I clutch my paper tightly as my nails dig into the paper, wrinkling it.
Tears threaten to fall out of my black eyes–emotion swirls in it spilling as it creates an eye bag. The paper was written with beautiful handwriting. The smell of ink was still in it, the paper was also nicely decorated with a stamp and signature with a familiar name written.
'We have phones, why do you need to write it on paper..?' That thought came into my mind.
I hate it when a mailman drops a letter in my mailbox because I know who sent it, who wrote it, and who it is.
Yet–despite how beautiful the paper is, the letters are suddenly forming into words.
"Dear Yuuko Ito,
Have you been eating well? Because I know you'll need the energy for class. Talking about class, are you still wishing to be a musician? You know how your father and I've been telling you, a musician will not get you anywhere in our family. Almost no one in our generation is a musician. You know what happened to Aunt Itoshi. She became a musician and got kicked out of the family. You do understand that I'll send you to a prestigious college where you'll learn about trading, profiting money, and being a use to our family. Not to be a failure. You ran away with our money and put a restraining order against us for what? 'Abuse'? Dear, you know that was not abuse. That was to discipline you. We only hit you in the face a few times, and a little on the wrist to stop you from playing that cursed guitar. You're lucky that we sent you money every month. Have a wonderful day, Yuuko.
Love, Haruki Ito"
I crumpled the paper and threw it away in the trash.
"She needs to stop this, I don't want her to send me long letters and texts... That's why I made a restraining order." I spoke to myself,
the way she brings up Auntie easily without shedding any emotion is unforgivable. Yet, she dared to bring her up, knowing what she did to me and her.
"Damn it!" I slammed my hand on the table. The wooden table shook from the force, and the flowers in the middle almost fell.
"Why did you bring her up..?" The tears that were once gone, began to shower slowly.
It ran on my cheeks as it fell to the wooden table.
I sat down silently as the sobs began to take over me, the familiar memories that I try to cover and forget, now bloom again at the moment of sadness.
The faint smell of lilies made me remember the way she took care of me, putting a bandage on my finger when it had a bruise after a guitar practice with her.
The soft smile plastered on her face as she plays the chords over and over again.
The smile that never goes away, the smile she has when she plays my favorite tune, the smile she has when I first played the guitar.
The smile was gone when she found me hopelessly laying on the ground. Filled with blood and tears after digging into a hole to find a broken wooden guitar. Turns out, it was her guitar.
***
"Okay, that's all for today! And Ito, I'm sorry but you're gonna do the project by yourself." The professor said before exiting the room.
The room began to raise with murmur and whisper. I pack up my things and left immediately.
'It's a group project–yet, I was left alone, again..' I clutched my backpack tightly as I left the building.
'Let's see, I can do the project after I get home. Then, I'll have a little bit of free time. Then work again, ugh..'
'..What should I practice? I already perfected the guitar tunes, I can do the drums but the neighbors said they're gonna have a family gathering... I shouldn't practice anything but, maybe I can practice the flute? I guess I can..' I look at the lights as I walk by. While feeling the breeze of air, it blew my hair away from my face.
Even if its 4 pm, the sun was still rising. But, the air feels cold.
I pass a bar, it was crowded with people as a song played.
I tried to identify the instrument, a guitar, drum, and bass were playing while a girl sang to the tunes.
Yet, with just a second I can tell the tuning pegs adjustment was wrong.
it was to lose and make the guitar playing sound deep and too–echo-y? bouncy?
yet no one seem to notice as I heard cheers when they do a guitar solo.
I grumble as negative thoughts came rushing like my jealousy; 'they can't even adjust their guitar right', 'I can play better!' , 'They should've hired me instead!'
I was already started walking and was ahead of the bar but I can still hear that annoying guitar. my face turn bitter as it kept continued and continued.
"curse my damn hearing!" I whisper harshly.
I bump into someone making me jump out of my thoughts.
"I am so sorry!" I apologize quickly.
the man turns around with a smile "It's fine! people make mistakes! goodbye!"
the man began to walk, but I feel uneasy and unconsciously stare at him.
when I finally realized I was staring at him–I shake my head and turn my heels to continue walking to my home.
my black eyes stared at my foot as I walk, I followed the rhythm and imagen a song with it.
I saw a familiar flickering light and look up, and there was a house-colored cream with some potted plants decorating the front.
I walk to the entrance and search for my keys still imagen the tune in my head.
as I turn and open the door, I hum the tune.
the smell of lilies flows in the air from a candle on the counter
I kick my shoes off and remove my jacket leaving a white t-shirt, and long pants with some dirty socks.
I take a deep breath before looking at my small house.
there is a living room on the right, with a bookshelf and a tv. a guitar standing on display in the corner, and a couch with a matching wooden table. lay on the couch was a saxophone that this morning I clean out of frustration
on the left was a kitchen, filled with a counter–microwave, sink, and some dishes– fridgeratior and a rug to match up the nice setting.
I put my backpack on the couch and walk straight to the small hallway.
there were two doors left for the bathroom and right for my room.
I enter my room–the smell of old paper hit my nose.
bass was on my messy table the display was beside the drum in the corner. a table filled with paper and a fleet was there.
I walk to my table and grab the flute, after that, I walk to my bed kneeling as a grab holding pulling a drawer out under the bed.
I search for a black hoodie. I grab and release clothes messing it up.
finally, I found the hoodie, I immediately dug into the pockets and found a paper with a chord.
to be pacific–fluet chords if that's what you called it.
I walk out and went to the living room.
sitting down as I put my hoodie on, I pull my laptop out of my backpack
"ok.... let's start..."
