CHAPTER 1- Goblin Women?!
Y-yes, I knew this world was going to be dangerous, I knew it from the moment my feet touched the ground of this world, when I appeared in front of an Orc!
B-but this... T-this ... This completely exceeds my terrifying expectations!!
"Sacrifice of the virgin, sacrifice of the virgin!!"- Shouted the dozens of goblins with breasts around me.
The goblins with breasts captured me when I was trying to do my private necessities hidden in a cave! Why did I go into a cave?! Because I'm an idiot, just because of that, there's no other reason!
By the way, the goblins of this world are females, and their breasts are gigantic! They are small, but their breasts are gigantic! That doesn't make any sense! How can they run so fast carrying those things?!
I-I like big breasts, I won't deny it, but these goblins are horrible! They're bald, their eyes are big and completely red, their noses are big and ugly, and they smell awful! The only attraction they have is their breasts...! Ahhhhhhhh!!! Why did I start thinking nonsense?! They want to sacrifice me for being a virgin!
"Nooooooo!! I am not a virgin, I swear by my holy mother!"
"Stop lying, human! You smell like a virgin!"
"I-it's a perfume!"
"Liar, and bad son! Now, as punishment, we will not let you rest!"
"W-well, I swore by my mother because I don't care about her, and I don't know if she's still alive either... Huh? W-what do you mean, rest?"
The goblins who were carrying me left me in front of their Queen, a goblin of more than two meters, with much more gigantic and fallen breasts! And she smells worse than the other goblins!
"P-please, if I am to be killed, can I say goodbye to my dog first? He is in the forest. Could someone bring him in?"
Fufu. Fall into my trap. When Kevs finds out I'm here, my dog, the hero, will defeat you and save me...! Ah... I sounded like a princess waiting for her hero... Ahhhhhhhh!!! I'm so pathetic!
"We won't kill you."- Said the Queen.
—... "No? But everyone was shouting "virgin sacrifice"...! By the way, virginity doesn't exist, that shouldn't matter! Virginity does not define our worth as a pers...!"
"Shut up."
I immediately covered my mouth and quickly nodded.
I'm pathetic! Kevs, where are you?!
"We will not kill you. We need a man's virginity to reproduce. When you get us all pregnant, you can leave."
"Ufffff. Thank you. You are more civilized than I thought. Sorry, I'm just new to..."
Wait… D-did I hear that right?
—... "What? Will I be able to leave when I get them all pregnant?"
"Yes. Shall we start?"
"So, what you're telling me is that all the goblins in this place are going to rape me?"
"If you refuse, yes."
"Oh, I see, I see."
They want to rape me, all these ugly goblins... Ah...
"Ahhhhhhhh!!! I don't want to, I don't want to!! Kevs, Kevs, help me, they want to steal my purity...!!! Hmmmmh!"
T-the Goblin Queen covered my mouth with her hand, and her hand smells like shit! Yuck! Didn't she wash her hands when she went to the bathroom?!
"Fufu. Let's get started."
Nooooooo!
•
•
(A few minutes earlier.)
We look for a shady place to sit and analyze our special skills.
Mine are crap compared to Kevs', so we'll take a lot of time analyzing Kevs', and about 10 to 20 minutes analyzing mine. After all, my skills are useless for fighting.
Ah... I lost everything, absolutely everything, but I won't be sad.
My saving efforts were not in vain. Yes, my money stayed in my home, in my original world, and possibly some corrupt politician or policeman will keep it when they enter my house, but if I had not made the effort to save, the Goddess would not have given me the opportunity to start a new life in this world, together with Kevs.
My efforts will not be in vain. Kevs is powerful, so, if we sell high-ranking monsters, we'll get a lot of money in a short time and I'll be able to open my taqueria in this world. I will not allow my efforts to have been in vain!
This world scares me, but if I have Kevs by my side, I have nothing to worry about, after all, Kevs is the hero! No one defeats the hero...! Well, maybe the Demon King, b-but that's an issue for the future, I won't worry about that for now.
"Okay... Ah... And how do I activate the skills?"
"I think 'I want to use,' followed by the name of the skill, master. It's pretty simple, don't worry."
... I still can't get used to hearing my dog talk, but it's still so cool! I never imagined I'd be talking to my dog this way! Thank you, Goddess, I will pray to you once a year...! Ouch!
Did an apple fall on my head?
Y-yes, I got the hint... I will pray to you once a month...! Ahhhhhhhh! Yuck! I got bird poop on my shoulder!
"W-well... Once a week?"
... Oh, nothing happened. Once a week, huh? Very simple.
"Who are you talking to, master?"
"I speak indirectly to the Goddess, but we'd better move on to the tests."
Okay, just think about it.
I took a breath and extended my hand.
Come on... I want to use a skill...Activate: [Magic Storage]!
... Ah... Wow... A giant zipper appeared out of nowhere in front of us... A zipper with a closure...
