"How are you?" Roman whispered, keeping lilies on the grave of his wife. He sits next to the grave, hugging his overcoat. The winter winds sent chills down his spine."Ayan is doing well. Don't worry about him." Roman explained, looking at the sky. His eyes focused on the trees around him."Did you like the flowers?" Roman looks at the tombstone. "I think these are in demand. I didn't get them from the usual shop. I had to search for them.""Anyway, I miss our time together. Back then, we decided to reminisce together. But it's just me longingly remembering them." Roman held a sad smile on his face."Why didn't you drive carefully? What was the hurry? Your friend was not going anywhere. You know, I get scared to drive a car now. Whenever I see a car, I can only presume how painfully you left us behind. I didn't get the courage to buy a new one."⋇⋆✦⋆⋇
[Past]
"Be careful," Roman instructs as he looks at his wife driving. She was scared to hold the steering wheel. But Roman encouraged her to give it a shot."Don't change gears hastily," Roman advised while noticing her hand shaking. He sighed, "Tilt the steering to the left side and press your foot on the brake." She did as she was told and smiled that she could do this without hassle.She turns to look at her husband, who hugs her. "Calm down. It's just driving." He whispered in her ear and pressed a tender kiss on her forehead. "You can join a driving school. The person will teach you much better than me."She shook her head, breaking the hug. "No, you teach me well. I am just worried—what if I mess up? People always say girls don't know how to drive."Roman's eyebrows twitched, looking at his wife. "Well, those people don't help us make a living, do they?" Amelia shook her head. "They don't give us support when we are down, do they?" She shook her head again. "Then, why let their thoughts affect us?" She looks down."Let them waste their brain cells. It's none of our business." Roman was getting angry. He doesn't like when anyone gets insecure because of society and their so-called opinions. Those people don't know anything and are ready to throw judgment and opinions at others. Mostly gossiping as well. Maybe those people don't like thinking so judgement is better option."Ok, calm down. I am sorry. I will try this time because of your support." She said it with determination and ignited the engine."Yeah, you should. Wait, what? You mean, I didn't support you all this time?" Roman asked, watching his wife laugh and turn the steering to drive in the open lane."Hey, your laugh can't conceal my feelings. I'm upset."⋇⋆✦⋆⋇Roman chuckled, remembering the time. "You sure did learn fast and earn your driving license.""I was surprised when you were grinning with DL. I know, unlike you, smart lady, it took me a while to get one." He chuckled, cradling himself, seeking warmth—a familiar one from his wife. He misses the way she would always hug him."You know, mom is singing the hymn again. Why can't she understand that I can't see someone else, as I did for you? I cannot think of anyone living with us who is not you. Nowadays, she uses Ayan's name too." He sighed sadly, his eyes focusing on the smile of his beloved wife."Do you think I'm not taking good care of our son?" His fingers caressed the image on the tomb. "Am I not giving him proper knowledge of life? Am I not teaching him morals? I hope, I am not disappointing you." His whisper was witnessed by the wind, which brushed his hair.⋇⋆✦⋆⋇"Doc, I'm sorry for troubling you." Dean quickly apologized while sitting in front of the lady, who claims to be a good friend of his donor."Oh my, did you get an appointment again?" Dr.Jenifer asked, gesturing for him to take a seat."Damn, man. You have too much money?" She spoke while scribbling something on a sticky note. "This is my number; call me instead of booking appointments." She chuckled as she handed the paper to Dean, who looked down, embarrassed."Alright, what do you want to know?" She asked, placing her arms on the table with a smile."If I'm not crossing any lines, I'd like to know how ma'am Amelia died."Dean's voice turned softer at the end of his sentence.Jenifer's lingering smile fades away. She blinks a few times and sighs deeply. "She met a horrible accident." Dean looks at her and nods his head."Can you elaborate?""Sure," she says as she sips water."She was going to meet Freya. Actually, we three had long planned to meet. We were college friends. After graduation, having different goals in life We parted ways. Although, Amelia and I were in touch because I got transferred to this hospital and Freya went to Canada to continue her modeling career,""What was ma'am's career?""She was a social worker.""I see, how was her life? Like her personality?""She had a very cheerful personality. She could find positivity in every situation. She loved animals and helped others. She just loves being there for others as a support and a shoulder to cry on." Jenifer smiles, remembering her friend's smile. "She was a beautiful soul." With a sad smile, the doctor continued."Sometimes, I miss her and her calls as she would scold me, among many other things.""Now, I think I don't have anyone except my parents to worry about me. She would often do the same thing as you—book an appointment and spend time here in my cabin. Your action reminded me of her." She chuckled and looked at Dean, who was quietly listening to her and whose head was dipped in sorrow."Ho-how is her family coping with the loss?"Jenifer pressed her lips together. "Her parents are alright now. I met them a week ago. They absorbed the truth and understood to move on, as this is a life where nothing is constant."She sighed, "Although her husband is not over this. His guilt over not being there for his wife is slowly eating away at his soul, and he is not realizing it. I tried many times to make him understand. However, he is unwilling to listen to any of them. It's like he has trapped himself in a container of guilt, where each day a drop of poison-named thoughts is added.""I've seen many men cry and then get over it. They move on and accept it. But this