***
"I CANT BELIEVE YOU DID THAT TO A CUSTOMER!" My boss yelled, he threw a towel at me.
I stand there head down wearing my work uniform. A coworker in the back snickered as I got yelled at.
"Tell me, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING WHEN YOU PUT A DAMN NAIL IN THE DRINK?!"
"But boss I di–"
Slap!
"Don't you dare talk back to me with that DAMN EXCUSE!" Red bloomed in my cheeks as he continue to yell at my face.
'Stupid old man' I want to scream, but I force my mouth to keep into a thin line with my head down to face the ground.
There, laid a drink that a certain coworker of mine made.
And the certain coworker is in the background snickering as she told her friend that she did it and blame it to me
"ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME? IM TIRED OF YOU JUST–JUST!" There was a pause in his sentence. His eyes boiling with anger, veins popping in his forehead.
He then opens his mouth one more with two words gushing through my ear as my anger shattered into disbelief; "you're fired"
My mouth dropped, and the coworker stopped snickering as her face just realized what she had done to me. The pity lays on everyone's face in the kitchen, while me? I stood there like an idiot. My eyes widen and close, my hand opening and closing as if trying to reach something.
"s-sir your joking right?" I manage to stutter out in shock, he shakes his head smoke still squishing out of his ear.
"s-sir, please! It's not me i-i–" but instead of a resurrected sigh coming from his mouth–he pushes me through the back door and slams it close in my face.
The wind flew through my face as he close the door loudly. The dust pears into my eye as it started to itch
'How...will I pay for my music classes?' tears flew through the corner of my eye.
"There's...dust in my eye..." I said, but I know the second tear that came was not because of the dust. The third–fourth–and fifth.
And finally, it broke into a sob.
"Hey, you fine?" I whip my head around. Frantically searching for the voice owner and standing there I found a man.
Said man was wearing a dark blue coat, covering a cream color button-up shirt with a brown turtle neck, and black ribbons tied up in his neck connecting through the button-up shirt.
He has black long pants with dark brown shoes.
His brown hair was short–it looks fluffy and straight at the same time. The bangs look poorly cut as one is longer than the other.
His brown eyes look sharp and mystical yet despite his beauty, the dirty background alley ruins the picture.
I quickly rub my eye after observing the man.
My white sweater sleeve immediately was wet with tears and snot.
"Um....who are you?" I say, trying to sound soft and un-crying.
"I just heard you crying, are you ok ma'am?"
'Ma'am? Is he talking to someone else?' I look around and saw that no one is in the alley except me and him.
'Of course, no lady will be in this dirty alley anyway'
"...did he think I was a girl?" I think out loud.
I quickly put my palm in my mouth looking at him, his face change into a gapping idiot after he heard what I just said.
"Um...your...a...guy?" The man says, his face looking embarrassed.
I just nod looking at him–I realize there was a scar on his cheeks.
It was distracting, the scar trails through his right eye covering his white skin.
"Um...anyway–are you okay....man?"
"Yeah..... I'm okay....uh thanks...stranger...." I answer awkwardly.
I was still wearing my uniform and hat. I probably look stupid right now
"Did you get fired?" The man quickly says. I flinch back as he was near me–closer than before.
"Um...yeah..." I fidget my finger and step back a little looking at the side.
"Well there is this bar that needs someone to play the trumpet or saxophone, can you play any of those?"
My eyes probably sparkle as he chuckles at my reaction.
'I still remember the saxophone class when I was 13!' I excitedly remember the class that I have with a friend of mine.
"I-i can play the saxophone!" I half-shouted "J-just give me–"
"Three days to polish it?" The man finishes my sentence. I shut my mouth with a nod.
'Did he read my mind...?'
"You must be thinking I read your mind!" I squeak as he shouts almost proudly.
"I have a thing for reading expression ya know?" The man continued with a happy grin.
"Oh...haha...so um...where is the bar?"
"Oh haha! It's right in the corner follow me!" The man flashes a big grin and spins his heels.
I fastly drop my uniform and quickly catch up with him.
I huffed a little, in the back of the stranger following his trail.
I look at the man in front of me. He was taller and look stronger than me, I look pathetic beside him.
'I look scrawny and tiny...and my finger is full of scars too....not forgetting my long hair...no wonder he think I was a girl....' I thought while looking at my hand.
It was boney and veins are visible, couple of scars are on the fingers and the most noticeable is on the middle finger that went on the tip and slash down to the palm.
I inhale sharply as I remember.
"Uff!" The man suddenly stops making me bump into his back. I cut my thought as I look to the side.
"Here we are!" The man cheerfully says and turns around to face me.
"Oh um..." I started, quickly regretting.
"Come on! Step inside! My friend is waiting for you!" The man sways my shoulder pushing me inside.
'His friend is waiting...for me?' I sweep away my confusion and follow his motion stepping inside the bar
as I enter familiar washes over me– I saw a person practicing with the guitar I just heard.
my face go bitter, hatred pulled me.
"Anyway here is the bar owner!" the man then walks to a counter with a beautiful woman standing behind assuming the owner.
"h-hello..." I greet.
"anyway this pretty lady's name is–"
SLAM!
a door slams open revealing a man, with dark blue eyes and hair almost the same as mine just poorly cut. his skin is....greenish blue?
my face started to morph in horror as I saw smoke coming out of his neck–WHICH DOESN'T EXIST?!?
his head bop and floats as a cigarette in his mouth.
"w-w-w-what?!" I stutter, hard.
the man that looks dead is moving.
his head isn't attached.
smoke coming out of his neck.
'ohmygodwhatdidigetmyselfinto–'