Well, I admit that being able to use skills like this surprises me, but I'm pretty disappointed right now. Why a zipper?! I thought it would open up a black hole or a crack in space-time, or things like that! But no, a zipper appeared in front of me... Ah... Well, at least I can use it.
"Great, master! And according to my skill [Wise], your [Magic Storage] has a capacity of 10,000 non-living items."
"10,000?! Great, it's more than enough to save all the ingredients and materials for our future taqueria! Let´s look at how it works."
I unzipped the zipper... Well... Its interior looks black.
Mmm... Let's see...
I bent down and took a rock. Perfect.
"I want to save this."
... It does not save automatically.
I threw it into the hole... Already?
"Umm... Ah... Hey, skill, do you have some kind of inventory...? Oh wow."
When I said that, a magic screen appeared in front of me, and it has the word "rock x1" written on it.
"Yes, it has inventory. Kevs, can you see the screen in front of me?"
"No, master, only you can see it."
"I see."
Will it be possible to take out objects automatically?
Let's see.
I touched the word and two options appeared: "Take out and combine", although combine is shaded, as if it were not possible to choose that option. I guess it's because I only have one rock and I can't combine it with anything else.
I touched the option to take out... Ahhhhhhhh!
"It hurt me!"
"Master, are you all right?!"
The rock came hurtling out of the [Magic Storage] and hit me in the forehead! Goddess, did you do that?! I thought we had a deal!
Ah, I'd better not think about that for now, I don't want to make her madder.
"D-don't worry, Kevs."
"You are bleeding! Don't worry, Master! Healing!"
Healing...? Huh? I'm feeling ever so much better! The pain is gone!
I stroked my forehead... Is the blood gone too? How convenient!
"A-another of your unique skills?"
"Yes, Master! It is an extra skill of the [Saint] skill."
"Wow, wow. [Wise], [Hero] and [Saint]."
Three incredibly powerful unique skills... I feel jealous... Very jealous...
Kevs, give me some of your luck! I need it!
"Cough, cough. W-well, now let's look at the most important skill. But first, we deactivate this skill... Deactivate?"
The zipper closed and disappeared, along with the magic screen.
"Activate: [Ingredient creation]!"
A magical screen appeared in front of me. Oh, this one looks fancier.
It has three options to choose from on the screen: recipes, ingredients and materials.
Recipes, ingredients and cooking materials, huh? Let's try the recipes.
I tapped on the recipe option and a long list of recipe names appeared.
Mmm... "Tacos al vapor"? A few words in Spanish... Steamed Tacos? Never heard of it. Will they be delicious?
I tapped the recipe to get it, but a message popped up on the screen, saying: "Insufficient money."
Money...? T-that's right, next to each recipe there is a number. Do I have to pay with real money? It is not fair!
W-well, don't worry, Dann, remember that you can get a lot of money thanks to Kevs, don't worry.
Yes, it´s true. I will not worry about money for the time being. How much does the recipe cost...? $330,000?!! What?!! For a simple recipe?!
N-no, no, no, no, no. Nooooooo! It's supposed to be for creating ingredients, not charging me to use it!
"It charges me money to use the skill, Kevs! It is not fair! Let's go to a church and complain to the Goddess!"
"Sorry, master, but according to my skill [Wise], it will charge you money to motivate you to travel."
"Motivate me?"
"My skill tells me that your skill serves you to collect the recipes you get personally and help you, giving you tips for cooking it."
—... "Collect recipes?"
"My skill also tells me that you can give it the meat of the monsters you get, master. In other words, that skill requires you to go out and explore if you want to get things for free."
"Ah... I see, I see... Ahhhhhhhh!!! I already regret having chosen it! I would have chosen another one!"
"Master, I think you chose well. Recipes and ingredients are easy to come by, but cooking materials are not. I think that option is quite convenient."
"Yes, you are right. We still don't know if this world is advanced or still in the Victorian era. You're right, it does have a certain advantage."
So, if I want my skill to work, I have to travel the world looking for recipes and ingredients, huh?
Ah... I hope I have enough time to live... Time to live... Ahhhhhhhh!!! It's true, Kevs is already old!
"Uwaaaah! Kevs, Kevs, use your skill and find some way to live longer! You may have magic, but you're still a dog! I don't want you to die!"
"Master... Thank you for caring about me, Master!"
Kevs jumped at me and threw me to the ground again. I-I still don't get used to his new strength.
"Don't worry, master, I've already asked my skill about that! It told me that in an S rank dungeon, there is an elixir that gives 100 years of life more to the one who drinks it. If we share it, we will live 50 more years each!"
"Perfect! But first we have to train. Where is it located?"
"In the demonic territory, 9 months of travel."
—... "Ah... Y-yes there are demons in this world?"
"That tells me my skill, master."
"I-I see ... We must definitely...! Well, you must become more powerful. I'll be a hindrance to you in fights, so I don't think I need to train."
"Don't worry, master, trust me, I will protect you with my life!"
"I'm in your care, Kevs!"
Our main goal will be to get that elixir.
