was at breakfast, and dinner and then the nightly duties which we have had to perform every night since we arrived. Every night was the same, and when we finished Dorian would leave the room as though he were running from me. Sirona said by the end of the week if I did not start my monthly, she should be able to tell if I was with a child. Though I knew she wouldn't be able to tell if it was Dorian's. Living here I had never felt more alone. I prayed I was with the child and I didn't care who the father was. All I wanted was to put the nightly duties to an end, and also to stop drinking the nasty herbal tea Makenna made me which apparently increased our chances of falling pregnant.
As I sat in the room writing a letter to my family I jumped when the door slammed open and Dorian came stomping in stripping himself of his clothes before he turned and froze once he noticed I was there.
"I- Sorry, I didn't realize you were in here I'll go."
"No, stay, it's okay, we have to do our duties soon anyway." I whispered, turning away from him blushing at the sight of his bare chest.
"No, not tonight I am telling the advisor you are ill or I am ill, something." he sighed sitting on the bed pulling his boots off tossing them toward the small wardrobe in the corner of the room.
"Are you sure? Your father won't be happy when he finds out."
"My father doesn't see the pain I have caused you these past two weeks. I didnt save you from that alley to rape you myself." he snarled out his voice sound dark and hollow as he stood and opened the balcony door. The night air blew in through the room causing us both to take a deep breath. I watched his shoulders relax some as he sat back down on the bed letting the air calm him down. Turning around I started writing my letter again, we sat in silence for a long time until the tell tale knock came on the door telling us that the man was here.
"Stay here." Dorian mumbled as he opened the door slightly sliding out into the hallway sure to block anyone's view of me.
I could hear him say that I was unwell, then the man started to argue back that it was not an excuse for us to not perform tonight. Dorian started sounding angry as he yelled at the man. Quickly I stood up going to the vanity and smacking at my cheeks to appear flushed, before going and opening the door.
"Everything okay?" I whispered softly, making my voice sound small and hoarse.
"Yes, princess I was just telling the prince that we cannot afford to lose a day of duties, the king demanded it happen every night." the man said with a small bow.
"Well, of course if the king demanded." I whispered with a small nod of my head. As I turned to go back to the room I made a small gasp and fell forward causing Dorian to jump and catch me, his face looking concerned as I blinked up at him.
"Are you okay?" he mumbled a frown etched into his tired face.
"Yes, I just seemed to get a little dizzy for a moment."
I spoke loud enough for the man to hear us but still kept my voice soft and wavering slightly as though it was a lot of effort for me to speak.
"I see you are a very unwell princess, I will schedule a session with your physician tomorrow before we continue the duties. The king will not have to know." he mumbled before he scoured away quickly again writing on the paper he always seemed to have.
"Help me up then?" I asked Dorian my voice back to normal
Easily he lifted me to my feet moving us so that we could close the door. He backed away after that, his body stiff as he looked around the room.
"I'll let you sleep." he mumbled and went to open the door again only for me to stand between him and the door.
"It wouldn't look good if you left your sick wife alone." I whispered, his eyes were empty of emotion not like when we met. "You look tired."
"I haven't slept well since the wedding night."
"I know the feeling."
Dorian looked as though I had punched him in the gut. He turned going and sitting on the bed, his hands running roughly through his dark hair, his face sullen as he stared down at the ground.
"No better than those monsters in the alley." he mumbled
My heart hurt for him. Just by looking at him I could see how much it was hurting him inside to do what he was being forced to do to me. Walking closer I sat down in front of him between his knees. He sat up straight shocked that I would choose to sit so close to him.
"Nina told me I would've died that night. That you saved me."
"Just to live like this. I wanted to protect you from being used that way and here I am doing the same damn thing. I could handle the wedding night, they never usually enforce the heir situation especially when the king is still healthy, and that I am still a prince but my father he has it out for me." he said his words came out rushed his hand turning into fists.
"Dorian, he doesn't have it out for you, you just chose the wrong wife." I placed my shaky hands on his which were resting on his knees. "Your father knows they call me a witch, I sadly believe he knows about how the village men treated me as well, just has yet to find proof."
Relaxing his fists he turned his hands so that they too were holding mine as he kept his eyes down looking at our joined hands. The scar from the wedding ritual on our arms matching up as it reflected the moonlight coming in through the balcony door. I released his one hand and traced the scar on his arm and was surprised when I felt it tingle on my arm, I could feel where I was touching him.
"Strange isn't it." he mumbled as he watched me tracing the scar.
"I can feel it on my arm."
"Yes, my mother and father use it to communicate in some ways when they are apart." He pulled his arm away using his other hand to tap the mark once, I felt the tingle and gasped at how it felt like he had tapped me.
"One tap, checking in." he tapped twice "two taps I miss you." followed up by three quick taps "three is I love you." his voice grew quiet. He tapped three more times this time though he let his fingers linger between each tap "three slow taps is I want you. Unfortunately I made the mistake of asking my father that once when I was younger, when I had seen them doing it of course he had no problem telling me what they all meant."
