[PAST]Nathan smiles at Dean's photo, where he was chewing noodles with pouty lips. A sudden selfie caught Dean off-guard."I love you, my angel." He whispered ever so dearly while caressing the picture."I love you too."Nathan's lips freeze, and his whole standing posture slumps. He doesn't dare push away from the locker, as he was leaning against it.Sweat forms on his forehead while his blood runs cold. Isn't that Dean's voice?"Am I rejected?" Dean asked while stuffing his books in his bag.Nathan swiftly turns around with a hitched breath. "No, no.""No? So, I'm not accepted?""Yes, I mean. No." Nathan stutters, looking around in sheer panic. How should he react now? He looks back at Dean, who raised his eyebrows."This is not the way I wanted to ask you out!" Nathan whined and turned around. He inhaled deeply and turned around to ask Dean properly this time.He saw Dean standing far away and peeking behind the locker. He peeked his head out and said, "Let's pretend that I didn't say anything and you didn't see me."Nathan's eyes soften with love. "You are so adorable. How can I pretend I didn't see you?" He saw the shyness adoring the full cheeks.He loves this boy so much.Dean chuckled and looked down, biting his lips. "I'm waiting..." He whispered and peeked through his eyelashes at Nathan, whose breath hitched at the boy.Nathan felt his cheeks heating up. He clears his throat and looks around, hoping this beautiful moment is just between them. The situation was in his favor too, as most of the students are out of the university or in clubs."Just wait for a minute." Nathan requested getting a hum and a nod from Dean.Nathan quickly takes a plain sheet and tears it into multiple long strips. He carefully rolls the paper to make a stem and folds the paper inch by inch while wrapping the single strip around the stem.Slowly, the long strip became a white rose.While keeping his bag aside, Nathan stood up from the floor and carefully walked towards the dean, who was patiently waiting for him."This may not be a real rose." Nathan forwards the paper craft towards the boy. "But my love for you is real."Both look at each other with shyness in their eyes. Dean holds his bag strap while biting his lips to stop himself from smiling too wide and to control his heart from fluttering too much."This white rose is as beautiful as your heart." Dean whispered, taking the rose with a shy smile. He locks his gaze on Nathan. "So pure and full of love."Nathan looks down while fidgeting with his fingers; his ears are turning redder with time.There is pure silence between them. Too shy to say those three magical words again. Softly, they tangled their fingers and pulled each other closer.Their lips couldn't utter. However, their eyes did.⋇⋆✦⋆⋇When two distinct but nearly identical people lock up. It gets difficult to untangle them unless one of them takes the initiative to do it themselves.Similarly, Dean wishes to stay away from Nathan. Knowing him and loving him will always be his memories. His fear of his past self is not allowing him to love the man again.How can he love someone when he is still trying to love and accept himself? He still has a long way to go before falling in love again.Nathan's question paused Dean's thoughts. He looks at the man with confusion.Noticing the confusion, Nathan further added. "I saw you two hugging. I saw you hugging him as your life depends on him.""Of course it does." Dean points at his heart. "This heart belongs to his wife." He used his full force and pushed Nathan away from him.The stumbled man looks at Dean with horror. "His wife's heart?"Dean looks away. "I don't want to explain it to you. Please keep our distances and be happy in our lives."Nathan's teary eyes snap at Dean. "Lives? Can you tell me how I should live without you? How to breathe in constant reminder that..." A tear rolled down his left eye. "You don't need me anymore."Dean glares back with moist eyes. "We both know who left whom behind. You weren't present when I needed you the most."Nathan flipped the coffee table. It crashed over the couch. "I didn't. Why will I leave behind the one I love? You are the reason I was living all this time." He looks at Dean, who back-faced him while wiping his tears.He quickly embraced the man in his arms. His lips were brushing Dean's neck as he apologized. "I'm sorry, my angel. I'm very sorry. But, please understand, I can't live without you."Dean didn't have the energy to struggle against his hold as he sobbed. "Please move on. Life doesn't end with just