I-I just hope the demons don't find out about our existence... Existence... Hahahahahaha! Who would suspect that a dog is the hero?! Besides, I'm as weak as a normal human, they won't be interested in me. If we don't get attention, we'll be saved...! Oh, I have to pee. And to make the number 2. So many intense emotions rocked my intestines.
Commonly I wouldn't be ashamed to do my necessities in front of Kevs, but as he now became smarter and is able to understand me, I am ashamed to do my necessities with him nearby.
"Kevs, I'm going to the bathroom, stay here, I'll be back in 5 minutes."
"Of course, master! Would you like me to bring you the Orc's body to test your skill at getting meat?"
"Yeah, thanks, I'd appreciate it."
Does it taste like pork? I guess I will have to taste it to confirm it.
After looking for somewhere where I can do my necessities, I found a cave.
I'm scared to go in, but the chances of anyone seeing me doing the two diminish. I don't want to risk anyone seeing me, it would ruin my first encounter with humans in this world.
... Wait… And what am I going to wipe my ass with?!
Ah, I'll have to sacrifice a sock. I'm already regretting not choosing [Clothing Creation].
I went into the cave.
Something dark, but cute. I even want to build a temporary house... Huh?
Balls? It's weird.
I walked over to those balls on the wall. There are four huge green balls. Is it some kind of mushroom?
I almost touched one of the balls, but I remembered the most important rule when you come across something you don't know what it is: "If you don't know what it is, don't touch it!"
But I will touch it with a branch.
I bent down to pick up a branch that was on the ground, and with that branch I touched one of those balls.
Wow, wow. It feels hard and soft at the same time. It's weird.
"Touch me more, Daddy!"
... What? A girl's voice?!
T-the balls are moving? They jumped at me! Balls alive?!
I fell to the ground and my face was covered by those balls. How disgusting, they smell horrible!
W-what? Is someone tying my feet?!
"W-what?! Who's there?!"
The balls were taken off my face, r-revealing something far, far worse.
"Hi, Daddy! You're not bad at all."
"You will be an excellent sacrifice."
... Goblins?!! And what do they mean by sacrifice?!
"Yay, we found a virgin!"
"V-virgin? I'm not a virgin!"
How did they know I'm a virgin?! Is it so obvious?!
"Sacrifice of the virgin!"
They began to carry me when they finished tying me up with ropes.
Ahhhhhhhh!!! They're going to sacrifice me!
"Kevs, help me!!"
•
•
"Nooooooo!"
"Don't resist, virgin!"
"My name is Dann, and I told you that virginity is a social construct!"
I fight with all my strength to prevent the Queen from taking my pants off. I don't want my first sexual experience to be with a Goblin!
"Resistance is useless!"
"At least let me lose my virginity to the most beautiful Goblin who lives here...! Although I doubt there are any beautiful goblins, all the goblins in this place are horrible, ugly, stinky, scary, did I say horrible and ugly? Well, I repeat it. Every goblin in this place is horrible, ugly and smells like newborn shit with diarrhea!"
...
...
...
T-they all fell silent, staring at me.
S-shit ... I think I should have kept quiet. I feel the hostility of the goblins increasing! Ahhhhhhhh!!! Now I'm going to get worse!
"Wow, wow. We're ugly and we suck, huh? Bring the finger."
"T-the finger? What is the fin...? W-what?"
A-a goblin brought a kind of belt. A belt?
Is she going to hit me with the belt? Ah, it reminds me of my childhood.
"Are you ready?"
Did she wear the belt? S-shit, I have a bad feeling.
"Hey, what are you wearing your belt for? W-wasn't it to hit me with that?"
"Fufu. No, no, no. It is for this."
The Goblin Queen pressed a button and something came out of the belt. Wow. Will there be technology in this world...? Wait… T-that which came out of the belt is shaped like... L-like... N-no... Nooooooo!
My ass is in danger!
"Since you did not want to give, now you are going to receive. Turn around, Daddy."
"No, no, I prefer to give, I prefer to give! Get that thing away from my ass!"
"Too late to regret it."
"Nooooooo! Kevs, help me!!"
"Master!!!"
T-that voice...
One of the walls inside the cave, where the goblins' home is located, was destroyed, revealing the figure of Kevs, snarling.
Oh, my hero!
"A dog?"
"Woof!!!"- He barked furiously, alerting all the goblins, who put themselves in a fighting position with their knives and spears.
Wow, that bark froze my blood! If I didn't know him, I would have bathed in my pants... Again.
I-I just realized that my pants are dirty. Ahhhhhhhh!!! What a shame! Goodbye, dignity!
Damn goblins, this is your fault! Come on, Kevs, kill them!
"Master, sorry I'm late, my skill [Danger Detection] only alerts me when I'm in danger!!!! I didn't know that!!! Please, I beg you to...!!"
"Yes, yes, I forgive you! Kevs, I'll cook you the most delicious food I can if you kill the goblins!! Please!!"
"Gladly, master!!"
Prepare to feel the wrath of the hero Kevs, you shitty goblins!