So with father Kather's permission, we use the rest of our day to go on a date. Well, at least that's what I feel like we're doing despite knowing that Kather is just giving me the detour of the capital.
But when she shows me around the capital, I notice something about Kather. She somehow acts rather differently… As if something was on her mind. It's almost as if she feels guilty about something, but then again, why would she feel guilty? What has she done wrong?
"Are you alright? You seem to be down, wouldn't you be supposed to be happy that we get your father's blessings?" I said that as she does look like that.
Kather doesn't say much, she simply shakes her head. Implying that it wasn't the case.
"Could you at least tell me what it was that has been on your mind?" I ask that question once again as I feel like there's something that she's hiding from me, judging from her expression that is.
"I feel like I am taking you away from her…" Kather said.
Hearing those words simply makes me confuse even more. Because I can't understand with what Kather said, 'taking me away from her'. What does that even mean?
"From my mom? I mean if that is what you mean, you shouldn't worry about it because my mom does already give her approval." I said that to Kather.
The moment I said those words, Kather seems much more upset than she was before. Making me think that what I said earlier wasn't the right reason for her acting like this.
"I don't like this, could just tell me what was on your mind? I don't like this guessing game at all." I said that as I simply doesn't want to make Kather more upset by saying the wrong things.
For a second there, Kather was a bit hesitant about whether to tell me or not. But in the end, she opens her mouth and lets it all out.
"I am talking about Ellyn here! You do realize that she does love you as well, she does want to be your wife as well… and I feel like-" Kather stop as tears began to come out from her eyes.
The moment I hear the name, Ellyn. I then recalled that one girl from my childhood. The one that also confessed her love towards me at the same time as Kather did. Which they both promise to return to the village and confess their love to me.
But Ellyn never does that and the only one who confess their feeling towards me was Kather. And that's why I ended up being with her.
I know it sounds like I pick who one comes first but I do love them both, I don't know why but those feelings have always been there when both of them confess to me. But I realized that I could only marry one girl…
So I chose the one who is closest to me and left the other behind. For the sake of our marriage and also… I didn't really care anymore about Ellyn. So long as I'll get married to Kather… that alone could already make me happy as I only need one girl to be there for me.
And seeing Kather cry is enough of an answer for me. It is a painful reminder to me how close I was with Ellyn but now… it seems that I can no longer see Ellyn as someone dear to me.
Something which made me fall in love with her is gone, leaving me with no idea how to feel toward Ellyn anymore.
That is how far gone I truly am. As I really fall for Kather, and I do love her.
I see Kather crying while trying to hold back her tears. Trying to hide them. It's so unlike her. She normally isn't this weak with her emotions. Even though she tried to mask her feelings through her act, I could still notice them all the same.
They were obvious, clear as day and it made me wonder how I haven't seen them sooner.
I slowly approach Kather and put my hands around her shoulder, gently caressing it as I try to comfort her. It seems that this gesture might have some effect on her since she stops crying soon afterward.
I take that as a good sign. Because seems as though Kather was finally able to open up to me about what was bothering her. At least this way she wouldn't feel the burden of it all alone as I could probably help her make that feeling go away.
"Why didn't you say anything to me? Why did you let me misunderstand you when you clearly wanted to talk to me?" I asked her.
I take a step back and look into Kather's eyes. There were still tears that lingered on her cheeks. Kather then said again "Didn't Ellyn love you too? Did I break her heart? Did I do anything wrong? Was it my fault for taking you away from her?"
I shake my head, "No, it wasn't your fault. Not at all. She loved me, but she wasn't the one that come that day, the only person that was there was you Kather."
I look for a word that describes it better, "Unpredictable." Then I continue, "I think that she was not in love anymore, it's been years and for sure she would have someone that she likes."
Kather then said, "But what if she loves you still, what are-"
I sigh deeply before explaining further, "My feelings towards her weren't exactly mutual. I liked her but I couldn't reciprocate those feelings."
It's true, it was hard for me to accept how I felt. I had thought that if Ellyn had confessed her feelings to me, maybe then I would have returned those feelings to her. But it was not Ellyn that came that day, "I love you and no one else, it's only you Kather."