one person. You'll find better-""I don't fucking need anyone." Nathan's voice held finality. "I am in love with you. I madly just love you. I breathe for you. I don't need anybody but you."Dean's heart quickens as he breathes heavily. He knows he is getting stressed. His thoughts shouldn't trouble his heart. After all, he should take care of it more than himself.Nathan noticed Dean closing his eyes and taking deep breaths. He widens his eyes while pushing Dean's head onto his shoulder."Follow my breathing."He did an even breathing exercise while caressing the man's waist. He pressed his nose on Dean's crook of the neck to make the man understand his breathing pattern."My pretty angel. I'm sorry. I troubled you." Nathan whispered as he pressed a tender kiss on his wet cheek.He picks Dean up in his arms, and while the man didn't protest, all his aim was to calm his heart as he didn't bring his medicine. It's in his bag, kept inside the car, waiting in the parking lot.People don't know about his heart condition yet. He doesn't want Roman to know yet. Maybe later, he would confess himself and let the man decide whether to keep having a connection with him or not.Nathan carefully placed him on the chair and pushed the button for the chair to lean back. "Careful." He brought a stool and placed Dean's feet on it. He pulls his shoes off his feet and holds them in place before Dean can pull back."Let me repent for not being there for you." Nathan whispered while removing the socks too.Dean blinks his tears as he watches Nathan move forward as he whispers. "Let me hold you,"Dean didn't mutter anything and looked away as Nathan helped him to his coat and placed it on the table. "Open your shirt button and breathe calmly. Meanwhile, I'll call the doctor."Dean quickly shook his head as he held Nathan's wrist. Nathan nods and says, "Nobody will know; it's for you." Dean's grip loosened as Nathan moved away to personally call the doctor.Dean turns the chair to face the transparent glass as his blurry eyes look at the wide sky. He held his mouth to sob.He doesn't know why Nathan is hurting himself. Why can't the man understand? He can't love him again, at least not in the same way. He is unable to convince himself to forget the past and love the man again.He knows Nathan loves him. With these gestures, the care is still the same. The man stopped his persuading as soon as he realized Dean's health. He prioritizes Dean over his own emotions.How much more proof does Dean need to acknowledge his love?It's not easy to go down the same lane, which brings pain and hatred for himself. He can't forget the disappointment on his face. His mom's tears, his brother's troubles."Angel," his face is embraced in warm palms. Nathan's worried eyes flicker over his face. "My angel, you don't love me." His lips wobbled. "I understood. You don't worry about anything but your health."⋇⋆✦⋆⋇Mary walks in front of five people, with two of them looking around with curious eyes. Sabastian often gazes at Dean and narrows his eyes at the silent man. Freya is trying her best not to be caught by the CEO. She agreed with the thought that Roman would be present too."This is the studio." Mary smiled and opened the door to a vast studio. The place is lit in every corner. The walls are painted a cream color, and one side of the room has a long mirror pasted."We would like you all to remember this place, as we shall have a photoshoot here in January for our spring project." Mary explained while stepping inside the room.However, the four models look at Liam with shocked eyes. The man faked a cough while looking away. "Congrats?" He whispered and slung his arm over Sabastian's shoulder. "We have more projects now.""We weren't informed about it." Sabastian stated this while crossing his arms."I wasn't either." Liam replied with an apologetic smile. "The CEO felt you guys would be a wonderful choice for their project."Liam smiled at Dean, who didn't look cheerful, or at least smile. The usual sweet smile is missing too. It felt as though dark clouds were surrounding him. Dean, rather than looking around the studio, felt his shoes were much better.Liam closed his eyes. "Give me a minute." He excused himself and stood far from the team. He rings a number."Hello, Roman. Your man doesn't look okay."[Who is your man here? Wait, you mean Dean? What happened to him?]"I don't know, bro. He was fine awhile ago."