I swallowed and nodded, almost missing the feeling of the tingle in my arm. I moved my hand and tapped once watching as his arm twitched with the feeling. Part of me enjoyed that we had this bond like I would never be alone again. One day I hoped I would be able to use the other ones he had showed me.
"Tell me more about you, weeks together and we still know hardly anything about each other." I looked into his eyes and he nodded then slid down onto the floor moving me easily so that we were leaning on the bed side by side. He took hold of one of my hands playing with my fingers.
"I was born here actually, when my mother found out she had conceived she wanted to stay here through the pregnancy, she prefers this castle over the other one."
"I agree, I enjoy that there are not so many people as well as the size of it."
"Then it is ours whenever we want it." He smiled at me.
Easily I smiled back as he went on to explain his childhood. Like me he spent most of his life alone, until his sister was born. Of course they studied and learned different things, he seemed sad he didn't get to spend as much time with her before she got sick. Riding horses and spending time with his collection as he called it was his favorite pastime. As a younger teen he was hard to find with the amount of times he would sneak off with his horse and not return for days on end. Of course when the last war started that stopped and he became a high ranking general in his fathers army, his father was finally proud of him and how easily killing had come to his son. Though that made his mother sad, she was sad a lot during his childhood because of how alone he was. She didn't want him to be like the king, she wanted him to keep the gentle side he had as a boy.
"I hope one day to see more of this collection you have." I yawned out causing him to chuckle
"One night I will have to take you whenever we go back, for now you should go to bed." he scooped me up bridal style causing me to wrap my arms around his neck at the sudden movement. Gently he laid me onto the bed pulling the blankets around me and gently kissing my forehead. "Sleep well." he went to stand and I wasn't sure what possessed me, but the look on his tired face made me reach out and grab his hand making him freeze.
"Sleep here tonight? This bed is far too big for just me." I felt my face heat up as I asked.
Dorian hesitated for a moment running his fingers through his hair before giving a small nod as I moved over making room for him. Even though we were not touching the warmth of his body next to mine slowly lulled me to sleep. Halfway through the night when I woke I was surprised to feel the weight of his arm around my waist. As I turned to him he tightened his grip and mumbled in his sleep as I smoothed the hair out of his face. I certainly can admit that he was very attractive. Though he seemed paler than he was when I met him. His dark hair contrasting against his skin.
I traced his straight nose and his full lips with my fingers. We haven't kissed since the wedding. I watched him sleep even as the sun started to rise before I had to get up to shut the dark curtains keeping the sun from the room. I dressed quietly, before sitting down and finishing the letter to my family. When I finished I sealed the envelope leaving the room to take the letter to where it needed to go to get delivered. I found the other girls eating when I entered the main hall of the palace.
"Good morning ladies." I smiled at them as I sat down and started filling my plate with the fruit on the table.
"You look well today, your highness." Makenna said with a smile as she sipped at her tea.
"Please it's just Aylin, if you are to be my ladies I would like us to be friends as well besides I don't do well with the pleasantries."
They all gave a small nod before they started talking again. Makenna and Sirona were talking about when and where they wanted to be wed.
"Aylin, you are scheduled for a checkup later, however we can do it after breakfast if you would like?" Sirona asked me, causing the others to look at me questionably.
"We fooled the man the king sent last night into thinking I was unwell, so he scheduled me to be looked at, it is nothing serious." I waved off their concerned looks.
"Are you sure that was wise?" Nina said, crossing her arms across her chest raising one of her perfect dark eyebrows.
"It was Dorian's choice, the duties have been taking a toll on the both of us." I whispered, looking away from her intense gaze. Cara reached over and placed a hand on my arm.
"We will do a full health screening then. Maybe you will be with a child." Sirona said reassuringly.
"Yes. The tea Makenna has been giving you apparently works miracles. I heard even older women use it to have a child when they have been told it is too late."
"Cara, you shouldn't believe everything you hear in the castle gossip." Makenna laughed rolling her eyes at the gossiping blonde.
As a new round of conversation started Sirona stood indicating for me to follow her leaving the other girls behind as they talked loudly. Nina and Makenna seemed to be ganging up on Cara, teasing her about her gossiping habits.
I always enjoyed walking with Sirona, she was the quiet one out of all the girls so I felt as though there was no need to have a conversation. We both enjoyed the silence whenever the other'r were not around. She led me to a part of the castle I wasn't very familiar with. Her office was peaceful. She pulled all the curtains shut as we walked in, but before it was bright, plants all around the office with one wall having a full shelf of books and a sitting area. There was a small exam bed.
"Now, strip to your under dress please and lay on the bed with it pulled up, this sheet can cover your lower half." she said as she turned, giving me the privacy I needed to remove my clothes. It was strange laying there with my belly exposed as I stared at the plants hanging from the ceiling about me.
