The whole day had passed without much issue, mostly due to the fact that we didn't have any classes on Mondays, and the show match was the only thing on our schedule for that day.
So as soon as the others were done eating their lunch, I had made my escape home where I passed the time training until my teacher came home after work.
And now, sitting in the living room, Dona was in the middle of apologizing to me about what happened during my duel with Hugo.
"I'm sorry. I didn't think there were enough demonic traits inside of you for you to... lose control... like that."
"What do you mean?"
As there was a part of me that did, indeed, blame her for what had happened, as she was one of the reasons why the situation even came to be, I was grateful that she apologized. At the same time, I wasn't quite able to understand what she was saying.
So far, there seemed to have been some sort of clash between what Dona had assumed would happen and what actually went down more than once. Not only today but also during the meditation session where I had also lost control of myself. So, today I was hoping that she might have some answers for me.
And if not her, then the fallen god sitting next to me.
"Your body is strange. Because looking at the amount of demonic essence inside of you, you shouldn't have these kinds of struggles at all. A glass of blood every other day should be more than enough to sustain you and to keep your urges in check, but for some reason, it isn't. In fact, it doesn't seem to help much at all."
Even though it was uncomfortable to hear her speak about these kinds of things, about my urges, I still listened intently, as I knew I had to try and understand what kind of creature I now was. Because if Lucifer hadn't stopped me, there was no doubt that the brown-haired student would have lost more than the duel.
"And the only reason I could think of behind this is the strange way Lucifer converted you. Because you didn't just gain a blessing, you seem to have gained part of her, which would also explain why you have the exact same powers as her."
Turning her sight toward Lucifer, it didn't take long before the fallen god confirmed her thoughts.
"That's correct. I didn't just bless him, I infused a part of me inside of him. So you could probably think that his demonic traits are just as strong as that of a youngling filled to the brim with essence. Because in reality, he probably is, even if it's hard to notice because it is sealed inside his core."
*Bam!*
"What were you thinking Lucifer?! How irresponsible can you get?! Is it not enough that you already created this kind of situation for us, why do you have to make Aarick become something like that?!"
"Why would I do so? Because I wanted to. Since when were you able to question my decisions like that, have you already forgotten who I am?!"
"As if I could ever forget! You are the one who made it so we have to stay hidden unless we want to get our cores ripped out by humans!"
"You...!"
"You...!"
"Umm, guys? Could we get back to, you know, that whole thing about my body?"
Needless to say, it was more than awkward sitting on the couch while both of the women around me had risen from their seats, now arguing while staring daggers into each other. I still needed a proper explanation as there was no way I could comprehend what Lucifer had said.
"I'm sorry, Aarick."
"I'm sorry, darling."
With both of them sitting back down, they were finally ready to try and explain to me what was going on, and why it was a problem. Somehow noticing my inner turmoil, a small ethereal hand landed on my leg, and although I couldn't feel it, it still managed to calm my nerves a bit.
At the same time, Dona elucidated and clarified the situation in a more digestible manner. In other words, she kept it simple for a dummy like me.
"As you probably understand, demonic traits are just that, traits that define a demon. In other words, our inherent urges. Just like a human has urges and needs, demons also have them, although they are a bit different."
"Like the need for consuming blood?"
"Well, yes, although depending on the kind of demon you are, some might be more inclined to eat their flesh."
"Wait... kind of demon? Aren't there just demons and not demons?"
Shaking her head, a purple kind of energy surrounded my teacher, and from it, a pair of huge bait-like looking wings appeared, and from her bottom a pointy-ended tail. Finally, her head was now adorned with two gray horns.
"There are many kinds of demons out in the world, and although all of us originally originated from Lucifer, other gods decided to follow her footsteps into hell and also create their own kin. To some extent you could compare us to animals, and how there are many different races."
"So... what kind of demon are you and me?"
"Although Lucifer converted both of us, we are sadly not the same kind of demon, we just belong to the same family. Me, I'm a succubus, and you... I'm not sure and I don't think Lucifer knows either."
Glancing down slightly, we both looked to see what the fallen god had to say about the matter. And, as expected...
"I have no idea! However, although I am not a demon, you will probably turn into a form similar to me!"
"Turn into?"
"What she means, Aarick, is that as your rank grows, your body will start to adapt more and more of a demonic form. So at some point, it will feel more natural for you to have your claws out at all times, as well as the other traits you will attain, than remaining in a human-like form."
I... didn't get it. Or at least it was impossible for me to fully understand what she was saying. To some extent, I already knew that I would get more abilities, but she made it sound as if my abilities weren't actually abilities. As if they were...
"Yes, those Bond abilities you told me about on your status, they aren't abilities that came from a blessing. They are just parts of the demonic form you at some point will attain."
Taking a quick sip of my coffee, I was content with the understanding that I didn't quite understand, at least able to understand that my body would supposedly change in the future.
"Then, what is that demonic essence you spoke about?"
"Demonic essence is... complicated. But you can think of it as a substance that determines the potential of a demon. Unlike humans whose potential is measured by figuring out to what point their vessel is aligned with their blessing, demons have their potential internally. Sadly, a high potential for a demon also means that demonic traits, both in the form of their vessel but also their urges, will also follow suit."
"So, the reason why you thought my demonic essence was low was that you couldn't sense it, but in reality, as Lucifer said, it was just sealed inside my core?"
"Correct. I did find it strange that you could hold such a high potential with so little essence, but as Lucifer was behind it, I didn't question it. But I was wrong. And for that, I'm sorry."
Scratching the back of my head, I believed myself to have gotten a somewhat clear picture of what had happened, but at the same time, I had one more question that I needed to ask.
"So, what happens now?"
Unfortunately, my question only led to Dona looking even more guilty than before and Lucifer turning her head in shame.
"Now... We need to figure out the amount of blood you need to be able to keep your urges in check. As you get stronger, you will naturally get better at controlling yourself, but that might take a long time. After you consumed blood for the first time, your body instantly awakened to a need that it now cannot forget."
And there it was yet again. A feeling that made me disgusted with myself, a feeling that made me feel so incredibly dirty.
Because I wasn't unhappy hearing Dona tell me that I would have to consume more blood. No, in fact, before my mind had even been able to recognize the words, my body was already squealing with joy.
So once again, I was having this kind of chaotic duality inside of me, with two very different sensations of both exhilaration and disgust mixing together. However, I had already decided last time that I wouldn't act weak anymore.
Instead, I looked up at the two women around me and did as I so often did. I prepared myself to meet the future with a smile, the same smile that had led me to survive the first fourteen years of my life.