guy is probably thinking that if he moves on, his wife will be alone. I have no clue; he is not ready to open up either." She continued, heaving a sigh."How did you get to know about her death?""She was brought here. Her body was on the stretcher; she was sent to OT. I couldn't believe my eyes. At that moment, you were my patient, and I was returning after your regular check-up."She closed her eyes to stop herself from tearing up. "Later, she couldn't survive and left the world. We had previously applied for eye and heart donors. I remembered you and her heart. At that moment, I did what a doctor should do. It took a lot of effort on my part not to cry in the OT while removing her heart."She forced herself to smile. "Never in my life have I had this thought: I won't be able to meet Ro—""Doctor," They heard a knock, and Jenifer quickly blinks her eyes and calms herself."Come in." She said this as she noticed a nurse walking in with files in her arms. Dean understood that the doctor was busy. So he got up."Alright, doctor. I will talk with you later." Dean smiled and walked out of the cabin.A sudden numbness filled his chest. It feels heavy for him to carry himself now. He got to know new things about his donor. He should feel happy; rather, sadness is enveloping him. He closed his eyes and leaned on the hospital wall. His heart is beating rapidly; he inhales deeply and exhales, continuing the process.⋇⋆✦⋆⋇Lilies enclosed in his palm, Dean walked towards the grave. Last time, he was happy to visit, this moment the emotion is quite different. He halts his steps noticing lilies already present on her grave. He smiles sadly, kneeling in front of the grave."Maam, these might be from your husband right?" He whispered, keeping his flowers on the left end of the grave, a little far from the flowers already present."I got to know many things about you from dr. Jenifer," Dean smiles, looking at the smiling face. "I was right that you were a kind and good soul." He looks down."I am working on myself to be better. In my aimless life, I got meaning now." He sits next to the tomb while gazing at the evening sky."Doc told me how you left this world and how I got..." Dean placed a hand on his chest, feeling the scar of the aftermath.⋇⋆✦⋆⋇[Past]
Knowing Dean's health condition. He was kept under observation and medication, wrapped in medicines, and often had drips attached to his hand, which used to change from left to right. He forgot the last time; he wore colorful clothes. He forgot his face too. He felt too disgusted with himself after reflecting on his actions and behavior. He couldn't face his reflection.Whispering sorry to his family was never enough for him. Often, noticing the tired eyes of his brother, who made sure to visit him whenever possible, he felt like throwing him into the deep roar of the ocean. His eyes focused on his mother's teary ones; no matter what, she would always love and forgive him. But his father didn't hesitate to show him his rage and temper. With his tears, he often found it difficult to swallow food. The lump of shame didn't allow himOften, he would stare at the clock and think how close he was to his death. Any moment, he will leave his sadness behind, and his family might be happy without him. He sighed while rubbing his eyes. He just sleeps the whole day with his mother visiting with meals, his dad paying bills, and his brother working in different companies.His fingers are tired of wiping regret from his eyes. This time, he didn't get the power to lift his arm either, letting his tears glide freely. He curls himself, watching the afternoon through the open window. He hugged himself, his eyes refraining from closing, even though they were heavy.He felt suffocation filling his lungs. Fisting his shirt, he coughs roughly. The beeping of the machine increased with each second. The BP machine rips from his index as he coughs more roughly, falling on the other side. He felt difficulty in breathing and his body got cold.His mother, who was waiting outside, thought to check on him again. She peeks inside to look at her son. She saw him withering in bed."Do-doc, doctor!" She shouted while running inside the room and pressing a button to call nurses. She kept pressing on the switch, and tears brimmed her eyes.Jennifer walks in and quickly gestures to the nurse to get the injection to loosen the valves of the heart. She opened Dean's shirt and made him sit up. "Inhale and exhale. Do it slowly," she says, and the nurse quickly brings the injection Jennifer had asked."Everything will be fine now," Jennifer said to Mrs. Rayden, who was silently crying. Her eyes focused only on her son.Dean felt his body turn light as he closed his eyes. The nurse helped him to lie down again, and he fell asleep."Wh-what happened to him?" Mrs. Rayden asked, sitting next to her son."He had a heart attack. It was a mild one," the doctor said, writing a new prescription for him. Mother exclaimed, unable to hold back her tears."Everything is fine now." The doctor tried to calm her."Doctor, a patient is in pain." A nurse informs the doctor as she nods and looks at Dean one last time before walking out."My shift has already ended. But, this one will be last one, alright? I need to go." Jennifer said to the nurse, who nodded her head. The doctor has promised her friends to meet up.As she was passing through the hallways, she saw a woman on a stretcher with blood around her body. She froze on her spot, noticing a familiar bracelet on her wrist. The doctor looks at her own wrist, which had a similar bracelet. She felt the ground slip under her feet as she watched her friend go into the operating room.⋇⋆✦⋆⋇"Everything will deliberately go as I wished." A lady whispered, looking at the picture of Amelia.She lit a lighter and brought closer to the picture. "I need to be patient." She said, watching the picture turning to ashes. Her eyes, fixed on the smiling face of the picture."I will get everything, and everyone." She smirked, throwing the image on the floor, watching the image burning with passionate eyes. The smirk lingers on the red lips.———————————————