"We will start with seeing if you are pregnant." she smiled at me as she sat on a stool next to the bed, her hands beginning to glow faint blue as she hovered them close to my lower abdomen. Her face was serious, her forehead creasing in concentration as she moved her glowing hands around her eyes closing. I didn't realize I was holding my breath until I felt lightheaded, I let out a breath of air trying to relax. Seemed like it was forever as my eyes flickered between her hands and her face for any indication of anything. Finally her eyes opened and she smiled and pulled her hands away from me, the glow going away.
"Congratulations." she smiled wider as my jaw dropped. "Looks like you are carrying the new heir of the kingdom." Gently she pulled my under dress down before helping me sit up as I tried to gather words.
"Now like I said before I can not tell whose baby it is, however only you Dorian and I know about that, so as far as we are concerned it is Dorian's baby and no one is to be told otherwise." she whispered as she walked over to a small teapot I just realized was whistling. She poured a small cup before grinding different herbs and handing it to me. "I will inform Makenna this is the tea you now need to drink. Keep the baby and you healthy."
The smell of the tea made my stomach churn and me frown as I looked at her with disbelief.
"This smells worse than the other tea she gave me."
Sirona let out a laugh that sounded like bells as she started writing down in her small notebook.
"It is best to drink quickly, it is even worse cold."
Downing the tea I gagged at the flavor but managed to keep it all down. The rest of the appointment was simple, checking my weight and height and all the other normal things you do at a doctors. She also measured my belly saying that at every appointment we will measure to be sure the baby is growing how he or she should.
"Would you like me to walk you to find Dorian?" she asked as I finished dresses and she walked to the office door.
"No, I can find him, thank you."
With a small nod and wave I turned and started walking down the hallways. I couldn't help the smile that was on my face thinking of the new life inside me. I hoped Dorian would be happy. My mind wandered thinking of a baby boy with Dorian eyes and hair. Then I frowned as I remembered it would be a little girl like me. Different and alone in the world. My hand fell to my abdomen as my walk slowed, and I stared at the floor. A shiver ran down my spine and I froze a gasp leaving my mouth as a clothed hand covered my mouth, a sharp pain going through my side before I was shoved into the wall, my head cracking against the stone. My ears began ringing as my vision went blurry.
"I will not let a seductress witch breed into the royal family." a gruff voice said before I fell to the ground. I felt the man's hands on my legs and my dress get shoved up about my waist. My undergarments are getting ripped from me.
"Please." I whispered, my voice sounding far away and foreign.
I reached the pain in my side, my hand was warm and sticky and I knew I was bleeding heavily. My hazy mind flashed to the night before Dorian tapped on his arm showing me the link between us. Shakily I grabbed my other arm tightly hoping he would understand and be able to find me. The man grabbed my arms then pinning them above my head as I felt him enter me. My body became weak, his breath smelled of ale, my vision blurred and started fading out as he bruised my wrist holding them above my head with one hand. The other used to touch me as he thrust inside of me roughly. I tried to move but felt as though I was detached from my body, my side hurting more, and my head throbbing as I felt warm blood slide down the back of my neck as well.
"Good riddance." The man said after he finished before he stood kicking me in my injured side before walking away leaving me to bleed out on the palace ground my lower half still exposed to anyone who would discover my body. A tear slipped from my eyes as the walls around me faded in and out of darkness. I tried moving but my body seemed to be paralyzed. I fought to stay awake, the thought of the little life inside me already fading.
I wasn't sure how long I fought the darkness, but soon I heard footsteps running and shouting. The footsteps sounded almost thundering through my ears as they became closer.
"Aylin!"
A sob escaped my throat as I heard Dorian's voice shout and soon his blurred face was in my sight as my eyes started to feel as though they were being pulled down.
"Get Sirona now!." he shouted at someone as he pulled down my dress, then pressed his hand into my bleeding side, "Hold on Aylin, please stay with me, keep your eyes open."
"Shit." he cursed suddenly before ripping the cloak he wore off, folding it and placing it under my head. His hands were soaked in red as I tried to open my mouth to talk. Next he removed his shirt, balling it up and pressing it into my side as well, though even I knew if Sirona wasn't quick the blood loss would get to me before she could heal me. My heavy eyes tried to meet him and to listen to what he was saying. His beautiful face was scrunched in pain as he spoke to me and also to whoever was with him.
"Aylin, please tell me who did this." his voice was muffled "Stay awake." he said again as my head lulled to the side my eyes drifting to the blood on the brick wall behind him.
A gasp left someone's mouth as more footsteps approached.
"Don't just stand there! Heal her!" Dorian barked, even making me flinch as I felt the warm hands on my side. I blinked, turning my head to the other side of me to see Sirona, tears in her eyes as she focused on healing my side.
"B-baby." I whispered out my voice sounding foreign and distant. One of her hands traveled wordlessly to hover over where my womb would be. I heard all the surprised gasps and mumbles of everyone around us and felt Dorian's warmth move closer to me, his hand holding my own.
"You are too weak , I can't tell." Sirona whispered, meeting my eyes "Let me heal you first, then I will try again."
As she moved to heal my head the voices around me finally faded completely as my eyes shut and I let the darkness overcome me.