[Bring him back.]"We are in the middle of knowing this company. So-"[Why did you call me? I am busy with the presentation for the annual report.]Liam narrowed his eyes. "I'm sorry, man. I don't know why I felt the need to inform you. My bad, please continue your work."Liam ended the call before Roman could respond. Sighing to himself, Liam watches Dean, smiling at Mary, who is explaining about the studio.He knows how to mask his emotions very well. However, eyes cannot lie.The rest of the evening went smoothly, which surprised Dean, knowing the CEO would not step back so easily. What bothered Dean is the way Nathan portrays their hug.Roman hugs him because he knows about his past. He provides support. Vice versa with himself too. Their hug doesn't hold any other meaning.Sometimes, when we search for one thing, we end up gaining something else. Surely, we don't want that thing at this moment.Similarly, Dean is content with his bonding with Ayan and Roman. He didn't wish to know how the world sees them! Now that this new information has come to light, He doesn't know how he will interact with the father-son duo.He doesn't want to be a reason for Roman to face any trouble because of him. The man is suffering enough without his wife. He is both the mother and father of a child.Dean widens his eyes with the realization that if he continues interacting with Roman, The people around will judge Roman as bi, pan, or demi.His breath hitched with the imagination of Roman looking at him with hateful eyes as he pulled Ayan from his arms. The scoff shows Roman's disappointment.In reality, Dean was waiting for their car along with others. They're standing in front of the company. People are texting on their phones. Sabastian was scratching his chin when an unknown number texted him, asking for his whereabouts.Dean felt his heart quicken, and he looked down, taking a deep breath, which was noticed by Nathan, who was watching him through the surveillance. He was quick to call the receptionist, requesting that she get water for Dean along with a chair.He stood up to run to Dean. He doesn't give a damn! Let the world say and think as they wish. They're none of his concern. But he halted when he saw Dean being calm.One, two, three, and inhale deeply. Dean followed the words previously said by the doctor. He controlled his breathing and felt his heart calm down."Hey," Sabastian said, holding his shoulder with concerned eyes.Dean instantly gave a smile and a nod. "I'm fine, just worried about the new project."Sabastian rolled his eyes. "Why are you worried? Take this new project as the current one. Simple as it sounds."Dean smiled. "You're right.""Alright, guys. Hop in the car." Liam instructs as soon as the Hyundai Palisade stops in front of them.Sabastian narrowed his eyes. "This isn't our car, right?"Liam smiled and shook his head. "This car is provided by the CEO for their models to travel in comfort." He scratches his head. "Our car didn't have this much space, so I couldn't decline their gift."Sabastian didn't like the idea. His arms will never touch Dean's again because they are sitting close to each other in the car."Smile guys. You should do well in the summer project." Liam exclaimed and opened the back door for the models.Dean looks at the tall building, well aware that Nathan must be watching him somehow. He looked down and sighed while sliding inside the car.Meanwhile, Nathan is talking with the doctor."You clearly said that he's completely fine. He was just stressed about something. He was thinking too much. You gave him an injection too."[Yes, sir. You're absolutely right. I wasn't lying. He was just stressed. Something must be bothering him. Request that he should not bottle it inside.]"Is there no pill to cure it?"[Not everything can be cured with just pills. I can write a new prescription too. But he needs to stop overthinking. It can be done only if he has some distraction.]"Distraction?"[Yes, sir. Anything or anyone makes him feel free and happy.]"Hmm, I got it. Thanks doc."[Mind you if the frequency of his stress increases. He may start getting panic attacks or worse, which is rare...]"What is it, doctor? Please be clear."[He did say he's taking the anti-rejection pills. That's good. But if his stress increases and he forgets to take his doses on time, I'm afraid his heart might reject his body soon.]Nathan stood up from his seat. His eyes are looking around in disbelief, and he locks with the painting."What will happen if his heart rejects?"[The patient will not survive. So, please make sure he's not stressing, taking medicines on time, and being happy.]__________________________________